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Rey was loath to admit it, but Kylo Ren had been right when he said she needed a teacher, and really. Who was going to say no to being trained by THE Luke Skywalker?
One notable exception excluded?
While she had been very excited to learn, Rey soon came upon a realization.
Jedi training was boring as shit.
Sure, it was challenging at first, but a girl could only meditate for so long before wanting to go jump in the ocean. Which was probably why Luke had her meditating so much. If she could make it through this, she was sure, she could make it through anything else.
Sitting on the sun-warmed stone, cool ocean breeze flowing through her hair, Rey closed her eyes and opened herself to the Force.
Kylo Ren was waiting for her.
“Rey. Rey can you hear me?” Shocked, the young jedi jolted, looking around for a foe that could not be seen.
“What’s happening! Where are you?” she hissed, confused.
“Uh. Shit. I don’t remember the name of the place. Look that’s not important, Rey. Rey. I have to talk to you!”
“What a coincidence. I have nothing to say to you!” she snarled, enraged.
“Look, ok that’s fine, just. Shut up for a sec. Ok. Rey. You have to talk to the Knights of Ren. They. They won’t stop laughing at me Rey. They keep making fun of me! They’re calling me pathetic, Rey! I’m not pathetic!”
“Are y- are you fucking drunk?”
“Yes. Listen. Tell them I’m not pathetic. NO STOP LAUGHING REY IT ISN’T FUNNY”
“You’re the most pathetic being in the universe. And that’s coming from someone who used to gut spaceships for food.”
“NO I’M NOT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU’RE SO STRONG IN THE FORCE! It’s not even fair. They said I was weak for getting beat by an untrained girl from some sand-trap of a planet. Did you know my grandpa hated sand Rey? Because he did. Sand is gross, Rey. Darth Vader said so.”
“For the love of- would you please just go?”
“Not until you promise to join the Dark Side.”
Sighing heavily, the girl braced herself for a very long, very annoying conversation. “Give me one good reason to join the Dark Side.”
She sensed his clumsy surprise. Clearly he hadn’t expected to get this far, even in his drunken, mopey haze.
“Uh. Wait. Yeah ok. You have brown eyes.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with anything”
“I also have brown eyes. Brown eyes are dark. You should join the dark side.”
“Please fuck off and let me do my training?”
“HA! Some training! Skywalker is lame. I’m way cooler. And edgy. Also I dress better. SHUT UP HUX YES I DO! You should be my padawan Rey. It would be awesome.”
“I’m not going to be your padawan, Ren.”
“BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY”
“Right. I’m leaving.”
“No, wait don’t g-” concentrating all her efforts, Rey managed to close the connection.
That was strange, she thought. Apparently Kylo was even whinier as a drunk. She hadn’t thought that possible.
So his colleagues were teasing him for being beaten by her.
Good.
As long as this didn’t happen again.