Chapter Text
1978
Yesterday was a great day, which always meant today would be a bad one. That was how the schedule worked. On Tuesday’s they did the lights, and Nine could always make them go faster, or brighter than anyone else. Papa would even smile a little. For some kids, making Papa happy was practically a death sentence. The big kids would get mad because they had been showed up by one of the young ones, and somehow they always found an opportunity to get their own back. Papa never seemed to care. He played favourites.
But Nine was always safe, even though she was the best at the lights. Because, well, she didn’t seem to be all that good at anything else. She would never pose a threat to the big kids. On Wednesday’s they did the circle test. Stand in a circle, knock the opponent out of theirs, last one standing wins. It was supposed to be easy. But nothing’s easy when everyone around Nine could move her with just their mind, and all Nine could do was make something out of light. And she couldn’t even do that for the circle test, because they were all blindfolded.
They always drew names for the circle test. Nine just waited for her turn to be over. Some of the kids were nice, they’d push her out gently. But others - the big kids - they found it funny when she was slammed into the wall with no resistance at all. To them, it was the best part of the game.
Papa drew the first number. “Nine.”
At least it would be over quickly.
Papa drew the second number, his face screwed up disapprovingly. “…Eight.”
Everyone looked around and murmured. The orderly suggested they draw a different number, but Papa shook his head. “Everyone is equal here. They play by the same rules. Nine, Eight, step into the circle.”
Papa liked Eight better than Nine, the things she could make with her mind looked so real sometimes. Nine’s always just glowed a bright orange light, no colour or texture or realism. But the issue was, with the blindfolds on, neither of them could really do anything. The first thirty seconds was spent stood in the circle figuring out what came next, with kids giggling to themselves as they watched. Clearly Eight got tired of the laughter, as Nine felt hands against her chest, shoving her out of the circle. She heard Eight wince as the static electricity hit her hands. That was another thing that totally sucked about her powers. No one ever wanted to touch her for fear of being shocked.
Papa sighed. “Not exactly in the spirit of things, is it, Eight? We’ll have a talk later. And you…” he looked over at Nine as she removed her blindfold. “Learn to fight back.”
He tutted, letting Nine take her seat and drawing the next number. Eight was taken out in the next round, and she took her seat next to Nine.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do!” she whispered. “We’ve never had to go up against each other before!”
“Papa is angry at both of us because of you.” Nine replied.
“You just wanted to stand there for the rest of the day?”
“No. But… you could have told me.”
“That would have made him more angry.” Eight said. “He won’t punish you, I’m the one who pushed.”
“Good.”
¶
Eight entered the Rainbow Room late, clutching her abdomen. Everyone knew why, no one ever said it out loud. Nine suddenly felt incredibly guilty. Maybe she should’ve fought back, or tried any way to use her powers. Papa followed behind her, he looked especially happy today.
“Children, would you please gather?” He announced, the kids lining up in order of number as they’d always done. “I have something very special to tell you. Today marks fifteen years since I began this training program. Fifteen years since Two came into this world, and he, like many of you, have made great progress in those years. You’re achieving things humans never thought possible until now. And while there have been… setbacks, I am sure many of you will achieve great things in the years to come. You will all be given an extra hour in the Rainbow Room tonight… Eight, Nine, could you please come with me?”
He led them back to the training room, the chalk circle still not yet cleaned off the tile floor. Eight took a seat in the corner of the room, but Nine hovered by the doorway. “But… the Rainbow Room.” Nine said.
Papa pursed his lip. “I’m sure both of you are at least bright enough to decipher what I meant by setbacks. It would be unfair to the others to reward children who don’t deserve it.”
“You made us this way!” Eight exclaimed. “It’s not our fault we can’t move stuff!”
“You’re both exactly the same as your siblings in origin. I don’t know why you don’t have the same abilities as them, but I’m not the one at fault.” Papa said. He produced two blindfolds from his pocket, throwing them into the room. “Eight. We’re not animals. We don’t push and shove, we use brains and abilities to meet our goals. And Nine, we don’t give up and resign ourselves to failure because we have setbacks. Get in the circle, put on the blindfolds, and figure out how to correctly complete the test.”
He slammed the door shut, leaving the girls alone inside. Nine picked up the blindfold.
“What are you doing?” Eight asked.
“Putting it on.”
“And why should we do anything he asks of us?” Eight bit. “We won’t be good enough for him, no matter what we do. There was no way round it, sister, I had to push you.”
“You got yourself hurt.” Nine sat next to Eight, gesturing to Eight’s sore abdomen.
“I didn’t do anything. He hurt me. There is a difference.”
