Chapter Text
Furina sighed and shut the tall double doors only a moment after she opened them. The dull rumble of indistinct chatter and gossip still filtered through the elegantly painted wood. She grumbled in defeat. “This place has four library rooms. You would think at least one of them would be quiet.”
She plodded up a nearby staircase, her shoulders slumped in resignation. Then she meandered down an empty hall. Sunlight streamed through the giant windows to her left. The verdant green grounds below were speckled with the purple and yellow uniforms of students basking in the warm weather. The fountain in the middle of the courtyard sparkled.
“How’s your day going, Mom?” Furina absently mused as she watched two boys in the middle of an intense Onikabuto battle on the pavement outside. “I know we both worked hard so I could be here.” She sighed again, her bag feeling heavier on her shoulder. “I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time.”
At the end of the hall, Furina came to a stop in front of another set of closed doors. The sign above read simply: “Music Room 3.” No noise emanated from beyond. Furina felt tentatively optimistic. “An abandoned music room?” She turned the handle and pushed the door open. “I guess this is the only place I’ll be able to study in peace…”
She trailed off as a flurry of rainbow rose petals swirled past her, accompanied by the scent of tasteful perfume, chocolate, and sea salt. A chorus of silky voices spoke as one. “Welcome, to the Fontaine Host Club.”
Furina adjusted her glasses, wondering if she had somehow fallen asleep and was now having a decidedly ludicrous dream. But no, the six people within the room remained- and all still arranged in a group pose. Why did rich people have to be so weird? Was it too late to go back to the noisy library?
That said… these clearly insane people were all ridiculously attractive. The tall, frowning woman with purple hair contrasted with the shorter, grinning woman with long golden curls beside her. Nearby were obviously a pair of twins, one boy, one girl, who had matching outfits even down to the small tattoos on their cheeks. A cool, stern- man? woman? individual- with a beautiful mane of grey hair stood with their arms crossed.
Most eye-catching of all was the elegant woman which all the rest were arranged around. She sat in a plush red chair, one leg crossed over the other. Her black hands were folded neatly in her lap, and she gazed at Furina with dark, red crossed eyes. Marvelously styled white and black hair framed her face and cascaded down her back. Her immaculate lips were pursed in a patient, and slightly smug smile.
Furina caught herself staring and quickly stammered out as she averted her eyes. “Th- this is a host club?”
The twins spoke in unison. "Oh wow, it's a boy!"
Furina’s eyebrow twitched. She was wearing a baggy sweater, and her glasses weren’t doing her face any favors, but did she really look so unfeminine? “No, I-“
The pretty person with grey hair cut her off before she could clarify. "Lyney, Lynette, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?”
"Yeah, but he's shy.” The twins replied with a shrug. “He doesn't act very sociably, so we don't know much about him." Furina felt a little indignant that they hadn’t even bothered to learn her gender but was cut off once again before she could speak.
"Hm. Well, that wasn't very polite." The grey-haired person shook their head in mock dismay before smiling at Furina. "Welcome to the Fontaine Host Club, Mr. Honor Student. My name is Neuvillette."
That knowing quirk to their lips, the amused glint in their eye… Furina frowned. Neuvillette definitely knew she was a girl. Any further thoughts along that track were banished as the beautiful woman rose from her chair and walked toward Furina with a tap of her stilettos.
"Ah! You must be Furina de Fontaine! You're that exceptional honor student we've heard about." Her deeper voice matched her tall, lanky form. Furina felt her heart skip a beat even as she nervously pressed her back against the door behind her. When had the door closed?
"H- How did you know my name?"
"Why, you're infamous,” Neuvillette answered as the frightening woman stalked ever closer. “It's not every day a commoner gains entrance into our academy. You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. de Fontaine."
Furina ground her teeth, even as her eyes never left the gaze of those blood red X’s only a few paces away now. "Well, uh, thank you, I guess," she muttered. The door handles weren’t turning anymore!
The woman slammed a palm into the door beside Furina’s head and leaned down closer. "You're welcome,” she drawled as Furina fought desperately not to squeak in fright. “You're a hero to other poor people, de Fontaine. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."
