Work Text:
The light breeze in the courtyard stirred, causing Rin to shudder. She kneeled on the stone floor with a stack of textbooks on her arms, which felt like holding fifty times its actual weight after four long hours of holding them. Her knees were burning and her arms were at the brink of giving up. It was torture without any blood spilled.
“It’s all your fucking fault,” Rin said under her breath, glaring at Nezha, who was also holding a stack of textbooks beside her.
Damaging books and scrolls from the library was something not to be taken lightly in Sinegard Academy for obvious reasons, so students took care of the borrowed books and scrolls attentively.
…Most students, anyway.
If the academy had a contest for damaging things from the library in the worst way possible, the winners would be Fang Runin and Yin Nezha—and they would be the only ones participating.
It was a somewhat predictable series of events; as usual, Rin and Nezha had a squabble. It ended with a scroll ripped into two halves, thanks to Rin’s stubbornness. Nezha offered to help her remove the evidence; by burning the scroll, then throwing the ashes to a stream nearby. But before they could do that, they were reported by some first-year student who apparently witnessed what had occurred. The worst part was that their deeds were reported to Jun Loran.
Still, Rin and Nezha weren't surprised that they were caught. A missing scroll in the archives would be noticed at some point, and they both knew that well. Even so, they took the chance to try hiding their “crime”.
“I helped you to get a less severe penalty,” Nezha responded, “and aren't you the one who tore the scroll?”
“...” Rin had no reply to that. She didn't really blame Nezha anyway—she was well aware of her actions. She just spoke from rage and exhaustion. She leaned over to one side, struggling to keep it up. She could stop, since no one was really watching them. But she didn't want to show weakness, especially in front of Nezha.
But the pain was unbearable . Her arms were far from just being sore, she was in pain ; it was as if her legs were going to break any minute. Despite that, she'll keep fighting it. Besides, if Nezha could do it, Rin could do it too.
Right?
…The stack of books on Nezha's arms fell and he fell himself. His face fell flat on the cold pavement as he groaned. He just stayed there for a moment, laying there pathetically.
Rin stifled a laugh, biting her lower lip and turning her head away. She was shaking, trying not to make a noise. The mere sight of Nezha, the second son of the Dragon Warlord , a member of the House of Yin , and the favorite student of the Combat Master, on the stone floor, defeated by carrying a bunch of books while on his knees.
And he was always supposed to be the stronger one. Based on physical appearance, anyway.
Eventually, Rin snorted, trembling in place. Her face might be red from trying so hard to keep it in. The urge to laugh was empowering her.
Nezha sat up and glanced at Rin for a moment. He looked away and scoffed, “Just laugh already.”
“No-” Rin muttered, her voice having a trace of amusement- “it’s rude-”
But Rin never really cared for that, did she?
Rin let her explosive laughter out, falling on the ground along with the books she was carrying. Her knees and arms felt relief as she laughed, slapping the ground. She never laughed so hard in a while.
**
The two of them sat on a stone bench, looking at the tree in front of them, waiting until their penalty time was over. There were still 20 or so minutes left.
“You have burn marks on your arms?” Nezha asked, his eyes on Rin’s arms. She didn’t realize her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows.
Rin had almost forgotten she had those scars, she hadn’t burned herself in a long time. Some of those burn scars were from before she took the Keju; thinking about them made her feel somewhat nostalgic. But that was… strange . Why did Nezha ask?
Rin simply nodded to Nezha’s question, not really overthinking her answer right now.
“Since when?” Nezha inquired more. It already surprised Rin that he even noticed, and it surprised her even more that he was curious to know more about them.
It was strange of him to care.
“Since before I came to Sinegard,” Rin responded.
“I never noticed.”
“Well, I’m surprised you even cared to notice.”
Rin turned her head to Nezha, who had a bewildered expression. Besides his bewilderment, there was something in Nezha's brown, ethereal eyes that Rin couldn't comprehend.
“What?” She asked, “I thought you hated me, especially after I beat you during the Tournament.”
“I don't hate you enough to disregard your health entirely, Rin. I know I'm an asshole but I wouldn't think like that about you,” Nezha explained, defending himself.
