Chapter Text
Chapter 1: I Need Some Space. Not that kind of space, but the other kind.
The chunk of rock ascended high into the sky, carried by the force of the volcanic eruption below. Kars panted for breath, body crushing under the g forces.
“S-such power!” the Pillar Man gasped, before slowly inching into a crawl, “But do you truly think that will be enough to stop me!?”
Joseph Joestar, also on the rock and faring considerably worse, growled and shouted at Kars, “Just give up! What are you even fighting for anymore!? You’re already the ultimate being! What’s left for you to do!?”
Kars paused, mulling over the question. “I… JoJo…” He stopped and thought about all his choices, his actions, everything he had ever done.
With a mirthless chuckle, he sank back down to the rock and sighed in defeat, “You’re right, JoJo…. I truly have nothing left to fight for.” Still, he inched across the rock, until he was lying just to the side of the center of it. Kars raised his arm, his shimmering blade ripping from his arm.
Joseph gasped, “What are you doing now, you egotistical bird man!?”
“JoJo… I’ve already done enough… So, as my only gift to you as the ultimate being on the planet, I shall save your life… at the cost of my own.”
“Dammit Kars! You’re the ultimate being! You embody all life on earth! Surely you could change your size or something to get the both of us down!”
“....JoJo… Such a plan is insane, but…” Kars retracted his blade, tapping his chin. At this point the air had become thin and cold, hard to breathe even for Kars.
“You have all of earth’s animal history in you, Kars, surely there’s something in there that’ll help us get down!” Joseph began gasping for breath, his hamon dispelling under the sheer cold of the upper atmosphere.
With no time to waste, Kars made his decision, stretching his mind inward and flickering through billions of years of genetic development, growing and changing as he did so.
The rock slowed, just before it would have broken through the upper atmosphere and into space, and began falling, Kars’ now gargantuan size weighing it down and shocking Joseph from just how deadly Kars would have been if he’d had even an hour to learn his new abilities.
And then the platform of rock began accelerating downwards and both Joseph and Kars realized that maybe turning into a massive object really, really high up in Earth’s atmosphere may have been a bad idea.
“JoJo…”
The massive, rumbling voice shook Joseph awake, the massive englishman groggily sitting up and rubbing his head with his right arm, barely remembering that his left arm had been sliced off. Strangely enough, there didn’t seem to be any more blood loss, a strange burn covering the surface of the arm.
JoJo stared for but a moment before finally looking around for Kars, confused at the giant mountain blocking his view of the sky…
Wait.
“Kars? Is that you?” Joseph looked up… and up… and up… finally catching sight of a gargantuan red iris… framed by lavender eyeliner.
“Yup, it’s you.”
“I find it interesting how you could tell, JoJo.” Kars’ voice rumbled for miles, the sheer volume nearly knocking Joseph from his feet.
“Only you would be a giant leviathan and still wear lavender eyeliner, Kars.” Joseph stated, smirking good naturedly. Kars sighed and began shrinking, the water rippling from the sheer amount displaced by Kars’ previously gargantuan form.
After but a few seconds, Kars was left paddling back to the floating chunk of rock, finally climbing back aboard, only to stop and slip back into the water when he saw it began to sink.
Joseph stared at the platform, noticing just how much smaller it had gotten during the descent. “Kars, I have to say… you’re actually kind of alright. I mean, you could have just not listened to me and killed us both, but instead, well… here we are.”
Kars snorted in contempt, using his new powers of hamon to stand upon the water, “Hmph, I seem to have misjudged you, Joj- no, Joseph Joestar. Though I had you pegged as an arrogant trickster, it seems that you do have a spark of honor in you after all.”
Joseph smirked, but his face fell immediately after, “There’s a problem, though…”
“I cannot return with you, as the entirety of your friends and all their combined forces shall come upon me in a futile attempt to kill me. I understand.”
Joseph nodded, but tapped his fingers against his temple and pointed his other hand at Kars, “Kars! Your next line is: ‘JoJo! We’ll meet again in the future! And as a promise from the ultimate being, whenever you require aid, contact me!’!”
Kars shook his head and took to the air once more, hovering in place amidst a spray of rainbow droplets, “JoJo! We’ll meet again in the future! And as a promise from the ultimate being, whenever you require aid, contact me!”
And the purple haired birdman flew off into the distance, just as Joseph realized one vital problem.
“Oh SHIIIIIT! Why didn’t I ASK HIM TO TAKE ME TO LAND IT’S GOING TO TAKE FOREVER TO SWIM BAAACK! OH MY GOOOD!” Joseph cried, just before a fishing boat sputtered into view, prompting Joseph to practically scream himself hoarse just as the little rock platform disintegrated under his weight.