Chapter Text
Starkiller base had been defeated, and the survivors of the fight were following the Millennium Falcon back to the base on Q’Dar for a celebration. There were crowds waiting for them, excited to welcome them back home. The Falcon landed first, then Poe and those left of Black Squadron. The very excited ‘Best Pilot in the Resistance’ leapt from the cock pit and ran to greet those who had gathered. The remaining squadron members followed not long after, cheers bursting from the resistance members as they came. However, not many people noticed the last ones to leave their ship. The only one at first to notice this was Leia, who was waiting for Han to come down the landing ramp of the Falcon, fully knowing he won’t, hoping she was wrong. The person who did come down the ramp was a girl Leia had only heard about, but not yet seen. But the solemn embrace they shared made it feel like they’ve known each other for lifetimes, and shared the same heartache.
Poe on the other hand had left himself get swept up in the praise of others, and drifted in the ebb and flow of happy people. It took him a moment to realize the faces he was looking were not there. A sudden sickly coldness dropped into his stomach. Where were Finn and the others? Why were they not by his side celebrating as well? He turned and forced his way back through the crowd, giving quick nods and smiles to those who cheered for him along the way. Once loose of the clapping hands and moving bodies he broke away running toward the cargo freighter. What he noticed was that the original crew had gained Rey but lost Han. And being carried down the ramp in the arms of a wookie was.
“Finn!” Poe’s voiced rasped out louder than he intended, his feet carried him forward clumsily. As he got closer he could smell singed fabric and flesh. Rey moved to stop him from colliding with Chewie. “No, god, let me see.” Poe tried to push through her but she was stronger than she looked.
Leia moved Poe’s side as well. Her hand both gentle and commanding held on to Poe’s shoulder. He tensed and glanced back at her. The expression on his general’s face was calm, but her eyes were drenched in sorrow.
“He needs to be taken to med bay, quickly.” She told Poe, though she spoke to the entire small group standing around her. A guttural growl of acknowledgement came from Chewie and he wasted no time in walking away from the ship toward the inside of the base; he was met half way by a gurney. Rey had called in the help from medbay just before landing.
The pilot moved to go after them, but Leia did not let up from his shoulder. “No. Let the medical team see him, let him be for now.” Poe wasn’t looking at Leia, but past her, watching Rey oversee Finn being taken away. Noticing eyes on her, Rey turned her head to glance at him. This must have been the man Finn had talked about, the one he landed on Jakku with. His only other friend. The man’s face seemed twisted and unsure, but in almost another instant it was like a mask had settled over him. It was as if he was giving in for the moment. Some reason teetering into him.
“Yeah… Yeah okay.” He mumbled. Leia loosened her hand and dropped it by her side. Poe looked to his general and remembered himself a bit more before ducking his head, partially ashamed at also not recognizing her pain as well. She had lost her husband, and possibly more. She shouldn’t be here trying to comfort him over his friend, but her finding a way to…. His mouth opened to say something, eyes down cast a moment before she just gave him and nudge.
“Go, celebrate. It’s hard but the moral boost will be good. When he’s okay to be seen, I’ll have staff come find you both.” Leia urged them along. Poe took a moment, and his lips twitched up in to a half grin, a bit forced, but it was a start. Rey, not one for much touch or consoling, did take the pilot by the wrist and smiled before walking with him back to the people still cheering on the landing bay. Leia watched for a moment and turned to look at the Falcon. This ship held more memories than anything else she had. Chewie had come back to her side before they both walked into the ship for a moment away.
Rey hadn’t been to a celebration before and it amused Poe to watch her ease into interacting with people. Everyone asked how she escaped and what happened on the planet and she did he best to tell the tale about how she used the force to escape. How Han, Chewie and Finn had come to find her. How Han died, and how Finn did his best to protect her. About the battle with Kylo Ren. The crowd had hooted and hollered in the beginning but as the story grew to a grimmer close they all made a toast to those who had lost their lives to save many. After a few somber moments someone started up some music and people warmed up to celebrating again.
