Work Text:
Louis always looked forward to Harry coming home after work. He usually came home just an hour earlier than Harry and had time to prep dinner. But today, he was not excited. He didn't feel like he could look Harry in the eyes and tell him what had happened at work.
-
"Mr. Tomlinson, HR wants to speak to you. It's urgent," his colleague tells him. He felt as if his heart skipped a beat. Maybe he was getting that promotion he had looked forward to? Maybe he was getting a raise? He was in need of a raise. His heart pounded hard when he stepped into the elevator, taking him up to floor 7. He couldn't wait to tell Harry about this when he came home. He would be so happy for him. Harry had taken extra shifts at the hospital every Sunday, meaning he was working 6 days a week, just so they could save up to adopt a baby in the future. It wasn't something they wanted to do now, but maybe in a couple of years, and they want to be prepared for it. Louis, however, couldn't work extra shifts on weekends as his work was closed then. He was an editor. He always knew he wanted to work with books in some way. He had loved reading ever since a child and dreamt of becoming an author himself one day. But for now, revising and editing books were enough. He loved his job. He always came in happy and always had energy for it. Harry also loved his job.
Harry and Louis had met in the first year of university where Harry had studied nursing, and Louis had studied English. Louis had taken a couple of gap years between high school and uni, whereas Harry had begun his studies immediately. Which resulted in them being in the same year. That was 8 years ago now. They had now been married for 2 years and lived together for 6 of them. They were a happy couple. Sure, they had their fair share of issues and arguments, but they were happy. One of their main issues were their economy, Louis work was based on how much work he did each month. He always managed to get enough money, although some months money was tighter than others. Harry was a nurse. His pay was always good since he often worked extra shifts, but even without the extra shifts, it would be enough since Louis had a job, too.
Louis arrived on the 7th floor and stepped out of the elevator. He walked towards the office he had been called to and knocked. He was let in by boss' secretary. He sat down in front of his boss. He rarely saw his boss since they worked on different floors of the building.
"Mr. Tomlinson. I just want to tell you that your work here has been very good and useful for business. We've been very happy with you. But now we unfortunately have to let you go due to economic issues we are facing. We are so sorry. This is effective immediately. Thank you for your time here, we wish you well."
Louis heart dropped. He was fired. He was completely stunned. This wasn't what he expected. How could they do this to him? He nodded slowly. He felt tears burning behind his eyes.
"I understand. Thank you for your time, sir. I'll go pack my stuff." He rambled quickly and left before he began crying. His feet took him to the nearest restroom, where he took a seat on the toilet lid and sobbed. He was a grown man and cried because he lost his beloved job, pathetic.
-
So no, he did not want to go home and tell Harry he got laid off. But he had to. He was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for Harry to come home. He could see their hallway and entry door from where he was sitting. Dinner had not started yet. He had no energy to begin, Harry would understand. The clock hit 5:24pm, Harry would be home anytime now. Why was he nervous telling Harry? He heard the keys unlock the door, and he went to meet Harry by the door.
When Harry came inside, he looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were bloodshot and wet. He had been crying. As soon as he saw Louis, he started crying again.
"Oh, Harry. Baby, are you okay? What's wrong?" Louis wrapped his arms around him. Now was not the time to tell Harry about his day. It would have to wait.
"I lost Abby today." Harry sobbed into Louis shoulder, where he was resting his head. Louis stroked his hand along Harry's spine. Louis knew who Harry was speaking about. There was this young girl, Abby, who had leukaemia and had been in and out of the hospital for 3 years. Harry had been her nurse since she was diagnosed. She was only 10. The last 2 months, she had been in the hospital, never leaving due to the bad condition she was in. Her death was not unexpected, but it never hurt any less, losing a patient.
Louis placed a kiss on the back of his neck and ran his fingers through his curls. Harry was the first one to let go of the hug. Louis wiped the tears off his cheeks and placed a kiss there as well.
"I'm so sorry, baby." He whispered as he held onto Harry's face. He tiptoed to kiss his forehead and pulled him in for another hug.
This was definitely not the day to tell him about him getting fired.
-
The next morning, he told Harry he felt sick, which obviously was a lie, and Harry was a nurse, so he obviously tried to find out what was wrong with him.
He took his temperature.
"Did you puke?"
