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Growing up with nothing more than a rag doll she’d stitched together for company, Rey never really had a chance to study the nuances of social interaction. Each day was just a struggle for survival, each person she met simply an enemy or an ally, and nothing more. Even with a limited idea of how friendship, courtship – any sort of relationship, really – was supposed to work, Rey knew that there was something beyond camaraderie between herself and her new friend, Poe Dameron.
Theirs wasn’t a bond forged in the heat of battle, as was the deep trust and loyalty between herself and Finn. Rey hadn’t met the Resistance’s best pilot until the very end of their struggle, and even then it was only a brief, euphoria-induced hug and an awkward introduction. She hadn’t gotten to know him personally until much later, when they had both spent every minute they could spare watching over Finn as he recovered, making small talk and playing with BB-8 to while away the time.
BB-8’s devotion to Rey made Poe warm to her instantly, and he regaled her with anecdotes about his beloved co-pilot with a fond smile and a twinkle in his eyes. On her part, Rey learned more about the Resistance, his missions as a pilot, and most memorably, about his home world Yavin 4, where lush blues and greens reigned as far as the eyes could stretch. Hearing about Rey’s piloting capabilities, Poe offered to give her a formal training in flying the X-wings. In between soaring the skies and caring for Finn, Rey supposed they became friends.
But Rey wasn’t oblivious to how his gaze lingered on her when he thought she was unaware of it, or how often he bit his lip, as if valiantly trying to hold back some secret that was about to be revealed. Yet, all his efforts were undone whenever he held her gaze – his dark eyes, sharp and determined whenever he was flying, softened the moment he met hers, brimming with adoration, and his warm smiles turned wistful when she broke contact. He looked at her as if she were more precious than the skies and the stars that were his lifeblood.
At first, Rey was stunned by the intensity if his gaze, unused to inspiring so much raw emotion in another. She was alarmed by the implications, and clueless as to how she should respond. She couldn’t deny her attraction to the pilot – even at their brief first meeting, she had been drawn by his sincere smile, and his easy confidence. And frankly, he was a beautiful, beautiful man.
As she spent more and more of her time with Poe – their flight training often ended with a shared meal, or a stroll through the base, or even hide-and-seek with their bouncy BB-8 – Rey began to enjoy his none-too-subtle regard for her. She felt her face heating up under his gaze, basking in the warmth and the glorious feeling of being wanted.
Frustratingly enough, she was still unsure if it meant anything at all. Whenever they spoke, Poe was all heartfelt smiles and kind words, but he kept a careful distance between them. Rey wondered if he’d heard of the handholding incident from Finn and decided to back off, settling for the occasional longing glance.
Which is why she felt absolutely devastated when she began to notice certain things about Poe Dameron. Specifically, Poe Dameron with people that were not her.
Poe was universally popular within the Resistance. His easy grace, his handsome features, and strong work ethic appealed to everyone - superiors, peers, and even droids. Combined with his charming personality, he won the hearts of everyone around him. He only needed to utter a few kind words, give a quick pat on the back, a boyish grin or a wink, and he had his audience swooning.
When Finn finally recovered, Poe took it upon himself to show Finn around the base and introduce their friend to everyone around. Rey noticed that Finn and Poe’s interactions were markedly less strained than those between herself and the good pilot. They hugged fiercely and clapped each other on the back with easy camaraderie. And sometimes, perhaps after recounting a particularly painful memory of his black past, Finn would look at Poe with eyes laden with emotion - gratitude? love? – and Poe’s gaze would be just as soft, just as warm.
But one afternoon, she decided she had had enough of not understanding people and their confusing ways.
Rey was passing by the base hangar with BB-8 trailing behind her when she saw Poe in the distance, along with two of his fellow pilots. Noticing Rey and BB-8, Poe turned to take his leave before joining them. He hugged one of his pilots, ruffling his hair affectionately, and pressed a quick kiss to the other’s cheek, as she batted him away with a resounding laugh. In response, Poe took her hand and kissed it instead, grinning cheekily.
Rey watched the exchange, her confusion mounting. She felt as if she had grossly misinterpreted everything that had happened since that meeting in the briefing room. She had thought they were friends, and maybe something more, but judging by what she’d seen and heard, she hardly felt as if they were friends at all. Or was she misinterpreting this too? What if what she just witnessed wasn’t just friendship either?
