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"One minute, all I wanted was for you two to wait ONE MINUTE." To say Edward was angry was an understatement, "But nooooo you have the impulse control of a three year old toddler!" Fuming and furious made no justice to his current state either.
"You were taking too long!"
"Yes, it was something I had foreseen which is exactly why I told you to WAIT until I gave the signal, but nothing gets through that thick skull of yours, now does it?"
The three men we arguing in their "Get Along Cell" at Arkham, a term coined by former doctor Quinzel; this cell was empty and big, there were no means for them to hurt each other if not by fist fighting, a hypothetical fight which would end with the Riddler's hypothetical death, a fate he had ensured would never happen by blackmailing every person who could have murderous intent towards him, he had said something along the lines of 'if I ever die, one of my associates will release a drive where everyone's secrets are stored and believe me, it will ruin you.' the wording implying he may have found a way of achieving immortality (not invulnerability though) and was too proud to fully share it with anyone; these threats however, had no impact on Harvey Dent or Two-Face whatsoever.
"You think you're smarter than everyone else"
"I KNOW, I'm smarter than everyone else."
"If you were smarter you'd know when to shut your mout." Two-Face interrupted.
"I'll have you know I have no regard to whether I'm liked or not-"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING LIKED OR NOT, IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO BASH YOUR HEAD THROUGH A WALL."
Silence.
"Well I have insurance."
"Your 'insurance' does not work with us."
"And yet here we are, my head remains unbashed."
"Zip it already." Harvey, scoffed and turned to face the wall.
"I would shut up if that fucking leprechaun would stop being a whiney bitch."
"Oh I'll show you whining-"
"ENOUGH." Harvey screamed once more, taking control of the situation as he often felt he had to do, "Both of you blew it, okay? This was not the coin's doing, but YOUR doing, and yes, that means you, Edward."
Edward just scoffed.
"Now, we are going to be staying in this hell for at least two days, so I suggest we be at least CIVIL with each other, am I clear?"
"Yes."
"Whatever."
"I said, Am. I. Clear, Edward?"
Edward stared at him, Harvey's figure looming over him was undoubtedly intimidating, not that he would ever admit so; he had no choice but to concede.
"Clear."
"Attaboy."
"Don't call me-"
"ATTA.BOY."
The men sat in silence across from each other, furrowed brows and clenched fists suppressing the anger that was slowly fading, and yet they clinged to it as if letting go meant defeat.
They couldn't let the silence settle in or the anger would leave.
"What are we going to do about this?" Edward asked plainly.
"About what?"
"How are we getting out of here?"
"I thought you said you liked Arkham."
"Yes, between jobs, to unwind after a great plan and distract my brain before the next one, but I left the current plan unfinished because you quite literally BLEW IT."
Two-Face let out a loud groan. "The vault opened, didn't it?"
"And we got caught because of it."
"Because you were taking too long!"
It was pointless, during the time they had known each other not once had they managed to do a job without having it all fall apart due to infighting, maybe in another universe they were two (or three?) peas in a pod, but it sure as hell wasn't this one.
"I'm not hearing shit from a guy whose decision making process is tossing a coin."
"And we're not taking shit from a fake wannabe who tries to act all fancy and eats some shit ass version of fish and chips."
"A friend recommended it!"
"Oh, now you have friends?" Harv said, angry as ever.
"Fuck you! What do YOU know about food?" Edward retorted once again.
"Well for your information, I actually took an overseas summer course in England." Harvey of course had to step in as always, a makeshift proverbial waltz, he always took one step forward...
"Like the brits know ANYTHING about food!" And Harv took two steps back.
"Fish and chips is a very popular dish in England!"
"You can't gatekeep a fish with a side of fries, every country with a beach can do it." Edward took Harv's side this time, a rare occurrence, but he was always all for making the saner half of the pair lose his mind.
"The seasoning is different and so is the cultural impact."
"Oh yeah? What do they put in it?" It seemed Harv took great pleasure in it as well.
"Vinegar." Harvey answered.
There was a pause.
"FUCKING VINEGAR?!" Edward wanted to tear him apart, instead he gave a big sardonic laugh.
"Yes, vinegar, I don't know why you find that so funny."
"Well excuse me 'college boy', if I don't believe that the secret to unlocking a whole culture is vinegar."
"You are impossible to deal with, you know that?"
"Oh am I?" Edward asked through laughter.
"Yes, you think you are so smart, hell, you think you're smarter than everyone around you and you think that just because you are smart you get a free pass at saying whatever the fuck you want but god FORBID anyone else says weird shit because then we're just a bunch of monkeys to ya."
"The issue being...?"
"The issue being you don't respect no one."
"Watch for that double negative Harvey, a lawyer can't afford to have careless discourse!"
"You little shit-"
"There are few people I respect, for example- those two Robins, you know? The smart ones? I respect them, despite being children at their time, both Drake and Brown were brilliant; Dr. Isley, Dr. Quinzel, Dr. Fries, Dr. Crane; each one outstanding in their own field."
