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Eloise was never one for extravagant balls.
However, she had no choice. So, she found herself at Lady Danbury’s ball, the first of the season. It was Eloise’s second summer on the marriage mart, much to her own dismay. It wasn’t that she wanted to marry, it was that she wanted people to see how badly she failed last summer and believe her to be a lost cause. Leaving her to do whatever she pleased.
Eloise soon learned that The Ton is not so easily satisfied, or so eager to move on.
She preferred to cling to the walls, fade into the background. In fact, Eloise loved to imagine all of the walls she had clung to over the years. At least 80% of the stately homes in London were covered in imaginary claw marks by now.
The open conservatory was hot, stuffy. Eloise couldn’t imagine her life being any worse. She was grateful for Lady Danbury, a friend to her mother, and her home was decorated beautifully.. but this wasn’t her.
She suddenly became highly aware of everything. The clinking of glasses, the tightness of her corset, the pins in her hair that were hurting her scalp. “I can’t do this,” she whispered to herself.
She walked, practically ran, out of the room. Being on the outskirts meant that she went unnoticed, or so she thought.
Once she made her way outside she paused and steadied herself. Looking around to see if she was alone, the garden wasn’t exactly a private space.
Surprisingly, she was. She removed her heels and walked down the grass. The home was known for having beautiful gardens and they certainly weren’t wrong. Eloise threw her shoes to the ground, along with herself. She could hear the faint chatter of the ball in the background, she found it to be quite soothing. To be alone but not feel it. That was something she often struggled with.
She laid on her back and looked up at the stars, wondering about all the ways she could get there. After five minutes of staring something obstructed her view. Her eyes had gotten used to the darkness, she had to squint and blink a few times for her brain to register what she was seeing. It was a pair of eyes and light blonde hair, along with a smirk.
Cressida?
”What are you doing?” she asked, gazing down on Eloise as if she had lost it.
Eloise sat up quickly, her mind scattered, she turned around and meekly smiled at the Cowper girl.
”Me? Oh, I’m just-just relaxing, and taking in nature.”
“Nature?” Cressida responded, sounding unconvinced.
”Yes, I simply love nature. I love the trees and how.. green they are” Eloise trailed off, sounding unsure of herself.
”Its dark, Eloise. You can’t see the green.”
Oh.
Eloise knew she had been caught out. How embarrassing, she thought. Another scandal to the Bridgerton name: Eloise Bridgerton has gone mad. She could see it now, Lady Whistledown, or Penelope, would surely have to write about it.
”Eloise are you okay? I saw you leave the room, you looked quite panicked.” Cressida said quietly, she had now moved around Eloise and was standing in front of her.
Eloise couldn’t hold it in any longer.
”If we’re being transparent, no. I’m not. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not meant for this, I don’t want this.”
The look on Cressida’s face changed, Eloise couldn’t quite grasp what the other girl was thinking. “Don’t think I’m mad, I’m just.. tired.” she responded, lying back down on the grass dramatically.
Cressida laughed, it was a bark of a laugh. Not what you’d expect from her. Eloise lifted her head up, still lying down.
”Are you laughing at me?” She asked.
Cressida continued laughing, “I’m so sorry Eloise, it’s not funny but you’re so dramatic.”
Dramatic?
The word caused Eloise to sit up again, “I’m dramatic? I’m sorry Cressida but that’s very rich coming from you.”
”Oh hush Eloise,” the blonde responded, before sitting down on the grass next to her.
Eloise paused. “Did you just shush me?” she asked.
”I did. What are you going to do about it?”
The comment caught Eloise off-guard, she glanced up at Cressida to find her already staring back at her. She felt her face getting warm, no, actually hot. Very hot.
“I- I- um I don’t-“ she stumbled over her words.
“Calm down, Eloise” Cressida laughed, pushing her arm. The contact seemed to bring Eloise back from wherever her mind went when she rushed outside. She felt slightly normal again. She thought about their conversation and started laughing.
