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English
Series:
Part 8 of Conversations on Love
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Published:
2015-12-31
Words:
2,036
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
24
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648

Jealous Love

Summary:

The emotion responsible for the most epiphanies about love.

Notes:

Originally posted February 2010.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Do you think jealousy is a sign of how much you love someone?”

“Why would you say that? Have you been watching those dramas again Junsu?”

“…maybe. It’s just that jealousy seems to be one of the key emotions that signify when one character likes another character. Like the main guy never realizes he’s in love with the girl character until a love rival appears and gets friendly with the girl. And all of the sudden he has an epiphany that he’s in love, just because he was jealous. It just seems…I don’t know…” Junsu trails off, unsure of what he’s asking in the first place.

Yoochun chuckles, “Are you asking because you’re getting jealous of someone?”

“Nothing like that! It’s just that, if you like someone, shouldn’t you just go for them? So there’s no need to be jealous.”

“That’s assuming that the two are already together. If everyone’s single, it’s a free for all. At that time, I think it’s normal to feel jealousy if your crush treats someone better than you think they are treating you.”

“I suppose so, but after they become a couple, then there’s no need to feel jealousy.”

“That’s not necessarily true.” Yoochun’s lips quirk into a small smile.

“Eh? But you already got the girl, why would you continue to feel jealous?” Junsu’s genuinely puzzled.

“Well, suppose your girlfriend spends a lot of time with one of her guy friends. You would want her attention to be on you and not on another guy.”

“But then you should trust your girlfriend and not jump to conclusions. Besides, if she really does start to like someone else, wouldn’t it be better to let her go?”

“Junsu-yah, you’re too kind. Not many people would be able to do that, just like most people would feel jealousy at that kind of situation.”

“So you’re saying you would go fight the other guy to make him stay away from your girl?” Junsu’s surprised at Yoochun’s answer, since the other seems like the non-confrontational type.

“No, I’d let her go. I’m just saying that even in that type of situation, I’d feel jealous. But I wouldn’t act on that jealousy in a bad way. I’d probably try to do something to attract her attention again.”

“So jealousy is a sign of love then?”

“I think so. It’s just how you deal with it that’s different for everyone. It’s not always a bad thing to feel jealousy, but it’s when it causes a person to be destructive that it’s a bad thing.”

Junsu frowns, “No, it’s not always a bad thing. I guess it’s just that I see the way that hyung-deul act and can’t help but wonder.”

“Wonder what?” Changmin walks into the living room with a bag of chips.

“Junsu’s wondering about jealousy being indicative of love in the case of our lovely hyung-deul.”

“Oh, that’s easy. In both cases, yes.” another crunch sounds from Changmin’s lips.

“How can you tell? I mean sometimes it’s obvious, but other times I can’t see it at all. That’s why I was wondering about it.”

“Really? I think it’s always obvious around the two of them; then again, it might be because I’m stuck between the two of them all the time, so I’m more attuned to reading their moods.”

“Junsu-yah, you just need to watch carefully. It’s sometimes not as obvious as you’d think.” and with that comment, Yoochun stretches and walks over to the kitchen searching for snacks (since Changmin isn’t the sharing type).

 

 

“Jaejoong-hyung, you’re going out with Hyunjoong again?” Junsu says in a louder than normal voice, trying to gauge Yunho’s reaction.

“Yeah, we haven’t seen each other in a long time! We even got Seunghyun to come this time too. Yoochun-ah, are you almost done?”

“Almost hyung, have you seen my hat?” Yoochun yells back from his bedroom.

Junsu looks over at Yunho, who is still typing away at his laptop without any indication of jealousy in his body language.

“Forget about the hat; just comb your bangs over your forehead if you’re so worried. Besides, who are you trying to impress?” Jaejoong hollers back and pulls his jacket out from the closet. He then makes his way over to Yunho, “Are you sure you don’t want to come? It’ll be fun!”

