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Anthony Lockwood was sure of many things in his life, but the most important one was that he was completely and irrevocably in love with Lucy Carlyle. It had been some weeks since she decided to come back to the agency, and the thought that she could leave again without knowing how he truly felt about her terrified him. But he still hadn't found neither the courage nor the right moment to finally tell her how he felt.
He still had plenty of time to think about it on the ride home from a successful case. The source of the ghost was tricky to find, but they did it without burning a house down, which was a win for them. Since it was already late, Holly and Kipps headed to their respective homes. They were all tired, eager to get home and get some sleep, but Lockwood couldn't help but notice that Lucy was looking unusually pale.
"Are you alright Luce?" He asked.
"Hm?" She frowned "of course I am! I'm just wondering why the cab is so cold, the heat should be on."
"But it is on, Lucy." George answered, while exchanging worried looks with Lockwood.
Lucy shrugged and replied "I'm just tired, that's all."
When they got home, Lucy announced that she was going to her room and disappeared before anyone could ask her anything.
"I think she has a fever. I'll get the medicine, you make the tea and go talk to her." George said.
"Perfect, I'll just take a shower first." Lockwood replied, and his friend nodded.
As he was putting on his pajamas, he couldn't help but worry about Lucy. Ever since she'd joined the agency, she had never gotten sick. She had colds and tired days, but had never gotten truly sick. He wanted to help her, to make her feel better. In just a few minutes George handed Lockwood medicine and a damp cloth to help with the fever, and Lockwood had prepared a tray with tea and Lucy's favorite biscuits.
Carefully he went up the stairs, and knocked on Lucy's door.
She didn't answer, so he knocked again. "Luce? Can I come in?" He asked, and heard a sniff and a sigh, followed by a soft "yes."
When he stepped into the room, he saw Lucy in her gray sweatpants and a blue long sleeved pajama shirt. She had her back facing the door and was curled up in the corner of her bed. Lockwood carefully set the tray on her bedside table and sat on the bed.
"I brought you tea." Lockwood said tentatively. "Thank you."
They stayed in silence for a moment, and Lockwood tried again to get her to open up. "I think you might have a fever Luce, I brought some medicine."
"I don't need this Lockwood, I can still do my job just as well, sick or not."
"I know, but I think the medicine will make you feel better, get well sooner."
"If it's so important to you I'll take it" she looked at him for the first time in the conversation, and he could see that there were tears in her eyes, "just don't fire me, I won't miss any jobs because of this." Her voice was small and she couldn't stop the tears from spilling.
"What? Fire you?" Lockwood frowned.
"Yeah, I know you want to do it, you kept looking at me in a weird way every time I coughed in the case today. I'll harm the agency if I miss jobs because of a little fever. But I won't do it, I promise. I can work just fine." Then she had a coughing fit.
"Luce, I kept looking at you because I was worried, I would never fire you, especially not because you are sick."
Lucy looked up at him with her tearful but fierce eyes "oh, I doubt it. I know how these things work. But if you want to fire me, let's get this over with. I worked alone once, I can do it again."
"How these things work? What are you talking about Lucy?" Lockwood's voice was getting louder, he was annoyed at the implications of what Lucy was saying.
"You're the owner of the agency, if I don't work well enough you'll fire me, simple as that."
"But it's not simple Lucy" he held her gaze and lowered his voice "it's not simple. You're not only valued here because of your Talent, you're our friend, someone important to us. I wouldn't fire you because you are sick. I want you to be in this agency for as long as you want to." He smiled at her.
Lucy glared and studied him. "Seriously?" She asked as the rage in her eyes subsided.
"Of course. I promised I'd never lie to you again, remember? You're incredibly important to the agency," he paused, not only to the agency, "and you're incredibly important to me." He brushed a stray hair out of her face and held her cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. Lucy leaned into his touch, the thought of someone caring about her purely for being herself was almost foreign to her. But she knew Lockwood wasn't lying, she could see the worry and the gentleness in his eyes. He dropped his hand and Lucy immediately missed his warmth.
