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“Aaaannndddd…. DONE!
That should be the last of it.”
Lupe scrambled out from under the memory pod, a smear of grime across her cheek.
For the last few nights she has been working on this memory pod to better assist the chief with settlements run by the ASAMS.
“You sure it’s safe to use? It ain’t gonna shock ‘em or nothin?” Jake was knelt by the back of the machine doing an eye exam of Lupe’s wiring, tightening the occasional screw.
Lupe stretched her back, cracking the strain out it,
“Of course. I mean…I’m sure it’s gonna need some tuning…but it should really do as we planned and help the chief not…electrocute them.”
“Well I don’t want to take any chances. Let’s do another diagnostics check, then I’ll be the first to see how it goes. Once everything is green, I have a great idea for the VR design.”
What a day…
You and Raphael finally made it back to HQ. Clearing out Fallon’s was…tough, but you both found some great scrap.
As you both made your way through security you couldn’t help but chuckle at Raph’s face,
“You ok there buddy? Your face is gonna get stuck like that.”
He turned his scowled face towards you and grumbles,
“You could have warned me we were taking on a super mutant hive. Gonna smell like those green freaks for a week.”
You smile at your grumpy friend,
“My dear how did you not notice the blood bags that decorated the outside?”
“Too busy covering your ass.” His scowl softened as he shook his head, then he mumbled something under his breath along the lines of
“…was right.”
“Hmmm what was that?” You take a friendly jab at his ribs. You and Raph had a great back and forth but something was off tonight. The whole walk back to HQ was quiet, not tense but…weird.
Just then Aiden walked in to the checkpoint, paper work and a mug of coffee in hand.
“You two reek.”
Raphael humphed, “Let me ask you somethin Aiden. They always this reckless?”
You turn to him, a funny look of shock on your face.
“Excuse me?! Reckless?”
Aiden lifted one eyebrow and sipped his coffee,
“Let me guess…they ran in guns blazing, pipboy radio on full blast without so much as a look in your general direction to see if you were following?”
“‘Bout the gist of it.”
Aiden looked between the two of you and sighed, “Yeah you get used to it.”
You take a breath in to argue back when your favorite cowboy walks in,
“Darlin! Good to see you…. Is that slime you got on ya?”
Jake was pointing at post combat viscera that has made its home on your jacket,
“Mmhmm. Super mutant. Wanna hug partner?” Your smile was genuine but Jake was backing away at the thought of mutant grease getting smeared on him,
“Ho that’s ok. Maybe go on and shower then come see me in the comm room. Gotta surprise for ya.”
Clean, refreshed and ready to see this surprise, you made your way to the comm room.
Lupe and Jake were so engrossed in their latest projects, neither heard you enter.
“Eh hem. Don’t work too hard now.” You smile finally being in the presence of Jake; the Amber eyed southern man who came outta no where.
Lupe stood quickly at your entrance and yelled,
“Tada! Whatcha think?”
“The memory pod? I gotta admit I’m curious at this endeavor of yours.”
Jake was by your side now, his hand on your lower back guiding you to it,
“This is a game changer. Gonna make it so much easier to control the ASAMS.”
“How so?”
“Ever place an ASAM and forget to set it to the desired plot? You know built a library instead of a training ground. Or a weapon store instead of food and drink…well now no more trudging all the way back to some boondocks settlement. The ASAMS can be remotely changed. All from the comfort of HQ. You’ll still have to place them manually, but can change their output from here if you need to.”
Lupe had her hands in her overall pockets, a huge smile on her face.
“Yeah and all you have to do is lay in the pod and let the lounger do its program in VR for you. Wait till you see the house Jake decorated.”
Jake had a dusting of pink on his face, eyes down but smiling,
“Huh…well it wasn’t hard to make but I can’t wait for you to see it.”
The sun itself could not out shine their happiness and sense of accomplishment. But you were not as excited.
The last time you sat in this, you relieved some of the greatest trauma you have ever known. Saw your spouse murdered, your infant stolen. You can still hear the bull barrel go off, Shaun’s screams carry on in echoes down vault halls.
A shiver runs through you and your skin pricks up. You’re cold and if you breathed out hard enough, you’re sure you could see your breath.
Small spaces were…not the same. And you were uneasy at the thought of being in any pod like space.
“Darlin?”
“Darlin?” Jake has his hands on your shoulders, looking deep in your eyes,
You shook slightly and stared back at him and smiled a weak smile. You had spaced out.