"No."
"Does your throat hurt?"
"No."
"Is your nose runny?"
"No."
"Do you have a headache?"
"No."
"Tummy ache?"
"No."
"What's wrong then?"
"I just feel bad. I don't think I've slept well."
"Okay... should I stay home and look after you? I wouldn't mind." He placed a kiss on Louis lips.
"No, I'll call you if I get worse." Louis lied. He wasn't going to get worse because he wasn't sick.
"Alright. Rest and drink loads of water. Call me if you need anything. Love you, "
"Love you too."
His job search had begun.
-
This went on for 3 days before Louis had to come up with something else. He couldn't tell Harry he had gotten fired after being sick. That was just dumb. Instead, he left for work as he normally would, but he went to job interviews and went home after Harry had gone to work himself. He spent his days desperately trying to find a job. He looked on Indeed and on Facebook. He had even gone to editorial bureaus in person. It wasn't easy getting a job in his choice of career nor maintaining one, apparently. Not only did he apply to jobs as an editor, but eventually he started looking for jobs everywhere, in coffee shops, in libraries, in schools, anywhere so he could just get the money they needed. It had been a week since he was fired now. A week without getting paid. Harry would definitely notice this when it was time to look at their monthly incomes and expenses. Louis was stressing. He knew their lives were dependent on both of them working. He had to come clean to Harry soon.
Louis finished cooking dinner by the time Harry came home each night of the week. Today he was going to tell him he had to tell him.
"How was your day?" Harry asked as he stuffed his mouth full of the homemade lasagna Louis had cooked.
"The same, nothing new, really. Loads of things to do at the office." He said without thinking. Dammit, he shouldn't have mentioned the office. Now, he couldn't say he was fired. But he had to. He had barely touched his food and just played around with the fork. He sighed.
"Lou, what's wrong? You've barely touched your food. You're not sick, are you?"
"I wish." Louis mumbled. It would be so much easier if he was just sick and not unemployed.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
-
Another week went by, and Louis still hadn't told Harry. It had been two weeks now, and it was definitely getting out of hand. He wasn't getting any further with the job searching, and he was filled with anxiety. He had never kept a secret from Harry this long. He decided that today was the day he had to tell him. He had made fish tacos, which Harry loved. He lit up some candles and had deep cleaned the apartment today. He needed Harry to come home and feel relaxed when he told him.
Harry was greeted with an intimate kiss as he walked through the door. "Smells nice in here." He mumbled against Louis lips. Harry's lips didn't leave Louis. His grabbed his hand and slowly traced it over his arm over his chest.
"Harry- I"
"Shh Lou. Just kiss me, please. I've had a long day. I just need you." Harry placed kisses along Louis jawline.
Louis pulled away. He removed Harry's hand from his chest. "I've had a bad day, too." Louis lips trembled. He was so nervous he felt like crying. He felt his heart pound fast and hard. Why was he even nervous? He could just tell him about it. Harry would understand.
"Lou, what's wrong?"
"Um well... I got fired." He scoffed. He tightened his jaw, trying to keep his lips from trembling. He looked down on his feet. He felt Harry's hand on his chin, bringing his face up, making their eyes meet.
"Oh Lou... I'm so sorry. What happened?" Harry's hand was still laying on Louis' chin. His fingers traced Louis' trembling lips. Louis tried to force a smile, but the tears in his eyes said different.
"They um... had to make some cuts in their budget, I suppose." Louis voice was shaking. He felt so stupid. Of course, they let him go when needing to cut their budget. The work he had done was disappointing to them, so they chose to fire him. Him. No one else. Just him. Harry pulled him in for a hug.
"It's gonna be okay, love. It's only been a day, and we'll figure it out." Harry's hand gently massaged the back of Louis neck. His fingers traced the spine. Louis sighed loudly. Fuck. He had to tell him the truth, the whole truth.
Louis cleared his throat before opening his mouth again.
"So about that, it's not only been one day." He shut his eyes closed before continuing. "It happened two weeks ago. I should've told you sooner, I'm so sorry, please don't be mad."
Harry let go of the hug. His hand left Louis' neck. He went straight into the kitchen where the afternoon sunlight was streaming onto the kitchen table, casting a warm glow into the room. Harry took a seat. Louis took a seat next to him, laying a hand on Harry's thigh but it was pushed away. Harry's jaw was visibly clenched while Louis was fidgeting.
