Adult Content Warning
This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.
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i empty my mind (with cuts across my arms) by valariansmith
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
21 May 2024
Tags
Summary
“No, I don’t know, because I’m mentally healthy - relatively speaking, at least, compared to you,” Astarion scoffs. “You’re mutilating yourself because you want a release. Not even an orgasmic one, just some odd nirvana you’ve conditioned yourself into feeling during pain. Is this why you turned me down? Because slitting your wrists is the only way you get off?”
Your gaze hardens, and Astarion wishes he could take back what he said. “If you’re just going to berate me, then leave.”
He takes a breath. “I’m sorry, it’s just..” he exhales, “what do you want me to say? What would be helpful for you right now? Tell me what I can do for you, please, because I have no bloody idea.”
Your voice cracks, “I don’t know. Fuck, I wish I did. I know what I’m doing is - is weird, is gross, is crazy, but it’s what I’ve always done. I don’t know anything else.”
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Astarion wakes to the smell of blood and follows the scent into the forest. He finds you and asks you who hurt you. But nobody hurt you but yourself.
TW: Self harm, descriptions of cuts, blood - a lot of blood. This is a dark fic. Astarion is an asshole at first but he gets better.