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“Are you sure Mingyu wants me there?”
A shot of strange look that Wonwoo had given him made Soonyoung feel self-conscious all of a sudden. He didn’t like it, this kind of feeling. Hell, Soonyoung didn’t even know what kind of feeling this was. And he sure hoped his best friend, Wonwoo, who had known him since forever and had always succeeded on seeing right through him wouldn’t notice what was up and put a label on it.
But, of course, a man could only wish.
“Well, why would he not?” Wonwoo averted his gaze back on the game that they were playing, a crease on his forehead. “He invited all of us. He said it himself right to my face just yesterday.”
“Did he, though?” Soonyoung thumbed on his controller mindlessly. “I mean, I’d rather go there if he had, like, really mentioned my name. Instead of, you know, ‘tell your friends to come over, Wonwoo!’”
“Come on,” Wonwoo scoffed, and Soonyoung couldn’t tell whether it was because he thought of him being ridiculous for making a big deal over a dinner invitation or it was because his character was beating Soonyoung’s character’s ass in-game. “Don’t be a dick,” he finished their last round by Wonwoo going all out with his character’s skill to end Soonyoung’s. He then turned to face his friend, more than ready to pluck out what he was thinking. “It’s just dinner. And Mingyu has been nothing but nice ever since all of us got closer at that party.”
“Yeah, but,” Soonyoung shrugged, it was clear that he was avoiding eye contact. “I would rather not go if he didn’t mention my name outright.”
This was weird even for himself and Soonyoung was sure Wonwoo would soon catch up. Or already had, most likely. Because Soonyoung wasn’t the kind of guy who worried about what other people might think of him, let alone a stranger, because that was basically what Mingyu was to him. They had only gotten to talk to each other the night at the party, where their respective group of friends had stumbled upon each other and decided that they clicked, for he couldn’t blame how easy it was for Seungkwan to get close with literally anyone on campus ground and was quite literally the life of the party.
Now, Wonwoo had put down his controller, leaned his body back on the couch, eyes glued to him as he asked, “Do you have a problem with him?”
Soonyoung recoiled like it was the most absurd question he’d ever heard in his life. “What? No, I don’t.”
“What, the both of you sneaked out at the party and now you’re worried about how to really face him in his own humble abode?”
“I wish,” Soonyoung exasperatedly sighed, only to belatedly realize that he had just let out another piece of material that Wonwoo could use to pester him to death.
“You wish?” The comical shocked expression that Wonwoo had on his face could be really funny if Soonyoung wasn’t the one being interrogated right now. “You’re planning to hit on him or something?”
“What—No, I really don’t!” Feeling like the conversation had gone out of hand, Soonyoung slapped Wonwoo’s body with a couch pillow within his reach. It wasn’t until he realized how weird Wonwoo was reacting to it. “And why are you freaking out? Something so bad about that idea itself?”
“Only because he’s a really nice guy and I wouldn’t want you to fuck this new friendship we just developed if you fumbled him,” he truthfully answered. “And because his friend, this Minghao guy, could be really intimidating sometimes—”
“Look, the point is, no, I’m not planning to hit on him,” albeit how adorable and good-looking he was, totally snatched up all of my attention during that first party we had together, Soonyoung continued in his head. “I’m not even sure the guy likes me.”
“Bullshit,” Wonwoo snorted. “Mingyu’s nice. He’s really, really nice. He likes everyone. There’s no way he doesn’t like you.”
The thing is, Soonyoung started to think that maybe Mingyu really did hate him.
It had gotten so bad (Mingyu’s face would just turn sour when he caught sight of him) to the point where Soonyoung sat there, on the carpet in Mingyu and Minghao’s shared living room, and started to reminisce about what went wrong on their first meeting when all the others were having too much fun in a conversation.
What went wrong, though?
Soonyoung was sure he wasn’t being offensive at all that night at the party. Sure, he had some booze, but he wasn’t that drunk to not be able to control his every move and word. And of course Soonyoung had the decency to make a good first impression whenever he met some new people. The funny guy, the easy-going, will-probably-laugh-at-every-joke-you-throw guy, the friendly guy. And had Soonyoung not done only that?
“Are you good?” Hansol, a friend of Mingyu that was at the party too last week, gently nudged him on the shoulder. It was easy to remember Hansol, and Soonyoung wasn’t sure if it was because of his mesmerizingly gorgeous brown doe eyes or if it was the fact that he seemed like he was trying his chances with Chan (and not to show favoritism, but Soonyoung did have a soft spot for the youngest—they grew up as neighbors, afterall). “You’ve been, like, so quiet. Was that your evil twin at the party?”
“Ha,” Soonyoung humorlessly cackled, dismissing Hansol as he shook his head. “I’m good, don’t worry. Just starving.”
“Dinner should start in twenty minutes,” Hansol looked back over his shoulder. “Mingyu hyung’s very serious about his food.”
Right. Why didn’t he think of that?
After he let the silence sit between them for five minutes, Soonyoung stood up from his seat and excused himself to the bathroom. Bathroom shouldn’t be that far to the kitchen, right? So, maybe Soonyoung could approach a cooking Mingyu and talk to him. Maybe Soonyoung could get some clarity, whether he was reading too much into Mingyu’s cold behavior or was it going to be validated by Mingyu himself.
