Chapter Text
August
The sound of a pen clicking echoed through the vast bedchamber, accompanied by the gentle rustle of papers. Afternoon sunlight streamed in from the open window, bathing the ornate desk where August sat in an orange glow. Papers awaiting his signature were scattered across the surface, forming a precarious pile on his never ending to-do list.
August’s gaze lingered on a particularly lengthy document, detailing his next state visit scheduled in just two days. He knew he should have started reviewing it weeks ago, but other matters had taken precedence.
Now tasked with meticulously reviewing the pages dictating his schedule for the next week, August felt the beginnings of a headache creeping in. The list of dignitaries and their spouses seemed to stretch on endlessly, a jumbled list of names, dates, and locations that overwhelmed him.
August could feel the strain behind his eyelids as he squinted at the words, which seemed to swim across the page in a blur. He massaged his temples, trying to ease the tension that had settled there. Every detail on the visit had to be carefully considered, but his brain felt like it was blanketed in cotton.
With a sigh, he sets his pen down, the sound abruptly stopping, and leans back in his chair. He’s been sitting at the desk in his room for the better part of the day, and the air in his chambers was starting to feel suffocating.
Giving up on getting any work done, August gets up from his office chair and stretches. He hears his neck pop when he rolls it. Gingerly, he walked over to the window by his bed and pushed it open. Fresh air blows in, bringing in the smell of grass from the grounds below.
His room, like all the chambers in the castle, is nicely furnished, blending old-fashioned elegance with modern touches. An ornate four-poster bed occupied the center of the room, the sheets neatly made. A housekeeper had come in a couple hours back, when August was having lunch alone in the grand dining room, to tidy up.
Leaving his room, August makes his way down the familiar hall of Drottningholm Palace. He keeps his pace slow, not in a hurry to get anywhere. The long, familiar hallways stretch before him, almost giving him a sense of tunnel vision.
Despite the heaters blasting on high, there’s still a lingering chill in the air, a reminder of the palace’s age and vastness. Portraits of long dead monarchs hang along the wall, their stern gazes following their successor as he strolls by. Each painting tells a story of power and legacy, adding to the weight of responsibility that August carries on his shoulders.
Turning the corner, August makes it to the shining double doors of the castle’s largest sitting room. It was the main meeting place for social calls and less formal crown business. As he makes his way past, the hinges of the heavy doors creak open. Alerted by the noise, August turns around and comes face to face with Wilhelm as he makes his way out of the room. August watches as Wilhelm turns his head and locks eyes with him.
Wilhelm walks over, a small smile playing on his lips. August gives a tentative smile back. Wilhelm had long since left the monarchy. He never truly fit into the role dictated by the crown and ultimately gave it up to try and pursue a different path–and to be with Simon, of course. August thinks he might have resented Wilhelm a little for dropping the burden on him no matter how enthusiastic he was about it during their schooling days. After years of living under the expectations of the crown, August had started to understand why Wilhelm wanted to get out. He himself was unfortunately to blame for a large part of Wilhelm’s trauma and pain.
Their relationship had improved over time, but an underlying tension remains, lingering consequences of August’s past actions. He still holds responsibility and regret for the choices he made during his teenage years. Time has given him perspective on his childhood and upbringing. In the end, he can’t truly fault Wilhelm for doing what was best for himself, even if it left him with the responsibilities of the crown.
Having finally reached the spot where August had paused his walk, Wilhelm nods at him and asks, “Hello August, how have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Good,” August replies, “Were you just talking with the queen?”
“Yes, I was just talking to Mamma about the wedding. I was double-checking that her and Pappa were still attending.”
“Oh yes, Congratulations again. You and Simon must be ecstatic. When’s the wedding?”
“It’s happening in two weeks, and I really hope you can make it. I haven’t received your RSVP yet. Some of our friends from Hillerska would love to catch up with you. We’ve finalized the guest list, and you, along with Mamma and Pappa, are invited. Nels is coming too, and he’s bringing a plus one, which is exciting!”
“Oh yes. I must tend to that. I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to formally respond yet. I’m glad you were able to get the guest list sorted. I know your mom was advocating for a larger reception.”
“Oh yes,” Wilhelm says with a sigh, running his hand through his hair, “I had a long conversation with her about that. She wanted to invite a bunch of dignitaries since I'm technically still associated with the crown, but I told her that Simon and I were adamant about keeping the wedding to only family and friends. She tried to convince me that the extended guest list would be a good way to make important connections, but I told her I don’t need such things anymore. I left her world for a reason, and I have no interest in rejoining the royal circus. Sorry August, that may have come out a bit harsh.”
With a small shake of the head August reassures, “No, Wilhelm, it’s okay. I’m glad you're happy.”
Although slightly hurt by the comment, August understood where Wilhelm was coming from. Back in their Hillerska days, he had a hard time understanding why Wilhelm was so adamant on rejecting his privileged position. However, after doing the job for a couple years, he’s started to understand the immense pressure that came with it. Sure, Wilhelm had plenty of personal issues he needed to resolve; but looking in a mirror, August himself had come to the realization that he too has many issues he needs to work through. The pressure of the position had a way of intensifying problems that he himself had swept under the rug.
