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“Can we stop, Angel?”
It took a bit of effort for Husk to get that out. They were already down to their underwear with a clear goal. At first Husk had wanted it ,too, but something changed and he felt uneasy. He didn’t like needing to ask for that. He wanted to make Angel happy no matter what and that wasn’t really the way to do that.
Angel had been busy planting kisses on Husk’s throat and running his hands all over him. As soon as Husk had finished his request, Angel's mouth and hands are immediately off him. “Of course we can.”
He climbed off him to sit down between Husk’s legs. Husk scooted up to lean against the headboard. He tried to stretch his wings but it didn’t help. There was pressure behind his eyes. His bones hurt and Angel’s worried gaze made his heart hurt. Husk was wriggling around nervously, constantly readjusting.
“What’s wrong?” Angel asked after a moment of just watching him.
Husk gave him a defeated shrug. He really wasn’t sure. He was overwhelmed. Never before had there been a reason to ask Angel to stop. They were gentle with each other - always made sure both of them were comfortable. It was always nice for him. There was a big knot in his stomach. He was upset with himself. Upset that he felt uncomfortable with something he usually loved.
“I'm glad ya said stop when ya needed to but I gotta know if it's something I did so I can be better ‘bout it next time.”
“Nothing you did.” Husk shook his head slowly. “I usually like the stuff you did. I just don't like them right now, I think. My back really doesn’t feel good.”
“Gotcha. Ya wanna try somethin’ else? Different position?”
He shook his head again and then shrugged again. He wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean either. His head felt foggy. “I don’t know what I want. I'm sorry.”
“That’s nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout, love.” Angel smiled softly at him and then suggested: “How 'bout I tell you somethin’ I'd want to do and ya tell me if you'd like it?”
That sounded way more manageable to Husk. It would be easier to think about what Angel offered than having to come up with something on his own. He nodded. “Sounds good.”
“I’d like cuddlin’ but under the covers so it's nice and toasty. And I wanna hold ya tight against my chest.”
Husk finally cracked a small smile. He could do that. They could find a position that wouldn’t hurt too much. Maybe even one that would feel good. And it was reassuring to know that Angel still wanted to have him close. He wanted him close, too. Hold him, smell him, feel his warm fur against his.
“I'd like that, too.”
“Good,” Angel exclaimed.
They had to shift and move around the bed awkwardly for a bit until all their limbs were under the covers. With one freakishly tall spider and one winged cat, that truly wasn’t that easy. Angel was laying on his back, Husk tugged against his side, one leg swung over one of Angel's, so he was half on top of him. Husk’s head was laying on Angel’s chest, listening to his breathing. One paw resting on Angel’s waist, kneading just slightly.
“Are you really okay with just cuddling?” Husk asked against Angel's chest. He couldn’t look at him right now.
“Of course, I am.” Angel kissed the top of his head, between his ears. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t feel good,” Husk nuzzled even closer. “I'm sorry that you couldn’t get off.”
“What’s wrong with you, kitty? Ya know that’s not what's important, right?”
There was so much guilt eating him from the inside. He should have just bucked up and went on with it. “But you were so excited,” was all he got out.
“You're bein’ an idiot. When am I not excited to do anythin’ with you?” Angel sighed. “Ya have no reason to be sorry. Are ya mad when I say no to somethin’ or need to stop?”
Husk flinched, snapping up to look at Angel. “No, of course not. I would never be mad about that.”
What a dumb question! Of course, that was okay. Angel's comfort was the most important thing.
“Okay, so why do ya think I would?”
Husk made a little “oh” sound. He didn’t have an answer. Angel never gave him a reason to feel like his “no” wasn’t okay. He always did his best to respect Husk’s boundaries. Angel always took care of him.
“Well, I guess I am being an idiot.”
Angel laughed a little. “Just to make sure. You’re not an idiot for sayin’ stop. You’re an idiot for thinkin’ I'd be mad ‘bout it.”
Husk snorted. “Got it.”
He buried his face back in the fluff of Angel’s chest. It all felt dumb now. Like an overreaction. Why would he be so nervous and guilty about something he thought was totally good and healthy when Angel did it? He would much rather stop than continue with Angel being unhappy. So why did he set different standard for himself?
Husk felt Angel rub his cheek against the top of his head. It made him purr quietly. Angel would smell like him after and he loved that Angel seeked it out.
“Are ya comfy, baby?”
“Yeah.” Husk squeezed Angel's waist. “Would you rub my back?”
Angel started rubbing little circles onto his lower back. With more pressure, one hand ran und and down the space between his wings. He sighed, the tension slowly bleeding out of his muscles. His purr picked up in volume and he couldn't surpress the love-struck smile.
“Good kitty.” Angel cooed, knowing Husk was far too relaxed to protest.