“He only punishes people when they do wrong.” Nine rolled her eyes. “He treats everyone fairly.”
“Is this fair?” Eight asked. “Our abilities rely on sight, the test was designed for us to fail.”
“Everyone gets the blindfold.”
“Not everyone should.” Eight sighed. “Don’t you wonder where they go at night?”
“Who?”
“The orderlies, the guards, Papa. They put on coats and hats. They live outside. Sometimes I watch them come in, and their coats and shoes are wet. Like rain.”
Nine laughed. Eight always did have an over-active imagination, Nine always figured it came with her abilities. “No one lives outside. Papa says it’s not safe.”
“Papa doesn’t always tell the truth.” Eight said. “Once, something fell out of an orderly’s pocket. It was black, and opened up. There was stuff inside. Paper and metal circles. And a photo.”
“A photo?”
“It was of the orderly, and a woman. And two children. Except… the children wore grown up clothes, and they were outside. There were leaves, and a tree, and a blue sky. Like the drawings in the books.” Eight turned to Nine, tears suddenly appearing in her eyes. “They live out there. And I think… I think they might be the normal ones.”
Nine shook her head. “No. Papa keeps us safe, and he teaches us, and loves us.”
Eight scoffed. “What have you learnt? That you’re not good enough? Papa loves Two, and Ten, but us? We are just setbacks. The world is a big place, Nine. Much bigger than you could imagine. And somewhere, far away, there will be a place where we are good enough. I know it.”
Maybe Eight was right. Papa didn’t love her, and maybe today was proof he never would. “But how will you get to the far away?”
“I don’t know.” Eight said. “But I want you to help me.”
¶
Everything was planned, down to the last detail. They’d spent weeks planning it, after all. Nine knew the choreography like the back of her hand, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to dance.
“You can’t be having second thoughts now, after all the work we put into this.” Eight bit.
“What if the outside is bad? What if Papa was right all along?” Nine asked.
“There’s only one way to find out.” Eight said. “You don’t have to come. But you need me. Whether you come with me or not, I’m leaving tonight, and with me gone, you won’t have another chance. And if they think you knew, they will kill you.”
“No, they won’t!”
“Yes! They will!” Eight said. “We aren’t important to Papa, he only cares about the children who can move things. If you die, you are one less mouth to feed. He will look the other way if a guard shoots you.”
Nine hesitated. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Eight closed her eyes, focusing intently. The Rainbow Room’s doors opened, Papa stepped inside. “Nine. Eight. Could you please come with me?”
Eight and Nine stepped forward, making their way slowly through the Rainbow Room. The children whispered to each other, wondering what trouble the two ‘setbacks’ had gotten themselves into this time. But once the doors clicked shut, the illusion of Papa dissipated.
“I memorised the way to the exit. I followed an orderly one night.” Eight whispered, leading Nine down long hallways. “Wait here, behind this wall.”
Eight peeked out from behind the wall, Nine could just about see a guard by a doorway. Eight once again closed her eyes, and whilst Nine could not see the illusion Eight had conjured, she could hear the guard’s response.
“Yes, Dr. Brenner. Right away.” The guard said, and wandered down a different corridor, leaving the door ready to walk through.
“The last door is guarded, and can only be opened with a card.” Eight said.
“Can you make one with your mind?” Nine asked.
“No. I tried. It doesn’t open the door. But I have another idea. We need to hide again.” Eight said, ushering Nine behind a doorway. “I’ll show you this one. Guards can be so stupid.” Eight giggled.
Another Papa appeared, approaching the guard, who straightened his back in response. “Everything okay, Dr. Brenner?”
“Dr. Ellis is asking for you, something about an injury she found on one of the children. The child claims you caused it.” Papa said, patting his pockets. “Ah! Before you go, I was just going out for some fresh air. But… I seem to have misplaced my card. I’ll only be a few minutes, would you mind?”
“Of course.” The guard huffed, swiping the card against the machine in the wall, turning the red light green and rushing off. Papa once again dissolved into the air, and Eight and Nine made a break for it.
“Get the door, get the door!” Eight yelled, Nine ran forward and pulled the door open just as the machine’s light turned red. As soon as the door was open just a crack, the fresh air hit the girls.
“Is this real?” Nine sucked in a breath of the air.
“It’s real.” Eight smiled. “Come on, we don’t have much time.”
The two snuck through the vast expanse of concrete. The ground bit at Nine’s feet, but she kept running until they were deep in the woodland. Real trees like the ones in the drawings. Nine wondered if animals were out here, too.
“We’re free.” Eight said.
“You were right.” Nine replied, touching the tree trunk, feeling its grooves with her fingertips. “But where do we go now?”
