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Chapter Text

“What in tarnation was that?!”

Ashley was pissed and reasonably so. Because Jake got distracted by a certain pair of contestants again, they lost another challenge. They were lucky that team cyan took the loss and Tom was the one sent home because they were the only people on magenta team at this point in the game. 

“Listen I’m sorry Ash, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Jake, you realize you keep saying that, right?” The blonde asked. “This is a constant thing, I understand it hurts to see, but you need to get your head in the game!”

“Listen, I promise it was something reasonable this time.”

“Tom and Aiden could be dancing the Devil’s tango and I wouldn’t care!”

“Woah woah woah, what do Tom and Aiden have to do with this?” Jake asked suddenly.

Ashley smacked her forehead in annoyance.

“Jake we’ve been talking about that the whole show-“

“Yes, I know, and I’m over them, I’ve been over them, and this isn’t about them this time!” 

Ashley paused for a second to think.

“So… who is this about then?”

Jake realized that he really didn’t wanna talk about this but he had already reached the point of no return. 

“It was Yul and Grett…”

It was almost as if Ashley’s anger all faded away that instant.

“Oh”

There was a short pause between the two of them. Ashley knew exactly what this was about, but she played dumb just in case.

“What’s going on with them?”

“Do you see the way he talks to her?!” Jake shouted. “Have you noticed how much she’s changed since our season? Do you think Yul- Hey remember when Yul said he forced his ex to get plastic surgery? You think he forced her to lose weight and change everything about herself?”

Jake expected her to say something along the lines of Jake you’re overreacting, it’s probably nothing to worry about. But what she really said was so much worse.

“This sounds really personal…”

She was right.

Jake pondered on how he could possibly respond to that. He knew exactly where this conversation was about to go and he didn’t want that, whether it be for his own sake or for her’s. The other day Alec told him that he overshares and needs to stop using Ashley as a personal therapist. And Jake believed him. Maybe Alec was just trying to distract him during the challenge again so his team would win. Regardless, Jake agreed with it. He didn’t wanna be a burden on his only friend that hadn’t been eliminated yet.

“I’ve trauma dumped enough on you already,” Jake responded. 

“What are you talking about? You’ve done it about as much as I have!”

Jake hadn’t thought about that.

“Jake, does this have anything to do with your ex?” Ashley asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Ash, can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone directly or publicly about?”

“Not even Miriam?” 

“She knows some other details but only my family knows the full story.” 

“There was more than just cheating in the relationship was there?” 

He felt his heart racing in his chest. 

“There was… and cheating wasn’t even the worst thing he did to me.”  

Jake didn’t wanna tell her anything. Not just because he’s already talked about his issues enough but because he didn’t feel comfortable enough with it yet. He knows Ashley would never do this to him but he had a gut feeling she would be disgusted with him by the end of the night. Well it’s not like he could go back now. He did almost risk them losing the challenge that they won by sheer luck after all, she deserves an explanation.

“You probably have no idea what I’m talking about but have you ever heard of a guy named Blake Hanson?” Jake finally asked.

“Doesn’t ring a bell.” Ashley responded.

“That’s what I thought. He was a serial abuser and rapist that was active in some areas of Ontario.” Jake noticed Ashley tense up slightly.

“Not a well known true crime case, he was actually really obscure, but a lot of people in my area were talking about him.”

There was a long pause before Ashley broke the silence.

“I don’t like where this is going…”

“Do you want me to keep going?” The older camper asked.

“Yes, I promise.” Ashley sounded like she was fighting her hesitation. She was willing to listen to her best friend at any moment but she knew that this may be the hardest conversation she’s had since she told her parents she caused her farm to burn down.

“You might wanna sit down, Ash.” 

The two of them sat down on the logs set up in front of the fire, Ashley moving to sit next to Jake. 

“I think I should start over. I’ve told you about how I used to cut in high school and then I recovered and slept around with a bunch of dudes in college right?” 

“Yeah,” she answered as if it was something completely normal.

