Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kenji: The end is coming!*

Ranpo: Course it is

Dazai: pow tze gell tan yop even tyoe so
fast

Ranpo: ...That spelling is atrocious

karl: Even I can spell better than that💀

Nikolai: 🎩🪄

Nikolai: KARL

Nikolai:KARL

Tanzinaki: Why the fuck is he in here?

Nikolai: I WANR A REMATHC

Karl: No

Nikolai: Come on

Poe: …Karl?

Poe: Karl why does the creepy clown want to have a rematch?

Poe: Karl

Poe: Karl, What did you do?

Karl: 🦝

Ranpo: Understandable

Fyodor: Your spelling is indeed horrible Dazai. I guess some things never change.

Dazai: Fjkc yoi to

Fyodor: …

Karl: 💀

Mori: My phone was blowing up what is this?

Dazai: Fyck pou gl bcak th hesl

Mori: …
What?

Dazai:🖕

Mori: Oh.
You’re typing is shit

Karl: *Your

Mori: LOL

Tanizaki: Wait why is he saying LOL?

Ranpo: Elise stole Mori’s phone

Tanizaki: How did you even get that from one text?

Mori: Ran Rans right I stole his phone

Dazai: 👏

Tanizaki: why she calling you Ran Ran though?

Yasano: The end is coming!*

Nikolai🪄✨️

Bram: How so?
As in a vampire apocalypse?

Tanizaki: …
That's awfully specific

Kunikida: The end is coming!*

Dazai: Oh shit

Fyodor: Hmmm.
So you can spell.

Nikolai:🪄✨️

Tanizaki: If Kunikida’a panicking then I think we’re screwed

Mori: LOL

Karl: fr

Chuuya: This just in: The end is in our future*

Dazai: I hjonestkly dpont nkoe whyat to thiankle

Mori: what

Karl: What the hell

Poe: …It physically hurts me reading your texts

Ranpo: I can write better than him with my eyes closed

Dazai:😭

Chuuya: Evidence has come to light
It's all deranged*

Nikolai: Sooooooooo
Is the world ending or not?

Bram: I believe it is a vampire apocalypse

Q: What’s going on?

Mori: Q!

Q: Elise!

Tanizaki: HOW
HOW THE HELL DO YALL RECOGNIXE THEM BY THEM TYPING!?

Ranpo: patterns

Karl: fr

Tanizaki: What the fuck does the even mean?!

Dazai: stahp swrabding we hot childeisbd
Aroudf

Tanizaki: …WHAT THE FUCK

Chuuya: …No control*

Dazai: I wouldn't mind controlling you
😉

Mori: ew

Chuuya: Sit tight in your corner
No point in making plans
It's all deranged
No control*

Akutagawa: What's going on? My phone was blowing up

Yasano: The science is clear
I'm afraid it's true*

Kenji: The end's really here*

Kunikida: There's nothing we can do*

Fyodor: I wander what this “end” exactly is

Karl: *Wonder

Mori: lmao a raccoons smarter than you

Q: 🤣

Tanizaki: Is Karl actually a raccoon?

Ranpo: Obviously

Poe: Yes

Tanizaki: What the
HOW DOES HE KNOW ENGLISH

Ranpo: Easy
Learn

Tanizaki: But He's a raccoon

Ranpo: So? I can speak raccoon yet I'm human. Stop being speciest.

Mori: Yeah stop bullying the poor raccoon

Tanizaki: HOW DO YOU SPEAK RACCON!?!?

Akutagawa: Why does Mori care about a
Oh this is Elise isn't it?
Hey Elise

Mori: Hello!

Yasano: And if I read these numbers right*

Nikolai: Numbers? Why does she need numbers to know that it's the end of the world(💣+🌏=bye bye world)

Poe: She said scientist so most likely to pinpoint exactly when

Nikolai:👍

Yasano: Our time is up
Tomorrow night!*

Kunikida: Tomorrow night!*

Kenji: Tomorrow night!*

Mori: Why'sd they repeat eacgother?

Fyodor: Most likely to emphasize the importance of it

Chuuya: Time runs out tomorrow*

Dazai: Then come over

Tanizaki: Whore
Wait i just realized you spelled that correctly

Dazai: ??
Nom j dfidnt

Poe: …I'm starting to understand why God hasn't come back

Kenji: Time runs out tomorrow!*

Chuuya: Take in our final hours
It's all deranged
No control*

Dazai: Let's me control you
Like the dog you are
In bed
I mean if the world ends it doesn't matter🤷♂️

Ranpo: …Its always weird seeing you like this

Mori: Yeah it is
We should get ice-cream after this

Ranpo: Great idea!

