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English
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Published:
2024-05-18
Completed:
2024-07-20
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31/31
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Band of Troubles

Summary:

Frustrating party members? Annoying employers? Monster attacks? Whatever, I'll bullshit my way through and survive no matter what!

Join Zeke, a half-elf bard, on his first day as an adventurer! Spectate the struggles of a bard dealing with his headache-inducing party members and misfortunes. Can a glib tongue solve everything in this world? Well, let's just roll the dice and find out!

Updates once every two days!

(This is a story inspired by a D&D oneshot campaign that I played with my friends)

Chapter 1: Meeting the Employers

Chapter Text

The nightlife in the inn's bar was rowdy as usual. From the loud drunkards happily drinking their problems away, the brunette waitress busily moving from table to table with a tired smile in hopes of landing a few extra coins in her pocket, to the shady figures that eyed for any potential targets for the night, it was a scene that I'd grown used to. However, there was one thing that made today different from any other day.

"Hello, my name is Zeke, and I'm a bard. I'm looking forward to work with you all!"

It was the fact that today was my first day working as an adventurer. Although it was a dangerous job with a high mortality rate, it was also a job filled with dreams and the potential to make it big, along with the romance of traveling around the world.

'I don't really care about any of those, though.'

Right now, I'm too preoccupied with giving the best first impression that I could to my employers. Just like how any performance depended on the first few seconds to attract the audience's attention, my current job also depended on the first impression that I provided to them.

'Slight bow, check. Confident smile, check. Eye contact, check. Yep, I got this in the bag.'

After checking my posture once more, I had no doubts that I'd given the best first impression that I could. My gaze was focused on the dwarf sitting ahead of me, who was briefly inspecting my appearance. His eyes momentarily made contact with mine before he finally responded to my introduction.

"Just sit back down; you're making my neck hurt from looking up at you," he said rudely while waving his hand dismissively.

'Ha? Look at this bastard. Is he picking a fight with me?'

His words stabbed me deeply, but I managed to maintain the smile on my face. Years of dealing with jeers from drunk bar patrons during my performances had prepared me for this. By now, swearing off someone's entire family tree while keeping a smile on my face had become an indispensable skill.

"Of course, thank you, sir." I replied calmly as I sat back down in my seat while keeping the same friendly expression on my face. No matter how much I wanted to flip him off, doing so wasn't an option in the first place since he was the employer for my first job as an adventurer. By extension, it also meant that he was the one holding the coin purse for our reward.

'Hooo, calm down... I can't fail my first job just because I can't hold my temper. How am I going to get a job as an adventurer if my first one is a failure? My track record will be ruined.'

After I pushed my anger down my throat, I noticed the human next to the dwarf looking at me apologetically.

"Sorry about that, Zeke. Gunther is just a bit on edge from the tasks that he had to deal with recently. He's not usually this cranky, I promise," he said while scratching the back of his head.

Despite the rugged facial features on him, his dirty blond hair, and his lightly tanned skin, he seemed to be a much more understanding person compared to the dwarf. Being treated with respect after the crass treatment from that dwarf felt as refreshing as a glass of ale after a long performance.

"Stop saying unnecessary things, Goldar! Let's just get these over with so we can get down to business!" Gunther yelled back at Goldar before pointing to the person to my left, "You! Introduce yourself now!"

The person on my left responded by taking off the hood from his cloak, revealing his long, white hair, dark copper skin, and pointed ears. His sharp eyes were hard to read, giving off a haughty aura that I'd expected from an elf. He briefly looked at my less pronounced pointed ears before taking his gaze off, which ticked me off.

'What? You got a problem with half-elves, leaf lover? Piss off and mind your own business!'

I couldn't care less about whether he's an elf or a goblin as long as he could do his job, but I didn't like how he looked at me. Was he one of those elitist elves that would look down on half-elves? If he was, working together as a team might be an issue. As the bigger man in the party, I decided that I would do my best to set aside any prejudices for the sake of completing my first job without a hitch.

