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It never mattered to Arima whether or not Taiga perceived him a boy or not, it didn't bother him, not at all. He hopes with their new found relationship they could get over the awkwardness of closeness and just be able to be comfortable around each other. And yet, he's uncomfortable with the thought that he could still be seen as the female heroine that Taiga dreamed of in the beginning, no matter the amount of reassurance, the ache continued. He feels bad about it. In a way, he felt he thwarted a guy's dream of meeting a pretty girl and even the hope his parents could have to see their kid have a girlfriend. He completely messed up that future didn't he? and he selfishly enjoyed that idea. To him, Taiga was his hero, his tiger mask, his loving shoulder to lay on, the one he could never dream to replace. Oh how he loves him, he witnessed my ugly tears and anger, he comforted me, told me things I don’t have the heart to forget.
"Arima, I'm back!" Taiga practically swerved into the room, leaving behind a trail of smoke, oh how dumb he looked all sweaty with all the various snacks in his hands. There he goes again with that fond stare, and it was directed towards him. Towards me, he'd think, "I can see that.. what's all this?" he leaned on Taiga's shoulder the moment he's all settled in next to his seat.
“I got a bit more than usual because I wasn’t sure what you’d like, Arima…”
So thoughtful, so considerate, he just knows the right things to say doesn’t he? His blissfully ignorant attitude just makes him all the more charming in Arima’s eyes. Or maybe he’s already getting into the weird puppy love thing the girls get into.
The empty classroom was cold, but quiet, everyone was either walking around the halls or doing something busy with their friends leaving the space filled with just their words, just them and the rows of tables and chairs signifying there were once lots of people there, but to them only two seats mattered. His and Taiga’s, they weren’t any different from the rest of them and yet things stood out, because it was them and they knew each other. The cold wouldn’t reach their interlinked arms though, so warm and inviting, he’s so content with this spot, god he felt a teenage girl in love with her first boyfriend. And, that was exactly what it was but Arima’s no girl.
“Arima?” He already dug in on his own food but paused, “Do you think you’re free later?” He looked down at his food again, and backed up with a nervous sweat. “IF YOU WANT TOO, WE CAN GO OUT SOMEWHERE!!” and he clutches the sandwich close to his face and hunches over with a twitch of his body. God, why was he so nervous it's been a month since they first started dating. What a dork. Still so anxious whenever they were one on one, just like their first date, dragging along his friends to tell him all the plans and how to have the perfect date, but it was already good enough. They called it their test run. Poor Tetsu and Fukumaru, dragged along with the shenanigans of their inexperienced dating scene.
“What’re you sweating about Taiga, I can't say no to that.” He holds the other sandwich and the various other things Taiga brought, it's just a lot, he’s being careful with him and what he likes and prefers. “You’re too good, Arima,” he says. It wasn't expected but did he feel flattered? yes.
Arima doesn’t have the heart to deny his claim, he was ready to shut him down on that but is it a compliment? A compliment to his boyfriend? When dating, you shouldn’t shut down all the sweet words from your partner. They'll feel bad, well that's what he read at least. “No, Taiga,”
“You’re too good for me,” He let his mouth move before his mind could catch along to his words, “You are so careful with me and I can’t help but feel like you’re more deserving of a better person, regardless of gender. I love your rambling about the stupid things you like or your silly face, as well as your loud voice, and your caring personality. You care too much in my opinion, or maybe you’re just… that way with me.” and with that, he had to leave. That was entirely embarrassing. He meant everything but the gender part, he’d want Taiga to at least get a girlfriend because if the boy isn’t him, it's not fitting, it has to be him. He wants to be the only boy in Taiga’s life that he’ll like this way. He would be able to understand if Taiga wanted to run off with a girl, of course, He can't compare.
Standing up, the chair screeched behind his legs, it was so sudden that the back of his legs felt like they just got bruised, he doubted it worked that way. Taiga is surely to go after him but it's more he didn't want to be seen all googly eyed for Taiga, his boyfriend, he still found it odd to look at each other in such a way. It felt so embarrassing but Taiga was able to do so freely because he could care less or maybe he's oblivious of his surroundings, the tinge of admiration seeping through his lips as he muttered, "Just like Tiger Mask."
He was so red, the heat on his face tingled so weirdly against his hands and face. He didn’t say any of that, please ignore this Taiga, be dense and don’t understand a thing. And the door swung open again, “Why’d you leave Arima! I think you’re just as wonderful! I wouldn’t dream of falling for anyone other than you, you’re so amazing in many ways too, you know?” He’s glad Taiga didn’t go on like he did, although maybe it would be nice to hear all that's observed by Taiga about him, "You really love to make me seem like an upstanding person.."
“I love you a lot, I really do Yuu.” it felt so good to hear, bells rung in his head, a flowery scent emitted from the open windows in the hall, romantic and the spring blossoms matched the shade of both of their faces, “Your acting has gotten better, Taiga.” and "And don't call me by my first name!" it felt so much more vivid to him that wow, they are much closer than they were before. So intimate, it's like how I call him Taiga now. He's gotten to see color through the eyes of Taiga and through Taiga's mind he suddenly felt that the world looked less bleak and less threatening. He could stand on stage alongside Taiga, not yet in boy attire but they're taking steps, steps till he feels less and less nauseous performing that way.
"Oh." There stood Tetsu and Fukumaru, how much did they hear? Fukumaru held a lollipop in his hand and Tetsu held a bottle of water, they were possibly looking for Taiga? "TETSU! AND FUKUMARU! HI GUYS!" and he jumps both of them so enthusiastically that both of them stumble backwards a step or two. Fukumaru threw a thumbs up towards Arima, he was their number one supporter and god, did Tetsu look disturbed, it was such an open form of PDA to profess your love in front of other people. Not that Arima felt bad, he found it funny, humorous even.