Nikolai🪄✨️

Francis: The Chaos will reign
And we'll die when it does*

Akutagawa: What is he doing here

Dazai: Ain't that the American you and Atsushi fought?

Akutagawa: Yeah

Tanizaki: SEE!?

Mori: See what?

Tanizaki: Dazai spelled correctly!

Dazai: nh h didfnt

Q: No he didn't

Tanzanaki: …

Dazai:😊

Tanizaki:🖕

Dazai:😿

Mori: WIAT THERES CATS EMOJIES

Ranpo: Yeah under the faces

Mori:😺😸😹😻😼😽🙀😿😾
there's even monkey ones!🙊🙈🙉

Francis: Just ashes and smoke
Where me money once was*

Dazai: Ypu ain't no pirate

karl: *my

Sigma: There's gotta be a scheme
There's gotta be a plan*

Atsushi: I think we should run
While we still can*

Fyodor: So that's where you've been
With the tiger-boy
Atleast it isn't Dazai
I'd feel like I failed as a father if you willingly spent time around Dazai

Dazai: Oh yeah you had a kid with the Book

Poe: …
What

Nikolai: Yeah! I'm kind of like the step father I guess✨️✨️✨️✨️

Tanizaki: …. DO I even want to knoe?

Fyodor: Shut up Dazai
You and I are both aware that isn't how it occurred
I simply wrote his name on a page of the Book

Mori: LOL mpreg

Ranpo: Mori?

Mori: Yeah.
He's fucking weird at times

Ranpo: Yeah definitely

Nathaniel: I sensed a lot of unholyness
What happened

Nikolai: 🪄✨️

Ranpo: Dazai saying how much he wants Chuuya in bed and we said something about Mori

Nathaniel: Is this Mori person a demon of sorts?

Ranpo: Not physically, but he is a sack of shit

Nathaniel: Wait is he the creepy one?

Mori: Yeah
He is

Ranpo: You should do am exorcist on him

Nathaniel: Maybe so

Bram: So he said Chaos so it most likely isn't the vampire apocalypse because if it was he would have used bloody or something else instead

Nathaniel: …Wait Dracula?

Bram: Oh shit a priest

[Bram tried to leave group chat, but failed]

Bram: …

Nathaniel: Calm down. This is a group chat.

Bram: Doesn't mean I like priests
The whole crucifixion thing

Nathaniel: Understandable

Nikolai: World gonna go boom boom💣

Kunikida: No control!*

Dazai: How so?
Like being forced?
Or maybe some hypnotism?
An ability?

Bram: …
I didn't do this if anyone's curious
I haven't tried to do as such yet

Tanizaki: Yet
What do you mean by that

Nikolai: Oh yea!
🧛♂️🧛♂️🧛♂️🧛♂️🦇🦇🦇🦇

Tanizaki: 😐😑😐

Nathaniel: Hmmm
Rest assured if you try that I will have to use [idk some ritual or something]

Bram: …

Fyodor: …

Nikolai: Go to the party with my crazy pink wig! Bit I can't fit in the door my booty’s to big!

Karl: *R-r-r-roll up to the party with my crazy pink wig
But I can't get through the door because my booty's to big

Mori: Love that song

Poe: …Should I be worried?

Ranpo: Probably not

Fyodor: None of you can be serious can you?

Nikolai: https://pin.it/zfJiQipO3

Dazai: So emotional😢

Fyodor: …
This is why I don't let you have that cursed ‘Gazha’ website

Karl: *Gacha
And it's an app not a website

Dazai: Yeah you uncultured swine

Mori: YEah!

Nikolai: https://pin.it/i6kxY5cB2

Dazai: …

Mori: Honestly accurate

Fyodor: …

Nathaniel: I now know why God hasn't come back yet

Nikolai: https://pin.it/5YrjD6nkM

Poe: Even Ranpo is not safe T_T

Karl: 😭

Mori: Tf
Gin Doesn't deserve this

Ranpo: …

Nikolai: https://pin.it/RHWfHgVFR

Dazai: You really think I'd let that dog boss me around?

