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Quite the Scandal

Summary:

A drunken Kate challenges the Bridgerton siblings to create the biggest scandal. Chaos follows.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Kate could usually drink the most and still be the most sober person in the room, but this was her first time drinking since she'd stopped breastfeeding Charlotte and it had gone straight to her head. For once she was the drunkest in the room and so her drunk mind didn't think through the words tumbling out of her mouth. "I think we should have a competition." She declares to the room of Bridgerton siblings and spouses. Penelope and Sophie exchange a look and Simon rolls his eyes. He made it no secret how much he hated Bridgerton contests in the past. Michael, who is the best Bridgerton spouse in her mind, beams and the siblings all lean in. "Whoever makes the biggest scandal and gets the most tabloid attention wins." She declares. The next morning she won't remember but the siblings will. 

 

Daphne 

Daphne Basset says the earth could be flat in shock video... 

"Wanna tell me why you've been named BFES celebrity of the year?" Daphne wakes up to her husband holding his phone out to her. 

Daphne frowns. "BFES?" She questions. Has she forgotten a charity she has worked for. She really hopes not. That would make her an awful person. 

"British Flat Earth society." Simon sounds gleeful. 

"Oh God, I took Kate's challenge too seriously didn't I?" She asks with a sigh. 

Simon beams. "Daphne Basset is named our celebrity of the year after her public support of our vital work. The Duchess declared in a video that the earth could be flat, confirming what we already know to be true. We are delighted to have Mrs Basset on board and look forward to hopefully working with her in the future." Simon is laughing now. "I think you're about the only choice they had for celebrity of the year." He grins. 

"I said could." Daphne rings her hands. "I said it COULD be flat. I never said it was flat."

"Well darling you've certainly got the headlines attention." Simon laughs again.

Daphne smiles a little. "Oooh I really could win."

 

Colin

Colin Bridgerton holds hands with mystery red head hours after posting loved up selfie with wife Penelope. 

"You just had to go down the affair route." Anthony berates his brother, but Colin is unfazed, smug even. 

"Harry and Prudence didn't mind and Pen said it was a good idea." He responds. 

Penelope holds her hand up. "Actually just for the record I said if you must." Anthony sighs glancing at his poor long suffering sister in law. First Daphne had joined the Flat Earth society and now Colin is proudly creating an affair scandal. "But I'll have Theo write an article about how Colin was just helping his overwhelmed sister in law." She adds with a small shrug. "Once he's had a chance to win."

Kate gives Colin a high five as Anthony sighs. "Really Pen?"

Penelope shrugs again. "I'm not loving the photographers outside the house right now, can we get them an order asking them not to stand on our beautifully kept lawn by the way, but at this point Colin may as well win." 

"That's my girl." Colin beams wrapping an arm around his wife. 

"Colin you beat Daphne." Declares Kate. "You currently have three more articles then her." 

"You're measuring in articles?" Anthony practically screams throwing his hands up in defeat. This was going to be hell. 

 

Gregory

Eaton boy Gregory Bridgerton admits he thinks cricket is pointless. 

"Yeah you currently have about two articles Greg, no one really cares about cricket anyway so it's not the scandal you expected." Kate tells her youngest brother in law as she paces the living room with Charlotte strapped to her chest asleep in the baby carrier. Anthony watches in the doorway. Gregory had caused minimal scandal with a 'confession' nobody actually seemed to care about. Gregory is currently the best sibling Anthony could have. His Mum is also relieved. "Yeah but I think that's just private school." Kate is saying. "I'm sorry Greg but Colin got twenty articles and a front page photo, Daphne got sixteen and the offer to be the face of the global Flat Earth campaign, so two just doesn't really cut it. Better luck next time I guess."

 

Francesca 

Fran-sex-ca: Francesca Bridgerton answers very personal question about her sex life. 

"I'm so close to handing you divorce papers." Anthony declares as he holds his phone up to Kate. "And Mum is beside herself." 

Kate frowns. "Benedict?" She asks. 

Anthony shakes his head. "Nope." He declares. "Benedict I could deal with. Benedict used to be a walking sex scandal. Benedict paints people naked and people go see it. Benedict I can tolerate."

"Eloise then?" Asks Kate. 

"Nope." Anthony responds. "Francesca." Kate has to check his face several times to make sure he isn't joking. "Just revealed her top three sex positions and everyone is losing their shit."

Kate grins. She can't help herself. "Fran might just win." 

Anthony glares at his wife. "I never needed to know these things about my sister." He sighs. "And Mum nearly fainted when she went to buy milk and saw the headline. Sophie happened to be with her thankfully. I mean really Kate did you need to know these things?" 

Kate glares back at him. "Firstly, for the record I didn't specify a scandal, she chose to go down the sex route. Also your siblings are as much to blame as I am. I was hammered when I suggested it. They could have said no." She adds. 

Anthony sighs. "I'm sorry." 

Kate shrugs. "I would be the same if it was Edwina. For the record though Fran has excellent taste." Anthony gags. 

 

Benedict 

Benedict Bridgerton sends the internet into a melt down after declaring he doesn't like chocolate

Bridgerton Family: The Complete boxset

Colin: @Benedict you absolute fucker. 

