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Traveling The Stars
“I saw wonderful things. Traveled the stars with my Master.” Barriss Offee says wistfully, looking upwards to an imaginary sky above her rather than the family that sits before her.
For a brief moment, the former Jedi Padawan is taken down memory lane, remembering the many adventures she took with the woman she will forever consider her as her mother. Yes, Barriss is aware that somewhere, on Mirial most likely, that her birth mother exists but it was Jedi Master Luminara Unduli that raised her from infancy into the woman she is in the present. It’s one thing to give birth to a child but it is another to be there for all the ups and downs, through all the smiles and the tears, through all the temper tantrums and the adolescent mood swings, and above all through all triumphs and failures. Despite all that’s happened between them, Barriss would want nothing more than to have her Master by her side even if it meant that there would only be time for just one last “I love you” or “I’m so sorry.” No matter how old Barriss gets, she will always yearn for Luminara’s loving embrace and wisdom. At this point in her life, Barriss could only hope that she could become half of the Jedi Luminara once was, that she has made her Master proud and that someday they could reunite and make amends once she becomes one with the Force.
One particular memory stands out in Barriss’s mind. Barriss had to be no older than five years of age and she and Luminara were sitting in the Jedi Temple gardens staring up into the trillions of stars in the Coruscanti sky. Little Barriss was sitting in her future Master’s lap, clad in her nightgown and hair a mess, completely in awe at the many adventures she would one day embark on when she was older.
“Master, where would we go first?” asks little Barriss, turning her head to meet Luminara’s amethyst eyes that sparkled in the starlight.
Luminara lets out a small laugh.
“Probably Ilum when it’s time to find your kyber crystal for your lightsaber and then I would take you to Mirial when it’s time to get your tattoos and learn about our homeworld.”
“You said there was snow on Ilum right?” Barriss presses, eyes growing wider at the thought of a whole planet covered in snow.
“Yes and Mirial too. We can have all the snowball fights and we’ll go sledding!” Luminara winks.
Barriss squeals in excitement. “Yes! And there will be cute creatures for me to pet right?”
“Of course Padawan mine, but no taking them home, you’re already a handful!” Luminara teases, tickling her future Padawan to which the girl laughs.
“Stop Master or I’m gonna get you too!” Barriss warns before seeing a strange blue box in Luminara’s hand.
“What is that Master?”
“A Jedi holocron.” Luminara answers. “We Jedi use these a bit like a journal where we can record our experiences and wisdom so future Jedi can learn from us.”
“So what are we going to use this holocron for then?”
Luminara leans down to kiss Barriss on the forehead before giving the holocron for the girl to hold.
“I’m going to record all of our space travels and your training so you have something to look back to when I’m old and gone and you’re training your own Padawan.”
Barriss immediately cries.
“No Master, don't say that! We’re going to be together forever and ever!”
Luminara thumbs the tears away.
“You’re right my wise little Barriss. We’re going to need more than one holocron to record everything!”
Barriss stops crying and nods her head.
“Yes! We’re gonna fill a whole archive full of adventures!”
Luminara gives Barriss a squeeze looking back up to the stars. Barriss does the same, gripping the holocron in her hands tightly with the determination that she makes what she said come true. That she and her Master would be the first Master and Padawan to travel every single corner of the galaxy.
Quickly returning back to the present moment, knowing her promise to Luminara never came true, Barriss drifts her eyes downward.
“But that was long ago.”
And it is true, those sentiments were long ago, and even though Barriss and her Master weren’t able to make it, that didn’t mean she would let the same thing happen to this baby human boy in front of her and his parents. Barriss would get them to safety, it’s the very least she could do. Someday, somehow she will ask for Luminara’s forgiveness and maybe still travel the stars in a different way.
_____________________________________
Several Years Before
Former Jedi Master and now Imperial prisoner Luminara Unduli could not wait for the Grand Inquisitor to leave her. Luminara had recently been captured and throughout her entire arrest, the Puan wasted no time informing her of how he had once trained her Barriss in the ways of the Dark Side and how proud he was of her, how she was his favorite pupil until she disappeared forever. It all made Luminara’s blood boil knowing that this despicable being had anything to do with her Padawan, her baby. The Mirialan didn’t dare dignify his statements with a response, all she could do was ball her handcuffed fists and stare at the Grand Inquisitor with a venom she wished could kill. No doubt the Inquisitor felt her anger judging by his coy smile as he left her with the final insult that hit her where it counted. He may as well have run his lightsaber through her heart when he whispered into her ear, “How does it feel that you failed so much that your little girl turned to us for freedom?”
How dare the Grand Inquisitor add more salt into the gaping wound that has been there since the day she learned of Barriss’s arrest. Of course Luminara is aware she failed to save her Padawan from the darkness that has taken her when she was off world fighting a war that never mattered and the worst part of it all was that she was never given the chance to tell Barriss she was sorry. Visitation had been prohibited no matter how hard Luminara fought it. She knew Barriss couldn’t be truly gone, that she could still help her if given the chance.
