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They called you the school's player.
princess charming.
hot-shot.
the one that got away, which is the stupidest one in my opinion. How could you lose something you never had?
And the boys call you the freaky-chicks magnet, I despise that one.
I hate all of them.
But you smile when they call it, wear the titles on your sleeves like it's tattoos, you're proud of this? of being a womanizer?
You're a sick human being.
Is the exact words, I told you when you tried to approach me.
For some reason it made you go quiet.
•
You sat beside me.
During science class, you sat at my desk, ignoring your friends as they berated you with questions. The main ones being why are you not going towards them, but you just shook your head, and walked past them.
You sat down, and didn't say a word, so neither did I.
You were oddly quiet with me. You're usually the loudest in the class, and bothered everyone, especially the silent (weird) kids like me.
But you didn't say anything, not once looking in my direction, just watching the teacher, something you rarely do.
You surprised me with your actions.
I wanted to know what was wrong with you, wondered if you bumped your head or something, and forgot how to act.
I dug my nails into my palm, biting my bottom lip, and then I realized I didn't care enough to ask.
I knew you'd be talking the next day.
•
I was right.
It was B-Day, I had no classes with you, but I caught a glance.
You sat on the bleachers during lunch, laughing, as the comedic friend of your group, bounced around, probably saying a dumb joke that would make my skin crawl.
I don't know how long I stared, but soon your head turned in my direction.
You noticed me.
Looked me straight in the eyes, and stopped laughing, almost immediately, it was the strangest thing I had ever seen.
I guess your friends thought it was as well, because soon they began shoving you, trying to gain your attention, but your eyes never left mine.
I furrowed my brows, deciding to be the first to break eye contact.
I shifted the books in my arms, before looking up to see you smiling at your friends, who were most likely teasing you, but you only smiled. Didn't get up and play-fight like you usually do, just sat and listened.
It was odd for you.
I shook my head and began walking down the field because you weren't any of my business.
•
You sat by me again.
And again, and again.
Every A-Day, at 10:35, you'll be at my desk, sometimes before or after me, it's the only class you make it to before the bell rings.
You still didn't speak, only focused on your work, your friends still tried to bother you, but you ignored them. I noticed the tight grip on your pencil, whenever they do, it irritates you.
I didn't know you felt so passionate about science.
•
You finally did it, you snapped.
You shouted at your friends to leave you alone, you surprised them, the class, and the teacher, and you especially surprised me.
They quickly muttered apologies, deeply shocked by your strong reaction, it was something you rarely did.
As a response, you lowered your head toward your paper, silently. Then the teacher cleared their throat and began talking again.
After a moment you lifted your head and looked at me. I frowned, as you opened your mouth, and spoke.
It was the first time you said something to me, and it was an apology for yelling, for them bothering you. Why did you just apologize for something that had nothing to do with me? Why are you apologizing to me, when you should say it to class for disturbing them?
Why are you even apologizing?
Especially to me?
•
you're mad.
I can tell by the way you balled your fists, and how it shook against the table. Your clenched teeth, and for the years I've seen you, I never saw you pissed before.
Not even when that one kid spilled milk on you, or when someone accidentally threw a paper ball in your face.
You just shrugged it off, never once yelled, or berated them.
So whoever did this to you, struck a nerve.
I asked you if you were okay.
You just nodded, and pressed your lips together, turning your mouth upwards into something you believed was supposed to be a smile, but it just looked forced, weak, and sad.
I frowned and then asked again.
This time you sighed, shook your head and said no.
You surprised me with your honesty, I didn't think I would get it this soon, or ever.
I wanted to ask why, but also didn't want to push my boundaries, so I just smiled, as kindly, as I could, and told you that I hope you get better.
And the smile you gave me was so genuine, that once again you surprised me.
•
You told me your name like I didn't already know it.
You even held out your hand, and said, "Hey, I'm Sophie Moore."
Full name like you were a stranger on the street, like you weren't the talk of the school, or we haven't been walking past each other for years.
I nodded, and then said, "Hi, I'm Ryan Wilder."
You only smiled, and said you know.
Then my brows furrowed, and I told you, "Well, I know yours too."
You just laughed, like I said something hilarious.
•
You talk now.
About almost anything and everything that comes to your mind.
