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It hadn’t been the worst shift of Tommy’s career, but it was in the top twenty. Coming off a long 48, he scrubbed his hands over his face as he trudged toward his truck. The calls hadn’t been particularly hard , they hadn’t lost anyone, but he also hadn’t been able to get much sleep. He was too restless, too… something he couldn’t put his finger on. What sleep he’d had had been punctuated by half remembered horrors from his time in the Army and the loneliness of sleeping alone. Sure, with their schedules, he and Buck hadn’t had many sleepovers, but it was so easy to adapt to having his boyfriend in his arms. A long, warm line against him as they both slept. Maybe it was the fact that Evan was smack in the middle of a 24 of his own and wouldn’t be waiting at home – either of their homes – for him that was the cause. Whatever it was, he was just going to have to deal with it.
The drive away from Harbor had been entirely on autopilot. Tommy had meant to go home, honestly he had. And yet, the next thing he knew he was parking at station 118. Hopefully Bobby wouldn’t mind, the man was kind and would probably at least let him say hello to Evan before he dragged himself off home and passed out in bed. He turned his truck off and got out, sighing heavily as he shuffled toward the open bay door of the firehouse.
“Hey, Tommy…” while the first half of Hen’s greeting had been enthusiastic, she’d trailed off quickly into a softer tone. Tommy wondered if it was the same kind of tone she used on her kids. He tried to give her a smile, but the look in her eyes said it wasn’t very convincing. “He’s upstairs helping Bobby with lunch. You gonna make it up there?”
“Mmhmm.” Nodding absently, Tommy headed for the stairs up to the loft. His feet felt like cement bricks, but every step brought him closer to the sound of Evan’s voice and laugh. Which was good, that was what he was there for. Just a quick little check in, then he’d head home and crash. And maybe, when he woke back up, all would be right with the world again.
Whatever was being made smelled absolutely amazing, and there he was, smiling like the sun. Tommy knew Evan hadn’t noticed him yet as he crested the stairs and ducked under the beam, but that was fine. He could see, far too easily, why people sometimes thought Evan was Bobby’s natural son and not a chosen one. They had the same laugh, the same joy in their eyes. It made something break loose in Tommy’s chest as he nodded a greeting at his former captain. And then Evan turned, those beautiful blue eyes spotted him, and he watched as his boyfriend’s brow knit in worry. Any other day, Tommy would have smiled, would have done or said something to reassure the younger man that he was just fine. But he wasn’t. Instead, he watched Evan toss the dish towel that had been over his shoulder onto the counter before coming around to pull him into a hug. There was something wonderful about having a partner the same height, Tommy thought. It made it so easy to rest his head on Evan’s shoulder as strong arms wrapped around him and held him with deceptive gentleness.
“Need to talk about it?” Tommy felt the brush of Evan’s lips against his cheek, the rumble of his voice in that barrel chest that was pressed against his own. Evan smelled like spices from the food he’d been cooking, and a little like the cologne he always seemed to wear. Mentally, Tommy made a note to ask what the brand was to be able to spritz a little on his pillow at night, just to sleep a little better if they weren’t together.
“Just, can I just stay here? For a little bit?” Hell, his voice sounded rough to his own ears, but Tommy couldn’t really care. Not when one of Evan’s hands came up to cradle the back of his head and hold him that much closer. He couldn’t honestly remember the last time he’d been held so sweetly or felt so safe in anyone’s arms, it had to have been back when he was a kid. Tommy let himself drift, just sinking into Evan and the love he felt in his boyfriend’s arms.
“Lunch is served, come eat.” The sound of Bobby’s voice, booming in the acoustics of the firehouse, made Tommy jolt. He blinked, not even having realized his eyes had been closed, squinting a little at how bright the world was around him. “Tommy, set a place for you, too. I hope you like spaghetti.”
Well, that was…gonna throw his plans to head home right off their tracks. Tommy pulled away from Evan and turned around, watching as the A shift all started filing in. “Um, yeah. Thank you.” And oh he was remembering he was hungry now, smelling the pasta sauce and the garlic bread. Behind him, Evan chuckled before a warm hand settled low on his back.
Eddie grinned from his spot at the table, already pulling out a chair for Tommy. “You can sit between me and Buck. Make it harder for him to steal my garlic bread.”
“Excuse you! I am not the one who steals garlic bread.” The laughter in Evan’s voice was enough to make Tommy smile, really smile for the first time since probably yesterday.
“Well, I know it’s not Chris. He’s not here.” Maybe he was imagining it, but Tommy swore he could see a look of understanding in Eddie’s eyes. And yeah, that was part of their friendship, knowing just how much the Army had screwed them both up but still trying to find the joy in life. It was also part of why he was so damn supportive of Eddie and Evan’s relationship, even if he knew outsiders would judge things differently. But the fact that Chris wasn’t there to steal Eddie’s garlic bread was a good point…so Tommy plucked it off Eddie’s plate and stuffed half of it into his mouth as he sat down. It was so worth it for the way Evan laughed from his other side.
Lunch was a lively affair, not that Tommy would really remember much of it later. He just knew that it felt more like family than anything had in way too long. Damn, he missed that feeling. The belonging that had started once Bobby had become the captain and had clearly grown in the years since his transfer to Harbor. He was a lucky man to be welcomed back in. Though he found himself at odds with what to do after the meal, especially with the way Evan had dashed off. He wanted to give his boyfriend another hug before leaving, after all.
“Okay!” And there, like magic, Evan was popping back up at the top of the stairs. And he was…holding a book and his phone? It didn’t make much sense to Tommy, but that was fine, it didn’t have to. He was all prepared to go give Evan another hug before driving home, now feeling like he might actually be able to sleep. But then Chimney grabbed his arm, and started to…steer him toward the couch? What the hell?