“Well that’s sort of how I met Blake. We met at a college party, we had sex in the host’s bedroom and by the end he told me he was in love with me. I thought it was sudden but I believed him. He was so gentle with me…”

Jake trailed off and got a little lost in thought. He tried to remember the blaring hip hop and rock music, the flashing lights, the cheering and chatting of the partygoers, the taste of tequila in his cup, what Blake looked like when he first approached him to talk, the feeling of him being pulled up the stairs into a secluded bedroom, the face Blake made and he kissed Jake back, the gentle touch of his lips on his neck, the sound of his voice whispering, you’re so beautiful… I think I’m in love with you, Jake.

“So we started dating after that. I was 22 and he was 24 and we were both about to graduate, so once we did I moved in with him. I can’t explain it but once we moved in together, something shifted. I had a feeling something was wrong after we got together when I noticed I got a lot of dirty looks from the women on campus but I brushed it off as homophobia or something. But after we got an apartment, that’s when things started going downhill.” 

Jake paused as felt Ashley’s hand holding his. He looked up to see Ashley giving him an encouraging smile. Jake continued.

“A lot of times he would tell me to do favors for him, sometimes I wouldn’t be able to, whether it be for my time or comfort. At the start he was cool with it whenever I declined, but as time went on, not only did he become more demanding, his demands became more extreme. It got to the point of him making me change things about myself like to cut my hair or change the way I dress. And I did it all for him because I loved him and he’d always say he’d leave me or kill himself if I didn’t.” 

Jake’s emotions started flooding back and Ashley could tell. She squeezed his hand tighter.

“Something else that was important: he sort of became a sex addict and he wanted us to have sex a lot. I needed it to stop at some point because my body was constantly sore from it. I would tell him ‘no I don’t want to’ more often, and for a while he took it well. For a while…”

Jake started gripping Ashley’s hand back with the same strength as she did.

“Every time I would deny sex he just got more and more angry with me. It reached the point where we got into a huge argument over it one night. At some point he just gave up and left. When I got back from work the next day… that’s when I saw it… he was in bed with a woman I didn’t recognize. I didn’t know how to react, but I remember blacking out and running away to a gas station to call my brother about it.”

Jake let out a long sigh. “I guess I could just end the story here since now you know why I’m so concerned for Grett, I understand that feeling of staying in a toxic relationship just because you don’t want to be alone.”

“Yeah that definitely makes sense to me. I’m so sorry he put you through that,” the cowgirl replied reassuringly, raising a hand to caress his cheek. “Is that the end of your story?” Ashley asked.

“No,” he answered hesitantly.

“Do you wanna continue talking about it?”

Jake was silent for a minute. He made a face that basically said I’m really about to do this aren’t I? but he took a deep breath and continued. 

“I went home about an hour after that. The woman was gone but Blake was waiting there for me. He told me that he only cheated because I was being annoying, not letting him use my body.” 

Ashley noticed his eyes starting to well up and his voice growing soft.

“He told me he wished I could be a slut like I was when he met me. But I stopped for him. He said that I didn’t love him and that he was leaving me. I begged him to stay, insisting that I did love him. I said I would do anything for him to stay. He took me up to our bedroom, and told me to do what he said from then on and I would never be alone again… I loved him… I would do anything for him… I just didn’t wanna be alone.”

Jake closed his eyes and let tears fall from them.

“It took me so long to realize he raped me…” 

Jake paused, as if to ponder what he said. He was raped. He had accepted what happened to him, but he never said it out loud before. Doing so almost felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. He looked back up at Ashley, who had the exact reaction he expected. Tears formed in her eyes but her expression remained a blend of horrified and sympathetic. 

“I don’t know why it took so long for me to realize he raped me. I attempted to push him away but I just gave up after a while. It’s not like he cared that I was covered in bruises once he was done with me, or that I was gonna be too sore to get out of bed the next morning, or that I was crying myself to sleep right next to him. He had his reason to stay now.”

Jake sniffed and brought a hand up to wipe his eyes.