Poe, though, now understood more about the shape Finn was in, and it made him itch to get to med bay. Every time he’d try to get up to leave, however, a comrade would come shove a drink in his hand and drag him back into the fray. Rey had similar interactions, though she seemed to easily refuse drinks being handed to her, caving in to maybe one or two, but nothing more. It wasn’t long though before greatest pilot in the resistance was drunk and dancing with some of the others. And for an hour or so he forgot that someone he cared about was in critical condition.
A nurse came in and found Rey, standing off to the side, watching the dwindling party and the last of the drunken fiascos. “He’s stable.” The nurse said softly to Rey. “But he’s not awake.” Rey glanced out to the fighter pilot whose energy was draining as he moved off the floor to slump onto a bench. “He’s in a coma; we’ve done what we can for now.” Poe seemed to be laughing for a moment, or was he crying. “Would you and your friend like to come see him?” Rey hesitated; she wondered about the pilot and if he was even okay to come see him. Weighing the options, she decided to give Poe at least the choice of coming.
“Let me go talk to him… and then I’ll come with you.” Rey said with a nod. The nurse glanced out to the pilot and gave a nod in return. With her attention off the nurse she moved across the room and to where Poe was slumped.
“Mister Dameron…” She started before touching his shoulder. Poe jerked back from Rey’s touch. No, not jerked, flinched. It almost was instinctive, but she tried not to think about it. Slowly Poe looked up at her, eyes weary and bleary, and it took his hazy mind a moment to fathom a reason that this jedi, or whatever she was, needed him. Then at the instance of realization he stood up, knocking back the bench some with a wild look.
“Is he…” His voice was rough and slow, his body a little unsteady, just like his words and mind.
“He’s stable but he’s not awake…” Rey took a small step back from him to give the man some room as he processed this. “He’s in a coma.” She continued when it took longer for him to put the pieces together. “But Finn is okay to be seen.”
A sick feeling settled into Poe again. Now he wasn’t sure if it was because of the news or the alcohol or both. Finn was … well he was Finn. He survived the first order, crashes, and firefights. He couldn’t be in a coma. Finn was too resilient for that. He took a step back and frowned.
“No…” Anger replaced the ill feeling he had. “No, No way. Finn’s…Finn’s stronger than that.” He said, getting louder with each word, taking a slightly agitated step towards Rey. Rey held up her hands defensively. Poe twitched slightly in reaction and then with a frustrated sound marched off shouting at anyone in his way. No, Finn just needed sleep. Finn would be fine in the morning. The lies one told their self to make things feel right.
The scavenger gave a sigh and her body sagged some before wandering back to the nurse who gave her an apologetic look. “Just me then.” Rey mumbled and rubbed at her neck. It was probably better this way, Poe wasn’t quite in a good state of mind, and she could sense it. The nurse gave Rey added information as he led her toward the med bay.
Poe was heading in the opposite direction, angry, drunk, and confused. His feet kept moving while his mind clouded over, right up until he banged his head against part of his x-wing. Curses flew from his lips as he stumbled back and fell into a sitting position on the tarmac. His hand, clammy as it was, gripped at the spot now tender from the metal kiss, and slowly staggered back up. Poe wanted to get into his ship, he wanted to fly and distract himself. However he was too disoriented to climb into the x-wing, instead he flopped himself onto the metal expanse of the carbon scored wing and stared up at the sky.
* * * *
The next day, Poe makes his way down to the med bay after finding something to help his grotesque hangover. Thoughts rattle in his head. He has a meeting with General Leia in the afternoon, everyone does. And he has to do some maintenance on his ship. He needs to stay busy, but he has time for this. The doors of the med bay open as he walks up to them and in the very first bed is Finn. Almost as still as death. The only signs of life were the gentle sound of machines in time with the slow beat of his heart.
Poe shuffled awkwardly, scuffed his shoe against the floor before running his hand back through his hair. Nervous tendencies.
