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Toge Inumaki is not going insane, far from it. He believes he is completely stable, mentally, emotionally, physically, and whatever more -ally there is… until a series of "incidents" happened.
At first, he shrugged it off. It was chill and all, he could definitely endure it. But he started losing count of these incidents that he couldn't help but seek advice from his bestie, Nobara Kugisaki.
Which he pathetically regrets. Why did he ever think talking to her was the right choice?
"You're saying is, someone out there wants to kill you for no reason. At all," Nobara said slowly like she was talking to a kid.
"Yesh, dat ish correkt," Toge replied, mouth full of onigiris. He is stress-eating for the stress-inducing situation he is in.
"And this someone is named Yuuta Okkotsu, whom you are planning to file a criminal complaint against?" Nobara probed, and Toge nodded as an answer.
Just like that, everything went silent. It was unnerving, really. Nobara only incredulously looked at Toge like he told her "I tried rebonding a bald guy's transparent hair, and birthed embryo Sukuna along the way."
They are at a small coffee shop near campus with Megumi Fushiguro and Yuuji Itadori. He only invited Nobara out, but she brought the two boys to "stop her from hammering someone down."
Toge honestly did not understand what she meant by that. However, with how their conversation is progressing, Toge is relieved that he is not alone with Nobara right now.
"Okay, let’s just say whatever the fuck you're saying is true, what will you file against Okkotsu, huh?" Nobara challenged, raising one on-fleek brow.
"I olredshi tohld yew," Toge groaned, still chewing his onigiris. "IT'SH ATTHEMPTID MORDAR!"
"Fushiguro, can you please translate that?" Nobara turned to the raven-haired boy, who was busy perfect combo-ing an Eden song in Ensemble Stars.
"He said, 'I think I'm in love with Okkotsu, so I will make it everyone's problem,'" Megumi answered in a monotone voice without looking up from his phone.
Maybe it was Toge that should be stopped from hammering someone. But before he could do anything to Megumi, Yuuji chimed in and asked, "Inumaki-senpai, what exactly did he do to you?"
As if on cue, Toge booted up his laptop and presented a PowerPoint about the list of the so-called Yuuta incidents, like he was waiting for this very moment to happen.
Nobara bangs her head at the table in defeat, because she knows she can’t escape from Toge at this point. Yuuji is so dead to her after this.
It's gonna be a looooong day of bullshittry.
INCIDENT #1: THE REUNION
Toge has been friends with Yuuta since their first year. The latter was scared shitless at him at first, but they became really close after their first volunteer work together around Hapina Shopping District.
The two hang out almost every day; eating ice cream here, or watching YouTube videos there. They are “disgustingly joined by the hip,” as Maki describes them. Or that they are on their “daily dates,” as Panda teases them.
Naturally, Toge dismisses Maki and Panda’s remarks because they only do what best friends do. (...Right?) They have that unique brohood relationship that only they could understand.
Hell, they even formed some habits throughout their very platonic friendship.
One of these habits is Yuuta headlocking Toge with one arm, and knuckles scrubbing against his scalp on the other. Yuuta does that whenever he sees Toge like it is his way of saying “hello” to him.
It seems old habits die hard because Yuuta did that again when he came back from abroad after almost a year of absence doing god knows what.
The almost-murder scene was at the gates of their dormitory. Toge, Maki, and Panda were waiting for their beloved blockmate, Yuuta, with party poppers and cake ready to celebrate their much-awaited reunion.
When Yuuta’s cab arrived, the black-haired man clad in a white polo shirt came into view sprinting towards Toge and almost killed him.
The scrawny, scaredy-cat Yuuta he had known since first year became a d̶e̶l̶i̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ tanned, buffed guy, who is headlocking him with a strong, solid arm for a warm greeting.
Toge gasped for air while giving light punches to let him go. Well, Yuuta did let him go for a second, but he then gave him a bear-crushing hug that almost cracked his ribs.
Toge swore he could see the angels descending to pick his soul up at that moment, only to be distracted by a snickering Panda and smug Maki he caught at the corner of his eye.
INCIDENT #2: WHEN TOGE GOT GOLIATH’D
Months have passed since Yuuta returned, and they spent their precious time catching up with the lost time since then.
Despite everything, it feels like nothing has changed. Yuuta is still Yuuta (except that he turned 100x hotter), and his wardrobe is still a bunch of white or black oversized tees and hoodies.
And Toge dramatically took offense at that. Toge can’t just steal the same-looking clothes whenever he stays in Yuuta's room. Yuuta needs to keep up with his fashion aesthetic, too!
