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“It is yet another day of existence,” came Wednesday’s greeting that Sunday morning. Tyler was at the stove, crumbling sausage pieces into a skillet of scrambled eggs. As she was taking a mug from the cabinet, she gave him a once over. His hair was tousled, the t-shirt he wore was oversized and he looked far too attractive just to be standing there.
“Mhm,” he leaned over to kiss her. “Happy Mother’s Day.”
She grumbled in response. Wednesday had already informed Tyler, Dean, and the rest of the family that she had no interest in celebrating this overly commercialized holiday. She did not want any cards or gifts or mentions of it.
Unless someone was going to give Wednesday the head of her mother on a platter, she wanted nothing to do with it.
“What did I tell you?” She said in disapproval. She’d just known he was going to sneak it in somewhere. If he thought he could get away with giving her a present, she was going to put her foot down.
“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, “I’m done. I promise.”
Wednesday scoffed on her way to the table to sit down. She doubted that.
“You know, before I forget, your dad wants to make sure we’re still coming over later,” Tyler added, pouring some salt and pepper over the skillet.
“If we must.” The celebrations were for her own mother. Frankly, Wednesday thought Morticia Addams didn’t need her ego inflated anymore than it was. “But if anyone tries to include me, I cannot be blamed for what happens after that.”
“Don’t worry, there’s no surprises. I made sure of that,” he said.
“I suppose you do have uses every now and than.”
He sent her a flirty smile over his shoulder. “Maybe when my dad leaves, I’ll show you what other uses I have.”
His intended effect fell flat. Wednesday zeroed in on one small detail he’d yet to discuss with her. “When your father leaves? I was unaware he was going to be coming .”
That smile turned sheepish. “Oh. Uh, I guess I forgot to tell you he was coming over for breakfast.”
“What part of I do not want to celebrate are you struggling to comprehend?” She demanded.
He waved her off. “It’s not for you. Dad just wants to get together. It’s been a while. Plus, he wants to see Dean. It just so happens it’s today.”
“What is his estimated time of arrival? I want to be long gone by than.”
Tyler rolled his eyes.
“He should be here in-” He checked his phone. “Ten minutes or so. Hopefully Dean will be back soon.”
Their son had gone to spend the night with Pugsley. Although, technically since her brother still lived in the Addams family home, that also included her parents.
Tyler had confided in her once that he was glad that Dean had Pugsley in his life. It would be good for him, he’d said, to have someone like that in his life he could bond with and have someone else to go to if he felt like he couldn’t come talk to either one of them. He didn’t have that kind of closeness with any relatives when he’d been Dean’s age, so he was glad his son had the opportunity.
Wednesday was just glad to have a kid-free night.
“I’m assuming he will be. Pugsley had told me he would drop Dean off before the afternoon,” she said, relishing in the caffeine she was drinking. “You know as well as I do that he will insist on sharing every little detail of what went on last night.”
“And you know as well as I do that you love it anyway,” Tyler replied.
Wednesday didn’t get to respond and refute that because the front door came bursting open. Dean rushed in ahead of his uncle, jumping into his father’s arms, who’d only just turned around.
“Hey, Buddy,” Tyler laughed, holding him tight. “How was the sleepover with Uncle Pugsley?”
“It was the best!” He exclaimed. “Uncle Pugsley said I’m gonna be a fugitive like Uncle Fester!”
Dean threw his arms around Tyler’s neck, snuggling close. Tyler, with one hand on his head, laughed softly. “Oh, don’t let Grandpa Don hear you say that. I don’t need him stroking out.”
“Let’s not be hasty, Tyler,” Wednesday said. “If that’s all it takes to get rid of your father, we should have done it years ago.”
Tyler snorted, setting Dean down. Their son immediately rushed over to Wednesday.
“Mama, guess what! I gotta present for you!”
Wednesday stared blankly down at him. “Dean, we discussed this. I don’t want any gifts.”
“But you’ll like this one!” Dean insisted. “ Please?”
Wednesday glared at Tyler, figuring he was the culprit for this, but her husband held up his hands to proclaim his innocence.