“Hey Buddy.” He said to Finn, who of course couldn’t hear him, the constant beep of machinery answered him instead. Poe wasn’t sure what to do, his brow furrowed and he drew up a chair and sat down in it. This was almost too close to a viewing at a funeral. Finn was just so still, his chest ached and at the same time in made he want to run. His fingers tapped against each other and then he shifted and scooted closer.
“Heard you’re a big deal now.” Poe tried to joke, a tired wry grin on his face, he scratched at the scruff on his cheek. “Hero of the resistance...” He added with a mumble. There was a pause as his eyes scanned him for any reaction, but nothing happened. Of course not. Poe shifted anxiously. First he leaned back, leg bouncing and arms crossed, and then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. He repeated these motions a few times before, mulling over what to say. Poe eventually gave up, not wanting to look a complete fool in front of an unconscious man, and pressed his palms into his eyes as he tried to clear his mind.
The gentle shushing of the door signaled someone else had come in. Poe’s eyes, bloodshot from the night before and tired looked up to meet the bright and clear eyes of Rey. She stood by him, arms crossed as she looked over Finn.
“Sorry... about yesterday.” Poe said with a sigh. “I-”
“It’s alright.” She cut him off and gave him a small smile. Her gaze looked from him and then back to Finn. “The doctor said that if he wakes, he would recover just fine. He’ll have some back issues but resistance tech is better than that on Jakku.” Rey hoped that would give him hope. It gave her hope.
Poe though could only focus on the word IF. If he wakes up. Which means there’s a possibility he may not. Rey seemed to notice this anxious feeling about the situation and cleared her throat some.
“I came to get you for the meeting, and Leia said you haven’t left here all morning, it’s now half way into the afternoon...you need to eat something before the meeting.” Rey wasn’t one to play ‘go fetch’ but she also want to check in on Finn as well. His pilot friend didn’t seem to be taking any of this well which also worried her. Shifting slightly and she nodded toward the door. “We can come back after the meeting...”
Poe wanted to just push her to the side and stay for a while longer, but his duty to the resistance had him moving to his feet. He was sure that if Finn woke up he’d be one of the first to know, or he’d like to believe. Finn took a side trip to his room to wash up quick, clean his face look somewhat presentable, before joining Rey and the rest of the base at the mess hall. He grabbed some food to mindlessly eat and watched as the General walked to the middle of the hall. The white noise of chatter died down and seats turned and heads moved to focus on Leia. She looked better than yesterday. Put together and still commanding, Poe admired her strength and smarts.
“The destruction of the Starkiller base is a victory for the resistance. But the First Order is still out there and still just as dangerous. With the help of Poe Dameron, BB-8, Finn and Rey, we were able to complete the map to find my... To find Skywalker. Rey has agreed to go on the mission to find him and bring him home.” She announced. Leia gave Rey a smile, the mess hall gave a cheer, but Poe just gave Rey and look of uncertainty. She was leaving? Already?
“She leaves in two days, taking Chewie, R2 and the Falcon with her. In the meantime we will run border checks and scouting missions, regular business until further notice. We may do some relief runs to refugees of the planets destroyed by Starkiller. But until then take another day’s rest.” With that, the floor was open to questions. Some asked about Kylo Ren, and the Sith. Others asked about help from the senate. Poe asked nothing. He was thinking about running quick day missions. He wasn’t leaving, like Rey was, but he wasn’t one to sit still too long. Questions faded and Leia eventually moved down the rows of tables before coming to Dameron. She place a hand on his arm which drew him sharply from his thoughts. “Let’s talk.” She said, with a tone that was both gentle and urging.
