Chapter Text
2:17 a.m.
The green hue of the digital clock on the bedside table glowed out into the stillness of the bedroom. The lone occupant of the bed stirred, covers ruffled to her waist, her pale skin stark against the black of the sheets.
Sleep had not come easy this night for Cat Grant. After the day's revelations, questions reeled through the reporter's inquisitive mind, not quieting until the late hours of the evening. So many questions still unanswered, so much left to uncover. Sleep had only come when the exhaustive depths of the unknown and still undiscovered was left to the ever expanding.
The night remained still around her sleeping form, the natural quiet of the night blanketing the room. The green glow morphed ever so slightly. 2:18 a.m.
A whisper of the covers signified the beginnings of movement, Cat slowly stirring into consciousness. A delicate sigh fell from parted lips, and eyes blinked open to the moonlight illuminating the the foot of the bed. Eyes slowly adjusting, she took in the room, the streaming moonlight that bathed the far reaches of the room...and the long shadow cast in the middle of the floor.
A soft rustling drew her eyes to the open doors of the balcony. Arms crossed over her chest, a figure stood leaned against the doorframe, and though the figure was backlit by the moonlight, face cast in shadow, the red cape swayed by the gentle breeze was unmistakable.
"Miss Grant," Kara murmured quietly, a gentle disruption of the night's tranquility.
Raising her head off of the pillow, weight resting on her forearms, Cat took a minute to adjust to the sudden jolt of alertness from the girl's presence. Kara had yet to move from her position in the doorway, allowing Cat a minute of composure.
"Supergirl," Cat spoke, a statement more than a question. Eyes searching out the blue gaze she could not yet see, she continued, "You're here."
"You knew I would come," Kara intoned, voice different than that which Cat was accustomed. Her voice was gentle, lacking the timid meekness of her assistant, yet missing the authoritative confidence that Supergirl presented through all of their previous encounters.
"Or do you have a habit of sleeping with the balcony doors wide open?" Kara continued, and although her face was still in shadow, Cat could hear the hint of the smile that was there and knew she had been caught.
A slight lift to the corners of her own mouth, Cat said, "I suspected you might come." Her gaze lowered to the bedspread, palm absentmindedly splaying open and closed against the sheets, before she continued, "I had a feeling our last conversation is unfinished."
Glancing back up, full smile playing over her lips now, she teased, "before you left, it seemed as if," a brief pause before she continued coyly, unable to resist, "the cat got your tongue?"
Cat knew full well her assistant was more than susceptible to the rosy color of a blush when she was flustered. She idly wondered how it would look paired with the blue of her suit now.
Kara shook her head briefly. Even the remnants of sleep couldn't dull Cat's innate wit and sass. Pushing off the doorframe, steeling herself, Kara said, "We need to talk," her voice regaining some of the confidence that seemed fleeting moments ago.
Cat rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, sitting upright against the headboard now. "This couldn't have waited until morning?" she continued. With an air of nonchalance, she added, "You've seen me when my morning coffee isn't hot. You think it wise to continue when I haven't had any caffeine at all?" she paused to level an displeased glare at the woman in front of her before pressing on.
"And seriously, waking me at this hour, the bags under my eyes tomorrow will be bigger than Lois Lane's ego, not to mention I'll look like that toad faced..."
Her words abruptly fell silent after Kara stepped fully into the room, her face no longer hidden in shadow of moonlight. The exhaustion, the discord evident in her posture and face caused Cat to pause, a sharp intake of breath at the sight, not quite a gasp, but halting her tirade nonetheless. The same disquiet that had plagued Kara's features earlier out on the office balcony was painted over her features once more.
"Miss Grant, please," Kara said, voice broken with desperation and burdened with worry. Standing in the middle of the room, Kart felt bare, just as so when Cat had asked her to remove her glasses. Would she feel so vulnerable every time now in the presence of the other woman? At the mere thought of her? The thought had raged through her mind like an ocean wave over the past few hours, gaining ground with every passing moment of uncertainty that the night held, now cresting as she stood before her.
