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"And for once, you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts.
One step, not much
But it said enough."
The first thing Ciel felt upon coming to was the gentle hand stroking his cheek. In his muddled mind still riddled with sleep, he could at least take notice of the skin to skin contact, making the touch feel much more intimate. He keeps his eyes closed, reveling in the tenderness of the moment that presented itself to him, allowing himself just this one moment for a while before he wakes up and the moment has to come to an end.
Only when the hand stroking his cheek ceased its movements does Ciel finally deign to open his eyes. He blinks rapidly for a few moments, adjusting to the brightness of the sunlight that now fills room. He then turns his head and is greeted by the sight of his butler laying down next to him, turned on his side and just intently gazing at Ciel. Their eyes meet for a brief second before Ciel has to look away, still unused to the way that his demon makes him feel.
Ciel can’t exactly remember when it was that this has become such a regular occurrence, but it’s certainly gone on for so long that Ciel does not bat an eye at seeing Sebastian laying next to him. In fact, he’d even go so far as to say that his sleeping has marginally gotten better ever since they started sharing his bed. The simple feeling of another body sharing the bed with him, even if it belonged to a demon, was welcoming and strangely comforting. He would never be caught admitting this to the demon out loud.
“Good morning, my lord,” comes the greeting from his butler. Perfectly polite, just what you’d expect from a servant, if not for the fact he’s currently laying in bed with his lord. He turns to look at Sebastian again, the demon looking perfectly content from where he was laying, a small smile now playing on his lips as he greeted him.
Ciel replies with a small hum and nod of his head, trying to appear completely unaffected by the sight his butler made. “What time is it?”
Sebastian doesn’t immediately deign Ciel with a response. Instead, he scoots himself over just a little more, just enough to hold his little master in his arms. Ciel only squirms and struggles for a few mere seconds, relenting only when he realizes Sebastian has no intentions of letting him go. He freezes when he feels Sebastian bury his face in his hair, taking a deep inhale, before mumbling his reply to the question. “Only half past 9, sir.”
The young earl slowly eases into the demon’s touch, finding comfort in the fact that Sebastian would not do anything to harm him even if those very hands held the power to. Even if Ciel knows that it’s because the demon is bound by a term in their contract, he cannot help himself from wondering if without the contract, Sebastian would still choose not to harm him. He shakes his head and decides he wishes to remain unaware. It’s dangerous to dwell on the what if’s.
“And yet you did not wake me? Am I to believe that you’re starting to fall behind on your duties, Sebastian?” Ciel asks, playing every bit of the arrogant and haughty nobleman that he’s mastered over the years. He does not look back to look in his servant’s eyes as he addresses him with such words, only ever so slightly terrified of the surge of feelings that may rise up in him if he did.
A soft chuckle sounds from behind him, Ciel almost shuddering as he fully feels the soft rumble of laughter from the demon pressed against his back. He feels himself be pulled in even closer, unable to voice even just a simple noise of complaint knowing full well Sebastian wouldn’t listen and only do the opposite of what he’d tell him to do. The butler’s voice is still muffled through Ciel’s hair when he replies. “It wounds me that you would even think of such a thing, sir. I have sent the servants away to town for today. Only you and I remain in the manor.”
Upon hearing that, Ciel couldn’t help but start to wonder just what would have made Sebastian decide to do that. In the years that he’s known of the demon, Ciel can confidently say that he knows Sebastian well enough to know that there must be some kind of ulterior motive behind it. He’s the type to plan his actions carefully with a frightening amount of thought put into it if nothing else. And despite the fragile beginnings of this newfound trust, if Ciel could call it that, that has begun to take shape between them, altering the very foundation of their relationship, Ciel believes he still has every right to be wary around his demon.
“And why would you do that?”
“Why, I believe that my selfishness took over me when I chose to do so. I wish to spend time with you alone, my little lord.”
Unbidden, Ciel’s heart leapt in his chest and he could only hope, futile as it was, that Sebastian could not hear nor feel it. It certainly pleases him to no end to know that the demon desires him to such an extent. To know that Sebastian desired him so much so that he had gone and decided to make an arguably irrational decision. Because if there’s one other thing that Ciel is sure of when it comes to Sebastian, it’s that the demon absolutely detests an already planned schedule to be thrown for a loop with some unexpected variable. The earl could only imagine that Sebastian has originally already planned this day down to every detail and yet he had set that aside in order to do something as mundane as just spending time with him. A foolish choice, yes, but one that pleases Ciel no less.
The young master shifts around in the demon’s tight hold around him, pleased when Sebastian loosens his grip just enough so that he could turn around and finally look his butler in the eyes. When he finally turns around to face Sebastian, his butler wastes no time in wrapping his arms around him again and bringing him in closer. It would seem to him that the demon isn’t so easily content with just laying with his master; he seems to always have this need to touch him one way or another.
“Quite a needy demon you are,” Ciel mutters under his breath, only feeling Sebastian tighten his embrace in reply alongside a small laugh and he huffs. “To think that you would go through such lengths to spend time with me.”