“Don’t look at me. I didn’t have anything to do with this.”
“Then who did?” Tyler shrugged so she addressed Dean. “Have your grandparents been using you? Was this their idea? You need not listen to them. They’re meddlesome and will stop at nothing to get what they want.”
“Sounds familiar,” Tyler remarked. She scowled.
“No,” Dean shook his head. “It was my idea! Uncle Pugsley helped.”
Wednesday’s lips pursed. She’ll have to show Pugsley why it was a bad idea to disobey her direct orders.
Dean made a whining noise, tugging on her hand. “Can I give it to you? Please?”
He was stretching out that last word, being quite a nuisance.
“Alright!” She said, annoyed. “Very well. Go get it.”
Dean cheered and ran off back out the front door.
Tyler smirked at her. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint him.”
“It isn’t too late to make him fatherless,” she said coldly.
The door swung open for the second time. They could hear Dean chattering animatedly to Pugsley.
“Come on, Uncle Pugsley! Faster!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming. You need me to pick it up?”
“No, I got it!”
Tyler took a casual drink of his coffee, turning off the stove. “What exactly does he have? ”
“I’m not sure but we will find out soon enough,” Wednesday loathed to admit to having any curiosity, but she couldn’t help but wonder what Dean could have gotten for her that was big enough to warrant Pugsley offering his help.
Dean, breathless but smiling widely and proudly, was pulling along something, or rather someone .
“Is that-” Tyler had set down his own mug, eyebrows flying up to his hairline and glancing at her.
“Look what I did!” Dean beamed.
“Hey, I helped,” Pugsley said to him playfully, ruffling his curls.
Down on the floor, hogtied and with a piece of tape over his mouth was Xavier. His eyes widened when he saw Wednesday, and he made muffled noises of distress.
“Quiet!” Dean kicked him in the side. Xavier grunted in pain.
“Tyler crossed his ankles, humming. “Do I want to know how you did all this?”
“Uncle Pugsley knocked him out,” Dean informed them. Pugsley grinned shamelessly.
“That was after we forged a note. He thought it was Wednesday who wanted to see him.”
“We came outta nowhere!” Dean said, bouncing on his heels. “We hid in the bushes and he got scared and screamed!”
“Yeah, we did!” Pugsley high-fived his nephew. “I had my doubts about his tying but he did really well.”
“ You tied him up?” Tyler said, surprised.
Dean nodded happily. “Uh huh!”
“Of course he did,” Wednesday huffed. “Did you not think I would teach my son any basic life skills?”
Pugsley shrugged.
Tyler came to stand next to her, still looking down at Xavier. “So, uh, what do we do with him?”
“We could send Vincent Thorpe a ransom note,” she considered. Pugsley’s eyes lit up when he saw the skillet full of eggs and sausage and went over there at once.
“For money?” Tyler raised a brow.
“Of course not. I have much better ideas in mind, Tyler.”
Pugsley nodded in agreement, his head bowed as he shoveled in the eggs.
“Hey,” Tyler said scoldingly, slapping the back of Pugsley’s head. “Get out of that! That’s not for you!”
Pugsley groaned. “I’m hungry!”
Wednesday looked down when she felt Dean’s arms around her waist. “Do you like it?” He asked, his blue eyes big and filled with hope.
That she blamed on Tyler.
“Yes, Little Bat,” Wednesday patted him on the head. “You did very well.”
Xavier heard this and somehow managed to send her a look of incredulity.
Wednesday ignored him.
Dean let go of her when the doorbell rang. “It’s Grandpa Don!” He took off before Tyler could remind him about the rule regarding the door.
“Don’t you-” Tyler sighed when Dean did it anyway, greeting the sheriff loudly. He glanced down at Xavier, hands on his hips. “What are we supposed to do with him? My dad can’t see him like this. He’ll blow a gasket.”
“Pugsley, take him out back,” she said uncaringly. “We'll deal with the ransom note later.”
Her brother muttered under his breath, grumpy about being taken away from the food. He took the rope, dragging Xavier across the floor and out the back door. All the while, Xavier wiggled, making more noises until the door shut behind them.