His brow creased but he followed orders, even unsaid ones. Stand up and come with me, is what she had also meant. Poe stood to follow her and Rey glanced over her shoulder for a brief moment to watch them, before talking to those at the table. Leia led the pilot around the corner and further down the hall. Where was she taking him? He wondered as he glanced to those passing by. It took a couple of turns to realize where they were going
Leia turned to open the door to her office, or the room she called an office. It was really just a place where she could sit and read over things quietly and make plans away from everyone else.. The room was bare for the most part. A desk, a communications unit, and files. Two chairs and no windows. Poe followed her in and stood awkwardly by the door while she went to her chair
“Poe, I’m just going to say it quick. You’re grounded for two weeks.” Leia said looking over her files. Poe went from brooding to alarmed in a matter of seconds. Before he could retaliate Leia continued on. “You’ve been through some of the worst of this fight in just this battle alone. And I need you rested and in top shape for what’s to come. Sleep, eat, train and do what you need to, but you are not flying and you are not going on missions...” Her voice was crisp almost sharp.
“General I beg to differ I’m-”
“You’re not. I’m not. We’re not fine. But I need you, the resistance needs you to be more than fine. Grounded. Two weeks. That’s the end of it.” She said her gaze boring into him. She knew what the man had been through. Tortured, being broken, crash landing, and then getting right back into the fray. Losing part of his squadron and more. They had other pilots and fighters right now they needed him to decompress.
Poe looked like the floor had fallen from beneath him. Flying was his decompression, no, his escape. It’s what made him feel better after anything. He clenched his fists, and relaxed them and forced himself into a salute.
“Yes General.” He managed to say. Leia looked relieved. She knew that, for the most part, he’d do what she asked.
“Dismissed.”
Poe walked out of the office and went right to the training facility to work out some aggression. But the over whelming emotions of the past two days and the effects of being severely drunk the night before took their toll. Before dinner Poe was passed out in his bed.
* * * *
His first night of good sleep in a bed was dreamless. A night of blacked out exhaustion. Poe didn’t realize how much he needed that sleep until he had overslept. It’s hard to oversleep when you’ve got nowhere to be, but 12 hours of sleep was a bit much. It left him still slow and groggy in the morning, but that didn’t last long. His nerves were settling and he felt a relief of some tension he wasn’t fully aware he had. After some caf he pick himself up to go help Rey. She was loading up the Falcon today, and technically he’d just be walking on and off the ship, not flying and working one.
Afterwards Poe and Rey walked down to where Finn was still laying still in his coma. They didn’t talk on the walk there, but once inside, Poe let Rey approach Finn’s prone form first. Intrigue then worry flashed over his face. Rey brushed fingers over the ex-troopers hair, and said something softly to him, Poe couldn’t hear it, before placing a kiss on Finn’s forehead. The interaction was short but a lot more than Poe had seen of Rey.
It was then he wondered how close they were, Finn and Rey. Finn had apparently gotten her off Jakku, probably saving her from a slave-like life there. Finn had saved Poe too. Was it their turn to save him? Rey did so already by bringing him home. Was it his turn now? Rey furrowed her brow and gave a sigh before standing
There was a strange silence between her and the pilot before she broke it. “I’m leaving early.” He snapped his gaze to her. Didn’t she have one more day before she left? Why leave early? Well he couldn’t blame her too much, with a mission looming over his head he’d want to launch right into it too. “Watch over him… Let me know if something changes. I’ll be back as soon as I’m able.” Rey said and bit her lip a moment then moved awkwardly forward, for probably a hug but thought otherwise and settled for a handshake. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more, Dameron.” He couldn’t help but smirk just a little bit.
“You dropped the Mister, we’re already become more familiar, huh?” He gripped her hand, a squeeze of solidarity. “Take care of yourself Rey. Drag Skywalker back here. He’s old it couldn’t be too hard.” He joked, but he knew if a Jedi Master didn’t want to be found, it would be hard to bring him anywhere. Rey rolled her eyes and in the few seconds things seemed normal. Then Rey left and Poe was left sitting in a chair, alone, with Finn and his machinery.
What could he do? He rubbed at his forehead and then scratched a bit at his wrist. Could he touch Finn? Maybe he should talk more, but talking to him and an empty room seemed silly and almost pointless. Almost. He had a friend in a similar state, back when he was a kid. But it was medically induced and in a bacta chamber until he was healed and came to. A lot less interactive. You can’t really visit and talk to someone suspended in a tank of liquid. At the base they didn’t have any chambers. Everything was run by medical droids. It wasn’t worth the cost to bring it to such a remote place. But technology has also advanced using bacta patches and IVs to the trouble areas.