After all, Soonyoung was sure that it seemed like their friend group was going to merge, seeing from how Chan looked just as fond as Hansol was to him, Wonwoo who shared similar liking toward art with Hansol and Minghao who would indulge him, Chan who got so pumped up when he was talking about dancing to Minghao, and of course we didn’t have to talk about how Seungkwan and Mingyu just molded themselves perfectly and easily into each of them. And if they were going to hang out more after this get-together dinner, then Soonyoung might as well try to fix whatever was going on between him and Mingyu.
It wasn’t until he had arrived in the kitchen where he stopped short in his tracks.
“I mean, doesn’t it bother you?” Mingyu’s voice was heard. A little bit mumbled, but distinct enough from the clang of pots and pans for Soonyoung to eavesdrop—which he shouldn’t do, by the way, because did he not just come to the kitchen to patch things up with Mingyu?
“I never take it to the heart, Mingyu,” Seungkwan answered, accompanied by the sound of chopping. “We’ve been friends ever since we just got into college, and knowing Soonyoung, I know he doesn’t do that to mock me either. It’s just something silly that we do, kind of like an inside joke, you know?”
“Well, I don’t like that he jokes like that about you,” even with his back facing him, Soonyoung knew there was a pout forming on Mingyu’s face. “I feel like it’s insulting. And I’m not judging how you guys joke around, I’m really not. I just wish he’d find a better way to, like, make fun of you.”
Seungkwan laughed and patted Mingyu on the back, leaning against him to assure him that he really was okay before pulling away again and resumed chopping vegetables (Soonyoung saw it when Seungkwan’s body moved out of the way for a second). “I know, I know. And thank you for worrying. But we always had a good laugh when he did that, me included.”
“I didn’t,” Mingyu huffed, and then he said something that felt like a pang in Soonyoung’s chest. “Making fun of how you talk and how you walk in an exaggerated way, even with the limp wrist? Doesn’t that feel kind of homophobic?”
Oh. So that was the reason.
With a quick backtrack down the memory lane, Soonyoung did do that the night at the party. Mimicking how Seungkwan talked and walked in, well, an exaggerated way was something that Soonyoung always did just to spite Seungkwan, to eke out the annoyed Seungkwan that soon would join the laugh from how silly it was.
Soonyoung didn’t know Mingyu found it offensive.
“Homoph—what?”
“A straight guy like him shouldn’t be going around making fun of his gay friend, you know?” Mingyu was now busy pulling out whatever it was from the oven and set it carefully on the kitchen counter.
“Oh,” Seungkwan halted. Soonyoung could see the gears running in his mind and he was curious to what he would do next. “I mean, um, straight? I don’t know if he’s like that. I wouldn’t just assume.”
“Well, is he gay?” Mingyu asked, though his tone didn’t sound demanding. It sounded like he genuinely wanted to know, and Soonyoung was right. “Because, honestly, not long ago, Jihoon wanted to introduce me to someone named Soonyoung, too. Said this friend of his really likes kimchi. And, like,” the tip of Mingyu’s ears had reddened. “He thought it would be a good idea to introduce us to each other. Me as the kimchi-maker and him as the kimchi-eater. God, what am I even saying? I’m not even sure now if it’s the same Soonyoung.”
Little did Mingyu know, it was the same Soonyoung. Jihoon was the guy who went to the same highschool with him, kind of a loner so he didn’t really have a clique, but occasionally would hang out with Soonyoung and some other colleagues that he had.
It felt like a punch to his gut.
The Jihoon was going to introduce him to the Mingyu?
“I’m pretty sure it’s the same Soonyoung,” Seungkwan mused. The tense on his shoulders dissipated for not having to play guessing on Soonyoung’s sexuality anymore now that the topic had shifted.
“So, maybe it was just a platonic ‘I’ll introduce you to my friend’, probably.”
“You sound disappointed,” Seungkwan giggled. “Are you?”
“Kind of,” Mingyu shrugged. “He is cute. But I should change my mind. I wouldn’t want to have a crush on a guy who makes fun of my friend like that.”
No. No way. That wouldn’t do!
Soonyoung mentally screamed, his heart felt like dropping down to his ass. But what should he do now? He obviously couldn’t sprung himself out to where the two of them were standing, because not only was he (allegedly) homophobic, Mingyu could hate him more now if he found out that he’d been eavesdropping.
He had to fix this. He had to.
When the group agreed to go on a karaoke after dinner, Mingyu insisted that he’d join them soon after he tidied up the place. He didn’t like leaving his place messy like this, and after Minghao assured them that he wouldn’t stand them up and really show up, the group finally gave in and left earlier.
Except for Soonyoung who was still standing in front of their front door. He told the others that he was going to fetch something that he had left behind and they just let him be, telling him that they had sent him the address of the karaoke place they were going to.
But he’d been staring at the door for five minutes, contemplating whether he should really come inside or not. What would he do then? Should he knock first? He wasn’t even sure Mingyu would let him come in, when the door suddenly burst open and someone let out a surprised yelp.
