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Sniper was an interesting man to say the least. He was a man who took his job seriously. Someone who would sit in one specific position for hours on end, just to get the one perfect shot. But yet, at the same time, he'd piss in jars, filling them to them brim and throwing them at unsuspecting victims. Cackling at them afterwards, mocking the poor piss-soaked person who was just trying to go about their day.
Sniper was such a strange man, and that's what Scout loved about him. He loved how polarizing Sniper was. But there was one problem though.
Sniper was an addict.
No, it wasn't to drugs or alcohol, he was smarter than that. No, it was something to much, much worse.
Swedish Fish.
Everywhere Sniper went, he had a pack of Swedish Fish with him. All of Sniper's little hiding spots, there were packs of Swedish Fish just waiting for him. And the worst place was his camper van. The man had two whole cabinets just dedicated to the red gummies! It was neverending.
It worried Scout. Though he was scared to admit it, he loved Sniper. He cared about the Aussie very much. So it worried him to see his beloved friend constantly munching on those damned fish. How had Sniper not grown sick of them yet? It was ridiculous.
So here sat Scout in the rec room, thinking. Pyro sat beside him, scribbling away at their drawing. Scout tried to not pay too much attention to it, due to how graphic the drawing was. It was a strange mixture of cute and morbid. Scout needed help, and he figured it wouldn't hurt to ask the pyromaniac for some help.
"Hey, Py, you got a moment?"
"Hmm?" Pyro looked up from their drawing to Scout, head tilted in curiosity.
"I need some help. You ever notice how Sniper is always eating Swedish Fish?"
Pyro nodded.
"I think it's getting outta hand. I wanna help him get get off the stuff, but I don't really know how to." Scout sighed, shaking his head. Looking over to the other merc, hoping they'd offer something useful.
Pyro hummed, thinking for a moment before an idea came to mind. They got up, urging Scout to do the same. Taking the young merc's hand, Pyro mumbled out their little idea while walking out of the rec room.
~~
"Alright, I'll bite, where we going, mate?" Sniper asked, sitting blindfolded in the backseat of a car he was led to by Scout and Pyro. He knew this couldn't be good, when those two paired up disaster was always just around the corner.
"You'll see soon, Snipes. Just hang on a bit" Scout said, turning to look over at Pyro with a smirk. Scout was quite surprised when he found out Pyro could drive, though when asked about their license, Scout was just met with a blank and unnerving stare.
Scout was excited, he was finally gonna be able to help his crush kick his-
His thoughts were suddenly disrupted by the familiar sound of crinkling. That very familiar crinkling noise.
Whipping his head around, Scout stared in horror at Sniper.
"Snipes! What are you doing?"
"Nothing." Sniper said while casually popping a Swedish Fish in his mouth.
Scout stared blankly for a second before reaching over and snatching the bag from him. Sniper let out a screech, offended that his beloved candy was taken from him.
Sniper blindly reached forward, trying to find locate where Scout was. "Give it back, dickhead!"
"No" Scout moved away from Sniper's grabbing hands. "You don't need these, Sniper!"
"Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can't have?"
"I'm trying to do what's best for you!"
"I swear to God, mate, if you don't give those back I'll-"
"Hmph hmph!" Pyro said, pulling in to park at their destination.
Sniper ripped the blindfold off and stared at the building, reading the name of it.
"Rehab?"
"Yeah, that's right" Scout started, "Sniper, you have a problem, and Pyro and I feel like the best way to squash this is to put you in rehab"
Sniper stared at Scout absolutely dumbfounded, "Mate, I don't have no addiction. I don't need no rehab. Besides, this is for people addicted to drugs and alcohol, not fuckin' candy."
"Yeah, whatever. Keep denying it all you want, that isn't gonna change anything. If you keep fighting this, I'll have Pyro tie you up, right, Py?" Scout looked over to Pyro who proceeded to hold up a scary amount of rope.