So, without further ado, Toge brought Yuuta to the nearest shopping mall after their class. Yuuta did not question his sudden antics and simply followed him like a loyal overgrown puppy.
Rummaging through various racks of clothing, Toge spotted a good navy blue button-up that would probably hug Yuuta’s body well. It was perfect, and seeing it on a discount sale is a bonus.
“Yuuta!” Toge exclaimed, voice naturally hoarse. “I think this one is cute, and would match your eye color. Can you try this?” Toge could already imagine how it would be a perfect fit as he showed the cloth expectantly to the other.
“Uhm.. I would love to try whatever you like, but I think that one is kinda small for me?” Yuuta supplied, hesitation reeking from his gentle smile. Oh ho, is he doubting Toge’s fashion guide?
“Nah, it’d fit. Let’s get you changed! Come on!” Toge waved off his hand as dismissal and tugged Yuuta’s hand to lead him to the dressing room.
Toge was beaming with excitement that the other boy would find it hard to let him down. “Alright,” Yuuta said fondly, giving in a little too quickly. “Anything for you.”
It was too late when Toge realized how dumb he was because standing before him was Yuuta wearing a very much fitted button-up with biceps popping at the rolled-up sleeves, and the poor buttons holding on with its dear life.
“Ahaha.. ha. Is it good?” Yuuta lamely said, crouching his back not out of shyness, but as if he was afraid he would rip off the fabric.
“Y-yeak,” Toge choked on his spit and tries again. “Yeah, it is good! But why are you slouching like that? Chest up, please, let me see the whole fit.”
And that is when Toge made another realization that he could be dumber because when Yuuta fixed his posture, a button snapped and flew straight to Toge’s temple, catching a glimpse of a tanned, toned chest in the process.
There was no time to watch the descending angels this time because Toge’s face immediately got shoved against Yuuta’s chest as the other frantically hugged him and asked him if he was okay.
Who knew a piece of button could be a murder weapon?
INCIDENT #3: OF BECOMING A DAD
Toge stretched his back after playing Genshin Impact for six hours straight. His eyes are starting to burn, and he feels a little lightheaded. Toge took one last look at his favorite ginger before completely exiting the game.
If he focused enough in his dimly lit room, he would hear Maki nagging at him in his head for depriving sleep for games. She is always the health-conscious one in their friend group.
“Your Childe can’t even crit, is that what you’re sacrificing sleep for?!” Maki hisses one time, judging how his character hit a shameful 1k dmg with food buffs.
“He is just feeling shy, don’t look at him! Tartaglia Childe Ajax is the—” Maki then knocked Toge out to sleep before he could yap how canonically strong Childe is to her.
Looking back, maybe he should’ve listened to Maki. Maybe Childe wasn’t all that. And maybe he shouldn’t have spent six hours grinding for primogems today.
Because right now, in his now full-lit room that was switched on by Yuuta, his best friend cradles in his arms a cabbage-wearing diaper with a little pink ribbon on top of it.
“You are the father,” Yuuta said as soon as he barged into Toge’s room, showing the most preposterous “baby” he had ever seen in his entire life.
His lack of sleep is getting into him, Toge is sure of it. He must be hallucinating. The Yuuta in his room right now isn’t real, and he needed to rest as soon as possible.
“And her name is Cabbagina,” Yuuta introduced promptly.
“W-what? A vagina?” Toge asked, confused and scandalized as hell.
“What? No! Like Cabbage and Gina put together. Don’t ask me where I got the Gina. You weren’t there when I birthed her, so I panicked when the nurse asked for the name,” Yuuta pouts.
The? Fuck? What in the omegaverse he is in?
Toge feels like dying. His head is spinning, his eyes are closing. He wanted to say something to his illusion of Yuuta, but all he could muster was to stare at him and head off to bed.
If he sleeps, this hallucination will be gone when he wakes up. He had hoped.
However, Toge was proved wrong. Yuuta was still there when he woke up. His best friend was sleeping so soundly beside him with his arm atop Toge’s waist.
Toge squirmed under Yuuta’s hold, but he let the arm stay there. He blearily opened his eyes to observe Yuuta’s face. From his long lashes, pointy nose, wild bedhead, plump lips, and relaxed expression, Yuuta is effortlessly handsome.
How come an illusion appears so perfect as if he was sculpted by the gods themselves?
Toge couldn’t resist the urge to cup the sleeping boy’s cheek. It was soft, warm, and oh, he was real, then? He gently tapped Yuuta’s cheek with his slender finger to wake the other up. “Yuuta?”
