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Regulus hated feeling guilty. Sometimes he wished that he had inherited his mother’s sociopathic tendencies, but alas, he had no such luck. If there was one thing he hated even worse than feeling guilty, it was giving apologies. Regulus always did his darnedest to avoid apologizing. However, he couldn’t just sulk in his own personal guilt forever. Instead, he created a great method of avoiding guilt while not having to humble himself by apologizing.
Regulus would just mail whoever was the victim of his discourtesy an anonymous bouquet of flowers. None of his mishaps were worth more than a fifty-quid bouquet. It also helped that he didn’t care if the other person forgave him or not. Regulus just had to forgive himself.
Yesterday’s mishap had been eating at Regulus all day. He knew better than to cold-shoulder the new receptionist. Moreover, he knew better than to cold-shoulder James Potter. The man that was so inherently good it made Regulus sick. Though, he did understand why he did it. That morning, when he was expecting to see sweet, seventy-year-old Bathilda and instead saw James Potter, his old secondary school crush, he panicked. He’s definitely not proud of it, but he went back into his thirteen-year-old self’s pattern of avoiding eye contact at all costs. Then when James had called out his name, he ignored him and darted to his cubical. It was mortifying and plain rude. So, today James found a bouquet of daisies on his desk.
As a result, he had been hearing some form of this conversation all day:
“Have you seen my flowers, aren’t they lovely?” James asked roughly about every single person who had ever entered the office.
“Beautiful, who sent them?”
“I don’t know, there was no card.” James would respond with a grin, “But you’ll let me know if you hear anything?”
Regulus honestly didn’t know how James was so friendly with everyone in the office on his second day of work. Regulus still hasn’t reached that level and he’d been working there for over two years. Friendly people scared him a bit. Although, Regulus couldn’t say he wasn’t pleased with how much James seemed to be showing off his flowers.
In fact, it pleased Regulus so much that finally when the flowers were dead beyond doubt and James forced himself to get rid of them, he ended up sending another bouquet, which ended up getting just a pleasant reception, so a pattern accrued. Regulus had spent hundreds of dollars getting these flowers, and there was no not humiliating excuse he could give himself for why.
Then, in an even more mortifying twist of events, one day, he found a bouquet of roses on his desk. They were in a small glass vase that was all very tasteful. He steeled himself before opening the card and reading, ‘ I’m friends with the florist, thank you for all the flowers. -James (p.s. This is what it looks like when someone signs a card, instead of just leaving it blank)(p.p.s please don’t be made at Pete, he is a terrible secret keeper, but he tried, I solemnly swear)’ Regulus’ face grew red as a tomato as he read the words. How was he supposed to move on from this? How was he ever supposed to show his face in this building again?
There was really only one option he could think of to get out of this mess. He went to the lousy secret keeper’s website and ordered another bouquet of flowers. This time he attached a message, ‘ Would you mind terribly never mentioning this ever again? -RAB’ and in the special notes section he wrote ‘ Peter, there is no such thing as a florist-shopper confidentiality. You are forgiven.’ Just because he knows how annoying it is to feel guilty.
Then the next day, there were more flowers on his desk, this time they were tulips with a card that said, ‘ I promise never to risk your embarrassment if you answer me one question, why did you send them?’ Regulus frowned at the question. Should he answer it? Could he afford to? Regulus wasn’t short on money by any means but his flower budget was getting out of hand, plus James’ desk was starting to look like a garden.
Rather than replying with a bouquet, he just tied a note to a single flower and left it on James’ desk. ‘ I felt bad for not responding to you that day -RAB’. Regulus was fully aware this did not actually answer James’ question, but it was the best he was willing to do. This whole thing was rather ridiculous and Regulus should just stop responding.
Within roughly twenty minutes of Regulus leaving the flower on his desk, James marched over with a smirk and laid a completely different flower onto Regulus’ desk silently and then walked away. Regulus’ face was rose red the entire time. He quickly unraveled the note and read, ‘ Why did you send the rest? -JFP’ . Regulus frowned at the message. He definitely wasn’t going to respond to this one.
‘ You promised you would never speak of the event again if I answered your question -RAB’ Regulus tied up the message and quickly left the flower on James’ desk, avoiding all and any eye contact. He had gone down to the corner store to buy a handful of daisies for this purpose. Of course, this would be the last message he sent and the rest of the flowers were meant to rot in his desk drawer.
‘Of course, my apologies, I would never besmirch your trust like that. Actually, on the topic of besmirching things, I told Sirius that we work together. I didn’t actually mean to but I’m shit at not telling your brother things. -JFP’ Regulus winced when reading the bit about his brother. He was sort of hoping that James and Sirius had lost touch, of course knowing his brother and James, he should have known that would never happen. Regulus was also somewhat glad that Sirius still had his best friend. Either way, he really didn’t want to deal with the catastrophe that is his and his brother’s relationship.
‘No sense in crying over spilled milk. Tell my brother whatever you want. -RAB’ Regulus sent this one saying to himself that this really would be the last one he sent. He probably would never even talk to James again. Even if that thought made him a bit sad. However, it was probably for the best.
‘ That’s very understanding of you. If you don’t mind me asking, are you still in contact with your parents? Its- Sirius would want to know. You don’t have to answer of course, but I’d really appreciate it if you did. -JFP’ Regulus sighed at James’ earnestness. How could he ignore a message like that? Not to mention, how was he supposed to explain how he left his parents in a fucking letter during work hours? However, he had never told anyone this story. Sirius had always gotten lots of poor yous and sympathy when he told people about what their parents did to him. Granted, what their parents did to him was awful and he deserved all of the sympathy he got. But so did Regulus. All Regulus really wanted was for someone to say, ‘wow, that sucks.’
