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Yuuta had no words to describe how it felt like to be flooded with 29 years worth of memories in an instant moment.
At first it wasn't that bad, he wasn't even fully aware of his newfound knowledge of someone else's entire life. But then he made the mistake of simply thinking. Not about anything in particular, just making use of basic brain functions. After that point, he got stuck in a long series of 'remembering' everything Gojo Satoru used to have stored in that magnificent body of his.
There were all kinds of things.
Simple and harmless memories, like eating dinner with the Fushiguro siblings, like playing games at an arcade with the others in high school, like relentlessly bullying Utahime for no reason at all. He 'remembered' a time where Gojo was merely a child, already so strong and so powerful. He was walking side by side with a woman Yuuta didn't kno— wait. He did know. Because Gojo knew. That was one of his maids. Little Satoru's favorite, in fact, as she was the only one who was able to see him as a child rather than some high being. That knowledge hurt Yuuta a little.
He also possessed random facts Gojo knew; like how he had a mole at his right armpit (for some reason Yuuta didn't even think armpits could have moles before this), like how Ieiri-san (it was Shoko now, Gojo called her that) finished med school in 2 years, like how there were Digimon characters based on Peter Pan chatacters, like how Megumi had the ugliest handwriting known to men as a kid —it was so bad that his school would give him extra work to fix it, and Gojo found that extremely hilarious.
He got to know some deep secrets and dark facts like how after the battle against Geto Suguru about a year ago, he had ended his own best friend's life barely 10 minutes before coming to check on them with his cheerful and childish attitude. Like how Geto Suguru was the one-and-only friend of Gojo who had found Yuuta's student ID. Like how Gojo had killed Megumi's father with his own hands. Like how Megumi didn't even know that Gojo had done that. Hell, he didn't even know his father was dead. Was Yuuta supposed to be the one to share the news with Megumi now? No, Gojo had apparently trusted Shoko with that. If Megumi made it out of this in the first place and the time came where he wanted to know, would Megumi prefer to hear it from Yuuta though? Would he prefer to be able to see the face of the man while finding out about such things? Yuuta didn't know, neither did Gojo.
He got to know about moments from Gojo's life that had altered his entire being, though he would much prefer if he could block out these moments. He felt like he didn't have the right to access such vulnerable moments just like that. But he could, and now he knew them all.
A girl named Riko Amanai, supposedly Tengen's vessel. The moment Gojo had almost died from Toji's sword. A guy named Yu Haibara. The moment Principle Yaga had told Gojo about what Geto had done. The moment Geto Suguru had turned his back to Gojo Satoru at Nishishinjuku. The time Gojo had practically threatened the higher ups to keep Yuuta alive. Yuuta could sit down and sob about the act for hours, especially because he now knew Gojo did that purely because he wanted Yuuta to be able to enjoy his youth. It sucked to know he wasn't quite enjoying it, despite Gojo's efforts.
The first time Gojo had met little Megumi, and how the first thing he had noticed was how much the kid looked like his father. The time Geto Suguru had appeared at Jujutsu High a decade later, the last moments they shared together. Yuuta hated how he could 'remember' the pain the moment had caused Gojo. The last words Gojo Satoru had said to Geto Suguru, words that were so sacred and so sentimental for the man. The breakdown Gojo had went through all alone later that night.
That moment in Shibuya that had changed humanity's fate for the worse: the moment when Kenjaku, mercilessly carrying the body of Geto Suguru, had appeared right behind him and called his name. Even though his voice carried not even an ounce of the softness and sentiment Geto Suguru always had when calling his name, he had wanted to believe it was genuinely him.
The moment he had gotten out of the Prison Realm and found Sukuna in Megumi's body. His Megumi, the kid he raised, his grumpy little boy with his sea urchin hair transformed into something so unlike him, so evil, so wrong. The tightness in his chest Gojo had felt momentarily when he realized that he had to kill him.
The guilt he had felt when hearing about all the things that had happened after he had gotten sealed.
The short-lived moment when Gojo thought he had won the battle, unsure if he should be happy about saving humanity or sad about the loss of Megumi. The feeling of the slash that cut through his dilemma, and Sukuna's distant voice praising him as life seeped out of Gojo Satoru.
Yuuta had always believed he understood the man better than some people did, being able to notice how weaponified the guy had been his entire life. Yuuta himself had been an outcast for years before joining Jujutsu High, simply because he was different —he was way stronger than the people around him. He had wrongfully believed he understood the man until now.
Literally becoming him came with the agonizing understanding of being the strongest, not being seen as a human being, shouldering the weight of humanity all by yourself. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?" For everyone around him, he had been Gojo Satoru because he was the strongest. A man only known for and defined by his strength. Perhaps only Yuuta would be able to know that they were wrong. He was the strongest because he was Gojo Satoru.
Yuuta hated it. Hated how he hadn't been able to do anything about it, how he hadn't done anything to make the man who saved his life and helped him feel worthy of existence feel like a human for even a moment. Hated how it was too late and he couldn't do anything about it as Gojo was long gone and he inhabited his body. At least he knew Gojo held no grudge about it. He knew how Gojo loved and cared about every single one of his students, including him. He knew that even if a part of the man felt like he was never going to die (a side effect of being divinized by everyone day and night), Gojo was sure he would die for his students over and over again if he ever had to.
He had to repay his dear teacher by showing him he had raised the strong generation he had dreamed of. He was going to carry the man's legacy for as long as he carried his body.
Hoping that Gojo Satoru was watching over them wherever he was, Okkotsu Yuuta opened his eyes.