“Hey there partner. You doin alright?”
“Yeah,” you squeak,
“I’m fine just thinking was all.”
Jake didn’t look convinced and rubbed his hands down your arms, slowly returning your warmth.
“Um you feel ok to try it out? It needs to tune itself to your brain waves and all that. Won’t take but a moment?”
You nod your head, explaining that you have just been busy lately and not eating enough or sleeping enough, running through your list of excuses that you use once a week or so to explain gaps in performance. Then you put your brave face on and follow Jake and Lupe’s instructions.
But you can’t really hear them. All you hear is the sound of sitting in leather and you remember that’s how it sounded first getting settled in your cryo pod. Your eyes are starting to sting as sharp tears force their way through. Then the door closes, you hear it close but it’s loud. It hisses and makes this vacuum sound as it locks all the other air from getting in.
Overheard you hear Jake’s muffled voice. You’re cold and hot at the same time. Jake’s out there and you’re about to get stuck in this pod. What if you can’t get out? What if another 200 years go by you? Jake would be gone, your son would be gone and you’d never find him.
No you can’t lose like this. Not again.
It’s very hard to breath now but before you can pound on the glass pleading for help to get out, a vision appears and you start to hear Jake’s voice.
He can’t hear you but you can hear him. Your vision goes black and fades to blue. Soon shapes appear and turn into furniture. Furniture you recognize.
Your blue kitchen set, your mixer, your red couch.
This was your house. Your prewar house. Some things were different though and you noticed your anxiety slipping away.
Then Jake’s voice lifted through the fog in your mind,
“Ok Darlin’ go ahead to the grid on the wall by the television set, I’ll guide you from there.”
You listened, you did as he said and changed a store type in sanctuary. Jake gave his praise and said to have a look around before coming out. All you had to do was open the front door to exit the VR.
You felt like you were moving through deep water. It was hard to get the hang of things. It didn’t help that you were so triggered from all the memories. This was your house.
Before the bombs.
When you had a family. A baby. A mate. Happy times for the most part. You looked at the sink and remembered giving Shaun his first bath in there. He was so little but loved the warm, lavender scented water. As you turned, you saw your spouse sipping on a cold drink and they gave you a wink reminding you of this one time when you were intimate on these counters.
You smile at them and they smile back before turning into a teddy bear wearing combat armor, looking over sheets of blueprints.
As you look around more you notice Laura’s picture. A sweet little girl smiling for her daddy on his workshop table. Her overalls had all kinds of tools and rolls of duct tape in the pockets. She has pigtails. Your finger tips gently touch the photo of Jake’s daughter. You have not met her yet, but you already consider her family. The warm sound of the washing machine takes your focus and it’s Jake’s scarf on the hood. It’s just out of reach, but you imagine it’s soft and smells like him; evergreen soap and engine musk.
You’re starting to calm down. This was yours and Jake’s house. A place for Shaun and Laura too.
It took a minute, but this was what you wanted. Family. Home. Your kid back in your life and Jake as your lover. It was starting to feel good and in the back of your mind, you hoped this is what he wanted too.
Crying again. You seemed to cry a lot when you thought about your future. But with all these friends and allies and settlements, your future was looking brighter with each ASAM placement.
You felt silly and went to the bathroom to freshen up, but as you looked in the mirror you were haunted to see the face of Kellogg. He smirked at you and said something you couldn’t hear. You backed up suddenly, hair standing on its ends. Your spouse’s killer was standing there matching your head movements, talking without making noise. In fact there was no noise. Just the blood in your ears.
Blood in your ears followed by far away sirens.
Utter panic was setting in. You’re sweaty and chilly and ready to bolt. You run to the front door, getting it open, only to be met with,
“Good morning! Vault Tec calling.”
The yellow trench coat and trilby hat unmistakable. Except he was not right. His face was burned off, unbelievable scarring, skin hanging off in strips but he was smiling just like that October morning…
“Darlin?! Shit! Lupe get Cassandra in here pronto!”
You struggled as Jake pulled you out. Your arms flailing in fight mode. You hear him but can’t quite see him.
He’s here but he’s not, you’re so scared you’re gonna lose him, you’re saying something but it makes no sense. Like trying to speak in a dream.
There’s a pain in your shoulder…then nothing.