Sniper gave it, not wanting to deal with Pyro's wrath. The three proceeded to leave the car and enter the building, walking up to the receptionist desk. Sniper could already tell something bad was going to happen. Scout walks up to the desk, leaning against it, trying to look cool.
The receptionist looks up and smile gently, "Hello! How may I help you?"
"Hey, toots, I'm here to check my friend in. He's, like, a super addict and needs some serious help."
"Well, that's what we're here for. What is it that he's addicted to?"
"Swedish Fish." Scout proclaimed
...
"Excuse me?" The nurse looked at Scout, confused as to if she heard him correctly. "Did you say 'Swedish Fish'?"
"Yeah, I did. He's so crazy addicted to them. We keep finding him eating them, and even had to take them from him before we even came here!" Scout throw his hands around, throwing up the dramatics.
The nurse became flabbergasted. "Sir, I'm sorry, but this is a place to rehabilitate from drugs and alcohol. Not candy. That's something we cannot help with."
Scout looked at the woman, appalled. How could she refuse them like that? His beloved Sniper had a crippling addiction and needed help! And she was just going to turn them away? It was unacceptable. Slamming his hands on the desk, Scout started to argue with the woman. "This is outrageous! My best friend is in dire need of help and you're just gonna turn us away?"
"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave or I will call the cops." The nurse warns.
"Do it! I dare you. They're gonna be on my side anyways since you think it's okay to deny an addict for help!"
~~
Standing outside of the rehab facility, Sniper and Pyro stood and watched as Scout resisted getting into the police officer's car. Scout screamed and thrashed, going on about how his friend needs help and how he was being unlawfully arrested.
A different officer stood by Sniper and Pyro, he had been questioning the two about the stuff Scout was spouting and about the runner himself as well.
"Is... Is you friend always like this?" The officer asks Sniper.
"Nah, sir, this is rather uncharacteristic of him." Sniper mused, starting to realize that yeah, Scout had been acting strange recently. Sniper had never been one to question things but now here he was, outside of a rehab facility, watching his coworker getting arrested after trying to check him in for liking Swedish Fish. Sniper huffed and shook his head. Scout is Scout. He's just being the young goober he's always been.
Sniper walked up to the cop car Scout was residing it. He asked the officer if he could talk to Scout. The cop allowed it, rolling his window down so the two could speak. Scout was happy to see his Sniper. He wish that Sniper would rip the car door open, pick him up bridal style, and whisk him away from this crazy place.
"Snipes! Dude, you gotta help me get outta here! What they're doing isn't right. I was just trying to help you!" Scout cried, giving Sniper his best puppy eyes to convince the Aussie to help him.
"Mate, you beat three officers unconscious and tried to steal one's car. You're too far gone for me to help."
"But Snipes! Please! There's a reason I did all of this." Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Scout continued, " Sniper, there's something I wanna tell you. I lov-"
"Wait, you got something behind you ear." Reaching through the bars, Sniper reached behind Scout's ear, causing the runner's breath to get caught in his throat and a blush blossmed on his face. He looked up at Sniper, mesmerized by the Aussie's rugged features. Oh how Scout wanted to kiss this man.
Scout's thoughts got cut off when Sniper pulled his hand back, revealing a Swedish Fish held in between his fingers. That caused Scout to get mad. "Are you freaking kidding me? Get rid of that right now!"
"If you say so." Sniper said, popping the gummy in his mouth with a smile.
"No! Don't eat it!"
"Too late, mate."
Scout groaned, mad that Sniper was essentially able to get the last laugh in. Before he could continue, Sniper spoke again.
"You know, think I'm gonna go back to the base and have and have an Adam Sandler marathon with Pyro."
"You're STILL obsessed with Adam Sandler? God, when do you quit, Snipes?" Scout yelled, not wanting to rememeber those dark times.
Sniper started to walk away, "See ya when you get out of jail!"