“For a while that was just our routine,” He continued, “I had no free will and I did whatever he wanted me to without question. He wanted me to buy food? It was on me. He wanted me to stay home instead of going to work? I stayed home. He wanted my body? It was his.”

“Oh my god…” Ashley exclaimed. Her voice was shaky and her country accent was barely noticeable, like that was all she could muster out. “How did you leave him?” She asked after a pause, voice and accent more clear this time.

“One day my brother Shawn called me and asked me to deliver some food he ordered to his house. For once, Blake was ok with it as long as I didn’t stay too long. Maybe I forgot to cover a bruise or I was talking funny Once I got there he and his wife, who was his fiancé at the time, especially knew something was weird about me. There was a lot that led up to it but eventually I broke down and told them everything and Shawn was pissed. I think now I should be happy that my brother decided to marry a nurse who would have known something was up because I might still be stuck with that monster. Long story short; I spent some time in the hospital, my brother tried to take this to court, it didn’t work out but I did move out safely and back into my parents house.”

Ashley immediately hugged him once he finished. “That must’ve been so scary,” she exclaimed, fighting back tears. “What happened to him afterwards?” Jake wanted to mention that his sister in law told him that Shawn went over to their apartment and beat the ever loving shit out of his ex but Jake never actually learned if that was true or not, as he figured that his brother would have gotten arrested for something like that. 

“Well at some point I learned that he had many other victims.” Jake answered as Ashley released her grip on him. “He got arrested for physically assaulting a minor and I think he was robbing someone too? Anyway I decided that this would be how I wanted to tell my story, by coming forward about him and my own experience.” His voice started to break at the end once all the memories flooded back to him. 

“But as I did my research I noticed something. All the victims were women. I was the only man.”

Ashley put a hand on his shoulder.

“Everywhere I looked, anonymous forums, articles, and videos from therapists, I was always being told something along the lines of ‘you’re not alone’ but once I saw the lists of all the victims, all the women he’s hurt, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone in my life.”

Jake was crying at this point. Ashley pulled him into another tight hug and gently stroked his hair. 

“It’s not like I was a child when it happened either, I was 23, I should have known better-”

Ashley interrupted him, “don’t say that Jake, it wasn’t your fault. No matter what it looks like, you are not alone.”

Jake pulled out of her grasp. “Yeah they keep saying that, that’s what everyone says but-“

“I know I know but just listen to me for a second.” Ashley interrupted again. “Did you actually come forward about it publicly?”

“No, Jake answered, shakily. 

“Alright then how do you know for sure that you’re the only one?”

Jake didn’t think about that.

“There might be another man out there who was put through the same hell you were, but doesn’t wanna talk about it for the same reasons you don’t,” the blonde continued, “maybe he feels just as alone as you do right now. Maybe he also has another friend telling him the same thing. Who knows? If Kristal chooses to air this conversation you might make him feel seen.”

Jake almost smiled at the thought but then the realization it hit him like a bus 

“Wait do-does that mean they’re watching this at the motel? Wait, IS TOM WATCHING THIS?! Oh my god what’s he gonna think of me, will he think I’m disgusting? Is Ellie gonna laugh at me and tell me I deserved it? Wait Miriam doesn’t know, what if-“

“Jake, stop, listen!” Ashley assured, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek. “Do you know how brave you are for talking about this? I’m sure Miriam and Tom wouldn’t think any less of you for this. As for Ellie? Fuck her! You shouldn’t care what she thinks about you because you have real friends now who do care about you, understand?”

Jake smiled and nodded. “I understand.” 

“Good, but if you want I can talk to the staff and they can cut all this out. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

The older camper thought about it for a moment before coming to his conclusion. 

“You know what? I think it’s fine. Maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world if hundreds of people saw this.” 

Ashley smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Woah, what was that about?” Jake asked with a chuckle.

“Not sure how things work in Canada but kissing your friends is a normal thing where I’m from. Well on the cheek at least, don’t get the wrong idea.”

Jake laughed at that. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it.”

The pair stood up and embraced each other. Ashley suddenly remembered why they were having this conversation in the first place.

“Right so, what about Grett? Are you gonna talk to her?” 

