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It was really hard to comprehend, how even after the biggest pain she has ever felt in her life, after all the struggles that came with pregnancy, just with that first look she knew that her baby was now the love of her life.
“He is so cute, isn’t he?” her husband said next to her bed “Ahh, he looks a lot like you”
He was so cute and adorable she couldn't stop looking at him.
“Our little Yoshikazu”
A little baby boy, with black hair on his head, round head and red cheeks. He was so small and seemed too fragile, and yet he was sleeping soundly, secure in his mother’s arms.
“Seems like we choose the right name.”
“Yeah, welcome Yoshi-kun”
In that moment she promised that she would do her best to make her baby happy.
Time flied so fast and three years later Miyano Yuki was looking at her son, wearing that yellow hat on his head, with his light blue button-up shirt and black shorts, hiding behind her as they were standing in front of school.
His first day of kindergarten and both parents wanted to be there on that special day.
With the school year going from April to March, and Yoshikazu being born in February, it was inevitable that his boy would be smaller than the other kids. She heard how other mom said that even if they were younger, they would always try harder to reach up to their older classmates, these kids would normally look up to people older than them.
And so, she held onto that, hoping her Yoshi-kun would look up to someone, that would make him always do his best.
Hard to believe right now with Yoshikazu almost crying behind her leg.
“Yoshikazu” her husband crouched down to their son's height. It was always funny seeing them. A very tall papa with a really small kid, but she couldn’t ask for a better dad for her son.
“I know you are scared, but everything will be okay. Remember, you can do everything if you keep trying” he took off the hat to rub that black fluffy hair. Her boy, cleaning the tears trying to fall from his big eyes nodded, still looking sadly at the floor, not wanting to leave her mother's side for the first time.
“And Yoshikazu, remember to always look at people in the eyes when you are talking to them. Okay?” another little nod, Yoshi-kun finally letting go of the fabric of her skirt.
It was a single advice that they thought would help their son to not be so shy around others.
“We’ll see you after school, Yoshi-kun.”
They watched as their son walked with the teacher, ready to begin his school life, hoping it would be a good one, even if it has their son starting school, she was more nervous about it than him. But everything went good and after school, her boy rushed to her giving her one of the biggest hugs, quickly talking about all the things he learned that day, the biggest smile on his face.
He was going to be okay.
Through the next years she felt so grateful for her son because Yoshikazu was such a responsible and kind kid.
Once he was in elementary school, she just had to tell him a few times that he should always review the material of his classes and then it became a habit for him. And just like his dad and mom, he was a bookworm. Instead of asking her to go to the park, he would be the happiest whenever they went to the library, looking for something new to read in the kids section.
In school he would always do his homework without her reminding him, he would always try to get good grades and kept his uniform and things according to the dressing code. Her son was always trying his best.
Unless it was cooking, then he was a hopeless case.
“Yoshi-kun, careful!”
She said just before the flour blew up from the bowl, making a mess in the space around her son.
“Ugh… Sorry, I'll clean all this”
At 10 years old she wanted to teach him how to cook, just easy recipes, like hot cakes. The problem was that he was so clumsy with his hands, it seemed an impossible task.
When they tried another time, not only the flour blew up, but Yoshikazu broke the measuring cup and somehow burnt the spatula.
Yeah, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all.
“I'm never cooking again” were his final words.
On that night she prayed that her son would find someone good at cooking, otherwise he was going to starve or burn his place.
A good habit they were able to keep after Yoshikazu started school was always starting the day together eating breakfast. Sometimes joining dinner was difficult for her husband, but at least they could have that little time as family. And something that she considered a great success as a mom was the good communication they achieved with their son.
“Yesterday at school, Makimura was…”
It was during his middle school years when that girl's name was a constant in every conversation.
Well, it was a normal thing, he was making new friends, but she had never seen him so close to a girl before. Would it be…?
“Yoshi-kun”
“Yes?”
“Do you like this girl? Makimura-chan?”
As if his brain had stopped working, he didn't move, staring at her with surprise.
“Eh?” he replied in a pitched voice.
“Hahaha I have been thinking the same as mom”
Yoshikazu stared now at his dad, his face turning red with the allegations. “I… I don't know, she is just a friend?”
“Well, it is normal for boys your age to start liking other girls! I'm happy for you Yoshi-kun”
“Ehhh, do I…?” he looked so confused, oh well, maybe he never considered those feelings before, the first crush was always a confusing one and probably they just made him think about his feelings for the first time.
Things continued like normal, or so they seemed. She subtly noticed how his son would talk less and less about school, and suddenly that girl’s name totally disappeared from his conversations. Yoshi-kun never told him anything about it, so she just hoped she didn't break his son's heart.
Time came for him to choose a high school and she was a bit surprised by his choice.
“An all-boys school?” There were definitely other options closer to their home, but it seemed it was a good school. “Are you sure Yoshi-kun?”
“The teacher told me it is good, and also that it can help me to apply to good universities in the future! It also has a lot of clubs and their cultural festival this year was really good.”
“Well, it is a good option. if it's what you want, then it should be fine”
And it really was, but she just feared that her son was trying to run away from something.
She didn't find out about it until days later, with just the two of them having dinner, when he asked.
“Mom, can I let my hair grow a bit longer?”
It wasn’t a weird question at all, but the way he said it was off.
“Of course! Want to try a new look for high school?”
“Yeah…”
Something was definitely off, but trying to give him the time he needed, she decided to not mention anything.
“Do you have any look in mind?” she asked, not wanting to pressure him.
“Umh, do you think I would look good if I let my bangs grow?”