"So... You lied to me? Why? Why Louis? What was the reason?"
Louis swallowed, his throat felt as dry as sandpaper as he struggled to find the right words.
"I thought if I could find another job before I told you I could-"
He was cut off.
"You could lie to me even more? How could that possibly be a solution to you? You thought I'd never find out? I could've taken extra shifts at the hospital, I could've helped you!" Harry was now walking around the room, spiralling while Louis' head was resting in his hands.
"But no, now we have lost two weeks worth of money. Even more! Do you realise how serious this is? Oh my god Louis..."
The weight of betrayal lied heavy on Louis' shoulders. His chest rose and fell with each shaky breath. Harry's words had hurt him.
"I never meant for it to go this far! I was gonna tell you but you were having a bad day and then one thing led to another and here we are." Louis sighed loudly, his words were shaky from almost crying.
"Oh so now this is my fault?" Harry spat. Whenever Harry was angry he had this intensive stare that made Louis shift uncomfortably in his seat. He never knew where to look because if he looked into Harry's eyes for too long, he would break. "You know what? I'm too tired for this, I've had a long day and I suppose tomorrow is going to be worse since now I've gotta work even longer hours, thanks Louis. I'm going to sleep on the sofa tonight." He continued. He ran his fingers through his hair, still pacing around in the room, obviously stressed.
-
The moonlight shone through the curtains into the bedroom. It had been over 2 days since their fight, Harry had worked 12 hour shifts each day and was barely home. Louis reached out absentmindedly, grazing his fingers on the empty mattress beside him. He was alone in the bed, he felt lonely without Harry to hold. He could still hear Harry's light snoring from the living room but the bed was cold without him. He stared at the ceiling. Louis had really fucked it up this time. A pang of longing coursed through his body as he craved for the warmth and comfort of Harry. The two of them had barely said a word to each other since the argument. Louis had tried to keep a conversation going but Harry's response would mostly be a simple "Okay." Or "yes" or "no".
Louis mind was flooded of memories they shared in this bed, it was filled with laughter, joy, sadness and pleasure. He truly felt bad that Harry slept on an uncomfortable sofa while he got to lie in this soft and warm bed. He thought of the first time they had slept in this bedroom.
-
"I can't believe this is our, OUR, bedroom, in OUR apartment. I'm so happy!" Harry laughed and gave Louis a loving kiss. They looked into each others eyes. Louis couldn't stop smiling. He pulled Harry in for a tight cuddle in their new bed, which for the moment was only a mattress. It was a warm spring night, the sun had just set. You could hear some cars driving along the busy street outside. Louis took a deep breath, smelling the air around him, smelling Harry. It didn't take long before they fell asleep in each others arms after a long day of moving.
-
On the third night after the argument, Louis had enough of the silent treatment or whatever you would call it. He felt so alone in his own home. He tried to sleep but no matter how long his eyes were closed he couldn't. The loneliness of missing Harry was crushing him like a weighted blanket. His heart felt so heavy that it consumed him. A lonely tear ran slowly down his cheek before the next one followed.
Louis took a step out of the bed onto the cold floor. He stepped quietly into the living room, his feet walking as softly as possible. Harry was asleep on the sofa, covered in blankets. Louis thought he looked so peaceful there, he wanted to curl into him.
"Harry, are you awake?" He whispered softly as he stroke away a curl from Harry's cheek.
Harry stiffened but didn't respond. Louis took a deep breath as sadness consumed him. He felt like such a disappointment, he had let himself down and he let Harry down. He should have been honest from the start. He understood why Harry was angry, Louis deserved it. Maybe he deserved to lie alone in their bed and cry. Harry didn't need to talk to Louis, why would he? Harry had been perfectly fine without him these three days while Louis had been a mess. He kept telling himself that he was not good enough for Harry, he had failed at being a good husband. He tried not to cry, but another couple of tears ran down his cheeks, making his beard wet.
"Harry, please I really need you." Louis tried once again, more urgently. He couldn't handle feeling all of this on his own.
Harry sighed loudly and opened his eyes. He gave Louis a frustrated glare, obviously not happy with being awoken at 2 in the morning.