Jake looked over Ashley’s shoulder out into the woods. Determination sparked in him as he suddenly realized that he was the only one here who could help her.

“I know exactly what to do.

Chapter Text

Grett was out picking up sticks for her team’s fire. Her arms were starting to get full and her back was starting to ache. As she leaned over to pick up another one, some twigs fell out of her hands, which led to her dropping all of them. The woman groaned as she dropped to her knees to pick them all up. Another hand lowered to pick up the remaining sticks, much to Grett’s shock. She looked up to meet the stranger’s eyes. It was Jake.

“I believe these are yours?” He asked, handing her the sticks. 

Grett took them back in her arms. “Thank you,” she said. Silence fell among them as they continued. Jake wanted to say what he had to say but he didn’t know how to start. Once he finished helping her pick up sticks he finally spoke up.

“Grett, can we talk for a second?” He asked. 

“What do you want?” Grett asked, her tone a blend of exasperation and genuinely curious.

“It’s about Yul”

Grett let out a deep groan, her voice shifting from slightly tired to just exhausted.

“Have you come to tell me that he’s a shitty boyfriend and needs to be put in his place? Listen I understand where you’re coming from, but Yul and I are fine. Whatever happens with us, we don’t need your help.”

“You understand where I’m coming from?” Jake asked, making Grett stop in her tracks. “So you agree? You agree he treats you badly?”

“Well… look, Alec and Riya have already had this talk with me, but neither of them knew what they were talking about.”

“Then will you listen to someone who does know what he’s talking about?” The blue haired man asked, slumping against the nearby tree.

Grett paused again.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked.

“I’ve been where you are right now, Grett. If you ever want someone to talk to about this-“

Grett’s face shifted into an offended expression before interrupting Jake. “Oh please, because you’re boyfriend cheated on you that means you know everything about what I’ve been through?” She retorted sarcastically.

“There’s a lot more to it than just cheating, Grett,” Jake answered, somberly.

“So… what happened?” The woman asked, leaning against another nearby tree.

Although Jake had already opened up to Ashley and what his ex did to him, he wasn’t entirely comfortable with doing it again in such a short time frame. Besides it would have been weird if he just casually said Well, my ex emotionally tortured and repeatedly raped me, especially since he didn’t know Grett all that well nor did he completely trust her from the events of their season. 

“Well to spare you the more disgusting details, he also made me change things about myself. I was forced to cut my hair for one.” Jake added, “there was also the shaming me for my appearance, the gaslighting, the self victimization, the threatening to leave me or kill himself if I didn’t do what he wanted, just to name a few.”

Grett pondered on that for a while. And the more she thought about it the more she realized his ex sounded a lot like Yul.

“Now I understand, I didn’t even fully comprehend what I was going through at the time. I didn’t even break things off with him. My brother found out, took legal action and I was forced out of the apartment.” Jake continued.

Grett was startled by his choice of words. “Wait, legal action? Could Yul get arrested for commenting on my weight?”

“It depends on where you live, but since it clearly has worsened your physical health, yes. Doesn’t matter anyways because it didn’t work out anyway, but even then in my case the things he said to me plus the cheating wasn’t even the reason for the legal action. Like I said, disgusting details.” 

Grett had a feeling she knew what those details were but didn’t wanna ask. 

“Why didn’t the court case work?”

“Listen,” Jake answered. “I’m not an expert on the law, but based on what I know, my parents thought what I was put through was some kind of punishment for being gay and my brother was forced to drop the charges.”

Grett’s brow furrowed at the thought. She knew that his parents sucked but she didn’t think it was that bad.

“But back on topic, I think you’re headed in the right direction,” Jake said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Realizing you’re being abused is the first step to leaving a bad relationship-“

“WHOA excuse me?!” Grett retorted, “abuse is an extreme word isn’t it?”

“It absolutely is not extreme. This is abuse and it’s only been getting worse. And it will continue to get worse if you don’t do anything about it soon.”

“It’s just… I don’t want to be alone!” Grett cried.