“What—!” Soonyoung’s eyes widened, registering the taken aback Mingyu that was holding a black trash bag. “Soonyoung hyung? What are you doing here?”
He blinked, taking in the fact that Mingyu just called him ‘hyung’ for probably the second or third time.
“Didn’t you leave with the others?” Mingyu asked, though not unkindly.
“Oh, um,” Soonyoung gulped. Say something, anything! he begged himself, tell Mingyu that you left your phone like you did the others! “I was actually going to help you clean up, but…” He looked down on the trash bag that Mingyu was holding, “It seemed like you’re done with it?”
“Actually,” Mingyu mused, letting his sentence hang in the air. “I still haven’t tidied up the kitchen table.”
So, they went inside.
His palms were sweaty and Soonyoung quietly wiped it on the seams of his pants, tailing Mingyu from behind. “Great place, by the way. Good, yummy foods, too,” he blabbered, not once stopping even when they had arrived at the kitchen. “I haven’t got the chance to compliment your cooking personally back then.”
Mingyu smiled, his cheeks looking a little red from all the awkward compliments. “Thank you, Soonyoung hyung.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Soonyoung shrugged, trying to play it cool. “It’s just, um, I hope you wouldn’t mind but I kind of, uh, heard you. And I’m here to clarify some things.”
Mingyu, who was wiping the kitchen table with a soft cloth, halted his movement. “What are you talk—”
“First of all, I’m really good friends with Seungkwan,” Soonyoung kept on wiping the kitchen table, eyes glued to it, not wanting (or daring) to check the expression flashed on Mingyu’s face. “There is no way I’m making fun of him in that kind of way. It was just for funsies. He made fun of me, too. It was a mutual symbiotic kind of joke.”
When Mingyu didn’t say anything, he continued, “Second, I’m super not straight. Which makes me gay. I don’t know where you got the idea of me being a straight guy, because that was so, so messed up,” he laughed, because it really was weird, being accused of being a straight guy was probably never on Soonyoung’s bingo list. “And, the last one, I’m really into kimchi.”
“Oh,” was all Mingyu said, his cheeks beet red now. “That’s… That’s good to know…”
“Yeah…” Soonyoung stood up straight again when he’d finished cleaning up the kitchen table, even the part that was supposed to be Mingyu’s to clean. “I just thought you ought to know. I’m not … Some kind of hetero jerk who makes fun of my friends. I’m still sorry for eavesdropping, though. Please, don’t hate me anymore.”
“Hate is a strong word, hyung,” Mingyu sighed, though an unmistakable smile of relief was there on his face. “I believe I just got off the wrong foot with you. I’m sorry for assuming.”
Soonyoung finally looked up, staring at Mingyu who was staring back at him now. “Tell Jihoon that he doesn’t need to introduce us to each other anymore.”
“God,” Mingyu laughed, a genuine one. It was weird how it was able to lift up all of the tension on Soonyoung’s shoulder.
“And you still owe me your so-called legendary kimchi,” Soonyoung jokingly demanded and it succeeded in making Mingyu laugh, again.
“I can make you one right now, if you want to,” the taller guy’s eyelashes fluttered, his cheeks still red. “Consider this an apology, you know, if I’ve been making you uncomf—”
“Hey, Mingyu,” Soonyoung cut in. It took all of his willpower to not place his hand on top of Mingyu’s hand for reassurance. “It’s okay. It was just a misunderstanding.”
For some reason, Mingyu held his gaze. His was a soft one, which made Soonyoung’s heart pathetically thumped in an arhythmic manner. “You know, you turned out to be the opposite of the guy I thought you were.”
“I’m glad I am,” he made a motion as if he was a gentleman tipping his hat. “D’you still find me cute, too?”
“Oh, shut up,” Mingyu groaned, throwing the soft cloth that landed on Soonyoung’s stomach who was giggling. “Eavesdropping is such a no-no thing to do, but I’ll let it slide since I gave you hell for the past meetings.”
“Thank you!” Soonyoung threw his hands in the air, following Mingyu to the kitchen sink where he started to prepare the ingredients for the kimchi. “I think you’re cute, too.”
“Thanks,” Mingyu deadpanned, glaring at him in a way that didn’t make Soonyoung stand on his tippy toes. “Now, do you want the kimchi or not?”
“Yes, please.”
“Then stop bothering me and let me do the work.”
“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Soonyoung leaned against the counter, looking up at him. “I need to keep you on my watch, just in case you tried to poison me.”
Later on, when the kimchi was done, they both laughed at how they just realized that they bailed on the karaoke thing. It was okay, Soonyoung thought, as he saw the group came back and scolded the both of them for not giving them a heads-up, before swarming the kimchi like bees did a flower.
Soonyoung glanced at Wonwoo and Seungkwan who were still munching. A thumbs up from Wonwoo and a knowing stare from Seungkwan was all that he needed. Soonyoung wouldn’t fuck this up, he thought as he popped another kimchi into his mouth, staring at Mingyu who was waiting for another compliment of his cooking—Soonyoung would never dreamed of the day where he fucked a person and a friendship so good like this up.