The jagged rise and fall of the EKG machine was his ‘entertainment’ for a few minutes before Poe leaned lightly on the bed and, after glancing around, place his hand over Finns. His dark skin was oddly smooth for a fighter. Probably from being under gloves and armor. Also he was warm. Of course he was warm, he was alive. That fact made Dameron relax some. A few pats on the hand and he drew it back.
“What do you think of Rey, huh? She’s interesting….” He said, trying to talk some. “A Jedi… maybe, who would’ve thought it? I feel like she could bring him back. I think Desert people attract desert people. Maybe…” That was lame. Super lame. Poe winced slightly at it and fall silent. He shifts in his seat and then gets up. And paces the room before leaving. He can’t sit still, but he’d be back soon.
He spends the rest of his day seeing Rey off and scrubbing the scoring and burns off his ship, they never fully come off but it helps with maintenance and if he couldn’t fly her to relax, he could keep her shiny at least. As he worked jokes filter through his mind, maybe he could tell some to Finn. Nah, none of them were that funny. It would be funny to practice pickup lines…. Awkward if he woke up during them.
A standard cycle began to end, his X-wing looked the same, even after the cleaning, and he went to find some grub before heading back to his room. Maybe he should visit Finn one more time. He took a shower and freshened up, walking out of the bathroom he was met by BB-8. He had been with the debriefing team the past two days, unloading and displaying information. He smiled and ran his head over the metallic dome of his friend.
“Wanna come with, BB-8?” He ask with a gentle grin. The droid gave a quick whistle and rolled off ahead of him. Poe followed having to almost jog to keep up. When the doors opened ahead of him, the droid was all chatter, Leia’s voice filtered through the opening. He slowed his gait and walked almost cautiously into the clinic.
“So, he was really a stormtrooper?” She asked without looking. Leia knew it was Poe, no one else came to visit, according to the staff, besides a curious onlooker.
“Yeah, he save my life back there, General.” Poe answered, hands delved into his pockets and he looked over the older woman as she turned to face him, a familiar brown jacket hanging in her arms. “That’s… uh…”
“They were asking what to do with it, it’s pretty damaged in the back. I told them I’d hand it to you, it is yours right? Looks just like it.” Leia mused and held it out to him. Fingers trembled just a little as he took it from her, Poe was speechless. He flipped it over, fingertips brushing along the slash in the back. There was dried bits of… something on it. He wasn’t a queasy person but this was probably parts of someone he cared about on the jacket. “Good night, Dameron.” Leia said softly, warmly, sadly as she walked past him and off to her quarters.
Poe felt his throat hitch. Emotions were getting to him. How could he help? He felt useless. He couldn’t help the resistance and he couldn’t help Finn. The pilot flopped into the chair, which creaked with the force and weight. BB-8 let out a low moaning sound of commiseration, and rolled up to Poe’s side wobbling slightly as he stopped. Poe hadn’t felt this low in a long time, he groped around and gripped at Finns upper arm.
“Buddy… Buddy you gotta wake up, yeah?” He pleaded for a moment, voice scratchy and rough with need. The need to things to be okay. “Maybe the general can lift my grounding when you wake. I can take you flying… This planet’s really beautiful.” His fingers rubbed the fabric of Finn’s sleeve together.
“We can get you drunk, that’d be fun. Do storm troopers drink? Ha, bet if they did they wouldn’t miss shooting at us as much…” He joked. Oh no, he’s telling jokes. There was a pause before he pulled away. His hands gripped the pilot jacket before sliding it on for warmth in the cold clean room. He’d take care of it, until Finn woke, and then give it back. It suits him, the pilot remember as settled back in the chair, and hummed quietly. Poe was going to stay longer than he did last time. But darkness tinged the edge of his mind, his humming stopped, his body slouched even more and Poe was lost to sleep.