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It was fun and it felt like a game but at the same time, it felt like a game . There were quite a few moments when Matthew just felt like he was controlling a character in some idol simulator or survival adventure game; seeing himself in third person and not seeing the long-term picture in full. Be it because of the cultural differences, unfamiliarity of the language and having to live-translate in his head all the time or just because of their packed schedule - he sometimes found himself detached from everything around him.
Although this short-term derealisation had its benefits too, at the very least allowing him to separate the hardships of his job from the highlights of it. He could let himself go, finally getting to do what he loved and have fun with the people who'd give him all the warmth and reassurance he needed.
The street wasn’t busy. After all, it was just a Monday evening, the few people that walked outside weren’t minding anyone else’s business other than their own. And Matthew didn’t care about them either. The reason he was even there was simply getting a chocolate milk that Gunwook had been whining about wanting all day. It has also given him an excuse to step out for a bit and just breathe. Not only to catch up with his thoughts but also to escape the confines of their dorms for a change - after all, it wasn’t easy living with so many men in one place.
As he walked out of the brightly lit store, bells sounded, bidding him farewell and pleasantly tickling something in the back of his mind. The weather outside was good; the warmth and humidity gave the illusion of summer already, only the lack of chirping cicadas making the distinction clear. Though it still wasn’t hot enough for him to lose his hoodie, the sporadic gusts of wind making him shiver being the prime example. He opened his can of beer and closed his eyes at the sound, the little droplets that sprayed on his hand in the process burning ice-cold spots into his skin. Taking a sip and relishing in the refreshing beverage, he started to walk back towards the dorms, making sure to kick every little stone and cigarette butt on the way, all to make the trip at least slightly longer.
He eyed each brick on the pavement as he allowed his brain to go blank, feet guiding him through the alleys with ease, the body already used to the route. His surroundings were satisfyingly quiet, the only sounds being the splashing of the liquids in his hands and the soft thumps caused by his footsteps, apart from the distant bustle of the main street a few blocks away from where he was. But even the slight hum of the car engines chimed well in his ears, filling his head with sweet nothing. He smiled to himself before looking back up at the sound of someone walking the opposite way, his smile only widening when he recognised the face.
“What are you doing out here?” Matthew said, a small chuckle attached to his words, as the other swiftly manoeuvred to his side, an arm automatically swinging around his shoulders, bringing him closer in a side hug as he turned them around towards the direction Matthew was just walking from.
“You were taking too long. And I also decided I wanted something to eat.” The response made him scoff, the smile still not disappearing from his face, slightly hidden under the dim light of the pink evening sky. He was about to make a comment about how eating so late wasn’t good for them but after glancing at the beer in his hand, he decided not to. Matthew nudged the can in his direction, the other promptly shaking his head and taking the bottle of chocolate milk from his second hand with a brief ‘I’ll take this one instead’.
“So, where are you taking me now, Gunwook?” Matthew sipped his beer as the taller man managed to open his own bottle while still having his arm draped around his shoulders. He was silent for a while, finishing his drink as he looked at all the closed bars and restaurants along the way. His mouth was still full as he hummed.
He swallowed the last drop of his choco milk as he pointed at the store with the empty bottle, “Here, hyung,” he said, voice almost questioning Matthew’s confusion.
Matthew looked in the direction he pointed and laughed, playfully tugging his arm away from the shop, “I just came out of there though?”, he mumbled out as he let himself get dragged inside.
“Don’t whine,” Gunwook’s tone was as cheeky as his smirk. He didn’t let go of Matthew even when he was crouching and choosing his late-night snack, instead bringing him down with him, ignoring Matthew’s protests and wriggling. He only freed him when he went to pay, meeting Matthew resting his head on his hand at the small table. He heated up his ramen and looked at him as he mixed it, “You sure you don’t want to eat too?”
“I could get full just by watching you eat.” He smiled, tucking Gunwook’s hair behind his ear before fiddling with the new can of beer in front of him - grapefruit flavour, matching the younger’s drink of choice.
They sat in silence, the buzz of the fluorescent tubes above them mixed with the quiet jazz on the radio giving a nice ambience to Gunwook’s slurping. Matthew couldn’t stop grinning; somehow just the presence of the other made his night this much better.
By the time Gunwook finished his food and drink it already turned pitch black outside, all the street lights painting the grey concrete orange. The pair stepped out of the shop, stumbling into the cold breeze and sharing Matthew’s previously unopened beer. It went without saying that they wouldn’t go straight to their dorms yet; rather it felt more natural for them to just roam about on the streets. Just wandering around, shoulders brushing past another’s, exchanging indirect kisses with the help of the canned beverage. Not saying a word to each other, apart from laughing as their fingers would get tangled and stuck together when passing the drink. It felt freeing and oddly comforting, once again letting Matthew’s racing thoughts relax, his mind empty and filled with blanks, but this time surrounded by Gunwook’s warmth.
They stopped near a small green square with nothing but a tiny bin and a wooden bench that was slightly wet from the humid air of the day. Matthew took the opportunity and chugged down the last bits of their beer before crushing the can in his hand and walking over to throw it away. He groaned as he stretched, slowly turning back around to find Gunwook smiling, phone raised to his ear, seemingly calling someone. He pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands and put them in his pockets as he waited for the other to finish, just to be met with a dumbfounded stare instead. Matthew tilted his head slightly, equally as confused as the other choked down his words and quickly hung up the phone. Gunwook laughed softly as he shoved the device back into his pocket, slowly walking towards Matthew. As the distance between them shortened he could finally see how embarrassed the younger had become, pink hues adorning his cheeks cutely, visible even under the weak warm light of the street lamp above them.
Matthew barely registered the quiet mumble from the other, “What is it Wookie?” he said with a puzzled smile apparent in his voice.
“Why didn’t you take your phone with you…” Gunwook hung his head, chuckling in between his words as he spoke. Matthew patted his pockets and hummed, his eyebrows raised.
“Huh, you’re right,” he confirmed, his tone still unclear. Gunwook whined, taking Matthew’s sweater paws in his hands, and tugging on the fabric idly.
“I planned so much to say but now... I’m stunned.” He let his head fall forward to rest on Matthew’s shoulder, hiding his shame in the crook of his neck. “ Happy birthday, hyung.”
Matthew smiled at the other’s actions and let out an ‘ Aww ’ as he realised. He patted the taller’s head before answering, “Oh,” he laughed as he wrapped his arms around him, bringing him closer into a hug. “Thank you, Gunwook.”
The moment the name left his mouth he felt big arms squeeze him back, face nuzzling further into his neck. The hug felt warm, completely shielding him from the chilly breeze and melting his heart down into a useless puddle. He felt moved, positively affected by the other’s action and immediately comforted by the embrace. He laughed any tears away as he backed up, breaking the hug and letting his hands fall down to his sides, the big ones still resting on his waist. He cooed again as he studied Gunwook’s teary-eyed expression, the taller one struggling to keep the smile on his face from faltering.
Matthew nodded, cupping the younger’s red cheeks and allowing him to cry if he needed to. He quickly wiped any tears that fell from his glistening eyes and tip-toed to rub their noses together making Gunwook laugh. He placed his hands on top of Matthew’s and looked at him, his pouty smile briefly finding its place against Matthew’s lips, before hiding his face in his neck again, pulling him impossibly closer.
Matthew smiled, moving his hands to clasp behind Gunwook’s back, looking up at the moon peeking from in between the dark clouds.