Yunho pecks Jaejoong on the nose, “No, it’s all right. I don’t think my liver can handle the way you guys drink.”

“Well, if you change your mind, call me. I think we might be out for awhile, since we have lots to catch up on.” with a final chaste kiss, Jaejoong and Yoochun leave the others for the night.

Junsu pokes Changmin in the ribs, “I didn’t see anything going on there.”

“That’s because there wasn’t.”

“But you said—”

“I said it was there, not it was always there. Yunho-hyung doesn’t get jealous when Jaejoong goes out with close friends. He figures if they had more than friendship, something would have happened a long time ago. He trusts Jaejoong-hyung, so no jealousy.”

“That’s what I was saying the whole time!”

“No one said you were wrong either.” Changmin leaves before he needs to explain more to Junsu.

 

 

“Jaejoong-ah,” Yunho coos into the phone an hour later, “no, everything’s fine. I’m just calling to tell you that I’m going out with some friends.”

Junsu looks up from his video game and tries to inconspicuously eavesdrop on the one-sided conversation.

“Yeah, some of my high school friends are in Seoul. I figured they’re rarely here, so I should go out with them.” Yunho laughs at something Jaejoong says. “No I wouldn’t want to disrupt your alcoholic tendencies with your buddies.”

Changmin walks over to Junsu, startling the eavesdropper. “Watch closely now, it’s starting.”

“Do you really want to meet them?” a pause “All right then. I’ll see you there in a bit.” a smile “Yes, yes, I’ll be the driver. I don’t want to drink anyway.” another pause “Ok, Boojae, I’ll see you soon.”

Yunho makes a few calls to his friends and goes back to his bedroom to get ready.

“You see, that’s how it works in hyung-deul’s relationship.”

“…what? Nothing happened!” Junsu asks exasperatedly.

Changmin sighs, “Jaejoong-hyung just made Yunho-hyung meet up with him with his friends instead of just having Yunho-hyung go out by himself.” He looks at Junsu, expecting the other to understand the situation.

“I know that! He wanted to meet Yunho-hyung’s friends.” Junsu replies indignantly.

The maknae shakes his head, “No, he was jealous that Yunho-hyung was meeting up with his old high school friends. That’s why he wanted Yunho-hyung to join him.”

“But that doesn’t make sense, Yunho-hyung trusts Jaejoong-hyung to meet with his friends. Why wouldn’t Jaejoong-hyung do the same?”

“I’m not that sure, but I have a theory.”

“Which means you’ve figured it out already. Just tell me!”

Before Changmin can respond, Yunho walks out of his room dressed nicely. “I’m going out, be good, don’t burn the apartment down.” and he walks out of the door. By the time Junsu turns back to Changmin, the maknae has already escaped to his room.

 

 

The next day, Yunho leaves earlier than the others to meet with their new backup dancers. He lets the others sleep in, knowing the drinkers needed some more time to recover from the previous night. When the others finally joined him hours later, Yunho was already laughing with them like old friends.

“Yunho-hyung always makes friends so easily,” Junsu states once they’ve all been introduced.

“Yeah, Yunho is nice and considerate; of course he makes friends easily.” Jaejoong replies, proudly bragging about his (boy)friend. “He’s also very attractive and so cute, who can resist?”

“Aren’t you jealous at all?” Junsu’s a bit taken aback by Jaejoong’s cheerful attitude.

“Why should I be? It’s not like I don’t make friends.” and with that, Jaejoong walks over to where Yunho’s talking to one of the dancers and joins in their conversation.

“Ok, I don’t get it. Jaejoong-hyung gets jealous when Yunho-hyung hangs out with his friends, but isn’t when he makes new friends? What the heck is that?” He turns and looks at Yoochun and Changmin for an explanation.

“Just watch, it’s starting again.” Junsu turns once again to watch his hyung-deul talking to a couple of dancers. Nothing seems unusual until Junsu notices that Yunho’s hand is flirting close to the small of Jaejoong’s back. As soon as contact is made, the hand is retracted again.