*many hours of chem induced slumber later*
It feels like fur. You breathe in and smell the unmistakable scent of your best friend. Dogmeat has a nice dog smell. Fur, campfire, corn chips…
You squeeze his paw and he shifts to snuggle closer, giving your nose a single lick.
“H-hey…there you are.”
You open your eyes and see blue and red, followed by a well kept beard.
“Darlin you had me so worried.”
Jake started to sparkle into your sight. He wore a face of relief as your eyes met. He looked tired, but he was still so beautiful.
“Hey handsome.” Your mouth was dry, your eyes crusty in the corners.
“You’ve been asleep for hours. Cass gave you a fat dose of calmex and you went out fast. I carried you here and stayed for a while but then I went back to see if maybe we wired something wrong…”
His voice was drifting off as he spoke, you were just so happy to be here with him. Be back in HQ. You couldn’t help it, you stretched out and hugged that wonderful man; to feel him against you, make sure he was real.
He returned the gesture, he hugged you back gently then a little firmer,
“Darlin,” he spoke quietly, “What happened? You wanna talk about it?”
As you let go of him, the warmth only he can give, slips away and you just want him back. So you invite him on your bed and he sits next to you, his strong arm around your body. You both watch Dogmeat readjust himself at the foot of the bed and you both smile as he plops down on both of yours feet.
You sit like this for a little before speaking,
“It wasn’t your wiring dear that’s for sure. Call it PTSD, a panic attack, anxiety…I thought I was fine until I got closer to the memory pod. I was in one once while I searching for the Institute, and i relived my experience through the eyes of my mate’s killer…”
You explained the whole thing. Everything you experienced. Your prewar memories of that fateful October day, your spouse’s murder, when your baby was kidnapped…
How being in the tight space of the memory lounger gave you muscle memory of the cryo pod that froze you.
The whole thing.
Now Jake knew some of it, but not to this extent. And he never said a word. He let you speak giving the occasional squeeze with his arm around you as you spoke.
This vault dweller, prewar relic, gorgeous human being, was burrowing a hole into his heart and he was gonna be there for you every step of the way.
You stopped speaking, your nightmare over. Jake nodded his head and turned to you when he was sure you were done,
“I’am so sorry darlin’. I mean I knew some of what you went through, but…well…this has shined more light on your story…”
He pulled you closer, and before he could speak, you did.
“Ya know, all I could think about was losing you. Not having you around anymore. When that lounger closed I was afraid another 200 years was gonna go by, I’d be lost to time again.”
“Darlin I need you to listen to me,”
Jake turned so he was facing you, your faces close but not too intimately,
“I will do what I can to keep you safe. I promise to be there for ya. I’d never want to put you in a dangerous situation.” He was rubbing your arms, pressed his forehead to yours, “Darlin…I can’t do this without you.”
His voice was getting heavy with emotion. Even though Jake plants himself in the comm room while you’re wadding through the wastes, he has been there for you when you get back. He always listens to you, laughs with you, eats with you. Your friendship was blooming into something rare, something real.
“Hey…I liked the little touches in the VR house…did you do that?”
A smile crept into his pretty eyes and he chuckled,
“Noticed that did ya? Yeah I spent some time programming familiar things for the both of us. I thought it could…well…foreshadow our life to come.”
“You think of us? As a couple?” You could feel your heart skip a beat. Up till now your ‘relationship’ was not romantically intimate. You knew you both cared for each other and expressed that in quality time, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want more.
Your flirty comebacks could turn into lusty pillow talks, the brush of your hands in passing turning into passionate touches behind closed doors…hell you’d settle for breakfast in bed; but he wants to make a home with you…
“Absolutely I think of us. I think of finding Laura, finding Shaun, winning this blood bath of a war. Darlin sometimes I’m downright selfish with my thoughts about you. Having you all to myself, in our own little house…I think about it a lot actually. Us.
The kids.
A home.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
As if on que, Dogmeat lifted his head and licked his chops, eyeing you both down and earning a laugh from you both.
Jake patted the mattress calling the shepherd over, “Of course you can live with us. Ain’t nothing better than a family dog.”
He nestled between the two of you and huffed as he laid down.
As the three of you rested, nestled together, you feel lighter than you have in weeks. Jake had that effect on you.
Jake Evans.
A man you met 210 years into your future, through a series of insane events…well let’s just say you’re grateful. Grateful, happy and all that good stuff. Nothing could have brought you greater comfort than knowing you have a bright future ahead with him as your man.