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Zoro’s swords lay untouched at his side, but he readied himself for battle all the same. He widened his stance as his eyes narrowed and fixed on the figure that had just appeared in the doorway.
“Got any meat? I'm starving,” Luffy said, already staring straight through Zoro to the refrigerator behind him.
“Sorry, captain, but the cook said you're not allowed in the kitchen. You’ll have to wait until dinner.” Zoro didn't often take orders from Sanji— scratch that, Zoro didn't often take orders from anyone other than his captain, especially not Sanji, but this matter was different. They all knew that Luffy could scarf down food faster than he could inhale air, and they all knew that in times when food was limited, measures had to be taken to guard it. Even from their own captain.
A toothy grin spread across Luffy’s face. “Sanji’s not gonna mind if I have just a bite.”
“But you're not gonna have just a bite,” Zoro said. “You and I both know that that refrigerator is going to be empty in five seconds if I let you get close.”
In the blink of an eye, Luffy's arm shot out. Zoro reached for the rubber limb, intending to block it before it made it to the refrigerator, but the arm didn't even come near him or the refrigerator. Zoro looked up to where Luffy was already hanging from the ceiling. His skinny arms stretched and shrunk, bouncing him up and down like a yo-yo. He grinned down at Zoro, giggling. “Come on Zoro, I thought we were friends!”
“Well, sometimes friends need to know when to call the shots.” Zoro grabbed for the ankles that were dangling just above his head, but Luffy was quick, pulling himself out of reach.
Luffy swung back and forth. His rubber joints creaked almost as loud as the wooden beam he was hanging from. With each pass he gained more momentum. Zoro flattened himself against the refrigerator door. He'd failed his mission to keep Luffy from entering the kitchen, sure, but he could still act as the last line of defense. All that mattered now was guarding tonight's dinner.
“Give it up. I'm not letting you lay a single finger on that food,” Zoro said, knowing full well that his words meant nothing to his captain. They would go in one ear and right out the other. He'd be lucky if Luffy even heard them over the demanding growl of his stomach.
With one last great swing, Luffy launched himself into the air. He moved like a bullet, one hand on his straw hat, keeping it from flying off of his head, and the other reaching out greedily for the food he intended to steal. He'd launched himself with perfect precision and he was on track to land right on top of the refrigerator. He was quick, but Zoro was quicker. Zoro jumped and tackled his captain to the ground. Luffy squirmed on the floor and Zoro had to pin down his arms to keep them from shooting out and making a grab for the prize. It was like restraining two writhing rubber snakes. It took all of his might and focus to keep them from slipping from his grasp.
One of Luffy's legs bent at an awkward angle that would make any regular person scream in agony. He rammed his knee into Zoro’s stomach, but Zoro didn't budge. He didn't work his ass off everyday for rock hard abs just to be defeated by a knee to the gut.
After a few minutes Luffy stopped struggling. He jutted his bottom lip out in a pout. “Zoro, please!” He whined. “I'll share with you! Promise! You know, I bet Sanji is hiding some real good sake in there. Don't you wanna look?”
That was it, he'd officially gone into bargaining mode. A sure sign that he was nearing defeat. “The sake is downstairs in the cellar, moron. You're not fooling me,” Zoro huffed.
“How about you just let me just have a peak? I won't eat it, I just wanna have a look.”
“Liar.”
A twinkle appeared in Luffy's eyes. A familiar twinkle that was a telltale sign that something had just passed through that uncrackable mind of his. “Don't even think about it,” said Zoro.
“Think about what?”
“Whatever you were thinking just now.”
Despite his arms still being pinned to the floor, Luffy sat up with ease. The tip of his nose touched Zoro's, and he got so close that Zoro went cross eyed trying to look at him, but Zoro refused to back off.
“Who says I'm thinking about anything besides food?” Said Luffy.
There it was again, that twinkle in his eyes. That scheming, mischievous, no good twinkle. Before Zoro could comment on it again, before he could even open his mouth to speak, Luffy tilted his head to the side and kissed him. Right on the mouth, lips to lips, Luffy kissed him.
Zoro's breath caught in his lungs. His face was set ablaze. His mind quickly shut down as the rest of the world fell away. All he could think of was Luffy's lips moving firmly against his and all he could feel was the feeling of Luffy under him. He trailed his hand up Luffy's arm and pressed his palm against his chest. His heartbeat was steady and regular, in contrast to Zoro's, which he could only assume was either beating a million times per second, or had completely stopped.
By the time his mind started working again and he was truly able to comprehend what was happening, he was already past the point of no return. He had already let his hands wander to Luffy's hips and he had already begun kissing back.
In an instant it was all ripped away. Luffy was laying flat on the floor again, stuffing a slab of beef into his mouth, bone and all, and the cool air of the inside of the refrigerator nipped at Zoro's back.
He had failed.
“What was that?” Zoro shot to his feet. Luffy made a dash for the open refrigerator.
“A distraction,” Luffy said as he grabbed fistfuls of the crew's dinner and stuffed them into his mouth.
“A distraction?” Zoro choked. “The hell kind of distraction was that?”
“A good one. It worked, didn't it?” Luffy turned away from the refrigerator, grinning, with a quantity of food that could easily feed five grown men gathered in his arms. He shuffled over to the counter and plopped his winning down, knocking over one of Sanj’s knife sets in the process. He hopped up onto the counter, letting his feet dangle over the edge, and continued his feast. Apparently, satiated enough to slow his eating to a somewhat leisurely pace.