Rey saw BB-8 looking up at her, beeping worriedly. She shook her head at the little droid, turned and walked away as fast as she could. She felt hurt and betrayed (‘But there was nothing for him to betray,' she thought angrily). What she needed now was to clear her head.
As she left, she heard BB-8 beeping frantically in the distance.
***
Rey returned to her quarters after a few hours. She had been strolling aimlessly in the forests just outside the base, drinking in the greenery and calming her mind. When she returned, she had analyzed her emotional turmoil over the whole matter, dismissed it all as nothing but foolish sentiment on her part, and decided not to think about it for the rest of her time here.
At least, until she spotted the very subject of her confusion at her doorstep, looking forlorn and confused himself.
“What are you doing here?” Rey asked without preamble.
“Rey!” Poe jumped at her voice. “I was just…you weren’t at the base for a while so I was worried and came looking for you,” he uttered. His warm smile didn’t hide the wistful look in his eyes.
Rey felt that this was as good a time as any to clear up any lingering confusion. She opened the door and motioned for him to come in.
She closed the door behind him, took a deep breath, and turned around to face him.
“Why?” she asked. Simple, and to the point.
“What do you mean?” There was genuine confusion written all over Poe’s face.
“Why do you care whether I’m here or not?”
At this, Poe struggled visibly, running a hand through his tousled locks and trying to look anywhere but at Rey.
“Because we’re friends, and that’s what friends do,” he replied, finally looking her in the eye.
That wasn’t good enough. Rey wanted explanations.
“It doesn’t seem so to me,” she challenged.
“Okay,” he sighed resignedly. “BB-8 told me this might happen.”
“BB-8 told you?”
Rey was incredulous for a reason. The droid only spoke Binary, and all they could glean from him were vague impressions of emotions, and nothing much else. Curiously, said droid was nowhere to be seen.
“Yes, he actually dragged me off to my X-wing as soon as you left, sat me down, and typed all he had to say so that I could understand. That’s part of the reason why I’m here.”
At Rey’s silence, Poe continued.
“So we’re friends, that’s true – at least, I think that’s true. But I feel like I’m much closer to you. I care about you more than you might know.”
Rey saw the earnestness in his expression, his eyes pleading her to understand what he wasn’t putting into words.
“But you’re so much closer to your friends. I’ve seen you-”
“Yes, I know what you’ve seen. But you have to understand, that’s how I am with all of my friends! We tease each other, we hug, we play silly pranks on each other. That’s how I am with all my pilots, Finn, even BB-8” Poe cut her off, looking more and more forlorn by the minute.
Rey paused, looking away from Poe and trying to make sense of what he was suggesting.
“What makes us… different, then?” she uttered slowly, locking her gaze with the dark eyes before her.
His smile returned at this, and he inched a little closer to where Rey was standing.
“Do you think I train all of my friends on my Starfighter, or send my droid to find new sweets for them to try after each flight? Or take them to see the forests outside the base, or let them borrow BB-8 for hours at a time?”
He hesitated, and added, “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to see you smile.” He looked at her shyly, eyes soft and as warm as she’d ever seen them.
Rey took in all this calmly. She hadn’t realized that he would go to such lengths just to make her… happy?
She wanted to give herself more time to think, and thought of diversionary tactics. The mention of the ball droid reminded Rey that he was, oddly enough, not at Poe’s heel.
“Where is BB-8? I haven’t seen him anywhere around.”
Poe bit back a laugh, and moved even closer to her. He gently touched her cheek with a warm hand.
“He thought I should do this alone.”
Rey’s mind was reeling. The smooth caress of his fingers was a surprising, but not unwelcome, distraction.
“Do… what?”
Poe’s face was only inches away from hers, and she felt weak under the full intensity of his eyes at such close quarters. And oh, weren’t they beautiful.
“Tell you that friends don’t do this either,” he whispered, and closed the distance between them to press a chaste kiss on her lips.
It was brief, but Rey felt as light as a free-falling X-wing, complete with the stars in the background. Poe still cupped her face, looking at her expectantly. She felt as if she ought to do something, but her mind still reeling, she was at a loss. She settled for wrapping her arms around him. In turn, Poe pressed small kisses to her neck.
“It’s sweet that you were jealous,” he whispered in her ear, amusement lacing his voice.
Rey huffed. “I was not.”
It was then that they heard a few suspiciously familiar beeps outside their door, and the sound of someone hastily rolling away into the distance.