He handed her the medicine and said "this should help with the shivering and the fever, and having this damp cloth on your forehead could help too."
"Thanks Lockwood, really, it's just that", she trailed off.
"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to, Luce."
"But I do. It's just that" she took a deep breath "if we missed a day of work at Jacobs' agency, our payment got deducted. So my mum never let me miss a day of work, not even when I was sick. There was one time when I was feeling so bad, I had a fever of almost 40 degrees, that I went to Jacobs' but hid in the bathroom there. Of course I didn't get payed for that day, and when my mother found out... Let's just say that it wasn't a friendly conversation" she sighed. She hated talking about that, and she hated the fact that her past still affected her so much. But she knew she could trust Lockwood, she knew he would understand.
"Luce, I'm so so sorry." Lockwood said while hugging her tightly, and she couldn't stop herself from crying. "You deserved a better mother, someone to take care of you, not that horrible person."
"Thanks Lockwood." He released his hold a little bit, to look her in the eyes. He gently tilted her chin so she was looking at him, and said "but you don't have to worry about this anymore. I will always take care of you, always."
"Thank you, you don't know how much this means to me." They looked into each other's eyes and time stopped for a moment. Then they awkwardly broke off the hug and sighed.
"Well, I'll let you rest for a bit. If you need me, I'm in my room, ok?" Lockwood said.
"Ok, thank you" Lucy said while sipping her tea.
_______
The thing was, when Lockwood went to his room, he intended to sleep. But he couldn't get his mind to slow down. He kept thinking of Lucy. He shouldn't have left her alone there. What if she needed his help? What if she was feeling worse than before? He couldn't stay in bed, he was too restless for that. So he decided to pace around his room for a bit, until finally settling on sitting in the stairs that led to Lucy's room. He put his head on the wall and almost dozed off for a moment, until he heard a scream.
He ran up the remaining stairs and said "Luce? Can I come in?" But no answer came, and he could hear her crying. He entered the room, carefully in case Lucy didn't want him there, and checked in on her. She was sleeping, clearly having a nightmare. Her back was turned to the door, and Lockwood sat on the corner of her bed.
"Luce? Wake up Lucy, it's just a nightmare." He lightly touched her shoulder and Lucy opened her eyes with a gasp. "Hey Luce, it's okay. You're safe." She curled up closer to Lockwood and cried even harder, and he gently brushed her hair out of her face. He whispered reassuring words of safety into her hair and held her tight while she cried.
When her crying subsided, she apologized. "I'm sorry Lockwood, you shouldn't have to deal with this."
But he'd woken up crying, scared and feeling alone too many times in his life, and he wished that she'd never feel that lonely or scared. "I'm happy to be here Luce." He smiled tenderly at her. "Do you want to talk about it?" She drew in a shuddering breath, and Lockwood regretted asking. "You don't need to." He added quickly.
"But I want to, it's just... hard."
"I know."
"The nightmare... I was in the Mill. But everyone that died there was a ghost. They surrounded me and I could only hear crying and them screaming about how it was my fault." She couldn't stop the tears from falling down. "It was my fault Lockwood, if I had been more efficient convincing Jacobs, they would all still be alive."
"It's not your fault Luce! It's not your fault and you know it. Jacobs was a terrible person and shouldn't be allowed to have an agency. I'm sure none of your friends would blame you." He pressed a kiss to her hair.
"Thank you Lockwood." She smiled weakly. "I definitely won't be able to sleep again though."
"How about this: you can go downstairs and pick a movie to watch, while you do this, I make tea and prepare the TV in your room. Then we can watch the movie together... If you want me here, that is."
"Of course I do! That sounds like a good idea."
"Great! Meet you here in 15 minutes. Pick any movie, don't be shy."