Collecting her tumult thoughts, Kara continued, "You were never supposed to know who I really am." Kara turned her gaze away, reminiscent of earlier in the night. She took in the room for the first time, a stall of the difficult admission to come--the bookshelf in the corner that held several of Miss Grant's awards; the picture of her and Carter, the brilliant smile Miss Grant rarely ever showed at the office on full display on the nearby dresser.
A deep breath later, Kara said softly, "but now you do."
Kara shifted her weight from foot to foot, the nervousness in her movements reflecting the unease resonating through her entire form.
"I don't..." Kara hesitated, taking a moments pause. "I don't know where we go from here," Kara whispered, voiced tinged with a hint of sadness and trepidation. Gaze turned back to Cat, Cat saw the same emotions coursing in her eyes. And Cat wasn't sure, but perhaps she detected a sense of loss in her voice?
"You've made your empire revealing everyone else's secrets," Kara let her sentence trail off, taking a careful step closer to the bed. Cat could garner a guess where the conversation was headed, the unspoken conclusion to the statement implied through Kara's apprehension.
"It's the scoop of a lifetime, surely you must realize that," Cat sighed, staring up at the girl in front of her. And she knew Kara had worked with her long enough to know so. Such a revelation would be the biggest headline for CatCo since the approval of Supergirl herself.
Kara considered the woman before her for a moment. The relaxed recline on the bed, the soft rise and fall of her chest, breathing even, unafraid. Unaware of the true gravity of the situation, the dangerous disruption of balance she had brought about.
"The people I work with won't allow you to compromise my identity," Kara said vaguely. "My real one," Kara clarified after a beat.
Confused, Cat narrowed her eyes in questioning, "the people you work with?"
"You think I can do this alone?" Kara replied, a touch of disbelief coloring her words. "I could have, if saving the city was my only job," Kara mused, a fond smile touching her lips as she went on, teasing lilt to her tone, "but you see, I have a boss that demands my full, undivided attention."
Kara allowed herself a moment to appreciate the pleased look that danced across Cat's face, and the warm feeling she felt spread through her at being the cause. But the grin at the fondness she held for her boss quickly faded once more from her features once she remembered the nature of their little midnight rendezvous.
"The agency that I work with," Kara spoke with steadiness, "they'll do whatever is necessary to make sure I can keep helping people and protect this city." Kara wasn't ready to fully disclose her partnership with the DEO. But surely the purposeful ambiguity was enough to cause Cat pause to consider the threat.
Pacing the floor, Kara continued, "The only people who know are people I've trusted, people I've chosen to tell." Eyebrows scrunched in contemplation, Kara went on, "Well, except for James, he kind of already knew who I was, even before I did. I mean, before I chose to become Supergirl. So I didn't really tell him, per say, but he was already keeping my secret. I didn't even know I had a secret to keep yet, other than being different, but the whole Superg..."
A sound of a throat clearing interrupted Kara's musings. "You're rambling..." Cat interjected.
"...Right" Kara murmured, eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "Sorry." Cat's grin widened. If there was any doubt that the woman before her and her assistant were one in the same, it proved futile now.
"The point is," Kara began again, returning to her position in the middle of the room, attention back to the woman resting on the bed, "that you're the first person that's discovered my secret that I haven't trusted to tell." Taking a deep breath, point forthcoming, Kara continued, "the people I work with are concerned that you can't be trusted, that you'll destroy the secrecy we've worked so hard to maintain..."
"...that you'll destroy me," Kara finished in a whisper, looking Cat fully in the eyes.
"They wanted to take you in, make sure the situation could be controlled, that you could be handled," and with this Kara paused to let the statement sink in. "Before you had the chance to run the story," Kara continued just as softly, watching as Cat's eyes widened at the admission as she came to further understand the reason Kara stood before her. "But I convinced them not to," Kara said.
Alex had been hell bent on bringing Cat in, making sure she wouldn't compromise Kara. It took an hour to convince both her and Hank to let her try and more diplomatic approach first. Kara could appreciate the protectiveness that came so naturally to Alex, but she needed to figure this one out in a way that didn't completely ruin the life she so carefully constructed.
But if Kara couldn't get through to her, to make her see reason--she didn't want to consider the alternative.
