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“All I’m saying is you have terrible taste in women,” Erik said with a shrug, taking another drink of the beer in his hand.
He and Charles were relaxing on the couch, Erik was leaning back against the cushion with Charles’s feet propped up on his lap, almost drapped over Erik and the couch both. The man was a couple of drinks ahead of Erik and it was clear they were starting to affect him, his face flushed, and the fact that he wasn’t sitting as properly as usual, both good signs.
“Yeah, because that doesn’t hurt to hear,” Charles replied, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes on the TV screen, playing some movie that Erik knows neither of them are really paying attention to.
“You know I’m right,” Erik continued, “You can’t argue with me on this. Or I suppose you could. Knowing you, you will, but like normal, you’ll be wrong.”
Charles turned his head to look at Erik, seeming completely miserable. The entire point of this night was to drink and forget his latest breakup. Though Erik was convinced it wasn’t much of a breakup. A woman Charles had tried to pick up over the course of a week ending in a firm no wasn’t exactly a breakup but they were still treating it as one.
“Gabby,” He tried, and Erik wondered if they meant the same Gabby. The look on his face must have made it clear.
“You mean the one that wanted you to be by her side constantly but also never wanted to be by yours?” Erik asked, “The one who divorced you the first chance she got?” He thought he had rather good points but Charles seemed inclined to disagree.
“We had very different lives. She was perfectly nice, kind, sweet, and gentle. I loved her. She just had her career, I had mine, and we didn’t see much of each other. That puts a strain on a relationship. Besides, we had David and I could never regret him.”
Erik sighed and had to give him that, even if he wasn’t going to admit it out loud. “Then Lilandra,” Erik decided, “She wanted to isolate you from everyone, your family, your friends, your students, for crying out loud. She wanted to be the only one in your life. Her and her family.”
“She…was a little different,” Charles said carefully, “But she did care for me and I loved her. She helped me a lot and we saw a lot of her people. It wasn’t like I was completely alone with her constantly.”
Erik wasn’t her biggest fan. The idea of losing Charles over some woman didn’t sit right with him, it never had. When he had stopped hearing from the man he had called his best friend for decades, he almost went in guns blazing before Charles caught him and assured him everything was alright. Something about the idea of that time still nauseated him a little.
“Moria,” Charles said after another moment, “There wasn’t anything wrong with her, you have to give me Moria.”
Erik shook his head, “Nope. Just didn’t like her. Something was off. She wasn’t right for you.”
Charles gave a sharp, humorless laugh, “Alright then, you haven’t liked a single woman I’ve ever gone on a date with,” Charles said, “Not even the ones I’ve married or engaged to. Is there some point in all of this or are you just trying to make me feel even more like shit than I already do?”
Erik shrugged, suddenly second-guessing himself. What had been his point? Where was he going with all this? He could tell where he wanted it to be going, what he was thinking about when he started this but now? The idea of saying anything out loud seemed almost impossible. Or like it would be the biggest mistake of his life.
He decided not to be too direct with his words and go with something more vague instead. They could ease into it and maybe it wouldn’t be so devastating. Maybe he could laugh it off when things went wrong and blame it on the beer. Though he was only on his second and was much too good at holding his alcohol for that to really do any damage. They both knew it.
“Have you ever thought about dating a man instead?” Erik asked simply, his eyes now carefully trained on the screen to keep from looking at Charles. As though he had a real interest in…the length of a piece of string, apparently.
Eyes were on him. Erik could feel it, the way Charles was watching him but he was determined to not look at him, only staring at the screen even harder. He wouldn’t give in though he did wonder what the other was thinking. Better not think that too hard or Charles would let him know and he could only imagine the horror and pain he would get from that being projected.
“I…have thought about it,” Charles said after what felt like an hour of waiting, “I’ve never dated a man before though.”
“I’m not saying it’s any better,” Erik said as though his heart didn’t feel like it had just fallen out of his ass. “But maybe you’d have better luck with it.”
“Where would I find a guy?” Charles asked and, to Erik, it sounded like he was really thinking about it.
He wanted to grab Charles and shake him, tell him he was right there but, at the same time he had to wonder what he had done. Now it was going to be even worse. It wasn’t going to be Charles bringing home girl after girl for one-night stands and dates but Charles bringing home girls and guys. He was going to be dating men and Erik was going to have to stand by and watch.
In his mind it had been simple, he would suggest Charles dating guys, Charles would agree, and then look to Erik. Nothing romance movie, there wasn’t going to be fireworks and confetti, sparkles in their eyes, but maybe Charles reaching out to grab his hand. Some kind of little show that he was considering it. That he thought Erik could be something other than his best friend.
But, of course, most people weren't even considering their friends that way, Erik was the oddity here, as he always seemed to be. Everyone was looking for other people, new people, people who didn’t know all their deep, dark secrets.
People who didn't know about the stuffed lion Charles used to carry around when he was little. Who didn't know that he still had a stuffed shark he still slept with when he'd had a nightmare or was in pain—one that Erik had won for him at a fair mostly as a joke after talking about how Erik looked like a shark when he smiled? People who didn't know he got sick on a ride later that day and puked on a stranger in the most embarrassing moment of his life.
Erik had even seen Charles naked and wet on the bathroom floor after a particularly not fun shower experience that they still haven’t discussed to this day and perhaps they never would.
And that wasn’t even taking into account the things Charles knew about Erik that a potential partner wouldn’t want to know. There was a list that Erik didn’t want to even begin to consider.
“You know,” Charles’s voice pulled Erik from his thoughts and he looked back at the other man, his eyes maybe a little too wide before he blinked and schooled his features. “I thought that was going to be fun, watching you panic like that. I didn’t know you were going to spiral so much though.” Charles’s voice was soothing as he cupped Erik’s cheek, caressing it gently.
“What are you saying?” Erik asked, his voice a little rougher than he would like, straining to control it, forcing the words out.
“I’m saying that if you’re suggesting, then I’m agreeing. I’m saying yes,” Charles replied, and then a kiss was placed at the corner of Erik’s lips, a gentle brush but enough to let Erik know it was okay.
“Are you sure?” Erik found himself asking anyway, “How much have you drunk?” It was best to ask, and make sure this would be remembered in the morning. He was all too well acquainted with how Charles could be around alcohol. That was another thing they should, perhaps, talk about.
“I’m sure,” Charles replied, “And this is my third." He motioned to the three empty bottles—one Erik's, two his—"I’m not that far ahead of you. A little tipsy, perhaps, but I'm not drunk yet. I’m not going to regret this in the morning and I assure you I won’t be forgetting it anytime soon.” Then lips were fully pressing against Erik’s, a gentle kiss that he couldn’t help but lean into.
He just hoped Charles had better taste in men than women.