Zoro crossed his arms over his chest as if a barrier would keep Luffy from sensing his rapid heartbeat. “Well, that was a pretty dirty move. Haven't you ever heard of fighting fair?”
Luffy just sat there, completely engrossed in his meal, without a hint of blush on his cheeks. “You seemed to like it, so, seems fair enough to me.”
Zoro muttered a curse under his breath. How could Luffy say things like that so easily?
Because he had no shame, Zoro thought. Because he doesn't have a single shred of shame and he probably never will. Zoro took a deep breath through his nose and let his arms fall back to his sides. “I still think that was a dirty trick.” He approached the counter. Luffy had finished his stolen stash and was already reaching for the bowl of tangerines that sat in the middle of the counter.
It was true, there is no dirtier trick than using your opponents weakness against them, and Luffy had to know that.
He rested a hand on each of Luffy's knees, ignoring the flush that was creeping up his neck. “You know, twirly-brow is gonna be pissed at me for this.”
“Eh, he'll be fine. We can catch plenty of fish before dinner. He won't even notice.” A citrus scent filled the air as Luffy clawed away the peel of a tangerine.
“But you're gonna eat the fish too, aren't you?”
Luffy smiled as he popped a whole tangerine into his mouth.
Still gripping Luffy's knees, Zoro dipped his head down. Perched on the countertop, the top of Luffy's head was only a couple inches below his. It wouldn't be hard to lean in and kiss him again, but Zoro hesitated. Was Luffy being serious, or had that really been nothing more than a distraction technique? Surely Luffy had to know what he was doing, how he was messing with Zoro. There were times when their captain seemed denser than a rock. Most of the time, actually, but there were also times when he seemed to have insight that no other member of the crew had. If there was ever anything wrong, if any one of them was distressed or in turmoil, Luffy knew. He always knew, and he always did his best to do something about it. That was one of the many things Zoro admired about him. He had that remarkable ability to know people. Maybe not who they are or what they're about, but he always knew what they were truly feeling.
Luffy had to know. He had to know what he meant to Zoro, he had to know that Zoro would like the kiss. Otherwise, why else would he use such a dirty trick?
“What is it?” Luffy said, reaching for another tangerine. Zoro swallowed dryly before putting his hand over Luffy's, stopping him from grabbing another. Luffy frowned. “What?”
“I-” Zoro started, then stopped. Had he considered kissing Luffy before? No. Had he wanted to? No, not really. Well, maybe. He didn't really know anymore. All he knew was that the floodgates were open now and all he could think about was trying that again. So, before he could overthink it, he blurted out, “Do you- uh, do you wanna do that again?” Hoping that he sounded natural, but knowing that Luffy wouldn't judge him even if he didn't.
“You want to fall for my trick again? Wow, you are dumb,” Luffy snickered.
Zoro scowled. “I'm not falling for anything. It's not a trick if I'm asking you to do it, moron. Besides, the food's all gone, so there's nothing left for me to guard.”
“Heh, yeah, I think that was the fastest I've ever beaten someone in a fight.”
“Shut up!”
Luffy cackled. “Fine, fine, I guess we could do it again.” He leaned forward and placed a quick peck on Zoro's lips.
The flush that had steadily been creeping up Zoro's neck for the last few minutes quickly engulfed his face. “No, I mean what you did before.”
“What did I do before?” Luffy said, tilting his head to the side.
Make my heart nearly stop, Zoro thought. God, he's dense. “What I mean is not a kiss that you'd give to your grandma,” Zoro said. Luffy only stared at him dumbly. Zoro bit his lip. “Fine, just pretend that you're trying to steal food from me again.”
Luffy nodded and took the hand that was resting atop his, using it to pull Zoro in close. Then he kissed him. That same firm, confident kiss as before. This time, Zoro melted into it, capturing his lips and tasting the fresh tangerine on his tongue. And when Luffy's rubber legs came up to wrap circles around his waist, a pleasant buzzing erupted in his stomach, quickly spreading throughout his body even to the tips of his fingers.
Zoro gasped against Luffy's lips, suddenly breathless. Still, he refused to pull away. Luffy seemed to have no inclination to stop either. Zoro desperately wanted to tangle his fingers in Luffy’s shaggy black hair, but he knew that the moment he knocked that straw hat off of his head the kiss would be over. Or at the very least put on pause until Luffy put his hat back in place. So Zoro settled instead for cupping the sides of his face.
“Hey, Moss-head, did you-”
Zoro jerked away. His eyes flew to the source of the voice. Sanji stood in the doorway, his mouth open, mid-sentence, staring wide eyed at the scene that lay before him. “I- Luffy- wha-?” Sanji sputtered, trying to find his voice again.
“Hi, Sanji,” Luffy grinned with that signature shamelessness of his, accompanied by a small, cheeky wave. He untangled his limbs from Zoro and leapt from the countertop. He stopped briefly in the doorway to say, “Me and Zoro are gonna go fishing. You've gotta make sashimi for dinner tonight, okay?” Before leaving the dumbfounded cook and sprinting off to find his next meal.
Zoro righted himself and focused on not blushing. There's no way he was going to let that arrogant cook catch him blushing. He'd never hear the end of it.
By the time Zoro made it to the doorway Sanji had somewhat regained his ability to speak. Though, his eyes were still fixed on the spot the pair had been moments ago. “Did- Were you and Luffy just…?”
“Don't think too hard about it,” Zoro said, shoulder checking him on the way out. He smiled to himself. Looks like Luffy's distraction technique worked wonders after all. Sanji hadn't even noticed that all of the food was gone.