Discerning through the newly revealed information, a subtle twist to the elegant neck before her as Cat's head shifted alerted Kara to the forthcoming question. "How can you be so sure that I haven't already prepared the story to run?"
"They're worried that you may be a threat," Kara implored her to understand, and she hesitated in taking a step forward. "They've been keeping an eye on you all night since the moment my phone rang on the balcony outside of your office."
"Am I in danger?" Cat questioned suddenly. "Is Carter in," she paused suddenly, before gasping, "Carter..."
On full alert, Cat brushed the covers off, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, before she felt the bed dip beside her.
Kara was at her side faster than she knew, quick to assure Cat. "He's asleep," she murmured gently. Unthinkingly she took Cat's hand as she turned to face her, and continued, "He's perfectly fine, I promise". Kara's head dipped ever so slightly as her eyes searched to connect to the startled woman's. "His heart rate and breathing have been steady for the past twenty minutes." Kara assured her, her eyes imploring Cat to trust her. "He's safe."
Cat's own racing heart calmed at the confirmation, her flight reflexes returning to settled as she allowed Kara's reassurances to wash over her. Once her panic subsided, she allowed herself a smile. In her rush to calm her, Kara hadn't realized she overplayed her hand.
Yet.
Cat glanced at the clock. 2:25.
Smirk in place, Cat questioned, "Twenty minutes? I haven't been awake that long."
And somehow the idea of the blonde watching her--or watching over her, Cat considered both--as she slept, resonated something within Cat.
Kara turned forward, her hand returning back to her side from its position covering Cat's own. She lowered her eyes to the floor, looking away, and remained silent, contemplative.
Her boss gave the phrase The Cat caught the canary... A whole new meaning. Especially with that smirk.
"I didn't know what I was going to say," Kara whispered moments later, hands gripping the edge of the bed as if prepared to push off and run. It would be easier, to run, Kara mused silently.
The fragile balance that held her, all the parts of her--the superhero longing to do good, the girl desperate for a sense of normalcy, the assistant that constantly strived to please her boss--threatened to unravel. Kara felt cast into an ocean of uncertainty, without a life preserver, no land in sight in any direction. And the only salvation she knew could save her was in the woman before her.
And she still didn't know what to say.
There was too much to cover. The obvious trepidation of what would happen now that Cat knew-- would she be revealed to the world? The feeling of foolishness she felt at allowing herself to be found out? The loss of normalcy she was sure to incur? Anger? Fear? Loss?
Kara wished then that she were a poet, or a writer, if only to express her turmoil with a shred of elegance. Or grace, perhaps.
...at this point, she'd settle for at least coherence.
She didn't know where to start, or if there was a starting point much less. Emotions were a funny thing, she mused. The idea of them, each fit into their own little label, as if they were strands of string that, while running together in the same direction, could be easily separated, dissected.
They were more like paint colors, bleeding together, causing a dissonance of chaos within her.
"Kara," a hand gently gripping her forearm pulled Kara from her thoughts.
The clamor of Kara's thoughts quieted enough for her to register the gentle touch and the soothed tone from the other woman. "So you are capable of using my name correctly," Kara said, a please note to her voice.
"Oh please," At the challenging lift of Kara's eyebrow, Cat continued, "If I use your name correctly, I have to use everyone else's name correctly." Exasperated, she added, "Do you really think I have enough time in the day for that?"
At Kara's incredulous look, she amended, "Besides, it would imply that I care."
Kara fumbled briefly for a response, some shred of whit or revelation, but settled on letting the silence stretch once more. It was an appeal to Cat's caring that Kara had hoped would save her from their current predicament.
Over the past few weeks, Kara had felt that she and the other woman had grown closer, a tentative, delicate trust building between them. Except now that trust was shattered.
Maybe.
She'd be a lot more sure if she could actually find out whether showing up to work tomorrow morning was out of the question.
"You're different," Cat noted, a question hovering beneath the surface. Cat unconsciously angled her body slightly toward the younger woman as she appraised her. "You're a babbling mess at the office," she noted, before she considered, "adorable, yes, but still."