Eight grinned. “Anywhere.”
¶
Nine had never been alone before. Not quite like this. Sure, there was solitary, and night time, but there was always someone on the other side of the wall. Even just that knowledge was enough for Nine to consider it ‘not alone’.
But now there weren’t even any walls.
Eight hadn’t meant to leave her, it wasn’t her fault Nine was slow and short. She didn’t know Nine couldn’t get on the train, but once she realised, she didn’t exactly get off the train, either.
And now Nine was alone, and she wanted her sister, and all her siblings and even Papa sometimes. At first her feet hurt, but now they didn’t feel like anything at all. She now understood why orderlies wore shoes, the sticks and rocks on the ground cut and grazed the bottom of her feet. She knew she should be in pain, but she wasn’t anymore. She didn’t know why. She was also sneezing a lot more now, and sometimes her head felt all cloudy. Maybe Papa was right after all, maybe the outside really wasn’t safe.
Something about being alone, and hungry, and tired made Nine not care anymore. The first few days, Eight was adamant they had to stay in the woods, away from people and buildings. But now Nine was heading straight towards a small building, and maybe people were inside, and maybe they’d take her back home, and maybe Nine didn’t care. Eight lied. There was no place out here better than home.
The building had lots of food, more food than Nine had ever seen, and some she’d never seen before at all. She didn’t have the energy to take it all in, she just grabbed everything she could carry.
“Hey!” Nine dropped the food, swivelling around to see a young boy. He looked about Eleven’s size, and he looked angry. “This is my house, you can’t just take other people’s food.”
Nine paused. “Give me some.”
The boy scoffed. “No! Get out, stranger.”
“No.” Nine said. She’d come too far to not go back rewarded. “Give me some.”
The boy hesitated, glancing down at Nine’s feet with a confused look on his face. “Are you… okay?”
“Give me the food!” Nine yelled.
“Alright!” The boy yelled back, scoffing and grabbing the food from the floor, shoving it into Nine’s hands.
“Go away.”
“No. This is my house, remember?” The boy said. “You can’t go back out there with bare feet. You’ll get frostbite. You look like you already have. Why would you leave your house with no shoes, anyways?
“What’s frostbite?” Nine asked.
“It’s when you get so cold your toes and fingers fall off. Lucas told me.”
“I’m not cold.”
The boy laughed. “How can you not be? It’s practically a snow storm out there and you’re just wearing grey sweats with no shoes. Do you want me to get my mom? She has a first aid kit, and she’ll probably know how to fix frostbite, too.”
“No.”
The boy narrowed his eyes. “Are you a boy or a girl?”
“Girl.”
“Then why is your hair so short?”
“Why is your hair so long?” Nine retorted.
“Mine’s normal! You’re the weird one.”
“No I’m not!” Nine yelled.
“Yes you are!” The boy yelled back.
“No I’m not!”
“Yes you are!” The boy shoved Nine, and he winced as a spark of static electricity hit his fingers. The food Nine’s arms fell to the ground. “Ow! Jesus, what’s wrong with you?”
“Don’t touch me!” Nine yelled.
“Fine. Whatever.” The boy said. “I’m Mike, by the way.”
“That’s a stupid name.” Nine replied.
“No it’s not. There’s three Mikes in my school. What’s your name?”
“Nine.”
Mike snorted. “That’s a stupid name.”
“No it’s not!”
“Yes it is!”
“No it’s not!”
“Mike?!” A woman’s voice called out. “Are your friends here?”
The woman stopped in her tracks as she rounded the corner and found Nine standing in her kitchen. Nine had somewhat been backed into a corner. The woman stood in the way of the door she’d come, Mike stood in the way of anywhere else to go.
“Mike, who’s this?” The woman asked.
“She says her name’s Nine.” Mike replied. “She has frostbite.”
The woman looked Nine up and down, and turned back to Mike. “Did you… meet her somewhere? Outside?”
“No, she was just in here. She wants the food.” Mike gestured to the pile of food in Nine’s arms.
The woman nodded, slowly approaching Nine. Nine was going to get in trouble. She was a thief, and a runaway. Nine backed into the kitchen counter, there was no way out.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, honey.” The woman said. “I just wanna talk to you. Is that okay?”
Nine hesitated. Orderlies don’t want to talk to children, she didn’t trust this woman as far as she could throw her. Which considering the nature of her abilities, wasn’t far at all.
The woman reached Nine, crouching down to Nine’s height. “Did you run away from home?”
Nine scowled.
“You must be pretty cold, can I- ah!” The woman touched her hand to Nine’s forehead, flinching as everyone always did when they touched her.