"What is it now, Louis? It's in the middle of the night and I'm really fucking tired."
Louis swallowed dryly. His jaw clenched as he heard Harry's icy tone.
"Nevermind." Louis turned on his heels to go back into the bedroom.
"Well you might as well tell me, I'm wide awake now." Harry sighed, but sounded more comforting.
"M'just really lonely in the bed. Just miss you." Louis said carefully. He sat down on the floor next to the sofa, close enough to run his fingers through Harry's hair.
"You woke me up cause you miss me?"
Louis couldn't tell if Harry's choice was condescending or not.
"Yeah.. I've felt really sad tonight honestly, haven't been able to sleep." Louis voice trembled. Harry turned over, his back was now facing Louis.
"I'm tired, Lou. Need to be up by 5 to go to work." He mumbled.
Oh. Louis felt like he was stabbed in the chest. He walked softly back into bed. He buried his face in the pillows as tears were burning in his eyes until he no longer could hold them in, letting them stream down his cheeks as his body was trembling with suppressed sobs. He felt ridiculous crying over this.
They had fights and arguments before, why was Harry acting like this now? What made this argument different from others? Louis had a hard time understanding.
He curled into himself, wrapping his arms around a pillow and tried to get comfort from the loneliness that surrounded him. He craved to be in Harry's arms now. Did Harry even miss him? Did Harry feel as lonely as Louis? What if Harry were going to leave him? He felt his heart pound more rapidly. His hands begun to trembled uncontrollably. He felt the panic grip him tightly, not letting him get enough air. His mind was a place of chaos. With each gasping breath, his panic intensified. He hugged the pillow tighter, trying to ease the fear within him. He clutched at his chest as he tried to hold himself together, but a silent cry left his throat. He shut his eyes hard and tried to focus on his breathing but it made everything worse, it made him feel like he couldn't breathe at all. He crawled out of bed, dizziness sweeping over him. He walked quickly into the kitchen, almost stumbling on his own feet. He grabbed the counter to steady himself. He hadn't had a panic attack in so long and definitely not one as bad as this one. He opened a cabinet and reached for a glass to drink some water but he accidentally knocked it over and it smashed right onto the floor, leaving shards of glass all over the kitchen. He gasped for air and let out a sob as he glided down to the floor next to the glass after having a hard time standing up. He wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his face in his knees, just waiting for it all to pass. He rocked back and forth, trying to soothe himself. He didn't even notice the footsteps walking into the kitchen until Harry's hand was on his shoulder. He looked up to see Harry's worried expression.
"Are you hurt?" Harry asked when seeing glass all over the floor. Louis shook his head.
"N-no" He stammered. Harry sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around him. Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder. Louis was shuddering, feeling cold but sweating at the same time.
"Breathe with me, Louis." Harry whispered. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, Louis followed him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, pulling him closer.
"Hey, you did hurt yourself. Let me get you cleaned up." Harry softly said, had noticed Louis arm was bleeding.
"Go sit down on a chair, be careful so you don't step in any glass." Harry's voice was soft and warm compared to before. He went to turn on the light to be able to see more.
"I can't get up." Louis voice was weak, his words were barely heard. Harry came closer and reached out his hand for Louis to grab, which he did.
"I'll help you. It's okay, Louis. You're okay."
Louis breathing had slowed down back to normal but he was still shaking. Harry helped him to a chair and then grabbed their first-aid kit from the bathroom. He took out a pair of tweezers.
"Lou, this might sting a bit. I'm just gonna take out the shard of glass from your arm, okay?"
Louis nodded. He looked down and indeed, there was a shard of glass in his arm. No bigger than 2cm. Harry gently took the glass out and cleaned the small wound before bandaging it. Louis was still feeling like a mess, he was still crying.
"I'm sorry for being such a mess." His voice cracked. Harry dried his tears with a tissue. He gave him a kiss on the cheek. Louis sighed deeply, letting the last of his cry out. He felt better. Relief washed over him, Harry comforting him felt normal. He wasn't being cold or mad anymore. Maybe they should talk now.
"Harry, can we talk?" Louis asked softly, not wanting to anger Harry in any way. Harry stood up from the chair he was sitting on.