“Of course, master,” Sebastian smoothly replies and Ciel could hear the smile in his voice before he could even look up, his eyes finally meeting Sebastian’s for the second time since he woke up. He looks so uncharacteristically soft with the smile he currently wears. Gone is the usual pleasant and proper smile that he reserves for just about everyone else. It isn’t just his smile that feels different too; he looks so awfully content with the way things are now with Ciel in his arms and the proximity between them. The Ciel during the beginning of the contract certainly never would have thought he’d live to see the day to see Sebastian look at him so fondly. “Surely you have no qualms with the way things have turned out?”
Ciel’s initial response was a resounding yes, he does take issue with it, but even that answer gave him a bit of a pause as he rolls the answer around on his tongue. Does he truly mind it? No, he wouldn’t say that it does. Any earlier iteration of himself would most likely have disagreed and instead choose to spend his time in a more meaningful manner that isn’t just Sebastian cuddling him in bed. But this is the him of now and he finds that his general attitude and perception of the demon has certainly changed quite drastically.
While he may have once just thought of Sebastian as another mere pawn to be used, it’s no longer the same now. He has begrudgingly come to terms with the fact that he and Sebastian may have perhaps always stood on equal ground and he holds the demon in much higher regard now. How could he not when Sebastian truly has been so devoted and loyal in his service to him for so long? Ciel isn’t unwise; he knows quite well that Sebastian may not just be in this for his mere soul anymore. A quick recalling of the time they’d spent in Germany would remind him of that.
“No,” Ciel would slowly answer after gathering his thoughts. “No, I suppose not.”
To answer with such a startling sincerity, it felt as if he was allowing himself to be laid bare in all of his entirety to be perceived with all of his vulnerabilities. It would usually send his skin crawling and the itch to get away would be near impossible to ignore, but he’s slowly come to terms with the fact that he perhaps does not mind if he were to do so in front of Sebastian. It’s not like it’s nothing new; Sebastian has seen him at his lowest time and time again and yet he still remains so patient with him. He can’t even begin to fathom why it is that the demon is still so enamored with him.
Sebastian brings Ciel in closer to him, ungloved fingers coming up to gently caress the young earl’s face. The touch is so tender and so careful and Ciel’s heart stutters at being touched as if he were something so valuable and so delicate. It completely goes against the image he’s conjured of himself to the public and the one he’s conjured in his head. After a moment’s worth of hesitation, he leans into the touch, deciding to allow himself just this small bit of affection if only for one everlasting second. The young lord’s eyes flutter close coupled with a sigh when he does and he completely misses the look of utter awe on the demon’s face as he did.
He spends a few seconds in tranquil silence, leaning into the warmth of Sebastian’s palm cradling his cheek, enjoying all of this for how long it would last. As he does, a now familiar feeling wells up from within him, a wave of security and contentment wrapping him up like a blanket would through the touch of a demon that could very well end him in mere seconds. It truly does wonders for him to know that he has a demon so wrapped up around his fingers, perhaps just as much as he is with the creature.
When he opens them again, Sebastian is staring at him so intently that it was almost enough for him to back away but he fights against that urge and instead stares back. A sort of unresolved tension crackles in the air when their eyes made contact and Ciel is at a loss at how to deal with it. Sure, he and his butler are much closer than the usual master and servant. Nothing about them particularly yells out adhering to normalcy.
Wordlessly, Sebastian moves his hand from Ciel’s cheek to underneath his chin to tilt his face up. The tension is just about reaching its boiling point as the demon starts to lean in. Ciel’s heart starts to beat even more wildly in his chest. From this close, he could take in every single feature of the demon’s almost uncannily perfect face, not a single flaw in sight, and it’s almost unfair how beautiful he looked for how much darkness he held beneath this guise.
Ciel can hear the demon’s breath from how close he’s gotten now and he isn’t that clueless to not know what Sebastian is getting at now. He shakily breathes out and he watches as Sebastian’s gaze drifts down to his lips when he did so, the demon no doubt getting a kick at being able to pull such a reaction from him again. Ciel steels himself and reaches up a hand to pull on Sebastian’s tie, reveling in the shock that passed through the demon’s eyes and smirking up at him.
“What do you want, Sebastian?” Ciel whispers.
Sebastian stays quiet for a second before brushing a thumb against the young earl’s lips, eyes focused intently on him. He willingly leans in once more, the demon’s breath ghosting Ciel’s lips. “If you would be so kind, my lord, perhaps you could indulge me once again.”
The young lord chuckles as he leans in himself, whispering against Sebastian’s lips, “So eager. Very well then,” and their lips meet in such a gentle kiss as they both move in tandem, so completely in tune with each other. Ciel sighs as he allows himself to relax in the arms of the devil, small fingers coming up to rest and thread through black hair, the action coaxing a small pleased noise from Sebastian. It’s so soft and so tender and so awfully filled with affection. Ciel knew then that what they had, what was blossoming between them, unnamed as it is now, would certainly be a conversation to be had another day.
But not now. For now, Ciel is content to be lost in the feeling of his death’s lips against his.