“Being single should probably be better than being stuck with that asshole!”

There was a stillness that lingered in the woods as they stood there silently. Jake finally broke the silence as he realized his confrontational tone wasn’t helping. 

“Look I get it, I was the same way, I didn’t leave him because I thought that things would get better, that I could make him a better person. My parents hated me and they still do, I had no other friends, my grandma was too sick to take care of me, where else was I gonna go? I’d do anything just so I wouldn’t have to feel alone again.”

And I’d let him do anything.

Grett thought for a moment. She knew he was right but this was moving too fast for her. She knew she was being told all these things by someone who knew what he was talking about, but she had a feeling that he was trying to pull what she did to him in their season just to make her leave her alliance. It almost made her regret the way she treated him back then, knowing how bad the relationship really was.

“I might need a moment to think about it,” she finally said, almost dismissively. 

He took both of her hands and stood up with her.

“Take all the time you need, I understand this is a lot, but you’re on the right track.”

Without another word, Grett started walking away. But before she could get far enough she turned around to say one last thing.

“By the way, I’m… I’m sorry about what I did last season. If I had known your ex was that bad-“

“Hey hey hey, don’t worry about it, that was two years ago, we’re all good. If anything, I think you just brought me and Tom closer. Sure is a shame I might have to dump his ass.” He chuckled, but Grett only just smiled. 

“Good to know, good luck in tomorrow’s challenge!”

A loud smack echoed through the woods, followed by a blaring silence. It almost felt like time had stopped. Everyone just stood where they were and stared in horror as Grett held her reddening cheek and choked up and Yul painted angrily. 

No one really paid attention at first but from what could be gathered, Grett messed up a challenge and Yul snapped for real this time. It took him a few seconds to realize what he did and let it sink in. His alliance could turn against him and if his reputation wasn’t bad enough already, this would only make it worse. As Grett started to become more hysterical, he cupped her face and apologized profusely. No one really bought it but everyone was too shocked to do anything. 

Jake on the other hand felt like a million memories flashed before his eyes. He somehow could still feel his own cheek burning up from all those years ago. It didn’t even happen that often, can you be so scarred by something seemingly so small that only happened once? It didn’t matter, he had had enough, and he only had one thought on his mind.

This bitch needs to be put down.

“Darling listen I understand we have this alliance but I don’t think that this relationship w-“ Grett was abruptly interrupted by Jake jumping to aggressively tackle Yul. He pinned the other man to the ground and immediately went for the face, breaking his nose and blood gushing from it. Yul managed to fight back and get in a few good punches but Jake still had the upper hand. Riya and Gabby cheered Jake on while Alec smirked next to them but Ashley and Tess managed to successfully pull Jake off of him. Their faces were both bloody and bruised but Yul had clearly suffered more damage. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

“I believe I should be ASKING YOU THAT!”

Jake struggled to break free but before another fight could break out the girls pulled him over to the medical tent.

“I feel like I should thank you for that…” Grett stated, dabbing a wet cloth at Jake’s damaged lip. 

“No need, I’ve honestly wanted to beat the shit outta that guy forever.” Jake responded.

Grett wanted to laugh but she still wasn’t sure what to think. Sure multiple people have come up to her to tell her her boyfriend is an abusive piece of shit, whatever but now she was starting to see it. On another note, Jake hadn’t expected Grett to walk into the medical tent to talk to him about everything that just happened. 

“So after all that, I’ve been thinking about things with Yul…” 

Jake was already patched up enough so Ashley took this opportunity to gesture for Tess to follow her outside and give the other two space. 

“I really don’t wanna have to betray the alliance I’m in,” Grett continued. “But I’ve been thinking about what you told me and honestly, after everything, I really don’t want anything to do with him now.” 

“Listen I’m not saying you should break up w him now-“ 

“Actually,” Grett interrupted, “that’s what I was just about to do. I will only stay by his side for the alliance alone, after that we’re finished.”

“Why can’t you just leave the alliance and join us? We’ve reached the merge already, we can all join together and get Yul out.”