“Wow,” Rin laughed without smiling. “Are you really Yin Nezha? Maybe you're a ghost that possessed Nezha?”
“I’m not that horrible.”
“Says the guy that beat my ass in front of Jun—which caused me to be banned from practice facilities,” Rin said as she furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms, “are you sure you're not horrible?”
“You beat me up twice before that.”
“Whatever,” Rin shrugged. “Why do you even care? Actually, why did you help me with the scroll when we both know I was at fault?”
“I ripped the scroll too. I’m responsible too.”
“You could have pinned the blame on me.”
“But I didn't-”
“But why ?”
Nezha sighed and stood up, “You’re making it seem like I don't care for you.”
Rin scoffed, “As if you do.”
“I do .”
“And why is that?” Rin stood up, “Why would you care about a lowly peasant from the south? You made me think—no , you made it crystal clear that I was just a piece of dross who didn't deserve to breathe in Sinegard.”
“I was afraid of you, Rin! And-”
“Fine! Let's say you are afraid of me. That doesn't explain why you care. Since when did you care for me anyway?”
Nezha stood up and held Rin by her shoulders, almost shaking her body as he said, “I don't know! I don't know since when—nor do I care why! Can't you just accept it?”
Rin gripped Nezha's wrists and pulled his hands away, “I can't just accept a baseless reason after you made my life in Sinegard a living hell! I need shit to make sense!”
“I can't explain when I can't make sense of it either!”
Rin didn't speak, only looking at Nezha. But it wasn't a simple observation of his eyes, lips and cheeks, it was admiration. She was admiring his lovely face. But she immediately stopped after realizing that she was staring.
Nezha's behavior was confusing and she wanted clear answers. Was he manipulating her? Was he dared to do this?—no, asking herself these questions would be no use. He had to tell her himself.
“Why can't you make sense of it? Why is it hard?” Rin was desperate to know at this point. She sounded mad, but her voice almost cracked, “It shouldn't be that hard! It’s either you hate me or you don't!”
Rin was scared. Terrified, even. But she didn't show it. She tried her best to look cold and uncaring but she felt the opposite. She cared about what Nezha felt about her; if she knew about what he felt, maybe those cryptic feelings that bubbled in her stomach would make more sense. But if Nezha thought differently, then she would've been embarrassed. Humiliated, even.
But she already is embarrassed right now. She would prefer to be stripped naked for a whole day in the academy instead of possibly finding out that she's been chasing this stupid, unknown feeling alone.
Rin frowned at the lack of response and stopped holding Nezha’s wrists, “Look, I-”
“It’s because I find it hard that I'm in love with you.”
Rin's lips parted in shock, taking in exactly 3 seconds to process what she just heard.
What… the fuck? What the fuck?? Rin thought, He finds it hard that he's- what????
Rin’s heart dropped for a moment, only for it to beat faster. Nezha's words echoed in her head over and over again. “What ???”
“I don't know!” Nezha moved away, pacing back and forth before stopping and sighing deeply, “Why did you have to make this hard for me?”
“Why are you blaming me? I didn't ask for you to-”
“Are you saying you don't want me to love you?”
Rin's cheeks reddened, “Yes!- Wait, what? No! I mean, no. No- I mean-” She groaned miserably and crouched down, putting her forehead against her knees.
Rin wanted to die. This was a good outcome, perhaps even the best outcome she could ever ask for, but she was a flustered disaster. She didn't know how to handle situations like these. She never thought she needed to. After all, being in the military didn't mean she would find love, nor did she need love anyway.
“Is it really true?” Rin looked up at Nezha.
Nezha just nodded.
“Why?”
“I don't know…”
“Come on, Nezha,” Rin stood up, “there must be some reason why you decided to have feelings for me.”
“I didn't want to. If I did have control, I wouldn't have chosen you out of all people.”
Rin frowned at Nezha, who blinked multiple times before shaking his head, “No, no. That's not what I meant. I’m sorry.”
Sighing, Rin fiddled with her hands, not knowing what else to say. She sat back down on the stone bench and patted the space beside her, “So? What do you like about me?”