“That happened to me, too.” Mike said.
“Alright… Nine.” The woman’s face scrunched up at the sound of Nine’s name. “Why don’t you take a seat, okay? You can eat all the food you want, I just need to make some calls. It’s okay, you’re not in trouble, we just need to figure out how to help you and-”
“-No!” Nine yelled. “No people.”
“You need to talk to me then.” The woman sighed. “You said you’re name’s Nine? My name is Karen. Can we try this again? Did you run away from home?”
“…Yes.”
Karen nodded. She chewed at her lip, eyeing the girl up and down. “Do they hurt you at home, honey?”
“…Yes.”
“Okay. Well, no one’s gonna hurt you here. But I do need to help you. Mike is right, you’ve been outside and in the snow with no shoes, you could be hurt. And if you do have frostbite, or an infection, then you could get very sick.”
Nine didn’t want to be sick. It didn’t happen a lot at home, but when it did, Papa made the sick child stay in their room all day and night until they were better. He couldn’t let the virus spread, or no one would be able to train that week. It had only ever happened to Nine once, but it was lonely, and horrible.
“How do you help?” Nine asked Karen.
“I need to clean any wounds you might have. And we need to warm you up.”
“I’m not cold.”
“Honey…”
“I’m not!”
Karen reached forward slowly, touching her hand to Nine’s cheek and this time ignoring the static. She furrowed her brow. “You’re right, you’re not. How…”
“I don’t get cold.” Nine explained.
Karen smiled. “Everyone gets cold sometimes.”
Nine shook her head. “Papa says it’s because I have the light inside me. It keeps me warm.”
“Papa? Is this your dad?” Karen asked, before moving on to a different topic. “…What’s the light?”
“The light!” Nine replied, holding out her hand and producing a small, floating orb of light. “It’s warm.”
“Woah!” Mike yelled. “Mom, she’s got superpower-”
“-Mike, go play in the basement.” Karen demanded.
Nine shied away from the woman. She sounded mad. Eight really was wrong. Even here her abilities weren’t good enough.
“But!-”
“-Now, Mike! No arguments.” Karen turned back to Nine. “It’s okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be loud.” She paused, chewing at her lip again. “If your name is Nine… do you know anyone called Eight, or Seven, or Six, and so on?”
Nine nodded reluctantly. “Eight said not to tell.”
“Is Eight nearby?”
“No… she left me.” Nine’s face screwed up, her eyes filling with tears. The cries came before she could stop them, and suddenly Karen pulled Nine against her, wrapping her arms around Nine’s body. Nine wanted to fight back, but it felt… nice. And for the first time ever, there was no static.
“Okay, sweetie, it’s okay.” Karen said, running her hand against Nine’s buzzed hair. “It’s going to be okay.”
Nine was more terrified than she’d ever been, more sad than she’d ever been, more hungry and in pain than she’d ever been. But for some reason… it really did feel like it was going to be okay.
¶
“Mom said not to tell, but… I have discovered the most amazing discovery known to science.” Mike announced to his staring friends. “I found her in my kitchen two days ago.”
“A girl with a shaved head?” Lucas said. “What’s so amazing about that?”
“Just… hang on. Watch this.” Mike turned to Nine, sitting on the couch in the basement. He held up a toy, something he called a spaceship. “Nine, can you make this out of light?”
“But Karen said-”
“-Forget about Mom! Will and Lucas, they’re cool. They won’t say anything. I promise.” Mike said.
Nine was reluctant, but the boys were watching her expectantly and to be honest, the idea of actually impressing someone with the light was incredibly enticing. She focused on the spaceship, letting a perfect replica form from glowing light as the boys gasped and gawked.
“How did she do that?!” Will gasped.
“Superpowers.” Lucas grinned. “Does she, like, live with you now?”
“I- I don’t know. Mom’s figuring it out.” Mike said. “But she’s staying here for now. Anyways, I figured she needs some friends. And think about how awesome our campaigns would be if we could actually see the monsters.”
The boys gasped to themselves. Mike grabbed something from the table, holding it up for Nine to see. “Nine, this is a figure from the game we play! It’s a unicorn. Can you maybe make one just like this, but bigger?”
Nine obliged. Mike was right, she wanted friends. The unicorn walked across the basement, bowing its head as the boys squealed in delight. No one had ever been so impressed before.
“This is awesome!” Lucas said.
“Yeah!” Will turned to Mike. “Can we really not tell anyone?”
Mike shook his head adamantly. “Mom thinks she’s in danger.”
“From what?” Lucas asked.
“I- I don’t really know.” Mike shrugged. “But Mom says it’s important not to say anything to anyone. So… don’t tell her I told you.”