________
When Lucy got back to her room, Lockwood had set blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the TV. He had also brought a tray with tea, biscuits and medicine for her. She smiled seeing how much effort he put into it, she didn't even believe that it was for her.
"Hey Luce, how are you feeling?"
"I'm good, but a little cold."
"I brought medicine and extra blankets to warm you up." He smiled. "Which movie did you choose?"
"Well, we don't need to watch the one I brought, you can choose a better one." Lucy said shyly.
"What? No! You're the one who's sick Lucy, so you choose the movie. I'll like whatever you choose" I'll like it as long as I can be with you, he thought to himself, but didn't have the courage to say it out loud.
"Well, I was thinking we could watch Beauty and the Beast..."
"Good choice Luce! I used to love it as a child. The idea of a magic house with singing objects always appealed to me." He gave her a bright smile.
"I only watched it sometimes, in friends' houses... My mom didn't like the idea of us using the TV when it was, in her own words, 'the only thing that brought her joy in that miserable life'." Lucy said while looking at the tape she was holding, voice small, tears threatening to spill.
"You can watch it as many times as you want Luce, I promise. No one will take that from you." He gestured for her to sit next to him. She put her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her, holding her tight.
"Sorry, I seem to always have a tragic story." Lucy laughed.
"Don't apologize Lucy. We can't control what's in our past, but we can always count on each other when it threatens to overwhelm us." They smiled at each other and Lucy believed him. Lockwood always had a way to make her feel safer and better.
They put on the movie, and Lockwood could see a lot of Lucy in Belle. She was strong, intelligent and too special for anyone in her small town to understand her. Lucy realized he was looking at her, and asked "what are you thinking?"
Lockwood smiled, almost shyly, and said "nothing, just about the similarities between you and Belle."
Lucy laughed "oh yeah, as if there were any. I'm not even close to being similar to a princess." She hated how bitter she sounded, and Lockwood touched her chin to make her look at him.
"You're even better, you're Lucy Carlyle! But there are similarities. Belle was too special for anyone in her small village to understand, and she wanted to be valued for who she truly was. She was brave, strong, intelligent and kind. Just like you, Lucy." She blushed at his words, but a thought occurred to her "well, if I'm Belle, when she leaves her town she goes to the Beast's castle. Is that 35 Portland Row?"
"It could be."
"I always thought this house had a kind of magic, so it makes sense. And maybe George would be Lumière? Always cooking and trying to make everything perfect?" They both laughed.
"He could be, although I think he has a bit of Cogsworth's grumpiness."
"You're right. And then, that means you're the Beast. A closed off guy that has secret rooms and is the only one who truly understands Belle." Those last few words left Lucy's mouth before she could stop them, and they both blushed at it.
Lockwood decided to break the tension by saying "well, that sounds true, but I like to think that I'm a bit more good looking than the Beast."
"Of course you are." They laughed and went back to paying attention on the movie.
Lucy's eyes started to shine when the Beast gives his whole library to Belle, and Lockwood would love to be able to give her that kind of happiness.
When the Beast almost dies in the end, they both tear up, the thought of almost losing the person they love a little too close to their reality. The credits start to roll and the song Beauty and the Beast starts playing again. Lockwood decides that he couldn't wait anymore, and there would never be a better moment for what he was about to do.
"Luce..."
Just a little change
"Hm?"
Small to say the least
"There's one more thing that I have in common with the beast."
Both a little scared
"And what is it?"
Neither one prepared
"Well, he is completely in love with Belle... And I am completely in love with you."
Beauty and the beast
He held her face in his hands and kissed her. For a moment, Lucy was so shocked that she didn't do anything, but then she kissed him back. It was everything they'd ever hoped for: full of passion and need, but also of tenderness and care.
The world seemed to melt around them, and when they broke the kiss, Lucy said "you can't be serious."
"But I am Luce. I love you. I've loved you ever since you got through the door of this house for the first time. You gave meaning to my life, and when you left it felt almost completely meaningless." She was going to speak but he kept talking "look, it's ok if you don't feel the same for me. We can keep being friends and co-workers. I don't expect you to feel the same, but I felt like I had to tell you."