He sees how happy Wilhelm is with the life he’d built for himself. Wilhelm now works as a counselor at an LGBTQ youth shelter while taking classes to earn a teaching degree in psychology.
“So, are you doing anything special before you tie the knot?” August jokes halfheartedly.
“Oh yes,” Wilhelm responds, “I think we’re just going to go out with some friends to a bar or something. Felice insisted on planning something, but I told her Simon and I didn’t need a bachelorette, especially since we are both bachelors. We also didn’t want to split up the group and have two separate parties.”
August knows he’s not invited to the bachelorette party, and he’s honestly not surprised. Even if he were invited, his schedule with the state visit wouldn’t allow him to attend. Although he and Wilhelm have made up over the years, the tension still lingers. He suspects that his wedding invitation was more a gesture of courtesy than a genuine desire to have him there.
Noticing his wandering mind, Wilhelm asks, “Is everything ok, August? You look tired.”
“Yes, I’m good,” August responds.
“You sure?” Wilhelm pushes, “Are you getting enough sleep? Have you been eating enough?”
“Yes.” August replies with a slight grimace. He knows Wilhelm means well and he appreciates the concern, but his condition wasn’t something he liked to talk about. It took him a long time to come to terms with the fact that he may have an eating disorder. He was able to hide the symptoms rather well until he started his military service. Missing meals meant he was often low on energy and often lightheaded. His relentless pursuit of perfection, combined with his drive to excel in his regiment, eventually took its toll. The constant fatigue started to make him lag behind the other cadets which just made him push himself more. His body had finally given out one day during drills and he was taken to get properly diagnosed. It all turned into a giant shit show when the news reached the court and of course, to make things worse, Wilhelm was informed. He may not hold the title of prince anymore but his mother was still the queen and she still insisted on talking business whenever her son visited. He knows the behavior irks Wilhelm, but he usually puts on an appeasing smile and lets his mother continue. After all, he’s still the one who got to walk away from the crown at the end of the day.
August was also aware that Wilhelm had continued going to therapy after leaving Hillerska and replaced his old therapist, Boris. Although Boris had a tendency to pry at painful memories, August had to admit that the old man knew what he was talking about. Wilhelm had openly expressed to August his gratitude for having Boris back in school as he worked through his personal challenges related to his family and relationship with Simon. Wilhelm had dealt with a lot of personal self-hatred and anxiety and had come out the other end stronger and happier. With all the advice he got through therapy, he also recommended it to August hoping that it would also help with his insecurities. Wilhelm had tried, on countless occasions, to talk to him about his diagnosis but August usually just ignored his prattling. In some ways, he still can’t believe the person who finally got him to change was Simon.
“You don’t need to worry Wille. I’ve been taking care of myself.”
Wanting to change the subject, August asks, “So, who else did Felice manage to drag to your bachelorette?”
Caught off guard, Wilhelm responds, “Well, Madison is flying in from America and staying with Felice until the wedding. Simon has invited some of his friends and Sara of course. I think she’s also bringing her coworker from that veterinary clinic she used to work at.”
August was taken aback by the mention of Sara. She hadn’t crossed his mind in ages. He missed her in those first few years apart. It was painful to listen to Wilhelm casually talk about hanging out with her and Simon. He wondered how she was doing, especially after Hillerska closed down and she had changed schools. He knew very little about her time in Marieberg but he knows she was bullied for her ADHD. He felt ashamed to admit that he had stalked Felice’s Instagram to get an idea of how she was doing. He would never forget the last words she’d spoken to him: ‘It will pass’. In a way, it did.
Unable to hold back his curiosity, he asks Wilhelm, “How is she doing, Sara?”
“Good, I think. Simon calls her every week to catch up. She just started her new job at a stable about an hour outside of Stockholm. I think she’s been really enjoying the work. Always calls to gush about the new horses that get brought in. I was surprised at first when she quit her job at the clinic, but she seems to be really enjoying herself. I’m just glad she didn’t lose touch with Lucas. He’s such a nice guy, always giving us a discount when we take Millie in for her checkups.”
Listening to Wilhelm talk, he can’t help but wonder who Lucas is. Was he an old boyfriend of Sara’s? Why were they so close? He doesn’t know why he cares so much.
August watches as Wilhelm peers down at Erik’s watch, which he still wears, and startles. Moving quickly, he says, “It’s getting late. I need to get back before Simon comes home from the studio. It’s my turn to cook. It was really good to see you, August.”
Saying their goodbyes, August watches as Wilhelm makes his way out of the Palace. He doesn’t think about it often, but Wilhelm’s presence often leads him to contemplate the position that he inherited. He’s not sure if he’s jealous of the life Wilhelm chose. He likes his role and the monarchy, but he can’t help but think what his life would have been like otherwise.
Sighing to himself, he continues with his walk around the castle. He knows thinking too hard about his life choices would do no favors for his sanity. Before he could take another step, the door to the sitting room opens again revealing the Queen.
“Oh, good August.” Kristina states, “I thought I heard you talking with Wilhelm. Will you come in for a second please? Have you gotten the chance to look at your schedule? I think Ferima made some changes to the plans for the state visit.”
Sighing a little to himself, August enters the sitting room closing the door behind himself.