“Aw, but that would only hide your cute face!” she said with a smile, but the face he made was full of discomfort.
Seemed like she hit the jackpot.
“What’s wrong Yoshi-kun?”
He looked down, avoiding looking at her, something he only does when he is having problems sorting his feelings, because just as his dad taught him, he would always look people in the eyes.
“Is just… I don't really like that people always keep saying how cute my face is. Girls at school always say it on my back… so some of my classmates said that maybe if I let my hair grow… ”
Oh, so that was it.
Teenagers could say really cruel things sometimes. She knows her son has a cute face, it was still round, with big eyes and some of his kid features were still present, a normal thing considering he was from the youngest of his school year. They were in that stage where in one year a lot of differences were happening to their bodies, but she knew one day he would grow into a handsome man.
Still, she hated the idea of her son feeling uncomfortable with his body, enough that he preferred to hide it.
“Yoshi-kun, you can let your hair grow if that helps you, but never let other people's words made you feel uncomfortable with your body or face”
He kept looking down, so she tried to give him another solution.
“Have you tried telling people you don't like it when they made those comments?”
“Wouldn't that make things weird?”
“Sometimes people say things not knowing how much they hurt us, but maybe if you tell them, they would stop”
“And what if they don’t stop?”
“Then you don’t need them in your life”
She never moved her eyes from him, seeing him struggling first but then nodding his head he agreed.
“Okay, I’m going to try that.”
Since that day she wished her Yoshi-kun, somehow, would feel better with himself in the future.
Once in high school more things started to happen. At first, his son wouldn’t say much about his classmates, but he would talk a lot about his senpais from the disciplinary committee.
“Hirano-senpai told me that…”
“Today, Hanzawa-senpai”
It was a really good thing how he was looking up to his upper classmates, and they seemed like really good students. He looked happy in this new school, and this time not more people were making fun of his face.
After summer more names started to appear on his daily conversations. Kuresawa-kun, a classmate that loved to talk about his girlfriend. Tashiro-kun seemed fun, someone who would always find a way to eat a snack in the classroom, and of course the senpais from before were still a constant.
But one day she heard a new name.
Sasaki-senpai
Miyano would talk more and more about him, but she couldn’t really connect the dots of how he met him. Was this senpai also in the disciplinary committee? No. He wasn’t from the literature club either, but Yoshikazu would talk about how they shared a new manga, how the time in the train seemed so short when they met there, and then how they would take the train back home too.
It was so constant that whenever he only said ‘senpai’ she knew he was talking about him. This Sasaki-kun must be someone good for her son if it always made him smile whenever he talked about him.
Then it happened.
As her favorite show was ending, Yoshikazu got out of his room and asked her if it was okay to use the kitchen to make some chocolate with someone. She was more impressed about hearing her son wanting to use the kitchen again than the idea of him making chocolates for someone on Valentine’s day.
“So you two boys are going to make chocolates together, hm? I’ve seen that some boys are giving chocolates on valentine’s day lately. I think that’s lovely, make some for me too while you are at it” she smiled, starting to pick up the jelly she was eating before.
“Th-The person I’m going to give mine to… is another boy”
It took her some seconds to react, she was surprised, but then everything clicked in her brain.
“I see! Well, let me meet him sometime!”
Hearing him explaining how he felt about this special someone, and hearing it was a senpai she has her suspicious of who he was.
“Why don’t you ask him to stay for dinner? Is there anything he doesn’t eat?”
“I’ll ask him”
Moving to the kitchen, she was smiling, because love was beautiful, and she felt so happy about her Yoshi-kun finding someone to love. More if it was this special senpai that made him smile so much.
“I’m so glad you are my mom”
“Aw! What was that? You are going to make me cry!” and she meant it, because hearing those words made that moment even more special for her.
And just as she suspected, this famous Sasaki-kun was the special one. A tall and handsome boy, who looked at Yoshikazu with so much adoration, but more importantly, was so good at cooking.
They both were too young to even think about a wedding, but seemed like one of her prayers was answered.
Later, when it was time for Yoshikazu to get ready for entrance exams, he came to her with a totally new question.
“Can I have a part-time job?”
She was going to say no, but after hearing his reasons and talking with her husband they agreed to it with the condition that it was going to be until summer. Yoshikazu never had a job before, and she was just a little bit scared it would be too rough for him, but instead she saw him trying his best.
All to give his loved one a special date.
Sasaki was so special to him, and he admired him so much that he would always try more and more to do things better. As if a godmother heard that wish of hers years ago.
June 17th came, and his son was trying to leave the house with a hoodie and a hat.
Oh no, not this time.
She quickly ran towards him and started to help him with his outfit. Then, his fluffy hair.
“Mom! I’m going to be late”
“You still have enough time left, and if you keep moving I’m going to ruin your hair. Now stay still while I put this hair clips”
“Okay…”
As she was taking some of his bangs out of his face, she remembered that boyish face still present some years ago and how indeed he was turning into a beautiful man. A man that felt more comfortable with his features, enough that was letting her help him.
Her heart felt so overwhelmed with emotions, remembering that other wish she did some years ago. Seemed like he just need some help from this special person to feel better with himself.
Miyano Yuki couldn’t be happier.
As she saw her son rushing to the train station to meet his boyfriend on time she smiled. She remembered that baby boy in her arms, then the little boy so scared to go to school and how he turned into a dedicated and brave man.
But still so adorable.
Whatever it was in the future for him, she knew he was going to be okay.
This time, she wished that Sasaki-kun would continue at his side, helping each other during all their lives.
And she hoped and prayed that wish would come true.