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Scorpius Malfoy’s Guide to Being a Menace

Summary:

After a blissful first year of being stay-at-home parents to young Scorpius Malfoy, Hermione Granger has decided to head back to work! Join her husband Draco on his first full day of being a solo stay-at-home dad. Unfortunately for Draco, Scorpius doesn't plan to let him have a peaceful time.

Then, a visit to the Grandparents where Narcissa is all too eager to leave Lucius alone with young Scorpius.

Essentially just two chapters of Scorpius Malfoy torturing the Malfoy men.

Notes:

Prompt:

 

Fish out of water/ comedy of errors: a day in the life of daddy taking care of their young child on their own for the first time.

Suggested potential fathers:
Severus Snape
Lucius Malfoy
Draco Malfoy
Tom Riddle

Chapter 1: Daddy Knows Worst

Chapter Text

Hermione smiled across the table at Draco as he cleaned Scorpius up after his breakfast. The boy babbled happily up at his father, clapping his hands, and trying to grab at the cloth Draco was using to wash his face.

The clock chimed 8:00 am, and Hermione took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to leave her brilliant little boy home for the whole day.

Hermione loved being a mother and had extended her maternity leave as long as possible for her position in the Care of Magical Creatures Department at the Ministry of Magic. But after a full year at home with her boys, it was finally time to head back to work. Thankfully Draco was happy to spend the rest of his life as a stay-at-home dad, so childcare wouldn’t be an issue, but she’d still miss seeing his adorable face all day long.

Draco scooped Scorpius up, the two of them following Hermione over to the floo where Draco tried to get Scorpius to “wave goodbye to Mummy” as she called out for the Ministry atrium and spun away in green flames.

“Alright little man,” Draco said, looking down at the smiling baby in his arms, “looks like it’s just you and me today.”

Draco wasn’t worried about this though, in fact while he loved the last year, he had gotten to spend with Hermione taking care of Scorpius together, he had always dreamed of being a father and couldn’t wait to spend the next 10 years before his little man went off to Hogwarts teaching him all about the magical world and having fun.

Today, Draco thought, would be easy and fun.

By an hour later, Draco realized this would not necessarily be correct.

He was sure it was an accident. The baby powder he was using while changing Scorpius’s diaper had suddenly flown up in the air and dumped itself all over his head, coating his hair, face, and clothes in white powder.

It was then that Draco learned just how difficult it was to watch a baby alone, not having anyone to keep an eye on Scorpius while he showered and changed, he had instead used his wand to siphon off as much of the baby powder as possible, leaving his entire body feeling extremely dry.

By lunchtime, Draco was beginning to wonder whether the baby powder incident had truly been an accident.

After what he felt was a very successful rest of the morning spent reading children’s books and playing with a model quidditch set, Draco had set Scorpius down in his highchair and set about putting together some lunch.

Draco presented his son with a nice plate of cut up cheeses and meats, and some fresh fruit, delighted by how Scorpius clapped his hands excitedly at the spread. Satisfied, Draco turned back to make himself a sandwich.

Suddenly Draco felt something hard and wet smack into the back of his neck. Jumping he spun around to find that Scorpius and his highchair were no longer where he had placed them at the table.

In fact, upon looking around the room, Scorpius and the highchair were nowhere to be seen.

Then Draco froze, something else slammed across his face, this time what appeared to be a piece of pepperoni.

Looking up, he saw Scorpius and the highchair floating by the ceiling. The boy laughing and clapping his hands happily while tossing food items down at his father.

“Scorpius,” Draco screeched in a panic. “Get down off the ceiling this instant!”

Scorpius simply laughed and threw down a piece of cheese that bounced frustratingly off Draco’s nose.

After two hours of countless spell attempts, a lot of yelling, then a lot of pleading, and finally some crying (Draco would prefer to pretend the crying never happened), all while being pelted with a variety of foods, Draco was slumped on the floor still staring at his son floating in a highchair above the kitchen.

Then inspiration struck! A broom, of course! Draco could simply accio his broom, fly up, and grab Scorpius.

“Accio Firebolt 3000,” Draco cried, and he waited as his broom flew into the kitchen from the broom shed outside.

Grabbing his broom, Draco quickly mounted it and shot up towards his floating child.

Suddenly, despite having stayed in one spot for the entirety of the two-hour food attack on his father, Scorpius and his highchair were zooming around the kitchen as Draco struggled to catch up.

30 minutes later, Draco exhausted and clinging to the broom while he yelled out at his son to stop, Draco suddenly heard the floo go off.

“Draco!” “Scorpius!” A voice called. “Mommy is home!”

Draco groaned, how could he possibly have let the day end up like this, Hermione would never trust him again.

Despite his lack of response, Draco could hear Hermione’s heels clicking closer to the kitchen. She rounded the corner and Draco froze, mind scrambling for whatever apology he could think of to address the situation she was about to find.

At the sight of her, however, Scorpius squealed with delight and both Draco and Hermione watched in shock as his highchair began to lower back towards the ground.

Hermione raced over to him, swinging the boy up into her arms and cooing at him. “Did my baby figure out how to use him magic?”

Draco breathed a sigh of relief, at least he wasn’t being yelled at.

Touching down to the floor of the kitchen, Draco hurried over to greet his wife.

“How was your first day back at work, love?”

“Busy,” she replied, “but good, I do enjoy having so much to focus on although I missed both of you so much. I’m sad I missed his first bout of accidental magic, but I’m glad you’ll be here to see all of his firsts in person every day.” Hermione beamed at him.

Draco suddenly had a much clearer picture of his next 10 years until Scorpius went off to Hogwarts, and all of the horrors that a growing boy could put him through. He shuddered and looked up to what he swore was a smirk on Scorpius’s tiny face.