“We won’t.” Will said. “We promise.”
¶
It had been a rough few days. But in a weird way, the best few days Nine had ever had. She got new clothes, in loads of different colours, and a really soft bed, and stories every night. But Nine wasn’t naive, nothing good could last forever. She was ready to start running away again any minute now.
“She doesn’t even have a birth certificate, Ted!” Karen shouted from downstairs. Nine could hear them easily from the top of the stairs. They thought she’d fallen asleep already.
“We don’t know that! We don’t know anything about this kid!” Ted shouted back. Nine wasn’t sure about him. He seemed to just sit on the couch and watch the TV, but sometimes orderlies seemed lazy until they weren’t.
“Yes, we do! She’s clearly some- some fucked up experiment being kept in a basement somewhere!”
“How, how could you possibly know that?”
“Because it’s obvious! I mean, look at her, the buzzed hair, the clothes. And she’s pale, like she’s never seen the sun. Her name is Nine, it’s tattooed on her goddamn wrist! And… the powers, Ted. I mean…” there was a pause. “If anyone knew about this. If we told anyone…”
“I just think it’s best that we-”
“-Best for who?! Ted, she can barely handle me touching her, how do you think she’ll cope being poked and prodded by some social worker, only to be thrown into a group home or worse? I mean, how do we know that calling social services won’t alert the people that had her? Or just send her to some other mad scientist?”
“I just don’t understand what you want me to do about that.” Ted said.
“We have the guest room. We have the money-”
“-Oh, come on, this is crazy!”
“What’s so crazy about it?” Karen asked.
“You- you just wanna show up at my mom’s place next July, tell her she’s got a grandkid called Nine that didn’t exist until six months ago? I mean, what are you thinking?!”
“Well, obviously we’re gonna change her name! And people foster kids all the time! It’s the same concept, we can just say we’re fostering her, then after a while tell people we filed the adoption papers.”
“We’re not fostering a child, we’re hiding one, we’re kidnapping one!”
“Or we’re saving her from a kidnapper.” Karen paused. “Ted, we can argue about this until the cows come home, but there’s no other option. Throw her in the system? She won’t survive it.”
“Plenty of kids do.”
“Kids that have grown up in this world.” Karen said. “The amount of stuff I’ve had to teach her these past few days, stuff a three year old should know about! School, TV, music. She can’t even read and she’s what? Eight or nine? She will not survive on her own. We are all she has.”
“We’ve known her for four days.”
“And we are all she has.” Karen said. “Even if we had a choice, which I don’t think we do, I would still choose to keep her. I’m sorry, Ted, I’m not changing my mind on this.”
Nine heard the footsteps approaching before it was too late. She scrambled back to her room, but Karen was already making her way up the stairs.
“I assume you heard all of that.” Karen said from the doorway of Nine’s room. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. How much did you understand?”
Nine hummed. “What is the system? He wants to… throw me in it.”
“Not actually throw. It means…” Karen sighed, taking a seat next to Nine’s bed. “Sometimes, when parents can’t take care of a kid, or if a kid doesn’t have any parents at all, they go in the system. It means someone else will take care of them. Sometimes it’s a big home full of kids, or sometimes it’s a family.”
“But I did live in a big home full of kids.” Nine told her. “So I can survive.”
Karen took Nine’s hand. “I know. You’ve survived a lot of scary stuff, I think. But… it’s just complicated, honey.”
“Because I don’t know things.”
“It’s complicated for every kid your age to understand.” Karen said. “But you don’t need to worry about that, right? You heard what I said? You can stay. Do you want that? To stay with me, and Mike, and Ted. And this can be your real home.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know. I would be, too.” Karen said. “But, I think if you left us, you’d be even more scared. And here, you can learn to not be afraid at all.”
“I want that.”
“Me too. Do you want to continue the story before you go to sleep?”
Nine nodded. “Yes, Mama.”
Karen smiled. “Okay.” She picked up the book from the bedside table. One day Nine would learn to read it, too, she was sure of it. “With the instinct of a detective who dared not miss a clue, Nancy deliberately moved closer to the bench where the Topham girls were seated.”
“Mama?”
“Yes, Nine?”
“You said I have to change my name.” Nine said.
“I think so. To keep you safe.” Karen replied. “But, I mean, even if that wasn’t the case, would you really want to be called a number your whole life?”
“No.” Nine replied. “Nancy.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Like Nancy in the book.” Nine explained. “I like her. And it sounds the same as Nine, like Nnnn-ancy.”
Karen laughed. “It does indeed. Is that your final decision? You want to be called Nancy?”
Nancy smiled. “Yes, please.”