Evan bounded past him, flopping down on the piece of furniture with his arms wide open and a smile on his face. “I have my book, and a fully charged phone, and I am ready for you.”
“What…huh?” Damn, he must have been more tired than he thought. Or Evan’s smile was just more hypnotizing than normal. But Tommy could feel Chimney steering him closer, and he just didn’t have it in him to fight it.
“Face it, Tommy, you are in no shape to be driving right now. We know it’s not as dark as the bunk room, but the couch should be more comfortable for you giants. So go. Nap on top of the resident golden retriever and by the time our shift ends, maybe you’ll be awake enough to trust behind the wheel.”
Tommy just blinked at Chimney. And then at Bobby. “And you’re…okay with this?” No way would this shit fly at Harbor.
“You were pretty zoned out at lunch, I offered to have him leave early and drive you home. Instead, he volunteered to be man behind if there are any calls. And Buck doesn’t ever volunteer for that.” Bobby just chuckled a little and shrugged. “I can go grab a blanket if you need one. But take a nap, Tommy. You clearly need it.”
Heat suffused Tommy’s face as he ducked his head, then finished shuffling over to the couch. “No, don’t need a blanket. I usually run pretty warm.” He carefully sat down by Evan’s legs, careful of his bad leg, before tipping sideways. The couch was even almost long enough for them both, though Tommy didn’t want to lay with his head next to Evan’s. No, he moved so that his head would be right over his boyfriend’s heart. So the steady thu-thump could lull him to sleep. He wondered how many times Eddie and Maddie had wanted to do the same after the lightning strike. He just let out a sigh and relaxed, almost melting over Evan.
“What about you, Buck? Need a blanket?” Maybe he was imagining it, but Tommy was sure that Bobby was being all fond and paternal. Which was good. Even sure as hell deserved a good father. And he’d heard nothing positive about the Buckleys from anyone . Not even their own daughter.
“Nope, I’m good. Got my personal weighted blanket right here. And yes, I know I will have extra chores next shift to keep it fair.” Tommy frowned softly at that, but his eyes were so heavy. And Evan was so comfortable to lay on with the constant rhythm of his heart under Tommy’s ear. Even if he’d wanted to stay awake, the feeling of long fingers petting his hair made it impossible. He was out in moments.
“Tommy. Tommy, baby, you gotta wake up.” Someone was shaking him, and he could hear Evan’s voice from underneath him. “Come on, my shift is over, we can go sleep in a real bed now.”
Groaning softly, Tommy lifted his head and looked around. Oh, right. He was at the 118. He sat up carefully, not wanting to put strange pressure on Evan’s right leg. “Time is it?”
“Almost six. And I have to pee like a racehorse.” Evan was up and scrambling over the back of the couch as soon as he could, ostensibly making a mad dash for the locker room.
Tommy rubbed his eyes and stood to stretch, yawning as he did so. He looked for Bobby, offering the captain a sheepish look. “Thanks for today. I’m sorry for being a bother.”
“No bother at all. It was a pretty q-word shift, though I was surprised you slept through two alarms. Did you not sleep on your shift?” Bobby offered Tommy a cup of tea, which he took voluntarily. He could certainly have used a shot at the restroom as well, but he wasn’t desperate.
“Yeah, not really? I mean, I tried. But every time I just. You know when you’re having nightmares but they’re not the really bad ones? Like you don’t wake up gasping or screaming, just unsettled? That’s all I was having.” The tea tasted herbal, maybe chamomile? It would make sense. “Thank you for lunch, by the way. It was delicious.”
Bobby grinned at him for that, just on the edge of preening if he had to guess. But Tommy didn’t mind at all. “Well, what can I say, it is pasta Thursday. And Buck is trying to perfect my spaghetti sauce recipe. It wouldn’t be any fun if I just gave him the secrets to it right away, after all.”
That had Tommy laughing as he leaned against the counter, shaking his head fondly. “He swears he knows the secret to that chili you used to make. But he won’t tell me what it is. The last time he made it, it was done by the time I got to his place.”
“Well, it took me three years to get the recipe. I can’t let you know all the secrets that easily.” In a heartbeat, Evan was back at his side. Only now he was dressed in civilian clothes…mostly.
“Is that my hoodie?” Tommy tugged on Evan’s shoulder to see his back before giving him a light smack on the arm. “I was looking for that before my shift two days ago.”
The grin on Evan’s face was breathtakingly beautiful, showing off his pearly white teeth and making the corners of his eyes crinkle. It made Tommy’s heart skip a few beats. “Well, you shouldn’t have left it at my place, then.”
They were both in their civvies now, so Tommy did nothing to resist his urge to lean in and kiss Evan sweetly. He did at least keep it chaste for Bobby’s sake. “Mm, I see that. At least now it’ll smell like you when I get it back.” The blush that raced across Evan’s cheeks was adorable, truly. Tommy could have sworn he felt something shift, like seeing Evan smiling like that and wearing a hoodie with his name on it made everything right in the world again. “Lemme hit the head and then I’ll buy you dinner. You’re off until Saturday, right? We can go out, or get take out and watch some documentaries together.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll meet you outside while I think about what I want for dinner?” The way Evan’s eyes lit up at the mention of dinner and one of his picks for their evening viewing selection had Tommy grinning just as much.
Tommy knocked back the rest of his tea and set the mug on the counter. “Thanks again, Bobby. We’ll get out of your hair so you can get home soon, too.” With a brief wave, he grabbed Evan by the hand and tugged him toward the stairs. They had an evening to get to, after all.