“Your… laugh, your smile, your…” Nezha trailed off, his voice filled with hesitation. He sat down beside Rin and there was a large gap between them on the bench. “... You. I feel something for you and… I think- I feel that it’s love.”
Rin just noticed that Nezha was avoiding her eyes. A hint of pink was apparent on his pretty face, and Rin had to admit that was an adorable sight to see. She wished that she seemed like that. But she must’ve looked like a mess right now.
“You-” Rin bit her lip and then sighed, “you’re serious? You're actually in love with me? You're not joking, right? No one in class put you up to this?”
“Tiger’s tits, Rin. No one would ever ask me to say this to you as a prank. Everyone knows that we hate each other's guts,” Nezha said with disappointment.
“But that’s why I'm asking if you're lying or not. You hate me, I hate you, and we've been at each other's throats ever since we both stepped into the academy, so how come you feel this way towards me?”
“Listen, Rin,” Nezha took Rin’s hands and put them in his, “I never asked for this. I never expected this either. Do you know how many times I fought with myself, trying to figure out how the hell I started liking the girl I vowed to kill and expected to hate until I die?”
Didn't have to say it like that but okay. Rin thought.
Rin kept listening, her heart ringing in her ears. “I spent weeks—probably months, trying to understand, and I still can't understand. So I just accepted that I have feelings for you because that's the truth of things.”
“I would never lie to you, Rin. Even if I hated you. I have nothing to gain from lying to you,” Nezha whispered, “I’d only lose you if I lied. And I don't want that.”
Rin had to process that into her brain, baffled by his words. Her expression, at least she hoped, was stoic, but her face was almost the same shade as the poppy flowers growing in the courtyard.
“Are you sure about this?” said Rin.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” Nezha squeezed her hands, looking down before shifting his gaze to hers. “Does this mean you love me too?”
Rin pulled her hands away, as if angry. But really, she was just embarrassed to admit it herself. She had respect for Nezha to be brave enough to tell her about his feelings. “Don’t assume that.”
“That’s not a no, Rin.”
Rin sighed, “I have feelings for you that I can't explain, that's all I can say.”
“All you can say or all you choose to say?” Nezha smiled smugly, crossing his arms.
“Shut up,” Rin moved her hand to smack Nezha’s arm, but he simply dodged, standing up from the seat.
“I tell you I love you and you can't hit me properly anymore?” Nezha snickered. Rin stood up and tried to hit Nezha again, but he dodged it again.
“And you’re still an annoying prick after you say that you love me!” Rin aimed her foot to Nezha’s groin and hit hard.
Nezha cursed and fell to his knees, “Fuck, okay- ” he said in a strained voice, dropping on the floor, holding his crotch- “I’m sorry . I really am.”
“You deserved that,” Rin crossed her arms.
“I know,” Nezha muttered, glancing at her, then looking back at the floor, “I know…”
Rin put her hand out, helping Nezha up, “Did I kick you that hard?”
“Your kicks hurt like hell, you know,” Nezha said as he stood up. “We should get out of here. It doesn't look like Jun will check on us, so let's just go.”
Rin nodded, “Sounds fine. After all of that kneeling, we're probably gonna walk like a couple of old people.”
“Us? A couple?”
“You’re not funny.”
“I wasn't trying to,” Nezha shrugged. “What now?”
“What do you mean?” Rin raised her eyebrow.
“I mean us, what now?” Nezha clarified.
Rin didn't really know what to say. He loves her, she loves him, but she didn't really know—or she was afraid to—label it as an official relationship.
“I don't know about relationships,” Rin shrugged, “don’t let me decide. What do you think?”
“I think we'll just have to see where we'll end up,” Nezha took his stack of books from earlier, “is that okay?”
“I’m okay with that,” Rin nodded, taking her stack of books.
Rin started looking back to all that just occurred. Even until now, she still couldn't believe how the simple act of ripping a scroll led to her and Nezha confessing to each other. What are the chances of that?
Rin sighed to herself and thought, I wonder how Kitay will react to this…