At this she paused, eyes drawn to the symbol on Kara's chest, the soft glow of the moonlight complementing the blue hue of Kara's suit. "When you're in the suit, you're more confident," she pressed on, her progression of thought taking a more definitive shape as she spoke. "You speak with authority, conviction," she continued.
"And yet here you are," she paused for a brief moment, hands gesturing to the form of the woman before her in consideration. "The hesitancy, the timidness," she trailed off.
"Because it's not Supergirl you'll ruin with this," Kara said, rising from the bed and turning away from the unnerving gaze that always seemed to set her on edge.
She took a step toward the balcony, needing to escape the stifling confines of the room, the stifling confines of her emotions. The admission was too close to the truth, too full of feeling and emotion, too fragile to withstand the destructive force of a passionate Cat Grant, mind set to task.
Cat observed the other girl stiffen, her posture righting itself into a determined poise. Still faced away, Kara declared, "Supergirl will still save the city, help those in need." Her tone turned cooler, the nature of her burden weighing heavily on her words as she continued, "My enemies will grow stronger, knowing who I care about, who they can hurt to get to me."
"I'll have to be stronger, faster," she paused for a moment before she went on, "better." Her voice remained strong, resolute.
"Supergirl will be fine," she determined, finally turning to face Cat. "But I won't be."
Cat could see the fostering pain in her eyes. She seemed to consider the admission, before she questioned, "you won't be?" stressing the first word, as if to question how the hero before her and the woman she knew at the office were two separate entities.
"There's more to me than just the super hero," Kara shot back. "After working for you for years, you can't see that?" she added, the pain in her eyes growing ever the slightest at the thought that Cat might not.
Kara paced to the far side of the room, in a veiled attempt to conceal the pervasive hurt that threatened to overwhelm her. "I just became Supergirl, but I've always been Kara," she stated, before allowing a poignant pause between them. "I was Kara to you much longer than I've been Supergirl," she murmured softer, Cat straining to hear the quiet declaration.
"Who I am to the world, to my family, friends," she continued on "to you," she added softer, before she drew in a measured breath. "I can't always separate it out into black and white." Kara felt on the edge of something--of what she could not quite place. "it's all a part of me."
Truth? Resolution? Undoing? Whatever end she felt was to come about, it was here. Now. She couldn't turn away from it, couldn't run from it any more.
"And you're threatening to tear me apart," she admitted softly, defeated.
Cat moved to stand for the first time, the rustling of the bedspread as she rose alerting Kara to such. Turning to face her once more, Kara took in Cat's form truly for the first time that night--the white camisole, and the way it fell delicately over her form, suggesting it to be made of silk. Just like her sheets.
Cat Grant was a woman of taste, of elegance. Only the finest everything. Naturally the silk camisole she slept in would cost more than a month of Kara's rent. The camisole that dusted the tops of her thighs, how it whispered over her skin with the rise and fall of her chest, the pale skin it left uncovered...
"You could have them come whisk me away, to some unnamed hole in the ground to keep me quiet," Cat said, hands moving to rest on her hips.
"You're right." Kara acquiesced. "Simple and effective," Kara continued, before an upward touch to her lips took residence on her face once more. "You've always been a fan of both."
"You can," Cat stated, her tone growing more confident as she sensed she had the upper hand, "but you won't."
"No," Kara answered simply.
"Why risk it?" Kara could practically hear the report's mind spooling to work. "You would rather risk asking me not to tell your secret, and turn away the biggest scoop since it was speculated that Lois Lane had liposuction," Cat said, her voice more a wondered befuddlement rather than a question.
"She didn't," Cat clarified with a roll of her eyes, considering the woman who had always gotten the better of her. "Not even plastic surgery could fix that," she added, but with a hint of, was it fondness Kara heard?
Kara once remembered seeing a photo of Cat and Lois together in the foyer of the house, late one night when she had come to Cat's home to deliver the week's important documents. There was a bottle of something in Cat's hand that was spraying out to the unseen edges of the photo. Champagne perhaps.
She didn't know why, but the idea of bridesmaids came to mind.