Junsu furrows his brows in confusion and continues to watch the pair. Someone makes a joke and the group is laughing. Jaejoong’s hands are covering his mouth while Yunho has thrown an arm around his shoulders, moving him closer. The arm remains there even after everyone’s stopped laughing.

Yoochun and Changmin share a laugh as Junsu’s eyes widen in realization. “You mean Yunho-hyung’s jealous?! Why? I thought he was fine with Jaejoong hanging out with friends.”

“Junsu-yah, Yunho-hyung is completely fine with Jaejoongie going out with old friends, but he’s more cautious when it comes to Jaejoong-hyung making new friends.” Yoochun chuckles.

“Yeah, Yunho-hyung must be under constant stress too, seeing how easily Jaejoong-hyung makes friends. No wonder he constantly has gastric pains.” Changmin shakes his head in pity.

“You mean he really has gastritis? I thought he was just being cute so Jaejoong would pamper him.”

“That’s just a perk; he really does suffer from Jaejoong’s universal gravitational attraction though.”

“Wait, wait. Hyung-deul don’t make sense at all. They get jealous, but don’t get jealous at practically the same thing! Aish, this is giving me a headache.”

“That’s love Junsu-yah. No rhyme or reason, it just is.” Yoochun smiles at the frustrated Junsu.

“Actually, I think it makes perfect sense for the pair of them.”

“Right, your theory. Just tell me!” Junsu’s bordering desperation at this point, trying to figure out the dynamics of their hyung-deul.

“Jaejoong-hyung gets jealous whenever Yunho-hyung hangs out with his old friends, because he feels threatened.”

“But that’s ridiculous!”

“Well, considering Jaejoong-hyung wasn’t in love with Yunho-hyung until much later, he probably sees his situation similar to that of Yunho-hyung’s old friends. If he fell in love with Yunho-hyung after knowing him for such a long time, it’s hard to say none of his friends won’t be the same.”

“But Yunho-hyung wouldn’t like them back. Not after he already has Jaejoong-hyung.”

“Yeah, but jealousy isn’t rational like that. Besides, it’s always good to know your prospective rivals, even if they aren’t exactly competition yet.”

“I guess that makes some sense. Then what about Yunho-hyung?”

“Yunho-hyung’s even easier to explain. He fell in love at first sight.”

“Yeah, I knew that.”

“You knew?” Yoochun’s astonished at Junsu’s revelation.

“It was very obvious. I mean, I’ve known him the longest out of all of us, so I knew he looked at Jaejoong-hyung differently than the rest of us. My question is how you two knew.”

Changmin shrugs, “He told me once when he thought I was sleep talking.”

“You mean you’re awake when you’re sleep talking sometimes?” Yoochun exclaims.

“Not really, I just sometimes remember things.”

“How about you?” Junsu asks Yoochun.

“I was using hyung’s laptop once and saw his journal when he forgot to close the window.”

“Anyway, Yunho-hyung fell in love at first sight, so he views his competition as everyone that makes a connection with Jaejoong-hyung the first time they meet; which is also why Yunho-hyung is under much more stress than Jaejoong-hyung.”

The three turn when they hear some cheers and yelling from the dancers. It appears Yunho and the dancers are showing some of their best moves. Jaejoong is cheering and clapping in amazement at the moves since he doesn’t have the grace to pull them off. They exchange more moves before teaching each other the techniques.

Jaejoong tries some of the moves, only to trip over his own feet. Yunho quickly pulls the falling man into his arms before Jaejoong can land on the floor. They spend the rest of the time in that position until the three remaining members join in the exchange. Laughter explodes out of the room when Junsu challenges everyone to a body roll competition.

Notes:

feel free to share your opinions on this subject.

so yunjae don't really have a conversation this time, but i figured yoosumin needed some attention for being cast aside for so many previous stories.

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