The elf remained seated with his hand in front of his chest as he gave his introduction, "I'm Leoric, a ranger. Pleased to meet you."

"Hm, alright. Then you, introduce yourself." Gunther acknowledged Leoric's introduction before pointing at the last person in the group.

Her eyes, which had remained closed throughout the entire conversation, began to open slowly, akin to waking up from a deep meditation. Her dark eyes lazily glanced towards Gunther as her red-skinned hand brushed her short, wavy hair past her curved horns.

"...Seraphina, monk." She briefly introduced herself without bothering to give any pleasantries.

My eyebrows rose after hearing her introduction. While I've personally known some tieflings during my travels, seeing one as a monk was quite a rare sight. It probably couldn't be helped, as I haven't been visiting the sort of places that would attract monks in the first place.

'What would I do if I visited a monastery, anyway? Die of boredom?'

I discarded my idle thoughts as Gunther cleared his throat loudly to get our attention, "Khm! Now that you've introduced yourselves, I guess it's our turn. First, my name is Gunther, the merchant who hired you lot for this job."

"And I'm Goldar, Gunther's bodyguard." After Gunther finished speaking, Goldar introduced himself. "First of all, thank you for coming here. We appreciate the help."

"No, thank you for hiring us. We're just doing our job in the first place," I politely returned Goldar's thanks. It was vital for me to appear as humble as possible during our first meeting.

"Damn right it's your job; that's why I'm paying you in the first place," Gunther interjected.

'Ah, fuck. What's this guy's problem? Why does he keep taking the piss on me?'

His words struck a nerve, but I managed to hold my grievances in as I replied, "Haha, you're certainly right, sir. We know that you've hired us for an escort job, but could you provide us with some details before we start?"

"I was just about to explain it; quit yammering for a moment," Gunther retorted before he began rummaging through his knapsack.

'Hey, did I do something wrong to you? Why do you keep doing this to me, man?'

I could feel my blood pressure rising from his snarky comments. If my future employers would act like this to me, I think I'd die from stress before a monster could kill me.

In the meantime, Gunther finally found the item that he was looking for and began opening a scroll, which turned out to be a rudimentary map.

"As you already know, I've hired you all for an escort job. I need you to escort some supplies and tools to a mining city a day's travel away," Gunther explained as he pointed on the map. "We'll need to travel by sunrise if we want to arrive on the same day while the sun's still out. Of course, we already gave some leeway with the travel time just in case we ran into some trouble."

The route didn't seem that complex based on the map, as it merely followed a trail through the plains and forests. Although having to wake up early would be a pain, it was a much better alternative than traveling in the dark through the wilderness or camping out. If it could get me out of sleeping on thin blankets covering the cold, hard ground while being forced to eat those tasteless preserved foods, I would be willing to wake up as early as necessary.

Goldar continued Gunther's explanation, "However, we have some concerns about attacks during the trip, whether it be bandits or monster attacks. While I'm confident in protecting Gunther by myself, defending the supplies would be a different matter. That's where you come in."

Leoric raised an eyebrow in response, "Monster attacks? Like... goblins?"

"Yes. Of course, there are other monsters in the area that could threaten us other than goblins, so I hope everyone will be prepared for anything."

"Hm, I see..." Leoric murmured with a glint in his eyes.

'At least someone's passionate about this job. I won't have to worry about working hard by myself.'

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I saw how Leoric was taking this meeting seriously. It would be the worst-case scenario if I were the only one who would be working hard while everyone else only followed along half-heartedly.

"So everyone's gonna be going together in a convoy?" Seraphina asked.

"Bah, I would rather not be cramped together with my supplies. Me and Goldar will be riding our own horses to go ahead of you. I'll need to prepare some people to handle our supplies anyway," Gunther answered.