"Can we talk tomorrow? I'm exhausted." Harry sighed. It was after all 3 in the morning. Louis scoffed, he knew they weren't going to talk tomorrow. He needed to talk now or else he would go all day tomorrow worrying and being anxious.
"Tomorrow? You mean after you come home just as exhausted from work?" His tone was not as soft now. He was tired, too.
"And whose fault is that?" Harry spat, he completely changed his tone. He begun to clean up the mess Louis had made.
"Well you don't have to work 12-hour shifts! We have savings for a reason." Louis said sharply. He knew Harry was angry but he didn't have to be, they could easily solve this with a normal, calm conversation.
"And maybe we could have used them if you told me sooner." Harry stated, now standing I'm the doorway, resting his head on the doorframe.
"We still can. You just want to feel sorry for yourself cause I fucked up." Louis blurted out.
"I'm not the one feeling sorry for myself. You are!"
"Why are you even so angry with me?"
"I'm not angry! I'm hurt, I don't understand why you would lie to me..." Harry sighed, he ran his hand through his hair, slightly pulling his curls backwards.
"Hurt? That's funny, considering-"
"Considering what?!" Harry's voice was raised, his brows furrowed.
"Considering I was the one who was fired!" Louis exclaimed.
"Well, I'm the husband who was lied to. Louis you have to understand that this affects both of us." Harry stared at Louis, waiting for him to answer.
"No! I was the one who lost my job, I lost it. I wasn't good enough to keep it, I keep screwing up." Louis let out a loud sigh.
"So now you're pulling that card? Why can't you just accept the fact that you hurt me? You always play the victim. God, Louis... You really don't see that what you did was wrong? You don't see how this hurt me?" Harry asked. He didn't even look at Louis now. He was just staring out of the kitchen window, which was in front of him. Louis looked out, too. You couldn't see anystars because of the cloudy night sky. It was quiet, not a single person outside. Eventually a car drove by and broke the silence.
"Can we please just have a mature conversation about this tomorrow?" Harry continued after a few moments, hoping to go back to sleep.
"I'm not the one who's making this conversation childish." Louis scoffed and crossed his arms, wincing a little when he accidentally touched his wound. Harry let out a groan.
"Childish?!" Harry almost laughed. "I'm not the one having panic attacks every time I sleep alone." Harry was visibly irritated.
Those words felt like a stab in Louis chest. Harry knew about Louis' struggles. He knew that Louis had extreme anxiety. It was better nowadays, but when it got bad, it got really bad.
You could see the immediate look of regret on Harry's face. Louis stood up from his chair, making his way out of the kitchen.
"Lou, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just so tired. Please can we just talk in the morning?" Harry begged, he grabbed Louis wrist as he walked by.
"Let me go." Louis mumbled. He didn't want to look at Harry. "Maybe you're right. I'm pathetic for not being able to sleep alone." He pulled away and walked straight into the bedroom, closing the door behind him with a loud bang. He laid down in bed, pulled the duvet over his head and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep. The door opened and he felt Harry crawl into bed. He pulled the duvet down, revealing Louis face. He crawled under the duvet, hugging Louis closely. But Louis pulled away.
"Please leave." Louis said, his voice cracked. He turned over, hus back facing Harry. "I should learn to sleep alone if I'm such a burden for you."
"Lou, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Harry stroked his hair. His hand laid softly against Louis neck. A kiss was placed right below Louis ear, then on his jawline and lastly on his cheek before he pushed Harry away. He heard Harry sigh loudly. The bed lightly bounced up as Harry left. He closed the door quietly. Louis turned and laid flat on his back, tried to fall asleep. It was late now. He closed his eyes, and his mind was flooded with thoughts of not being good enough. He was never good enough. Harry would probably be much better off without him. He let a few tears run down the side of his upper cheekbones before he finally fell asleep.
-
When Louis woke up, it was only 8 in the morning. The sun had woken him up. He yawned and sat up in bed. The memories of the night came back to him and he groaned loudly. Thankfully, Harry would be at work by now so he wouldn't have to deal with the situation just yet. He put on a white hoodie he found on the floor beside the bed, it was Harry's. The smell of it was comforting, like a warm hug. Louis sighed deeply, he wished he could turn back time and tell Harry the truth from the start. They wouldn't be in this situation if that was the case. He fucked everything up, that's all he does, fuck things up. Harry was probably tired of it now. Louis imagined him at work, telling his colleagues about how Louis ruined his night, not letting him get any sleep all because of how pathetic he was. Because he was such a mess. Maybe Harry would call his lawyer to ask for divorce papers, maybe he had already signed them. Louis felt panic arise again but was interrupted of his belly rumbling.