‘ I didn’t really leave my parents,’ Regulus began, ‘They kicked me out while I was in university. From what my cousin told me, my parents heard that I was queer and their first call was to the locksmith to change all the locks to the house without a word to me. I had a dorm room, so I wasn’t homeless, but I haven’t heard from them since. I was fine, nothing like Sirius’ situation. Please don’t make it a thing. -RAB’ Regulus felt embarrassed as he left the note with James. He really disliked talking about himself.
‘That really sucks. I’m sorry for asking you such a personal question. Also, I’m sorry for continuing to do things that make me apologize to you. In retribution, you can ask me a personal question. Nothing is off limits, however, I must warn you I live a very boring life. -JFP’ Regulus smiled at James’ response. He wasn’t sure how James had known just exactly what to say but somehow he did.
Regulus didn’t know what to ask James. He knew that they were very different people with very different concepts of privacy. James was the type of person who was willing to talk about himself for hours, not because he was a narcissist, but because he was just open to people. He had no secrets. Although, there was one thing that Regulus did want to know.
‘Very well, are you and Lily Evans still together? -RAB’ He was slightly embarrassed at the question. Of course, Regulus was slightly embarrassed about everything he did or said. However, this was a bit forward by anyone's standards, but he had to know. Lily was the girl James had proclaimed to love since Regulus had met him. She had mostly ignored him in school, but by sixth form they were together. Regulus would have hated her if she wasn’t actually a delightful person who he respected very much. It vexed him that he couldn’t force himself to disdain her.
‘Haha, no. Lily dumped me during our leavers party. We’re still friends though. I even get along great with her girlfriend. Are you seeing anyone? JFP’ Regulus blushed a bit while reading the note. Was James’ asking just in reciprocity or was James asking because he wanted to know? Regulus found this whole event exhausting but he couldn’t seem to stop.
‘No, I’m not seeing anyone. I don’t really like meeting new people. -RAB’ Maybe that would get the point across that he wanted to end the conversation. Not that he actually did want to end the conversation, but he wanted James to think that he wanted to end the conversation. Actually, he wanted James to ask him out, but that seemed like a farfetched wish.
‘That's a shame, you’re lovely. -JFP’ What exactly was Regulus meant to do with that? That was flirting. It definitely was flirting. Was James even queer? Regulus had offered up that he was queer to the other man, why couldn’t James reciprocate? He was shit at reading people, Sirius was the one who got all the social skills.
‘ I take back my personal question about Lily Evans as my personal question. That was just a regular question, and I wish to ask you a significantly more personal question. -RAB’ Regulus left the note, hoping it didn’t make him seem like a crazy person.
‘Well go on then -JFP’
‘Are you queer? -RAB’
‘Yes. Most definitely. Very. -JFP’
‘Okay then, -RAB’
‘Okay then? -JFP’
‘If you’re expecting me to do something then you’ll be waiting a long time. Best get on with it yourself. -RAB’
‘You’re going to make me do all the heavy lifting? -JFP’
‘Yes -RAB’
‘What if I don’t? -JFP’
‘That’s your prerogative. -RAB’
‘What if I’m the love of your life? -JFP’
‘The love of my life would ask me out. -RAB’
‘You’re being incredibly unfair. -JFP’
‘The love of my life would be okay with that because I have no intention of becoming someone more fair and considerate. -RAB’
‘Now I don’t want to ask you out in an argument. -JFP’
‘We aren’t arguing. -RAB’
‘You might not be but I am. -JFP’
‘Are you really not going to ask me out? -RAB’
‘No- though I can guarantee that I would say yes if you were to ask. -JFP’
‘What’s the point in all the formality if we both already know that we want to go out with each other? -RAB’
‘Because what would we tell the grandchildren?’ Regulus paused as he read that. James was already back at his desk but he was grinning at Regulus. As soon as they made eye contact, he immediately looked down to continue reading. (p.s. I expect to be asked out in person, not a note.)
He had to make a choice, ask this man out or be a coward. The problem with being a coward is that it's lonely. You don’t make friends that way. Life is full of risks and if you never take any then you are barely living life. He wanted to be with James. So he got up from his chair carrying a flower, except this time there was no note tied to it. Regulus walked over to James’ desk and waited.
“Yes?” James asked with the biggest grin on his face. It made Regulus want to punch him. He also wanted to kiss him but Regulus thought that probably didn’t have anything to do with the type of face he was making and more to do with the fact that Regulus had wanted to kiss James ever since he was thirteen.
“Would you like to go out with me- on a date?” Regulus asked with his chin held high. The whole office had gotten quiet and Regulus really didn’t appreciate that he was doing this with an audience.
“I’d love to,” James smiled sweetly at him. It made Regulus heart feel odd and he wanted to melt into the ground, not purely out of embarrassment. What did make him want to melt into the ground in embarrassment was the cheering from his coworkers.
“Great- erm- could I have your number? To make plans?” Regulus asked and James obliged while telling Regulus that he didn’t have to be that nervous. When he got back to his own desk, he found that someone from HR had left the employee relationships form on his desk.
Regulus and James went on their date together and it was absolutely lovely. Regulus was absolutely smitten with the other man and he was pretty sure that he would do several more stupid insane things for him. After a few more dates, Regulus told James about his method of not feeling guilty. James told him he needed to grow up and learn how to apologize because now that James was Regulus’ boyfriend (This was the first time Regulus had heard that news) Regulus was no longer allowed to send anyone flowers that was not James Potter.