Movies, shoes, sports, and even politics?
You just ranted on and on and weren't bothered by my lack of response.
One thing I did notice was you weren't annoying about it. You would make sure I finished my work, before speaking, waited until the teacher was silent, and most surprisingly you waited for them to tell us it was okay to talk.
You were being considerate of others.
Now I honestly know you bumped your head.
•
You try to talk to me when we're out of the class.
I ignore you like the plague.
You'll walk up to my locker, or lunch table and start speaking, and I'll just stand up and leave you there.
I know it was rude of me, but I honestly didn't know why you were talking to me.
When you could be laughing with your friends, flirting with random girls, you came to me?
Why?
•
You told me, you wanted me to be my friend.
And I...
I didn't know what to say.
You wanted me to be my friend? Talk to me at lunch? Laugh with in the halls? Outside friends? Skipping class friend?
I didn't want any of that with you, so I said, no.
Then your eyes widened, and you seemed hurt by my response. For some reason I wanted to take it back, and tell you I was sorry, or joking, or find a better and kinder way to say it.
But I decided not to, and I just turned my head towards the board.
And you didn't bother talk to me for the rest of the period.
•
You didn't speak anymore, you did stare though.
At lunch, your eyes were on me, during class, in the halls, and sometimes (especially) at drop-offs.
One day I finally snapped and asked you what you wanted.
And you frowned, like you were confused by my outburst, then asked what did I mean.
I told you, you've been staring.
You seemed genuinely surprised like you didn't know, you've been staring a hole into my head every day.
I could tell you were embarrassed, you muttered an apology, and I shrugged it off, and told you it was fine.
You didn't stop.
It's the first time I didn't mind something you did.
•
The school noticed.
The teachers noticed you weren't getting into trouble anymore.
The students noticed your stares.
The principal noticed your good grades.
I don't know if your friends noticed but they seemed to tease you constantly.
One day a teacher approached me and congratulated me.
I was confused and asked what for.
And they said, for changing you.
I didn't understand.
How did I change you? A person I barely talked to?
I smiled, and didn't say a word, because what am I supposed to say, thank you? No, I would be admitting to something that wasn't true.
I didn't change you.
•
Random girls glare with jealousy at your attention, so if looks could kill, I'll be a dead woman.
Random boys smirked and licked their lips, like the horny teenagers they were, but I ignored them.
Your friends point and laugh, but not at me, at you. They laughed so hard at you, sometimes I see tears forming in their eyes. Why are they laughing at you, especially about me?
I notice you never laughed back, you didn't even smile when they did, you just glared.
Sometimes I'll see your mouth move, and they'll just roll their eyes at what you said, and continue.
You didn't like the jokes and seemed to despise them.
I wonder what they're saying.
•
All of your friends didn't make jokes.
One seemed to not like them as much as you do.
They stared at me too, so differently from yours though. Yours didn't feel harsh like theirs.
This friend, this girl, seems to hate me.
I wonder what I did to her for this hatred?
I wondered what the jokes were for her to despise them as much as you do.
•
It was a crush.
The joke was about your crush.
I found out one day in the bathroom.
You didn't even deny it, as they constantly teased you about liking someone.
No, they constantly teased you about me.
No, I couldn't be your crush.
How can you probably like me?
I wasn't what you went for. I wasn't a cheerleader, I didn't go to parties, I never even truly talked to you.
I never did anything!
I was just being me, so how do you like me?
•
I talked to you today.
I told myself it was because I wanted to figure you out, find out how you changed, why you liked me, and it's not because I wanted to.
You seemed surprised, happy about me saying something, anything to you, even if it was just a simple, "hi."
You had smiled, and the corner of your nose crinkled as you did, I don't know why I noticed that, and I blamed the mission. You waved your hand, awkwardly, and I think you hated yourself for doing it, you turned towards the board, shaking your head.
I chuckled and asked you about the thing you were telling me about. The thing you talked so much about weeks ago. The Humanoid Robots, you learned about in class, you thought it was so cool, and spoke passionately about it.
you were surprised that I remembered.
I think I even surprised myself.
I asked if you wanted to be an engineer.
You told me it was something you never thought about.
I told you, you should look into it, and you might like it, and you agreed, immediately.
