Work Text:
Maxim de Winter:
Manderley was my Eden. Rebecca was my serpent. My second wife is my Eve.
And now, we are on the run! Expelled from my beloved Eden, my Manderley!
Was I really happy in my Eden? In my early boyhood years - yes! In my adolescent years - not so much. During my many, many years of marriage to Rebecca? NO! My parents instilled in me my great responsibility as the owner of this glorious estate. I was to succeed my father as a leader and the upholder of the family’s pride and honor. This duty weighed heavily upon me as I grew into manhood.
I served as an officer in the Great War. I led men into the bloodiest of battles. I came away from my military service shaken. I had seen things that no one should see. I had done things that I worked hard to repress.
It was my grandmother who brought Rebecca to me. “This is the woman for you, Maxim! She has brains, beauty, and breeding.” I foolishly allowed my grandmother to control my life. It is true that I was enchanted by Rebecca’s beauty but I should have waited and taken time to truly get to know her. I rushed into my marriage with Rebecca which was the beginning of my destruction.
By making a devil’s bargain with Rebecca, my enchantment for her withered and transformed into a deep hatred - for her and for myself. How could I be so stupid? In the end, I murdered her. How could I have done something so evil?
Reflecting upon my life, I now see that I learned very little. I once again rushed into marriage - this time with my second wife, my Eve. She blocked out the past for me and that was all that I cared about. I deluded myself into thinking that I was saving her from her dead end fate as a lady’s companion. In fact, I brought her into my private hell and destroyed her youth and innocence.
When Rebecca’s body was found and it looked like my crime would bring me to the gallows, I confessed to my wife and shared the ugly details of my life with - and murder of - Rebecca.
My wife thinks that there are no longer any secrets between us. She is wrong. I am 25 years (not 21) older than her. A small conceit to hide my male vanity.
I also could not bring myself to reveal that Rebecca had shared the sordid details of her life five weeks (and not five days) after our marriage. I could not share that for the first five weeks of my marriage, I was deeply in love with Rebecca. I foolishly thought that Rebecca was my soulmate and that she returned my love. I foolishly thought that our morning and nightly "hair drills" were proof of our great love.
Five weeks after our marriage, Rebecca hatefully revealed that I was just not enough for her. She did not love me and had never loved me. Stunned, and fearing humiliation and scandal, I accepted her proposal that she would transform Manderley into a grand showcase in return for my promise that she could carry on her sordid life in her London hideaway. We each agreed to continue our sham of a marriage with the understanding that she was never to bring her lovers and sordid "friends" anywhere near Manderley. My current wife must never learn that Rebecca had once been my greatest love.
I smoke and I smoke and I smoke to try to forget…..
Mrs. de Winter (Eve/Wife # 2)
Manderley was both a heaven and a hell for me (mostly a hell) - both a dream and a nightmare!
Manderley overwhelmed me. When Maxim finally confessed his love for me, I truly thought that I would now find the strength to be the true Mrs. de Winters. At last, I discovered a courage within myself to try to learn how to become the lady of the manor.
I was not completely heartbroken when Manderley burned to the ground. The destruction of Manderley freed me from being the one and only Mrs. de Winters. I was now free to be me - Maxim’s lover and companion.
Since his confession to me, my husband thinks that there are no longer any secrets between us. He is wrong. I have hidden a lie from him for many years. I was 18 years old (not 21) when we met and married. A small secret to hide my fear that he will reject me for being too young.
Maxim is no longer my gentleman unknown - he has become a sad and broken man. Try as I might, I am not able to save him from his deep despair. At this writing, we are on the run traveling from one second rate hotel to the next.
Does he love me? I don’t know. Does he need me? Yes!