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The Super Bowl is a big deal, ok. It just is. It doesn’t matter that Steve and Bucky don’t understand the history behind it and that they can’t fathom that more people watch it than the World Series. The Super Bowl is an all-day event of drinking and pigging out and shouting at the TV.
And since Thor brings them mead from Asgard, do they ever drink.
The next morning is one of the worst hangovers Tony has ever had in his life, and he’s got a lot of experience there. He should have just stuck to the nice, normal earth swill. That Asgardian stuff was enough to get Thor and Steve trashed.
Tony’s really not sure what actually makes him stumble his way out of bed. He doesn’t need to. Pepper knew better than to schedule him any meetings today. It’s some kind of miracle that gets him down to the kitchen, and it’s a straight gift from God’s own hands that Clint had beaten Tony down there and already has the coffee pot going.
Clint is leaning against the counter, his eyes bleary and unfocused. He’s swaying a little bit as he sips at his coffee. Tony crawls past him, fumbling at the coffee pot until he manages to extract the entire thing. Who needs a mug? Mugs are for suckers.
Natasha is the next person to come down. Tony and Clint glare at her, because she makes a beeline for the refrigerator, grabs a bottle of water, gulps it down, and turns to them with a mockingly cheerful smile as she says, “Morning.”
“You are evil,” Tony tries to hiss, but it comes out in a garble. Natasha understands the sentiment though, because that horrifyingly creepy smile stretches.
Steve and Bucky are next. They stumble into the kitchen supporting each other. Bucky drops Steve off at the island counter, and the super soldier sits there, blinking and rubbing at his eyes. Bucky heads for the refrigerator, Natasha backing out of his way. He’s half buried in the appliance, shifting things around noisily and not caring at all about the hisses he’s receiving. Finally, he pulls out a foiled up hunk of leftover chicken. He moves to the sink and proceeds to just devour it. While he’s all but sucking on the bones, Steve suddenly whines, “Tony,” and he makes grabby hands.
“What,” Tony mumbles. Steve just rubs at his eyes, and Tony pats down his pockets—because he’s still in his clothes from yesterday—until he finds his sunglasses. He hands them off to Steve, who slips them on and drops his face down to the cool granite and falls silent.
When Thor makes his appearance, like Bucky and Natasha, he goes straight for the refrigerator. He pulls out a tub of Cool Whip and then fishes a straw from the pantry. He sits by Steve’s prone form, a pleasant smile on his face as soon as he starts sucking down the bucket’s contents.
By this point Clint is awake enough that he’s muttering under his breath about French fries, and Tony has started up another pot of coffee. He’s in the freezer looking for the blueberry Eggos while it brews. Bucky has tossed the empty foil away and turns on the stovetop. Natasha hovers at his side, watching as he starts to make a gravy.
Bruce is the last of them to come down. He goes for the refrigerator and starts to rummage. Aside from Steve—who is probably passed out again—everyone watches tensely. Bruce makes a grumble, and Tony, the closest to him, gets ready to dive out of the way. But then Bruce emerges from the fridge with a fresh package of bacon with a sticky note that reads in large, bold letters “Bruce’s hangover bacon. DO NOT TOUCH UNLESS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR AN EASY SUICIDE OUT.”
Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as Bruce sets to cooking the entire package of bacon.
While Clint is trying to coerce Natasha to take him to a McDonald’s, Bucky spoons up all the gravy into a bowl, swipes the Eggos that Tony has been so painstakingly toasting, and brings them over to Steve. “Hey, pal, wake up,” he says, nudging Steve’s shoulder. “Gravy.”
And Steve pulls himself up just enough to start dipping the waffles into the gravy and shoving it into his mouth. Tony makes a face but also makes a metal note to get a still of this from JARVIS so he can change the photo of Steve in his phone.
The morning ends with Clint throwing himself on Natasha’s feet, loudly wailing that if he doesn’t get an A1 Thick and Hearty soon he’s going to die. “Then you’re going to die,” Natasha says. “I’m not flying you to Texas.”