But if nothing but death awaited Luminara at this point, she would have to make peace with it. Maybe in death, she could still reach out to Barriss and tell her how sorry she was even if her Padawan could not forgive her. No matter what the outcome would be, nothing was going to stop Luminara Unduli from telling her Barriss how much she loved her.
In that instant all of Luminara’s Jedi training went down the train as tears began to burn in her eyes and stream down her cheeks. Oh what she would do to hold the baby she was introduced to so many years ago. The baby with the soft dark brunette curls, large blue eyes, and infectious laugh. Whose tiny hands reached for her face constantly. Luminara would do anything to go back in time and savor that moment over and over again. Or perhaps she could go to the day Barriss learned to walk laughing with pride as the toddler made her way to her future Master or the days where they would play in the snow when she was a child who looked so tiny swimming in the blue cloak she would later grow into. Hell, Luminara would even take the hilariously strange teenage days in which Barriss would stress over her crush for her fellow Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano (who Luminara very much approved of) or when Barriss would crawl into her bed due to another nightmare. Anything. Just anything would be better than sitting in the cold dark cell she was in.
If Barriss were to just appear in her cell what would Luminara say besides “sorry”? Luminara thinks back to a moment between her and Barriss during the Clone Wars. It was the time in which her Padawan had presented her with a beautiful gift to celebrate a holiday referred to on Coruscant as “Mother’s Day”.
Luminara sits exhausted in the bunkard she shares with her Padawan. She rubs her temples feeling another incoming headache come on as there appears to be no end in sight with this dreadful war. She and Barriss had just left the planet of Drongar in which they had to protect a medicinal plant known as “bota'' from the Separatists. Rumor had it that it would enhance the abilities of the Force sensitive and that’s the last thing the Jedi needed individuals like Count Dooku and Ventress to have, more power to bring horror and despair to millions of innocents.
The door hisses open to reveal Barriss holding a bouquet of her favorite Mirialan flowers and a small gift box with a green satin bow on top.
“Happy Mother’s Day Master!” Barriss announces happily to which Luminara immediately jumps off her bunk to embrace her Padawan.
“Oh Barriss thank you, you shouldn’t have!” Luminara says running a hand through Barriss’s hair.
“How could I not? You deserve all the appreciation for raising me!” Barriss reassures.
Luminara pulls back, gripping Barriss’s shoulders.
“It is an honor and a privilege to raise such a beautiful, brilliant girl.”
Luminara then smells the flowers.
“They’re perfect, how did you get these? Certainly not from Drongar!”
“I got them before we left Coruscant and then preserved them here on the ship in case the mission ran long.” Barriss confesses bashfully.
“Smart as always.” Luminara shakes her head, still beaming. “What did I do to deserve you?”
Barriss gestures to the gift box.
“Open it.”
Luminara did as instructed and two silver necklaces that held two halves of a full moon were revealed. One moon halve contained a green gem, the other a blue gem. The Jedi Master was speechless and looked up to her Padawan in shock.
“They’re moon necklaces I got from the Mirialan marketplace on Coruscant. I figure with the two of us being separated all the time, we could wear these to think of the other. I can wear the green one to think of you and you can wear the blue one, our lightsaber colors!” Barriss gleefully explains.
Luminara then embraces Barriss a second time, tears falling onto her Padawan’s back.
“They’re perfect Barriss. I shall proudly wear this forever and always!”
And that’s how the two stayed for a while both crying at just how much the other loved and missed the other from all that’s happened.
And Luminara stayed true to her promise, even after the Temple bombing, she still wore the moon halve under her robe close to her heart to keep Barriss with her. It has become her good luck charm (even though according to Master Obi-Wan Kenobi there was “no such thing as luck”) but Luminara needed to have it, to hold onto the chance that one day she and Barriss could have a chance of a new life one day. Once the war was over, Luminara planned on freeing Barriss and leaving the Order to go rest and heal herself and her Padawan. It was only after the arrest, did the Imperials rip the necklace from her and throw it away, never to be seen again. It broke Luminara’s already shattered heart into even more tiny pieces.
Now that day would never come now if she couldn’t escape this prison.
Luminara turns to her right and sees Barriss in her old Padawan attire, smiling at her. The older woman knows she’s only seeing things and that Barriss wasn’t really there, but Luminara needed to set her soul free of guilt before she faces whatever grim fate the Empire has in store for her. Luminara cups Barriss’s cheeks just like she had done many times before whenever her little girl cried.
“Oh Barriss if I could just hold you one last time and tell you how sorry I am. I love you so much and I always will. You will forever and always be my Padawan, my daughter and I’m still so proud of you. Should we ever see each other again, I’ll never let you go. But until we meet again, travel the stars for me, complete the mission we never got to finish. Wherever you are now, may the Force be with you.”