Work Text:
Cauly: did you guys know that a dude landed a plane on the hudson river once
Hughsie: what the fuck
Hughsie: i did NOT
Cauly: yeah some canadian geese clogged the engine or somthing
Chucky: that insane
Stromer: especially cause those fuckers are HUGE
Chucky: and constantly angry
Chucky: they’re like the only animal that would fight god on sight
Cauly: nah that’s hippos
Sheriff: okay you’re gonna come back to that
Sheriff: but you’re saying that some geese took down a jet
Cauly: yep
Cauly: there’s a movie about it and everything
Nick: he watched it for the third time last night
Cauly: ITS INTERESTING
Zeegs: ooooohhhh this explains so much
Pricey: I’m gonna regret asking but what does this explain
Zeegs: he’s been testing the NTSP chat about planes
Zeegs: and now we know it’s just a phase and not like cole is suddenly terrified of flying
Hughsie: we aren’t allowed to call them phases tho
Nick: it’s happened before?!?!?
Hugshie: yeah
Hughsie: a couple of years ago it was space
Zeegs: before that it was dinosaurs and the whole dying thing
Cauly: extinction
Hughsie: which led to a phase about extinctions
Bee: there was the one about sharks too
Zeegs: that was a cool one ngl
Cauly: sharks are VERY cool
Cauly: also they’re older than dinosaurs AND still alive
Cauly: that means they’ve survived 5 mass extinctions
Hugshie: oh fuck
Nick: look what you’ve done
Chucky: wait go back to the hippo thing
Cauly: oh so hippos kill like 500 people a year
Cauly: so like 100 times more than sharks
Chucky: what the fuck
Cauly: also they’re like all muscle and fast as shit
Cauly: baby hippos will bite crocs and the croc does nothing bc something that old knows what battles to pick
Chucky: hungry hungry hippos lied to me
Cauly: also there was a dude who survived getting attacked by one that bit him and shit like 3 times
Cauly: he was a tour guide or smth and the group was supposed to go around the hippos but one guy got stuck
Cauly: so this dude goes to help him and gets attacked and ends up losing an arm but survives
Nick: HE LOST AN ARM?!?!?
Cauly: yeah
Cauly: even worse
Sheriff: what could possibly be worse than that
Cauly: the dude he tried to save had the audacity to just drown
Cauly: like this man survives getting attacked by a FUCKING hippo and homeboy just drowns
Nick: baby I love you
Nick: but why do you know these things
Cauly: idk I get bored and then learn random shit
Cauly: so now it’s plane crashes
Pricey: As a professional athlete who flies a lot, I feel like this is a bad idea
Cauly: what do you mean
Pricey: Don’t you ever just get that little voice in your head that tells you if something it’s gonna get you in trouble?
Cauly: no
Sheriff: that explains so much
Nick: great now I have to go stop cole from googling shark plane crashes
Zeegs: I’d say thanks for taking one for the team but
Hughsie: we all know how your gonna distract him
Cauly: and he’s VERY good at it