“I’m sorry, I’m just-“
”Stressed? I can tell.”
Eloise looked at the Cowper girl and rolled her eyes lightheartedly. “I didn’t realise you could read minds now,” she quipped.
The comment made Cressida raise an eyebrow, amused.
”I saw you leave early, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I can leave if you’d like?” she said, getting ready to stand.
”No, no-“ Eloise said quickly. “Stay.”
Cressida relaxed on the ground again, looking down at her dress. “My mother will be so cross at me for dirtying my dress.” she said quietly, although slightly unfazed.
Eloise looked at the gown, “You can blame me.” she joked.
”Oh don’t worry, I was already going to.”
The girls looked at each other and burst out laughing, the noise was sure to be heard by anyone near the entrance to the garden but they didn’t care.
”What were you doing before I came out here?” Cressida asked once the laughter had died down.
”I was.. looking at the stars.” Eloise trailed off, slightly embarrassed.
Cressida looked to the sky, ”I love the stars, although I don’t know much about them. My parents never cared for teaching me much about astronomy..”
Cressida wasn’t one to usually open up to others, let alone someone she didn’t truly know.
“I read a book about them, not so long ago.” Eloise said, looking over to her. “I could.. show you them?” she added quietly, expecting Cressida to laugh at her or decline the offer.
”I would like that,” Cressida said quietly, smiling.
The girls laid down on the grass, looking up at the sky. The social event behind them, long forgotten.
”I’m still learning, so don’t- don’t expect me to be an expert because I am so-“
”Eloise its fine, I know nothing. You do. So, you’re already ahead of me.” Cressida said, Eloise could tell she was trying to make her feel better and she was grateful for it.
She glanced over to her, causing Cressida to look back. They smiled at each other, and stared.
“Eloise? Are you going to-“
”The stars! Yes, the stars. I will um- I will show you now-“
Eloise quickly looked back up to the sky, she could feel her face burning as Cressida gazed upon her face.
”Over there is Orion, it’s known for being one of the most recognisable constellations in the sky.” Eloise said as the pointed to the stars.
”Over there?” Cressida said as she pointed slightly left of where it was.
”No,” Eloise said as she grabbed her hand and guided her to where the constellation was. “It’s there.”
The instinct to grab her hand shocked Eloise, but she didn’t remove it. She couldn’t. She felt paralysed. She didn’t mean to, she was trying to help her, but she felt guilty for some reason. As if what she was doing was wrong.
She dropped her hand.
”I’m sorry-“
”No need to apologise,” Cressida responded as she looked over to her. “You were only helping.”
Helping.
Even though she was right, Eloise felt slightly deflated. She wasn’t entirely sure why.
The girls chatted over stars and the sky for another ten minutes, laughing every once in a while.
“What is this?!”
The girls laughing instantly seized and they sat up quickly. Eloise felt dizzy from the sudden movement.
It was Lady Cowper.
”Cressida, your dress is filthy! How do you expect to find a husband looking like this?”
Cressida looked down, ashamed. Eloise felt as if she was now sat next to a different person, the confidence that radiated from her now gone.
The girls rose to their feet, standing awkwardly, unaware of what to do.
”Miss Bridgerton, I expect your family will be looking for you soon, if not already.”
Eloise took that her cue to leave. This was something she usually spent the entire evening looking forward to, but this time she didn’t want to.
She knew she had no choice though.
She glanced towards Cressida, “I shall take my leave then. It was nice speaking to you, Cressida.”
Hearing her name, Cressida glanced up at the Bridgerton girl. Looking at her apologetically. They seemed to communicate silently, vowing to each other that this wouldn’t be the end of the conversation.
Eloise quickly walked away and back up the garden to the ball. She decided to look over her shoulder, finding Cressida already staring back at her.
Eloise wasn’t one for balls, but for the first time in her life she couldn’t wait for the next one.