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but I'm in the trees,
im in the breeze,
my footsteps on the ground,
you'll see my face in every place,
but you can't catch me now
Making your way through the woods swiftly, doing your best to avoid the sharp rocks and twisted branches, you realised it's almost curfew. Your breathe is shaky, the beginning of December upon Scotland, a thick layer of snow layering the ground.
I am definitely not dressed for this...
You're almost to the edge of the forest, when you hear soft footsteps. You freeze. Who would be out here this late?
Well you're out here dumbass..
As the gentle breeze and the light falling snowflakes cascade down your bare arms you slowly look around, looking for any sign of who could be out here. As you're looking around something catches your eye, a mass of black striding through the thick snow.
You knew exactly who that was.
Professor Snape.
What the hell is he doing...
If he sees you you're done for...
As you're go to quietly turn away, a branch snaps under your foot. Fuck. You turn your head back to the place you saw Snape, hes staring right at you. That man has the awareness of a goddamn hawk. Accepting your fate, you slowly start walking over to him. Trudging through the snow with your unsuitable shoes. As soon as you reach him, you brace for a some sort of outburst as to the reason you were out here so late.
But it never arrives.
He stares down at you with an unreadable expression. Anger.. maybe, disappointment.. no.. curiosity?.. sort of. "Miss Y/N," he finally speaks. "Why tell me, are you outside, in the freezing cold, in nothing but your pajamas." He sternly says as raises an eyebrow at you.
You look down, embarrassed at the real reason you're out here. "I was just trying to enjoy the snow at night, I think it looks better with the dark sky." You spoke, barely above a whisper. You weren't completely lying, you did like the snow, you just didn't like going out at night. The real reason you just didn't want to talk about.
Snape, still staring down at you, finally sighs and mutters, "come on then". You finally look up to see him walking away towards the edge of the thick wood. You silently follow him with your arms wrapped around your torso, trying to warm up. As he leads you through the trees and up to the courtyard, you both finally arrive at the double doors.
He ushers you inside and closes the doors with a bang. He suddenly turns to you with his wand in hand and mutters a spell. You instantly feel warm spread throughout your entire body. "Oh, thank you sir." He grunts in response and whips around again suddenly speed walking down a hallway. You take that as a indication to follow.
"Where are we going?" You spoke after a while. "Your common room." He said with a hint of obviousness in his voice. Right..
As you both arrive to your common room double doors, he turns again and waits for you to say the password. You speak it aloud, the door cracks open with a creak. He swings it open without stepping inside. You leisurely walked inside and spun to look at him again. "Goodnight, Miss Y/N. I hope to not see parading around in the snow at a time like this again." And with that he shuts the door, quite harshly if you might say. As you turn to head to the dormitories, wondering how you managed to escape a punishment...
Be grateful you didn't and just go to bed..
Time skip about 3 years. Now the half blood prince era.
Sitting in Transfiguration class, now in your seventh year, you couldn't help but think back on that moment in your fourth year. It was the start of a sort of friendship you had with your professor. You knew things he liked that no one else knew, and he knew things about you no one else did. You had trinkets in his office you specifically liked, or books that you always re read when you sat in there after dinners.
You also thought about how much the wizarding world was changing, with voldemort being confirmed back, everyone was scared. Death eaters escaping, people dying. It was terrifying. The only place you truly felt safe was when you were in Professor Snape's office. It just had to be you two, reading or drinking tea talking. Being in each other's presence was enough to calm you.
As this was your last class of the day, you rushed down to change as soon as you were released. After you changed into more comfortable clothes, you sat on your bed reading a book borrowed from Professor Snape as you waited for dinner.
...
Now, sitting in Snape's office, you were feeling nervous. There was no reason to feel that way. You were sitting here on his couch, with him on the armchair reading. But you couldn't shake this feeling in your stomach. Almost like... betrayal..
You didn't realize you were sitting weird until Snape spoke. "Are you alright?" His voice rumbled calmy. Your gaze snapped from the fire over to where he was sitting. "Oh, yes I'm fine." You replied with a slight smile, and turned your attention back to the blazing fire.
What you couldn't see, is that his eyes stayed on you, narrowing. He suddenly stood up and declared he was going to put a pot of tea on.
When you still didn't reply he glanced at your form sitting still as a statue. What is wrong with her?, He thought to himself. He shook it off and went to go steep the tea, but couldn't get rid of the a feeling.
Guilt.
He hadn't done anything to her, he thought.
As he made the tea, the anxious feeling still in the out of your gut. You shook it off, thinking it'll pass. You turned to watch him make the tea and your stomach sunk as his sleeve on his left arm lifted a little.
The dark mark..
No. No. NO.
You couldn't breathe. It felt as if you were suffocating. Is he one of them? Has he killed people? Would he kill you? Oh god...
You shakily stood up off the couch without taking your eyes off him, making your way to the door when he looks at you. "Y/N?" He asked carefully. He looked down to where you were staring at, and his heart dropped. He snaps his gaze back up to where you once stood but now is replaced with an open door and no you. His pulse started racing with panic as he bolted out the door to look for you. There was no sign of you, left or right. You were gone..
A few days past and there was no sign of you. Not in classes. Not at meals. Not in the hallways. Its like you had vanished into thin
air. He asked teachers, students, everyone if they had seen you. Nothing. He finally decided to go up to Dumbledores Office, find out where you were.
As he ascended the spiral stairs, he grew nervous. What if you weren't alright, what if you were hurt? What if he never saw you again, just because you didn't let him explain.
...
As he retreated back to his office, he couldn't believe his ears. You had unenrolled. He didn't even know that was possible. He was angry, confused and frustrated that you didn't let him explain. That you didn't hear him out. As he sat in his arm chair, he looked around the room. Nothing had changed from that night. The last time he saw you.
The book you were going to read sitting on the couch, the kettle still on the stove. He blew out a breath a stood up, walking over to the opposite couch to store the book away. He flipped it over and read the cover. Your favorite book he had. He put it away in the nearest bookshelf and turned toward the mantle piece.
His gaze immediately caught the miniature globe on the left side of the frail wood. Pins sticking out of it of all the places you planned to visit after you graduated.
It made him angry. How dare you leave him with no explanation, how could you not listen to him? He always had an answer whenever you asked a question so why did you leave for this one? Didn't you know he wouldn't do something like this?
In his rage, he completely destroyed everything you had ever expressed even liking the tiniest bit. He soon realized it was almost everything, almost every trinket, many of his books, cups, quills, inks. He wanted you gone for good. If you couldn't even find it in yourself to sit down and listen for a moment, then fine.
But as the months passed, he realized, you were in things he couldn't destroy. Everytime a cool breeze would blow by he would think of you. Anytime the grass would sway, you would be haunting the back of his mind. Everytime the golden hour would start you would be there. He caught himself looking for you in the midst of students. At meals, Hogsmeade trips.
And as he sat in the headmasters office, his new position upon him. He realized...
You would never leave.
But he could also never catch you.