Violet: Language @Colin @Benedict why am I watching you debate whether it's okay to admit you don't like chocolate on national telly while I'm helping Sophie make you a triple chocolate cake. 

Violet: It's the stupid bet isn't it

Colin: But Benedict is lying in public. 

Penelope: Oh so you and Prudence were actually a couple then when you got your five minutes of fame? 

Eloise: She got you there. 

Kate: ^^^

Kate: I never said I wanted truth

Kate: I never specified any rules. 

Kate: I was quite drunk.

Kate: Sorry Violet.

Violet: That's okay dear, it's good to let your hair down. 

Hyacinth: Oh so Kate can get drunk but when I have a sip of vodka you go mad

Anthony: Kate is an adult

Colin: And legal 

Anthony: And can make her own choices. 

Hyacinth: Oh please @Colin you drank before you were 18 and you helped Penelope and Eloise when they got drunk before they were 18.

Colin: To be fair Hyacinth I never tried to neck an entire bottle of vodka at once and Pen and El were already drunk, what was I gonna do? Leave them. 

Anthony: And I told Colin, El and Pen the same thing I told you. 

Hyacinth: @Greg drinks and he's 17

Violet: Greg?????

Gregory: Jesus Hy. 

Francesca: This is a strange conversation to wake up too. 

Michael: ^^^

Daphne: Not as weird as hearing your sisters top three sex positions. 

Simon: You told your mother ours. 

Benedict: I see we've just moved on from my absolute genius then. 

Benedict: None of you got a national TV spot 

Benedict: I'll take your silence as my victory. 

Benedict: Is there even any point in any of you trying to beat me now? 

Benedict: If you'll excuse me I have a cake to eat. 

Colin: Smug bastard - Eloise, Kate, Daphne, Francesca, Gregory and Hyacinth have liked this message

Violet: LANGUAGE 

Kate:

Kate Bridgerton collects children from school in old PJs. 

"Kate darling," Violet gives her daughter in law a hug. "I was dearly hoping you'd be in." 

"Mum." Anthony appears Charlotte in his arms and Miles attached to his leg. Miles rushes forward to hug his Grandmother. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" He asks as Kate steps aside so she can come in. 

"Granny Ned said I couldn't play with him." Miles complains. 

"He needs his own space sometimes." Kate gently informs her son. "When Charlotte is bigger and wants to play with you all the time you might need space too." She adds. "Why don't you show Granny your sticker from school while I make her a cup of tea?" She suggests and Miles does so happily. 

Later when they are settled in the living room Violet turns to Kate. "I am so sorry to intrude. I just wanted to check in with you and also to give you these." She holds out a box tied with a bow. 

Kate takes it with a small frown. "That's very kind. What's the occasion?"

Violet looks a little guilty. "Well you see Agatha sent me the pictures of you doing the school run and the pyjamas looked old so I thought you might like some new ones and then well I got a little carried away." 

Anthony laughs as Kate pulls what must be about ten pairs of different pyjamas out of the box looking a little perplexed. Then he saw her figure it out. The challenge to cause a scandal had led to Kate picking up the boys in old pyjamas very intentionally. Anthony had know it wasn't a cry for help as one paper had called it as she looked immaculate otherwise with neat hair and makeup and the pyjamas were clean free from the marks often left by the kids giving their Mum a morning or evening hug. 

Violet seems to figure it out out too. "Oh it was the stupid competition wasn't it?" She asks, looking horrified. 

"Well yes, but I've been needing new pyjamas anyway." Kate quickly states. 

 

Hyacinth

Hyacinth Bridgerton thinks having kids is pointless

Just the ABCDEFGs

Biggest Bro: HYACINTH. Why have you declared having kids is pointless. You have nieces and nephews.

Art Bro: It made a splash, but I'm still winning. Three TV debates and all that.

Pen's bitch: I don't think it's a big deal Ant

Eldest Sis: That's because you don't have children that Hy just called pointless. 

Fuck The Patriachy (Eloise's version): Yeah even I think it's a bit harsh on Augie, Be, Ned, Miles and Lottie although I agree it's good for the planet.

The sane one: Fuck You Eloise you're meant to be on my side. 

Pen's bitch: LANGUAGE. Jesus Hy. 

Pianist Sis: You literally brought her sloe gin once Col. 

Pen's bitch: I THOUGHT IT WAS JUICE. THEY TOLD ME IT WAS.

This bro sucks: To be fair no alcohol bottle should have so many cartoons on it.

The sane one: So do I win? 

Biggest bro: Kate says no. 

 

Eloise

Eloise Bridgerton makes key note speech at anti-man rally 

"I'm not counting that." Kate declares. "One it's just Eloise, Two it isn't an ant-men rally it's the international women's day march and three that makes Benedict the bloody winner." Kate sighs. "Remind me never to challenge your siblings again."

"As if you could resist doing something like this again." Anthony responds.

"Okay but you enjoyed it." Kate states. 

Anthony chuckles. "Maybe just a bit."  

 

Notes:

It's been forever I know! Sorry, but I'm back! As always let me know what you thought and if you have any requests.

For the record I have no idea if there is A British Flat Earth Society or any Flat Earth Society but it felt like a fun Daphne angle and Eloise's Anti-men rally is just a feminist protest that the tabloids have taken out of context.

I had so much fun with this and hope you do too.

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