“Five more minutes, please,” Yuuta whispered and pulled Toge closer in his hold. His eyes were still shut, and a content smile formed on his lips. “Just stay for a bit then we’ll get breakfast after.”
Toge would find that romantic, in all honesty… if only Cabbagina wasn't laid in between them.
-
“ENOUGH!” Nobara growled, slamming Toge’s laptop shut. “I fucking saw there are 20 more slides in your presentation. I don’t have all day to listen to your gay ass.”
Toge scoffed at that, but he didn't pry Nobara’s hand off from his laptop. He had a feeling that Nobara would bite him if he did, or her girlfriend Maki would materialize at the cafe to beat him up for her stead. Either way, he chose peace.
“Yuuji asked for details, so as his reliable senpai, I would gladly share it with him without leaving out any bit of information about the incidents. He deserves as much,” Toge reasoned, hand motioning to Yuuji.
“Actually, Inumaki-senpai, the first incident was enough for me to see that Okkotsu-senpai doesn’t have the intent of killing you,” Yuuji said with a knowing smile.
“Should I retell the story because I’m pretty sure I mentioned that he almost choked me to death that time,” Toge deadpanned.
“Alright, alright. Then, kill him back to get your revenge,” Megumi said with a bored tone. It appears he was done ̶a̶t̶ ̶T̶o̶g̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶u̶l̶l̶s̶h̶i̶t̶ playing his rhythm game. “Would you let yourself be killed without fighting back?”
Megumi doesn’t mean it, Toge can tell. After all, Yuuta was the only person he respected among the 2nd year students. It wouldn’t make sense if he supported the idea of going against Yuuta.
Normally, Toge wouldn’t take such words seriously.
Normally, Toge would just ignore Megumi’s slight jab of a challenge.
But unfortunately, the number of incidents are no longer up to the standard of normal.
“Sure, what should I do then?” Toge asked, intrigued.
Nobara suddenly grabbed Toge’s phone on the table and unlocked it. He gets distracted by that, but he lets her do whatever she wants. Sometimes he wonders if he tolerates her too much.
The girl knows his password; he never told her but maybe she had guessed it right. It is still a mystery how she knew because it was Yuuta’s birthday, not his.
He forgot his conversation with Megumi. He only stared at Nobara tapping on his phone screen. It was nothing new, actually. She could be messaging Maki like she always does with his phone.
But right now, something is… off.
“There!” Nobara said after her business with his phone, slamming it right back on the table. “You can thank me later with free milk tea. I’m heading out first with these idiots.”
Nobara left their table with a hair flip, followed by Megumi who only muttered good luck and Yuuji who gave him a big hug and shoulder pat.
Toge doesn’t know why he needs good luck. All the same, he just tolerated whatever the fuck was that, and simply nodded to them as they left him there.
Now, Toge is alone at the cafe. He opted to stay for a little longer to digest the unreasonable amount of onigiris he ate earlier. He’s a little bloated, as if pregnant for a second Cabbagina.
While watching a person dramatically slip on a banana peel through the windows (how did that even happen), his phone chimed on the table, notifying a series of messages he received.
Maki: toge, wru?
Maki: clean this up, you brat.
Maki: yuuta dropped dead after receiving your text
Maki: and yes ik it was from you
Maki: he have a diff ringtone for your texts
Maki: that's so gay wtf
Maki: i left him at the lounge btw i’m not gonna deal with that
Maki: hurry up and return my nobara to me
Toge: that's so gay wtf
After reading Maki’s messages, Toge tried to stifle cursed words on his tongue. It is now clear that Nobara did something to embarrass him. Is this what he gets for being a good senpai and a bestie to her? Tuna fucking mayo.
Toge summoned the willpower to backread his inbox with Yuuta. He probably looks like an idiot right now because he was serious with the summoning part. His eyes were closed, thumb and index finger pressed together, and cross-legged in his seat.
“Are you okay, sir?” the barista approached and asked politely. Toge opened his one eye to follow the voice. He was handsome, but not as handsome as his best friend who is apparently dead by now.
“Yes, no worries,” Toge replied, gaze shifting at the barista’s name tag. “Thanks for asking, Noritoshi. I’ll be fine.” The barista hummed, putting a fortune cookie on his table before going back to work.
Toge eyes darted at the fortune cookie back to Noritoshi’s retreating form. Confused, Toge pried the cookie open, and it reads: It is now or never. Seize the opportunity.