"Lockwood."
"Really, it's not a problem."
"Lockwood."
"We can forget that it happened."
"Lockwood."
"What?"
She kissed him again, this time even more passionately. She ran her hands through his hair and when they were out of breath they broke the kiss and she said "I love you too Lockwood. I've loved you ever since I met you, and I suffered each day I couldn't be close to you. But I didn't think you would ever feel the same for me."
"How could I not love you, Luce? You are perfect!"
"I'm definitely not." Lucy gave a small laugh.
"You are, and I want to spend every day showing that to you. But do you feel the same way?"
"I do."
"And are you being serious?"
"Of course I am."
He hugged her so tightly that she almost couldn't breathe. She hugged him back and was surprised at how relieved she was knowing that her love was corresponded.
However, despite her total happiness, her fever seemed to come back stronger than ever, and Lucy started shivering. Lockwood put his hand on her forehead to feel her temperature, and said "Lucy, you're burning with fever."
"I'm fine." But he didn't fail to notice how pale she'd gotten.
"How about this: I can take you to my room since it's a bit warmer there, and you can try to sleep a little bit. I can sleep in the living room if you'd like."
"No! I mean, I'd like to go somewhere warmer, but I don't want you to leave me."
"Let's go to my room then." Lockwood picked Lucy up and started going down the stairs with surprising agility.
"What are you doing Lockwood?" Lucy laughed.
"Just carrying this princess to a warmer place." He said with her favorite smile, the one he saved just for her.
Lockwood put Lucy in bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen to get a damp cloth and more medicine. When he came back, he got a couple of extra blankets and tucked Lucy in so she could be warm. He made her take the medicine and put the cloth on her forehead. He moved away from her for a second, but she held his hand, her voice already slurring because of her sleepiness and fever. "Don't leave me."
He pressed a kiss to her hand and said "never."
He laid down next to her, and hoped that everything that happened between them wasn't gone by the morning.
_______
Lucy managed to get some hours of sleep, and woke up feeling very sick, although a little better than the day before. She looked around and realized she was in Lockwood's room, in his bed. He was sleeping peacefully, and it was the first time she'd ever seen him do that. He was also holding her hand. When she moved to cough, Lockwood woke up. "Morning Luce. How are you feeling?"
"Not good, but better than yesterday."
"Let's take the day off then, a little rest will be good for all of us."
Lucy silently agreed, but then something came to her mind and she turned to look him in the eyes. "Lockwood?"
"Hm?"
"Did yesterday really happen? Like, all of that? Because it's okay if you want to forget everything, we can go back to being friends, I won't leave the agency."
"Lucy..." Lockwood started while tenderly brushing strands of hair out of her face. "I love you Luce. I don't think I could ever stop loving you, not even if I tried. I don't want to forget yesterday, I was scared it could've been a dream."
"I love you too Lockwood. More than I've ever loved anyone."
Lockwood smiled brightly, and it lit up the whole room.
"Lockwood, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"If we're not just friends, or associates... what do you want us to be?" She asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"Well... I want you to be my girlfriend, Lucy Carlyle. Would you like that?"
Now it was her turn to smile brightly, and she answered "Yes! Yes! Of course I want it! I want to be able to say out loud that Anthony Lockwood is my boyfriend." They hugged each other, feeling happier than they'd ever felt.
"It's still early, and I think that resting might be good for you. Don't forget, I'm a fully qualified doctor." They laughed together. "Do you want to sleep a little more?"
"Yes, but only if you stay with me."
"Your wish is my command. Also Luce, when you're feeling better I want to take you out on proper dates. Movies, parks, restaurants, and to all of my favorite places in London."
"I would love that."
This was the most peaceful morning Anthony Lockwood and Lucy Carlyle ever had. And that was because nothing brought them as much peace and happiness, as being with each other.