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When Willow got to the library that morning, Giles immediately grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her into his office. He closed the door, but instead of explaining what was going on, he just started pacing back and forth. “Uhh… Giles?” Willow said hesitantly. It really wasn’t like Giles to be this weird… Well, he was pretty high-strung, but he only got like this when Ms. Calendar- “Is Ms. Calendar okay?!”
Willow’s fear must’ve been plain on her face because Giles immediately stopped pacing. He shook his head and then cleaned his glasses before responding. “Jenny’s fine; I just-” Giles huffed, “I need you to hack into Jenny’s faculty file on the computer.”
“Why?” Willow's voice was filled with uncertainty, her typical eagerness to be useful tempered by the unease in Giles' behaviour. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously off.
“I- This was a dreadful idea.” Giles stammered, clearly trying to backtrack, but Willow wasn’t having it. He couldn’t just drag her into the office and then cut her out of the plan.
“What’s in her file that you can’t just ask her about?” Willow tried her best to copy Ms. Calendar’s famous, “ If you don’t answer me, I’m going to skin you alive,” look to what she assumed was a mild success.
“I- Willow, look, Jenny will be here soon, and I just-”
“Well, you should probably just tell me what you wanna know then.” Willow fired back.
“I need you to find out when her birthday is.” Giles spit out, looking like he wanted to swallow his tongue.
Willow paused, confused. “Why do you need me to look it-”
“She won’t tell-” Giles’ mouth snapped shut as the library door swung open with enough force that it slammed into the wall.
“Rupert. Edmund. Giles. Where the fuck are you?” Ms. Calendar’s voice called out, and Willow found herself wishing she was anywhere but here. An angry Ms. Calendar was the last person she wanted to be around, especially with the mission Giles had just assigned her. Not even ten seconds later, the office door swung open to reveal Ms. Calendar, closely followed by Buffy and Xander, the teacher covered in red Slush Puppie, if the cup in Xander’s hand was anything to go off of anyway.
“Jenny, darling, I- What on Earth happened?” Giles exclaimed, finally taking in the sight of his girlfriend’s ruined shirt.
“You tell me, asshole! Apparently, the two of them were ‘just trying to distract me’, so I’m assuming this has something to do with my goddamn birthday, and I just- I’m going to fucking kill you!” Willow clasped her hands over her mouth, trying- and failing- to stifle her giggles. It was definitely the wrong thing to do because Ms. Calendar immediately wheeled on her. “Willow Danielle Rosenberg, you better not be fucking laughing right now because I’m perfectly happy to add your name to the list of people who should stay incredibly far away from me for the next fucking while.”
Willow sobered up instantly. Giles, who Willow was pretty sure had been trying to sneak out of the office, was stopped in his tracks when Ms. Calendar grabbed his tie.
“Don’t you go thinking I’m done with you, Rupert.” She said pointedly, “You know when I told you to figure out my birthday on your own, I didn’t expect you to enlist the help of the goddamn kids.”
“Wait,” Buffy piped up, looking confused, “That’s what this is all about? Your birthday?”
“Jenny refused to tell me.” Giles huffed as though that explained everything.
“I spilled my drink so you could get Willow to look up your girlfriend’s birthday for you?” Xander glared at Giles, and Buffy burst into giggles.
“You spilt your drink 'cause you didn’t put it down before trying to show Ms. Calendar a skateboard trick,” Buffy said between giggles, and Xander turned his glare on her.
“And? I wouldn’t have been showing her if Giles hadn’t told us to keep her away from the library.” Xander fired back.
Just then, Buffy froze, the smile melting off her face. “Giles… what was your plan here?”
“He wanted me to hack into her school file,” Willow explained, and the jaws of everyone in the room hit the floor.
Jenny was the first to respond, “You’ve got to be kidding. You can’t be serious. Rupert, tell me she’s fucking joking before I throw something at you.”
“Giles…” Buffy started, drawing everyone’s attention. “Did it never occur to you to just, I don’t know, check Ms. Calendar’s ID?”
Giles’ entire face blushed bright red, from his nose to the tips of his ears. “I- erm…”
Ms. Calendar sighed deeply, looking dumbfoundedly at Giles momentarily before spinning on her heel and stalking out of the library. Willow squeezed past Giles to get out of the office, pausing on her way out when Buffy grabbed her wrist. “Hey, Giles,” Buffy started, waiting for Giles to look at her before continuing, “We’ve gotta get to class but… Ms. Calendar’s birthday is November twenty-ninth.” Giles only groaned in response.