Two-Face rolled his eyes.
"But you? You are an empty husk of what you used to be, hollow and devoid of that which made you great."
"At least we were someone before Two-Face, what were you before the Riddler? A fucking RadioShack cashier."
"That is not what I was, like, at all- regardless, it seems you misunderstand what I mean, unsurprisingly."
"Regerdless et seems- WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS WITH THAT?"
"OI YOU TWO." A voice called from outside, "PIPE DOWN ALREADY."
"FUCK YOU."
"YEAH FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE."
Insults were exchanged with the faceless voice, was it a guard? Was it another inmate? Who cares, what mattered is they were working together against a common enemy, so why couldn't they make it work? Why was it so hard to work together, to ACTUALLY work together?
Thirty minutes passed until the voices died out, they came out as victors.
The silence was deafening, but at least they weren't fighting anymore.
Edward looked at his cellmate; Harvey Dent, known commonly as Two-Face, was a stunning man, while many would finish this sentence saying "at least his left side is" this was not the case for Edward Nygma who found himself admiring the crass duality and contrast of the man.
He remembered Harvey Dent, way before either of them began their careers in crime, even then he was handsome, although not enough to tempt him, after all, he found him boring, just another man in a suit believing he could fool everyone in Gotham with his "Together we can make a better world" rubbish.
District attorney Harvey Dent did not pique Edward Nygma's interest in the slightest.
Disgraced former district attorney Harvey Dent however...
There was a certain allure, a charm, however Edward Nygma was an ally of Oswald Cobblepot during the trial that sealed Harvey Dent's fate, he was actually the one who got him the acid, needless to say they were off to a rocky start.
To say they didn't like each other would be wrong, after a while there was a grade of respect, admiration even, Edward was beginning to appreciate Harvey's unwavering commitment to his principles, his newfound principles, as unorthodox his methods were.
A simple coin toss, that was his thought process.
In Gotham's chaotic landscape, Harvey Dent stood -in Edward's mind- as a figure of determination, in an incredibly bizarre way. Edward saw in Harvey a mirror of his own obsession with puzzles, although not as refined.
It was evident enough to Edward that his perception of the man (or men?) was riddled with contradiction, fitting for the subject but nagging to him.
He did not know what to think or feel about them.
And he hated not knowing.
"What did you mean?" Harvey asked breaking the silence and snapping Edward out of his trance.
"What?"
"What did you mean when you said I am not what I used to be?"
Edward looked away, what did he mean?
"You are acting off."
"What?"
"Yeah, it's been going on for a while now, you're just... Off."
"Real specific aren't cha?"
"You're too spontaneous."
"Just finding out, Ed?"
"More than usual."
"What?" Two-Face asked, genuinely confused.
"You always have two plans, and you toss for it, but even when you do reckless things there- there is a method to your crazy."
Two-Face hummed.
"A method to my crazy."
"Yes."
"Thanks for noticing."
"Uh, yeah, I mean, everyone thinks you just do random stuff but it's not like you're not thinking, you just like to be loud and hard and-"
"Yeah that's enough."
Edward stopped, what was going on with him?
"It is nice though," Harvey spoke "you talking like you do."
"Oh, and what is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh nothing, it's just that you always try to speak so properly like you carry around a thesaurus, but honestly it's all play, you repeat many words."
"No, I do not."
"Yes, you do do."
"Do do?"
"Do do."
"You are unbelievable."
"And you are a braggart."
There it was again, the bickering. That familiar feeling was coming back to them in a frankly childish manner, only now their voices were hushed, not wanting to be interrupted again by whoever was hearing their conversation on the other side of their cell, who was it anyway? And what did they care if their bickering was like an old married couple's? Whoever it was, they were irrelevant, but it was annoying having to deal with them again.
"Why do you even care about how I speak? That is none of your business!"
"It annoys the hell out of me, you are a pompous fake asshole."
"Are you really calling me pretentious with the word pompous? Talk about the pot ca-"
"AHA! THAT!"
"Wha- AHA WHAT?!"
"You're doing it again! Trying to sound all high and mighty, you're not Lex Luthor."
"I am better than him!"
"Are you though?"
"YES."
Harvey scoffed, arguably everyone was better than Lex Luthor, just not the way Edward was thinking. He was impressive of course, Lex Luthor had a budget, Edward Nygma had scraps, something he resented and was ashamed off, maybe that was why he was so obsessed with marking his machines as his.
As stubborn and proud as Edward was, Harvey knew he was right, something was off with him, had been for some time now.
"Why do we keep doing this?" Two-Face asked.
"Doing what?"
"Trying to work together, it never goes well, we should be used to it by now."
Edward turned to face the wall "I suppose so."
The great Riddler found himself defeated again by his own habit of denying himself the possibility that everything could go wrong.
"I can't. I need this to work I- Ugh."
"Does this have something to do with you saying I'm 'off'?"
"Yes? I don't know."
"You don't know?" Harv chimed in. "Well that's a first."