“I don’t want to betray the others! They’ve done nothing but support me through all of this.” 

Jake raised an eyebrow at her response. “Have they really been supporting you if they’ve been keeping him in the alliance?” 

Grett paused for a moment. Sure it was strategically a better move to keep Yul in the alliance but they could also kick him out and vote him out of the game. It would be a big risk though. If the heros don’t join against him he could join them and they’d have a better chance of getting the villains out. 

“I’ll think about that and discuss with them later. I don’t want to hurt the alliance.”

The woman suddenly pulled Jake into a tight hug. “Thank you for everything,” she said. Jake hugged back.

“And the next person voted out from disventure camp all stars is… Yul”

“WHAT?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN WHO VOTED FOR ME?!”

Yul glared over at his former allies.

“It was one of YOU wasn’t it? I didn’t even do anything that bad! If you had to constantly deal with Grett yo-“

“Yul that’s enough,” Alec interrupted. “I’ve been able to tolerate you simply because it was mildly entertaining to see you get hurt in challenges, but your behavior today was unacceptable. You’re done with this alliance.” His tone was as soft as usual, but his words were firm. 

“Fine, whatever. Just don’t come crying to me when that… thing slows you down.” Yul commented, already walking away.

“Goodbye loser,” Riya hissed. Under any other circumstance she would have said this in a snarky sing-song tone, but to her, Yul didn’t deserve that luxury.

Yul glared one final dagger at Jake. Jake knew he had something to say and he knew exactly what it was, but Yul just continued walking away in silence to where the loser’s bus picked him up.

Chapter Text

It took some time but Grett managed to finally get over Yul. She spent about an hour crying over him after he was eliminated but after a few more days she realized she was happier without him. And it seemed as though she would only grow stronger as the challenges continued. She built stronger relationships with Grett and Alec before they got eliminated, fixed her relationship with Gabby and became very close to Jake. Not only did she reach the finals along with Jake and Gabby but she won. After all the pain she’s been through, all those years and years of hating herself and trying to prove to the people around her that she was worth something, when she was the only person she needed to prove herself to. 

At the end of the day, Grett didn’t know exactly what she was gonna do with three million so she kept a third of it, gave a third to Gabby (who shared it with Ellie) and gave some more of it to Ashley to help rebuild her farm, under Jake’s request. 

Production for the show had finally wrapped up and everyone was taken back to civilization. Everyone hung out in a dining hall in the city where they celebrated the finale and got a chance to catch up with everyone on things.

“There is no way.” Jake chuckled.

“What don’t you believe? That I ate a whole chocolate cake?” Ashley asked, biting into the cake slice that she was currently eating.

“No, that’s easy to believe, I mean your first time with Will was in a car?!”

“Jake I can be just as freaky as you, I just have better shit to do.” The two of them laughed until a familiar figure approached them. It was Tom. Ashley immediately shut her mouth and gently nudged Jake upon seeing the cop standing before the pair in silence. Jake also silenced himself the moment he noticed.

“Hey Ashley can I uh, talk to Jake for a minute?” He asked. The blonde glared at him until Jake told her to calm her nerves. 

“It’s ok Ash, let me handle this.” Ashley nodded, stood up and walked away to talk with Ally.

“What do you want, Tom?” Jake asked, exhausted.

“I just wanted to formally apologize for everything that happened with us over the past few years.” Tom stuttered out. “I’m sorry for playing the victim on our season, I’m sorry for not talking to you for years, I’m sorry for avoiding you and lying to you and-“ 

“Why did you come back?”

Tom paused for a moment. “What?”

“You could have just called me and told me all this. Why. Did you. Come back.” Jake repeated. 

“I um…” the tall man sighed. “I love you, Jake. And I still love you.” Jake felt himself stand up. He had known Tom for years and he had only now realized that this was the first time that he heard Tom say he loves him.

“Jake, you’re the one person who made me feel beautiful when I felt my scars made me hideous,” the black haired man told him, grabbing his hands. “And I just want you to know that you’re still beautiful and perfect to me regardless of what you’ve been put through. I know you think I hate you but I just wanted you to know, I’ve never seen you as disgusting and I would never do that to you.”