He stared at the cookie, dumbfounded, and then looked back at Noritoshi who is now at the counter, giving him a thumbs up when their eyes met.
Okay, I got this, Toge said to himself with a sudden surge of confidence. It took him three dreadful minutes to finally tap Yuuta’s contact on his inbox. And the most recent message showed:
Toge: I love you, Yuuta.
[Read 5:13 PM]
It was simple. No pleasantries, no unnecessary words. Just four words that are much more surprising yet also unsurprising than saying, “You are the father,” on a random Saturday night.
It was as if Nobara knew what he had on the back of his mind during those incidents with Yuuta. Or maybe it was not only Nobara who knew. Maybe Yuuta did too.
Probably, that is why it was killing him.
Toge feared saying it outright because he had no rights to do so. He was afraid of stepping on dangerous territory beyond friendship. He thought he might ruin everything, like he always did in his family.
Toge knew that Yuuta is nice; too nice that he could do the incidents to people other than him. He should be happy to experience such kindness himself, but he doesn’t want to share.
He is selfish for someone he can’t call as his. And that scared Toge even more.
Toge packed up his things, and waved goodbye to the barista. A cold breeze hit his face as soon as he opened the shop’s door. It was chilly. Should he buy another coffee to warm himself up?
Amid his internal debate whether to head back to Noritoshi for coffee or just return home empty handed, Toge’s phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw an incoming call from Yuuta.
He bit his lip and stared at Yuuta’s contact picture—an old photo of him smiling with his pet dog—before tapping the accept button. If he were to be rejected soon, he can face it today.
“I love you too, Toge!” Yuuta started as soon as Toge picked up the call. His best friend’s voice trembled a little but way too happy nonetheless.
Toge was so taken aback that he had to recheck if the person on the other line was indeed Yuuta. Once confirmed after 18 times of rechecking, his mind went blank.
Coffees be damned. Toge blushed so hard he felt overheating upon realization. He frantically checked his surroundings to make sure no one saw his moment of weakness.
If Nobara was here, she’d surely embarrass him more until he explodes. Or that she would aggressively pat his shoulder while congratulating him for graduating to his master’s degree in idiocy. He thinks the latter is more likely to happen.
“Hello…? Are you still there?” Yuuta asked. Ah, Toge was busy gay panicking that he forgot to answer back. Clearing his throat, Toge simply said yes. His cheeks are starting to hurt for smiling too much.
“Okay! Come home already, my husband. Cabbagina and I are waiting for you. Dinner’s ready!”
Toge pocketed his phone after ending the call with Yuuta. He then sprinted all the way to where a certain husband and daughter were waiting for him. Toge cuts through a wave of strangers on the streets, saying occasional “sorry” whenever he bumps into some of them.
Running, panting, on repeat, until he finally reaches his destination. Home.
Toge stood at the doorstep of their shared dormitory, giving himself a few seconds to catch his breath from running. The door, however, flew wide open before he could knock, and prepare himself for what is yet to come.
“You’re here!” Yuuta exclaimed, excitedly. He beamed at the sight of Toge. “How was your day? Is the coffee shop to your liking? Maybe we could visit there together sometime! What’s—”
Toge pressed his lip on the other, interrupting the flow of Yuuta’s string of questions. The taller man gasped, but quickly recovered from the initial shock.
Yuuta kissed his b̶e̶s̶t̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ boyfriend back—slowly, passionately, reverently. “I love you,” Yuuta said again, and chased his lips for another kiss to take Toge’s breath away.
“Hey,” Toge said after some minutes of shamelessly making out at the doorstep. “Can we name our second kid after Childe?” he blurted all of a sudden.
Goddamnit. Did he just say that out loud? He is sure Yuuta heard it too, considering the tall man’s half-lidded eyes went wide ever so lightly. Toge hid his burning face with his hands until he heard a chuckle from the other.
“Let’s decide for the name of our second born after we make one tonight,” Yuuta said with a suggestive wink, which made Toge screamed internally. “But dinner is going to get cold, so let’s eat first. I made your favorite, by the way!” Yuuta boasted, letting out a proud huff.
Toge playfully smacks Yuuta’s arm, and tugs him to the dining hall where he spots Cabbagina already seated on a chair, facing the poor, burnt meals on the table.
The whole dinner arrangement looks ridiculous yet endearing. Toge can feel his heart viciously swelling out of his ribcage as he digs into the godforsaken food with his husband and child.
God, Yuuta is definitely gonna be the death of him. And he is okay with that.