Hmm. She'd have to ask Clark about that one.
"But you'd rather risk exposure by asking me, rather than by forcing me." Kara was brought back to the present at the confident words directed toward her.
When Cat Grant smelled blood in the water...well...Kara would've much preferred to face off against Jaws than take on her boss.
She was backed into a corner so to speak, leaking blood like a water fountain, ship sinking into the icy depths, call off the search, no hope for survivors...
Being the canary, Kara thought, simply sucks.
"I taught you better than that Kara," Cat drove on, her tone adopting the shade of patronization that Kara was so accustomed to at the office. "To go after what you want," she continued to push.
Kara felt the whispers of her tamed anger reach up through her, called forth from the growing fear, the anxiety. The twinge of self doubt that tone of Cat's provoked.
Cat's tone took on a harsher quality, her hands now on her hips as elegant dominance radiated from her form. "You won't get anywhere in this world unless you take control for yourself. You have untamable power, yet you refuse to use it."
"I can't!" Kara's voice rose, her hands balled into fists where they rested at her sides. Seeing Cat gaze toward the closed bedroom door, anticipating her thoughts, she listened carefully, and only heard the silence of the night between them. "He's still asleep," she murmured, quite once more, answering Cat's unspoken concerns.
Kara faced away from her, looking out through open balcony doors, trying desperately to regain a sense of calm, to reign in the frustration. The fleeting stillness and calm she felt earlier, leaning up against the door watching Cat sleep peacefully, felt a lifetime ago. She took toward the balcony, standing in the doorframe, bringing the moon in all of its fullness within sight once more. Kara found herself wishing instead for the sun, longing for the strength that came with it.
She closed her eyes, remarking to herself the paradox of the situation. To long for the sun--to feel apart without its presence, as if a piece of her went with it every time it set; and yet, to feel afraid of its return, and the changes it would surely bring upon it's next rise.
She could almost feel the sun's warmth with her eyes closed just so. But blinking her eyes open once again, she found only the lonely, cool glow of the moon.
Cat spoke of power. The woman exuded dominance. It radiated from her with every step, every word, every employee she sent running and screaming from her office.
Cat Grant was seduced by power--the possession of it, the feeling from it, the dominance that defined it, the control...
If she couldn't be made to see reason, perhaps an appeal of a different sort was in order.
Maybe it was time to give her what she really wanted.
"You're the one who thrives from power," Kara began, voice strong for the first time that evening as she faced the older woman, a renewed conviction set to her features.
"Tell me, Miss Grant," Kara started, voice growing in confidence as she took a step closer, drawing her further into the room.
"Does it make you feel powerful," she continued, eyes devoid of the timid uncertainty that held her in its grip all night, "knowing that even though I have super strength and super speed," and in a flash, Kara used that speed to come to stand behind the other woman.
Lips level with Cat's ear, Kara leaned in to conclude, voice barely a whisper "you're still the one with all the power in this room?"
At the soft gasp that fled Cat's lips, Kara circled around Cat, a breath away from touching her. "That you could have me on my knees," Kara continued, passing in front of her, before her circling continued, "begging you not to tell my secret?"
"To know that you had that control," Kara breathed out, coming to stop in front of the other woman, "that power," she elaborated, "over one of the most powerful people on the planet."
Eyes locked to the ones in front of her, on the precipice of conclusion--of resolution--searching out the truth, Kara whispered, barely audible and with a hint of resignation, "would that be enough?"
The silence stretched on between them. Outside, an airplane could be heard in the distance. The warm night breeze gently wafted in through the open door.
Green glow shifted, another minute gone by.
And the night trudged on.
But something struck Cat, appealed to something unnamed, not yet quantified into something definable. The desperation, the pleading, the vulnerability, the protectiveness..."You won't hurt me," Cat breathed out, eyes searching the blue ones before her for the truth.
"That's why you haven't let them come vet me, why you won't let them take me away," she continued, emboldened. "You're willing to risk everything," Cat concluded, voice gentle despite the conviction with which she spoke, "because you don't want to hurt me," she spoke with resolute finality, not even a whisper of a question evident in her tone.