Jake felt his heart stop. He was not ready to have this conversation, especially not in this setting.

“Can we like, go outside and talk?” Jake asked. 

“Oh uh of course, let’s go.” Tom answered, pulling Jake outside into the hallway. 

“Tom, did you see-“

“Yes I did,” Tom immediately answered. “I’m sorry, Connor told us not to bring it up, but I just had to let you know because well, you know that I understand… we’ll sort of, not your exact situation, but to a degree I understand what you’re fee-“ 

“Tom, please stop.” The shorter man shushed him. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Tom-“

“No, I mean I… I’m so sorry that happened to you, Jake…”

“…oh”

A brief silence fell among them before Tom piped up. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you say anything about the… other things your ex did during our season?”

“Well, saying that my ex assaulted me various times will get a much stronger reaction than saying he cheated on me wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah that… that makes sense.”

“Well that’s part of the reason. It also took me a while to accept what happened to me and when I did I realized I was the only guy among his other victims so…”

“I guess that makes sense.” Tom repeated awkwardly, “how exactly did you realize it?” 

“When I learned about his arrest.”

“Ah I remember that.”

Jake’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, you arrested him?!” 

“No, he was just one of the first cases I’ve dealt with. God, I remember reading his file and thinking about how sick this man was and how we all somehow knew that he had gone after more than just the seven girls that came forward but… I didn’t think one of them would be you.”

Jake sighed before continuing. “There’s one more reason. After our season ended I went back and watched it and saw what people thought of it and well, everyone seemed to really hate me. I saw so many people saying I deserved the cheating on its own, that Ellie was right and he only cheated on me because I was annoying, then I came to terms with what he did to me and I…” Jake started to cry again. He can’t do this, not in front of Tom.

“Jake…” Tom caressed his face, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. 

“I attempted on my life… it all became too much and I just needed it to be over. I’m sorry for being so weak, Tom.”

Tom felt his heart shatter. He embraced Jake and let the shorter man weep in his arms. They sat like that for a while until Jake managed to pull himself together. 

“Do you wanna change the topic?” Tom asked.

“Y-yeah I…” Jake sniffed. “wait actually I wanna know something else.”

“What is it?”

“What did Ellie say about it?”

“Jake, you don’t need to care about what Ellie thinks of y-“

“What did she say, Tom?”

Tom sighed and answered. “She didn’t say anything.”

“She didn’t care?”

“No like, she didn’t say a single thing to anybody for like two days, she felt really really bad about it.”

Jake wasn’t expecting an answer like that. He was the only one that she truly hated and she was part of the reason why he was afraid to tell his story, so he was not expecting her to even feel a little bit sorry for him.

“Right… so about well… us.” Jake started.

“Jake, I promise from now on I will not ignore you, or ghost you, or avoid you, or anything, I will try to talk to you whenever you need me, I will talk to Miriam too, I’ll even meet up with you in person whenever you want, ok?”

“That sounds good but… I don’t want to date you yet. I need some more time.”

“We had two years away from each other.”

“Yes, and I spent those two years only thinking about you and when you were gonna call me back. That combined with my parents getting worse every passing day, the constant hate and victim blaming online, the coming to terms with the fact my ex raped me, the suicide attempt and everything else easily made those two years the worst point of my life. I need to take time to reflect and focus on myself.”

“Alright I understand, but I still promise to talk to you, no matter what.”

Jake smiled and nodded. “Ok, see you around Tom.”

Jake stood up and started walking away until Tom stood up after him.

“Wait, Jake, can I… can I kiss you?”

Jake stopped in his tracks. He hesitated for a moment but then turned around and pulled Tom into a tight embrace while locking their lips together. Jake hadn’t felt this in years and god did he miss it. He still loved Tom and didn’t think he’d ever stop no matter what happened, but he feared this may be the last time he’d ever kiss him. The two parted after a while. 

“I still love you too Tom. It’s good to have you back, thanks for everything.”