The floor was cold as he walked towards the door but he wasn't bothered to put on any socks. He opened the door and almost stumbled into the hallway. Harry lied on the floor right outside the bedroom. He was curled into a ball under a blanket. His head rested on a pillow. Louis came down to a seat next to him. He sighed silently, not wanting to wake him. Harry's face was relaxed, not a single trace of stress or anger on it. Louis couldn't understand how Harry always could fall and stay asleep this easily, even on the cold floor. Louis studied his face for a bit, his lips looked so soft and pink, ready to be kissed. His skin was slightly tanned by the June sun. Louis was always in awe of Harry's beauty. How his curls would just perfectly fall onto his face, how his lips were always the perfect colour, how his eyes sparkled as he smiled and how his dimples came forward when he laughed. Louis could cry, he loved Harry so deeply.
Harry's words from the night came back to him. He knew Harry didn't mean it, or did he? He couldn't have. It was just something he said in the heat of the moment. At least that's what Louis hoped. But there was some truth to it after all, Louis had a difficult time when it came to sleeping alone. His anxiety almost always came at night and sleeping beside Harry, calmed it down. Having somebody to hold or to wake up if it became really bad, was a comfort. Harry knew this and had never judged or said a word about it. Maybe his words from the night was what he actually thought. Harry might've actually always thought it was a childish behaviour Louis had. He tried to shake off the thought. He placed a hand on Harry's chin, tracing his lips with his fingers. He wanted to kiss them so badly, he was craving Harry's lips on his. They hadn't kissed in days, Louis couldn't remember the last time they went over a day without sharing a kiss. He bent down, pressing his lips lightly on Harry's.
Harry woke up.
"Hey, you're awake." He said, his morning voice was darker than usual.
"Yeah, been up for a while." Louis said, his hand still on Harry's chin. "What are you doing home?"
Harry sat up, resting his back on the door frame, opposite of Louis.
"I called in sick. Couldn't leave knowing I hurt you."
Louis heart almost exploded. He wanted to hug him so badly, he wanted to hold him tightly in his arms and never let go.
"I didn't mean what I said, I hope you know that. I was angry and tired, I'm so sorry." Harry took Louis' hands in his. His thumb stroke the palm of Louis' hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it.
Louis took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about getting fired. I was so upset and when you came home that day, you were upset too and I didn't want to make your day worse so I kept it quiet. I know it's not an excuse, don't worry, but I suppose it's a reason why I didn't tell you at first. Then I just kept on lying, I'm really sorry Harry, trust me I am. But I need your help now, please."
He didn't know why but those sentences were so hard to say. He had never been good at expressing his feelings, not in words anyways. Harry was always the one who talked about feelings. Whenever Louis was feeling down, Harry led the conversation and helped him feel better. Louis was so bad at that. He could never comfort Harry like that, he just hugged him and kissed him and hoped that would be enough - which it often was. But sometimes it wasn't and this time might've been one of those, Louis thought. Harry needed an apology, a sincere one. But Louis was too upset to give him one.
Because of Harry's ability to express his feelings and help Louis express his, they barely ever fought. This time Louis knew he had fucked up, he knew it was his fault completely but for some reason he kept blaming Harry for feeling upset. He felt really bad about it, Harry didn't deserve that at all. Louis felt his eyes tear up again, gosh he was pathetic.
Harry pulled him in for a hug, he held him tightly and said:
"Oh baby, don't cry, it's okay." In the softest voice which made Louis sob even more. "Lou, first of all I don't want you to ever feel like you can't share your thoughts and feelings because I'm down. I always want you to be able to express yourself and you know that. I will always encourage you to speak up babe. Second of all, thank you for apologizing. I was hurt and maybe I didn't react as I should have and I'm sorry for that. I'll always help you, Lou, you don't even have to ask."
"I love you, Harry."
He still hadn't let go of the hug. They sat there and Louis let all his tears out as Harry stroke his back gently. Louis felt safe.