Your quicken caused me to laugh, and you weren't even embarrassed, you just smiled, softly.
•
You sat at my table.
As soon as I walked into the cafeteria, you would move away from your friends and come to me, they don't even fight anymore.
You never talked unless I said something to you. You would just sit there and watch me read, or you would pull a book, and read, while I ate.
One day you pulled out a book, called Structures – or Why Things Don't Fall Down by J.E. — and a notebook that seemed to have everything in there about it.
You became so passionate on the subject, and I only suggested it to you yesterday.
I told you, my dad was an engineer.
Then you asked me to tell you more.
I smiled and told you everything. You listened, closely, and even asked questions, ones that made you sound interested.
•
I expected you to stop talking to me.
During the last days of our junior year, I never expected you to approach me and ask for my number, which I hesitated about, until you insisted, saying you didn't want to lose me, then quickly added, "as a friend, of course."
Yeah, of course.
During the summer, you would ask to hang out with me. Sometimes you invite me to hang out with your friends, others it would just be us.
When it was just us, you would come over, and drive me to the most random places. Sometimes it's an arcade or the park, once you ever took me to the arts museum.
One day after you dropped me off, I decided to invite you inside, and my family seemed to adore you even more than...
You started to spend a lot of your time at my house. You would sometimes stay for dinner, or play video games with my brother, or you and I would sit in my room, and watch movies.
You were comfortable.
You even started to call my parents, Ma and Pops.
( I asked you why one day, and you simply said it didn't feel right calling them by their first names. )
I noticed that you were there when I wasn't.
You wouldn't dare go inside the house when I was away, but you would be there, outside in my garage with my father.
Worked on random projects, and even helped fix one of the broken-down cars in the driveway.
I watch you ask my dad multiple questions, and he smiles and answers them as best as he can. I could tell he was happy to have someone to work with, since Marquis and I weren't interested.
My mom told me she was glad, I became your friend.
My father said he was happy to have you around.
Marquis said that you were pretty cool.
My entire family seemed to love you.
•
And I liked you.
Or I liked what you did, or how you spoke to me.
You started holding my hand, or grabbing my wrist, when you talked to me about something you were excited about.
You would greet me by hugging me, you wouldn't let go until I did.
I started to stare, almost as much as you do.
You smile, and wink, when you catch me.
And I would just roll my eyes.
I liked you a lot.
I didn't know why, but I do.
I had a crush on you.
•
We were hanging out with your friends, sitting on our cars parked by the lake, they drank while we both sat back and watched.
You had my hand, in your lap, your thumb caressing against my palm, I believed it was a subconscious action.
One of your friends, Kate? I believed. She was the one who glared holes into my head. She asked you if you were going to a party next weekend, that some guy named Oliver Queen was hosting.
Immediately you said no, which surprised me but shockingly not your friends.
Another friend, Tyler, chimed in, and said that you haven't been to a party in months, and insisted that you should come.
You still said no.
Tyler sighed, rolling his eyes, before turning to me and asking if I would come.
I don't know who looked at him crazier, you, me, or Kate.
During my high school years, I have only been to one party, and I hated it. Despited the smell of booze, and the amount of drugs.
I grimaced, and before I could say no, you did.
You spat it out, aggressively.
He just shrugged you off and asked me again. I could feel your touch tensing over mine.
Finally, someone else spoke, it was dark skinned girl, with braids, her name was Calliope, she had pushed Tyler, who, drunkenly fell back against a tree.
She told them to leave us alone, and that the Queen's party was going to be lame anyway, and said that she didn't understand why people go to them.
Which started an argument between her and Tyler, gratefully taking their attention away from us.
I squeezed your hand, and your head turned to mine, and instantly your eyes softened as they connected.
And I realized I was stupid, for ever thinking you didn't like me.
•
You were a coward.
And so was I.
You never once came onto me, never touched me inappropriately.
You were respectful, and kind.
At first, I waited, until you got the nerves to say anything, but you never dared to.
You just took what I offered and accepted.
So I told you I liked you, surprising both myself and you.
But you surprised me even more when you kissed me.
•
On the first day of senior year, we walked into school, holding hands.
Some students were surprised, but most didn't care, because they had all seen it coming.
Out of your group, I was closest to your friend, Iris.