"Shut up."
"No, YOU shut up, you keep us running circles and there is so much we can take, Harvey may want to ignore it and keep going on but I will make you speak."
"Ignore what? You're not making any sense!"
"Good, now you know what it feels like."
"Harv, please stop."
"No, Harvey, he needs to know, I'm tired of us having to go through this all because he can't see something so obvious."
Edward was furious, what was this all about?
"Your head is so far into your ass you don't even realize YOU are why we are 'off'"
"Now you're trying to blame me for your incompetence?"
"The Macguffin Bank was not our best moment, yes, but that is not what I mean and you know it."
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM, I DON'T KNOW."
"Is it really so hard for you to realize you are loved?"
Edward stopped, he couldn't pobbibly mean that.
"Harvey... Is he?"
"Yes, this is- forget it, please."
Edward's back hit the wall as he slid into the floor.
He was loved?
Was it Harvey?
Was it Harv?
Was it both?
Impossible.
"Impossible."
"What?"
"You cannot love me."
"What are you on about now?"
"You cannot love me, neither of you can, NO ONE can."
Harvey wanted to fight him, but he knew this was not him exalting himself, this came from a place of hate, vulnerability and fear, this was him.
"Shit, Edward I-" Harvey exhaled "I know it's... Weird, okay? It's weird to feel things at this age, at this business... Not thtat it's impossible it's just... Awkward."
"You can't even properly say it."
"You're right, I can't, as much as I want to, because this is complicated, and it takes time."
"Agreed."
"Good. So, you can forget we ever said anything to begin with-"
"That is literally impossible. Eidetic memory, remember?" Edward stood up and walked towards the man. "Even if it was possible, I don't think I'll ever let either of us forget it."
"Okay Edward, I know you got intimacy issues, hell, I have them too, but we're really putting ourselves in the line right here and would appreciate if you could stop your saracasm for a minute."
Edward sighed, there was so much he wanted to say, so many truths that were begging to be told, to escape the depth of his heart soul nad mind, and he couldn't find the strength to say them.
"I know... Harv has been the one taking care of you, of BOTH of you." He begun, "and so far he has done an excellent job, I mean, just look at you. Why would you two ever need me or even want me? I would just be a bother, I can't even take on the Bat without everything blowing up in my face."
"But you try, in the face of adversity and against all odds, you perservere."
Edward looked at him again, "Doesn't that just make me stubborn?"
"You are many thing Edward, everyone is many things and even still they grow."
"And they change, what if- what if you just stop liking those things? Or what if you grow and change and I don't? What if I remain the nagging stubborn fantasy-clinging asshole I am? Will you just leave me behind or will you stay tied to me and resent me for it?"
"Do you really think so little of yourself?"
Edward said nothing, visibly upset and clearly remorseful from what he had just said, if there really was a chance for anything, he had just lost it, after all, who could love a man who can't even love himself?
"Well it was about time someone changed that."
What?
"I know- We know it's not easy, in fact it gets harder sometimes, and some days you might think you are the greatest form of life in the universe and many other days you will feel like you are not worth shit, I'll be there with you, just please promise you will be there for me. Everyone thinks that for growth it is important we fall alone, but humans have always been social being by nature, don't we deserve to stand together?"
Edward pondered on the proposal, was it real? Did he deserve to have someone by his side? It would be nice, to have HIM by his side, Edward thought; and he would be lying if he didn't recognize he had always felt a need to see through all of Dent's failures and achievements.
How wonderful it would be to be together.
"I suppose that's wise of you to say, Harv. Maybe a bit too wise for you, I'm surprised."
"Back to being an ass already?"
"I'm always and ass, and yet here you are."
"If you could just see what we see."
"You don't see what I see either."
"What do you see?"
"Fire, strength, wit, not to mention you are easy on the eyes."
"Shut up."
"Make me."
In a swift movement, Two-Face grabbed Edward's arm, pulling him toward him, and just when he was about to do it...
"Sorry to interrupt you two right now but uhh you guys should step away from that wall." A voice boomed through the speaker in the cell, Edward was well acquainted with that voice.
"Miss Tuesday? Is that you?" A beacon of hope, an exit.
"Okay so, you're definitely speaking right now so I gotta remind you I can't hear what you're saying, Eddie, and you look dumb talking to no one so... Stop it."
The men did as they were told and stepped aside, soon enough, the wall between them came down.
"Get out now! Oh, hello Mr. Two-Face!"
"Hey Kwiz Kid."
"Sherman what are you doing here?"
"Breaking you out! Sugar and Echo are in the car Query and Spice are distracting the guards."
"Please never pair them up like that again it sounds weird." Harvey said with a pained voice.
The kid left quickly guiding them to the getaway car.
"Got a lot of people looking out for you, haven't you, Nygma?"
"I could say the same about you two."
"Hey Edward." Harvey stopped for a moment and grabbed Edward's arm. "Do you think we could try?"
Edward looked at him and smiled.
"Sure."