Chapter Text
“You’re with Cerberus now…”
Katerina Shepard watched as Kaidan’s eyes filled with horror and confusion. He backed away as if he was disgusted by her. It had been two years since she’d seen him—two years since she heard his voice or felt his touch. The moment Kat regained consciousness and could speak, she asked for him. She searched everywhere she could to find any bits of information on him. So naturally, when the Illusive Man just happened to mention that Kaidan was stationed on Horizon, she asked Joker to set a course immediately.
She knew their reunion would be confusing and maybe even a little bit awkward but she hadn’t expected this. She had just processed him yelling at her and telling her that he loved her. Now here he is disgusted by her presence for a choice she wasn’t even alive to make. She still doesn’t know how she ended up in a Cerberus lab. She’s only been awake for a matter of days, she didn’t have all the answers to her questions, let alone his questions. What she did have was a plan and although she didn’t like it, she needed Cerberus and their resources to complete that plan. Surely Kaidan knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t willingly betray the Alliance or him. Right?
Her thoughts were interrupted by Garrus’,
“Reports? You mean you already knew”
“Alliance intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. I got a tip that this one might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me but there were rumors that you weren’t dead. That you were working for the enemy.”
The enemy
There it is. This is how he sees her now, as the enemy. She felt her heart drop to her stomach but refused to let it deter her. She tried to explain that she doesn’t work for Cerberus but that they want the same thing and that she sees this to be a temporary alliance. Hell, even broken clocks are right twice a day. She wanted him to understand that she was still her despite Cerberus' involvement.
Kaidan didn’t want to hear it. He continued to let his feelings about this newfound alliance be known.
“Do you really believe that or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think?” he asked as he approached her.
“I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance, you betrayed me.”
She couldn’t believe that after all they had gone through to stop Saren and Sovereign, he would question her like this. She understands his confusion and anger. She understands he’s hurting but it seems he’s letting his emotions and opinions on Cerberus get in the way of the truth. She is not and will not work for Cerberus in the way he’s accusing.
She tried to explain herself to him. She pointed out that the Collectors are the ones abducting the human colonies. She wanted him to see that she would only be doing this for the right reason. She realized her attempts were falling on deaf ears when he replied,
“I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don’t trust Cerberus”.
All she could do at that moment was sigh. She isn’t asking him to trust Cerberus, she is asking him to trust her. He had always been stubborn in his beliefs and that was part of why she loved him. However, it’s starting to appear that his stubbornness will be their downfall.
She must have tuned out while Kaidan hurled insults at Cerberus because she heard Miranda chime in,
“Typical Alliance attitude. You’re so hung up on Cerberus, that you can’t see the real threat.”
For the first time since she woke up, she was inclined to agree with Miranda.
Shepard pointed out that Kaidan isn’t seeing the facts anymore.
“Maybe. Or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you’re the one who’s not thinking straight.”
He struck a nerve she had hoped he would avoid.
She did feel like she may have owed Cerberus something. She still doesn’t understand why they went to great lengths to bring her back. They gave her a second chance at life–a life she wanted Kaidan to be part of. Despite his repeated attempts at leaving her new life, she hoped that one final attempt would change his mind.
“I could use someone like you in my crew, Kaidan. It’ll be just like old times” She hoped the softness and sincerity of her statement would get him to see she’s been telling the truth.
Without hesitation, he declined her offer. “No, it won't, I’ll never work for Cerberus. Goodbye Shepard, and be safe”
Goodbye Shepard
It replayed in her head as she watched him walk away without a single glance back. At that moment, everything was over. Her relationship with him, her friendship with him, all gone. She turned around to see Garrus and Miranda simply looking at her. It wasn’t a look of pity, but she couldn’t make it out.
She quickly reached for her headpiece and said,
“Joker, send the shuttle to pick us up. I’ve had enough of this colony.”