She was the one who told me, that this was the happiest she had ever seen you.
And I think I am the happiest I have ever been as well.
•
You got accepted into Knights College.
And I'm going to Central City University.
You held me the night we found out and told me how much you were going to miss me, and didn't want me to be alone.
So I reminded you, that Iris was going there as well.
As a response you grumbled, kissed my neck, and said you were jealous of Iris.
I didn't know if you were joking or not. I never asked, I just laughed and pulled you closer.
I told you, I'll miss you too, and almost said something that I wasn't sure was true yet.
•
When we said goodbye, our friends called us dramatic.
In sync, we flipped them off, and they laughed.
After our graduation party, we lay in my bedroom, surrendered by packed boxes of clothes.
We were kissing, hands exploding each other's bodies. My hand rested on your cheek, as one of yours laid pressed my shoulder. Your other slowly moved up my thigh, and my fingers snapped around your wrist before you could reach my area.
your brows furrowed as you looked up at me.
And with hesitation, I told you, I wasn't ready. You kissed my hand, then my lips, and held me for the rest of the night.
Your actions felt like love.
•
I met two girls, Star and Angelique.
Star was a tall brunette, who had no filter whatsoever. She was hilarious, and the captain of the women's soccer team.
She was Iris' dorm mate and Angelique was mine.
She is a quiet roommate and only hangs out with them when Iris forces her to.
Star told me Angelique liked me, and insisted that I should in her words "bang her". Both Iris and I laughed at her, which confused the brunette.
I told Star about my girlfriend, and she immediately apologized and asked why she had never seen you on campus.
I told her about how you lived miles away, and how much I missed you.
she told me, she understood, and she missed her boyfriend more as the days went by.
His name was Dick Grayson.
•
Almost a week later, you surprised me on campus.
You confused me when you didn't answer my call, only to find you leaning against my car, smiling, as I walked towards you.
My eyes widened when I saw you.
I immediately dropped my bags and leaped into your open arms. You caught me, lifting my feet off the ground. You repeatedly pressed your lips against my head, whispering into my ear, how many you've missed me, and I tell you the same.
As we separated, I kissed your cheek, and you smiled.
We decided to surprise Iris as well.
You had me knock on Iris's door, and wait for her to answer. You barely let her say hello, before you jumped out from the side, scaring her. She let out a scream and ended up punching you in the nose, you said it was worth the pain.
Though you weren't the only one having surprises.
A brown-haired boy stood in the living room, shirtless, with shorts on. His eyes widened, cheeks flushed, and I nearly laughed at him.
You glared at him, eyes watching him like a protective sister. Iris shoved you for it and told you Barry was a nice guy.
When you noticed I agreed, you relaxed a bit.
You met Star and Angelique, and while the fair-skinned girl seemed to not like you, almost instantly you and Star became best friends.
Star told you, that I had you wrapped it around my finger, and said the proof was the lipstick on your cheek, that you never wiped away.
You didn't deny it, just smiled, almost like you were proud.
I shook my head, and brushed my thumb against your cheek, removing the lipstick.
And that night, while we lay in bed, I asked why you never wiped your cheek, and you told me you wore my kisses like tattoos.
you're a cornball.
Is the exact words, I told you.
You just laughed, and whoever said distance didn't make the heart fonder lied.
Not only was I more fond of you as the days went by, I love you more as well.
•
Our first time was beautiful.
It was the day you had to leave, we were alone in the dorm.
you were kind, gentle, and patient.
your touches felt like you love me, and I love you.
you frowned, "what?"
my eyes widened, I didn't realize I had said it out loud.
My chest rises and falls, as you waited for my response.
I swallowed, "I love you."
Your face broke out into a wide grin, eyes shined with happiness.
Now I don't understand why I was so scared.
"I love you."
Then you kissed me.
"I love you."
You pressed your lips against mine again, and again, until I laughed.
•
I remember the words people used to say when we went to school.
"This is the longest I've ever seen her chase someone."
"you're a challenge for her."
"After a while, she'll get bored of you."
I used to believe them.
But one day I just stopped waiting for the day you'll get bored.
I believed that was the day you told me you loved me.
Or the way you looked at me the day at the lake.
Or how you held me.
I can't choose because there are so many reasons I love you, and you love me.
and that’s enough.