Tanizaki: yes and you're typing correctly again? Why do you switch?

Dazai: Ihj whagt hyuoi tagking agoyt

Nathaniel: ✝️

Mori: fr

Poe: Your writing makes me want to cry

Yasano: Stay away from the future*

Dazai: Easy enough

Ranpo:😮💨

Dazai: What?

Tanizaki: SEEEE?!?!

Q: See What?

Tanizaki: HES TYPING CORRECTLY

Mori: No he isn't

Q: No he isn't

Nikolai: I think you're just seeing things😀

Ranpo: Why does that emoji look insane/dead inside

Dazai: ekil em rf

Tanizaki: …I give up

Dazai: 👍

Karl: lol

Kunikida: There's no point In making plans*

Dazai: ...

Ranpo: Damn

Nikolai: True true very true

Fyodor: Is he the one with that note book?

Dazai: Yes you dumbass

Fyodor: 😭

Dazai: 👎

Fyodor:😿

Dazai:👎

Fyodor:😢

Dazai:
👍

Fyodor:😊

Dazai:😉

Fyodor:🥰

Karl: :/

Mori: I'm close to saying a few slurs ngl

Sigma: Me too

Atsushi: Wait were allowed to text now?

Sigma: idk

Atsushi: cool

Nikolai: you're the one where I stabbed your leg right?✨️✨️✨️

Atsushi: yeah :(

Bram: I apologize
He has issues
He likes to stab people and steal their legs

Atsushi: It's fine I've had it happen before

Bram: …
Wait what?

Atsushi: I can regenerate

Bram: What supernatural creature are you if I may ask?

Atsushi: I'm a were Tiger but that's just my ability

Bram: Hmmm
A were tiger

Dazai: Why do I feel like you're up to something?

Bram: :)

Nikolai: Oh! Are you going to kidnap another kid?

Bram: I'd rather call it…
Forceful adopting

Atsushi: Wait what

Ranpo: looks like Dracula wants to adopt you Atsushi

Atsushi: DRACULA!?
You're Dracula!?

Bram: Yes

Nathaniel: …
I should be stopping this but from what I've heard you've taken good care of the girl

Atsushi: 😶

Nikolai: So we're going to have three kids running around the DOA now?✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Sigma: Hey!

Dazai: Three year old ass

Tanizaki: …😭

Sigma: Stfu Dazai

Fyodor: I'm very pleased you show so much passive aggressiveness towards him

Sigma: You two were literally flirting not even two minutes ago!

Fyodor: ?

Dazai: ?

Fyodor: I assure you we were not right Dazai?

Dazai:👍

Fyodor:😘

Sigma: 🤨
(I'll make the rest soon)

Chapter Text

Ranpo: THE BEST THING JUST HAPPENED

Poe: What's happening?

Ranpo: Francis just SHOT Mori

Karl:👍

Poe: What?!
He shot Mori?
Why?

Dazai: YES

Ranpo: Fukuchi asked them what their type was
Fukuzawa said “Someone strong”
Fukuchi said “Fukuzawa”(gods help me😭)
Francis said “My wife”
Mori straight up said “Wemon(girls dumbass) under 12
Francis pulled out his gun while saying “I have the right to the Second Amendment! And shot him😂

Yasano: YES👏👏👏👏

Karl: 🥰

Dazai: 😊👏

Yasano: 😁

Poe: Understandable

Kunikida: Why are you at the meeting?

Ranpo: They wanted to bring their kids so we could meet eachother

Dazai: Who’s all there?
Any sexy ladies?

Chuuya: Dazai

Kunikida: Dazai

Yasano: LMAO

Ranpo: Me, Elise, Q, and Sigma

Dazai: Oh, Fukuchi babysitting Sigma?
How cute🥺

Kunikida: Who's kid is he then?

Dazai: Fyodor’s

Ranpo: Dazai's

Dazai: He's technically not mine

Kunikida: …What!?

Fyodor: Sigma texted me
I'll have to thank Francis for shooting him😊

Karl: Fr

Nikolai: KARL
KARL
PLEASE

Karl: ekbahajdna

Nikolai: :(

Fyodor: Why are you like this?

Nikolai: I'm special🙂

Fyodor: Specially stupid

Nikolai: :(

Mori: So no one's concerned I got shot?

Ranpo: Fukuzawa only care because of Elise

Dazai: I doubt Elise even cares

Elise: I dont😊