"I think you're taking this "poor" thing too far." Furina ducked under the woman’s arm and skirted along the wall away from her. Did her heart always beat this fast? No, definitely not. But surely it was because of the anxiety. Nothing else. Nope. Couldn’t be.
The tall woman followed her with leisurely footsteps. "Spurned. Neglected. But that doesn't matter now. We welcome you poor man, to our world of beauty and desire."
Furina paled at the sultry way she said that last word. "I'm… not sure I should be here."
She was so focused on the scary lady that she jumped as two new hands wrapped around her arm. The woman with yellow curls pulled her and spun her about. “Hey! Don’t leave, Furi! You must be like a superhero or something. That's amazing!"
"I'm not a hero. I'm an honor student!” Furina caught her footing and rounded on the happy woman. “And who are you calling "Furi"!?"
"I never would've imagined the famous scholar would be straight." That smooth voice spoke again from behind Furina and was followed by two slender black hands settling on her shoulders. A chill went down Furina’s spine.
"Wha-? Straight?" Where on earth had that come from? And why were all of these assumptions about her wrong??
The voice dropped close to Furina’s ear, so close she could feel the woman’s soft breath against her cheek. "90% of the student body is homosexual. You’re rare indeed.” The hands on her shoulders gripped tighter. “So tell me what kind of girls you're into. Do you like the strong, silent type? The older sister? How about the mischievous type, or the cool type?"
Each host club member dipped their head and smiled as their archetype was named. Even through the mounting panic in Furina’s breast, she still thought this was all awfully cheesy. Then the woman blew a puff of air into her ear and Furina shivered involuntarily.
"Uh... I, uh... It's not like that,” she stuttered. “I- I was just looking for a quiet place to study."
Apparently not listening at all, the scary woman gently turned Furina about and tilted her chin up with one long finger. "Or maybe... You're into a girl like me?" Her lips were so close. Could- could Furina just- could she- No! No, she could not! She had to leave this insane place before any more weirdness occurred! She just wanted to study!!
Furina jerked away from the woman’s grasp and stumbled backward. She impacted something sturdy with her rear. …Scratch that, not so sturdy. Whatever object she had run into fell away from her. Furina whipped around just in time to see a large jade vase inlaid with all sorts of gemstones shatter on the floor.
“Ah… uh…” Furina gaped wordlessly at the terrible disaster she had just created. Who puts an expensive vase in the middle of a room anyway? Why- why did this all have to happen to her?
"Aww." The twins popped up from behind Furina’s limp form.
"We were going to feature that Remurian vase in an upcoming school auction,” Lyney sighed.
"Now you've done it commoner,” Lynette agreed. “The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at eighty million mora!”
Furina’s life flashed before her eyes. "What?! Eighty million mora!?” Her hands shook as she stared at them dumbly. All of her honor student studies were gone from her mind. “H- how many thousand mora is that?” she weakly asked no one in particular. “How many thousands are in a million?"
The hosts gave her a variety of silent responses. The aloof purple haired woman hadn’t changed her expression since Furina had entered the room. The happy blonde woman looked genuinely sad. Neuvillette looked like their interest had suddenly been piqued. The twins wore mocking smiles. And the tall, sultry woman whose grasp Furina had just escaped looked somewhat surprised… and maybe even a little guilty?
"Uh…” Furina wanted to melt into the carpet. “I'm gonna have to pay you back."
The twins laughed. "With what money? You can't even afford a school uniform."
Lynette tugged on Furina’s fuzzy brown sweater. "What's with this grubby outfit you've got on anyway?"
Neuvillette addressed the lead woman. "What do you think we should do, Arlecchino?"
Arlecchino recovered from whatever mental turmoil she was undergoing, and her lips melted back into a confident smirk. "There's a famous saying you may have heard, de Fontaine.” She sat back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other again. ‘When in Mondstadt, you should do as the Mondstadters do.’”
She reclined in her seat and pointed at Furina. “Since you have no money, you can pay with your body.” Furina’s heart sank down to her shoes. Arlecchino continued. “That means starting today, you're the Host Club's servant and errand boy. In short: our dog."
Furina blinked. She supposed that was better than the first thing that came to mind when Arlecchino had talked about “paying with your body,” but even so… being a dog wasn’t overly appealing.
Also, why did a part of Furina feel just the tiniest bit… disappointed…?