"We'll be expecting you to keep the supplies safe with the three of you," Goldar continued where Gunther had left off.

"Will it be alright for both of you to be traveling by yourselves? Won't it be safer for us to go together?" I raised my concerns with them.

"Nonsense, I won't let myself be slowed down by you lot! Besides, Goldar is good enough to protect me." Gunther denied my suggestion loudly.

'Chill out man, I was just worried for you. Who's gonna pay us if you end up dead from a wolf attack or something?'

I didn't like how my concerns for my employer's wellbeing were dismissed so rudely. What could possibly be so important for him to risk going with just the two of them, anyway? It's not like the supplies will arrive faster if he arrives earlier than us.

Goldar reassured me, "Haha, you don't have to worry. Even if I'm only one person, I'm confident in at least running away with our lives intact. Besides, I'm a pretty good fighter himself."

His hand rested on the sword adorning his waist. The scabbard looked weathered, similar to its owner, proof of the fights Goldar must've gone through. If they insisted, I would rather not doubt them and bruise their ego.

"...Understood. We'll make sure to keep your supplies safe in your stead." I nodded my head as I promised to them.

"You better be! None of you better be thinking about taking some of the supplies for yourself. If I see anything missing, I'll make sure that none of you will be getting any jobs in this town!" Gunther strongly warned us.

'You're doing this on purpose, right? Are you trying to pick a fight with me or something?

I was starting to believe that this dwarf was picking on me out of spite. I could only hope that any dwarves that I met in the future wouldn't be this rough.

"Don't worry, sir. Your supplies are in good hands." I smiled as politely as I could while hiding my thoughts.

"Hm, we'll see about that. Anyway, that's all for the briefing from me. Does anyone have any other questions?" Gunther asked as his eyes swept across the table.

Seeing no one speaking up, Gunther nodded in satisfaction, "Good! Well, me and Goldar will be going ahead to discuss the trip. You lot can mingle here or whatever, but you better not get yourself drunk and show up late! If you don't show up in front of the inn by sunrise, I'll be docking your pay!"

After giving his ultimatum, Gunther took off from the table. Goldar silently waved goodbye with a smile before following Gunther to a different table.

'Phew. That's a decent start, at least.'

Aside from Gunther's horrible temper, I'd say our first meeting went pretty well. After convincing myself that Gunther was simply a passionate man about his craft, I could feel my ill will against him lessening.

'I won't forget that he was an asshole, though. That's that, and this's this.'

As I finished noting down my grudges against him, I noticed Leoric was offering me a handshake.

"We'll be working together for a while, so let us both do our best, Zeke." Leoric spoke with a serious look on his face.

I wasn't expecting him to offer me a handshake first, based on how he was looking at me earlier. However, I couldn't be more pleased with how focused he was on his task. The nightmare of me having to do the work by myself had fully dissipated as I firmly returned his handshake.

"Yes, let's do our best, Leoric!" I happily responded to his remark.

"I'll make sure that none of those goblins will get past us, I promise." Leoric nodded as he released his handshake.

'Man, it's good to see someone this passionate in my group. But what's up with the goblin talk? It's not like we're going to be exterminating goblins tomorrow.'

I couldn't help but wonder about his choice of words, but I put those thoughts aside. I turned towards Seraphina to offer a handshake, but found her missing from her seat.

"Hm? Where did Seraphina go? Did she go to her room already?"

My eyes scanned the room in an attempt to find her. If she already went to her room, I guess I could just introduce myself in the morning before the trip or during the trip itself.

'It's a shame that she left without saying anything to us, but it couldn't be helped.'

Just as I was about to give up, I spotted the tiefling on the other side of the bar. Feeling relieved that she hadn't left, I began approaching her.

"Hey Seraphi-"

Unfortunately, my words were cut short as I spotted her pickpocketing the bar's waitress.

'What the fuck are you doing, Seraphina!!!!'

Trouble was brewing before the job had even begun.