"It would be easier to," Kara murmured softly, eyes cast downward, knowing that with the truth evident, the only escape was through the woman before her. "But yes."
And somehow Cat knew, even before she asked, that Kara had always protected her, Supergirl or not. They touched briefly on the tendrils of caring that started sprouting between them earlier in the day, but it hadn't yet been given such direct form.
Kara gave her power. But she also, for the first time in a long time, Cat thought, made her felt truly cared for.
Not that she would admit it.
But for now, maybe that was enough.
"Kara" Cat began, drawing the younger woman's eyes back to her gaze. "Your secret is safe."
At the exhale of breath Kara released, Cat went on, "It always was."
"Miss Grant," Kara whispered, relief evident in her voice.
Stepping past the younger woman, her arm the barest of touches as she passed by, Cat strode out to the open balcony to look out into the night. The warm night breeze ruffled her camisole as it, gently teasing her blonde curls.
If Kara wasn't so preoccupied with her newfound relief, her conscious mind would've found Cat a sight, standing in the night in her white camisole with the moonlight casting her in a soft glow.
Good thing Freud was right about that unconscious thing. Filed away for later, it wouldn't be the last time Kara contemplated those thoughts.
Cat could hear Kara take up residence in the doorway once more before she continued. "Supergirl is my creation," Cat said, pride enriched in her words as she her arms stretched out to take hold of the balcony banister. "I named her, gave her voice," she went on, her statement trailing off into the open air.
She turned around to face Kara, "Supergirl didn't save me yesterday" she recalled. "It was you," she spoke quietly.
"You're mine too," she concluded, voice strong with certainty, yet, the softer tone that had encased her words all night was just as present.
Kara thought she could get used to this tone--this softer side of Cat, quiet strength, yet gentle--that she rarely got to see.
"And honestly Kara, at this rate I'm going to need you to wear a name tag to know which side of you I should be addressing," and with that she drew a quiet laugh from the younger woman before her.
Cat's eyes softened, along with her voice, as she murmured, "Or maybe you could just teach me,"
A tender moment of silence passed between them, ladened with unspoken understanding and perhaps something more, before Cat resumed her confident poise. "But you Kara, you were mine first," she said, finishing her earlier thoughts.
The trace of softness present in her tone was no longer, replace by a harsh conviction as Cat concluded, "No one ruins what's mine, Kara." She paused for a moment, before she noted with certainty, "not even me."
Kara's eyes closed in relief, a breath of air escaping and her posture falling to ease. "Thank you, Miss Grant," she replied, the look shared between them still eclipsing the quiet intensity of the night.
A moment later, her ear piece clicked to life. Kara thought this was the hardest challenge of the night--not the fight with Non, nor facing Cat in her desperation, the delicate balance of her life threatening to shatter--but looking away from the woman before her, breaking the unspoken intensity that had reached a peak between them.
Eyes lowered in concentration, her sister's voice informed her that Non had been located again, her attention now required elsewhere.
"I have to go," Kara sighed, a whisper of regret in her tone.
Cat's grin returned as she replied, "I'm sure it's very important," mimicking their conversation from earlier in the evening.
Stepping forward, bringing herself beside Cat, Kara moved to the edge of the balcony, preparing to take flight.
"Kara," the sound of Cat's voice and a warm hand on her arm halted Kara's movements further, causing her to glance sideways to take in the other woman.
"I do know." Cat assured her gently, her hand stroking down the strong arm beneath it in further reassurance. Softer now, she clarified, "I know that there's more to you than just the super hero."
She might have seen a hint of a blush creep up over Kara's face.
Or she may have been too distracted by the brilliant smile she received in return.
Cat held Kara's gaze for a moment longer before moving forward, returning through the doorway, "8 a.m," she intoned with her normal authority as she made her way back toward the bed. "And my coffee better be hot," she concluded with a smile of her own firmly in place.
Red cape billowing in the gentle breeze, Kara spoke softly for the last time of the evening, tone much lighter now that the unpleasant heaviness of the night's situation had been resolved for the moment, "Of course."
And then softer, "Goodnight, Miss Grant."
And she was gone.