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It was a normal evening like so many they had had before. There were a scattering of cases on the board, none of which were time sensitive or that looked too risky for once. Charles had been sorting through his bag, changing various things out they might need for the morning. Then he had gone on a bit of a tidying spree as he started putting away the things he had taken out, though it didn’t look much like it when he was finished. Half a dozen more things were now left out where he would remember to do something with them later. Instead he was lying on the floor, tossing a ball into the air and catching it. Edwin sat on their old, beat-up, sofa reading some huge book and commenting every now and then when he found something interesting. Some of it genuinely was. Even now they still found out new things about ghosts that they had no idea about, let alone all the other spooky, supernatural stuff they seemed to come across.
As Edwin read out another interesting fact Charles paused, unable to stop the smile on his face. Everything was just perfect. They were safe, not running from Death or Hell. They had their office back, back in London. Crystal had found a flat nearby she rented with her parents’ money. It was good to have her close, but Charles treasured these nights where there was no need to get Crystal out of bed, just the two of them hanging out together while everyone else slept. He didn’t think he had ever been this happy or felt this safe. Not at school, definitely not at home, and going to Port Townsend had thrown into stark relief how different things could be. They could be somewhere strange and foreign…they could be torn away from each other. By jealousy or anger or Hell it didn’t really matter. Charles couldn’t bear the thought of losing Edwin.
He looked at the other boy, bent over his book. It was kind of adorable when he thought about it. Something about being so brainy and so clueless at the same time. Charles had guessed Edwin liked guys a long time ago. It didn’t matter to him as long as it didn’t break them apart. He couldn’t imagine not being able to see Edwin’s face when he found a clue. To see his strut when he knew he was right. To hear his voice when…well any time really. Charles wished he could still sleep so he could fall asleep to Edwin’s voice. It should be morbid, given the way that he had died. Maybe it was because he hadn’t known he was dying. Edwin…he tried to come across as ruthless, but he was the kindest person Charles knew. So attentive to every little clue about the people around him. He could swear Edwin knew what Charles needed before he did half the time.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
There was a sudden thud as the book Edwin had been holding snapped shut and Charles bolted to his feet meeting Edwin’s eyes as his heart raced.
“Sorry!” Charles started. “That kind of slipped out.”
Edwin’s face fell, almost imperceptibly, but it broke Charles’ heart. “I never thought you would be cruel Charles.”
“No! No, please! I’m sorry, ok, that’s not what I meant. I’m not sorry I said it. I’m sorry I said it like that.”
Hope crept into Edwin’s expression. “What? What do you mean? Please Charles, I do not enjoy these kinds of games.”
Charles knelt on the floor by Edwin’s feet, shuffling as close as he could, his hand coming up unbidden to grasp his friend, just hold him, just let him know that they are together, that they’ll always always be together.
“No games,” Charles promised. His heart skipped, but in excitement rather than fear as he felt himself smile to just be close to Edwin, to have this opportunity. “Edwin, I think it’s the truth. I think I’m in love with you.”
Edwin tensed. “You seem to ‘think’ a lot. Is it true or isn’t it?”
Charles looked around the room as if that might give him some kind of clue and shrugged helplessly. “How did you know for certain you were in love with me?”
“I didn’t.” Edwin said stiffly. “For a long time. I had these…feelings. I knew I had no interest in Monty or the Cat King and yet it still took Monty telling me.” He paused and looked down. “Monty said it was obvious I was in love with you and suddenly it was. Very obvious.”
“Edwin,” Charles ducked his head, trying to meet Edwin’s eyes. “I’ve loved you for a long long time. I never considered…It never occurred to me…Edwin you’re everything to me. Do you hear me? There’s nothing and no one that could ever compare. If that’s not being in love with you then I don’t know what is.”
Edwin searched his face for a moment and Charles let him take his time. “But…you like girls. You kissed Crystal.”
Charles nodded. “I do. But I think I like boys too? It was just never something you admitted, did you? I don’t think I ever admitted it to myself.”
“Yes,” Edwin said softly. “Quite.”
There was a long pause as they just looked at each other. Slowly Edwin lit up with a smile Charles had only seen once before, on the steps of Hell. Hopeful, joyful. So unlike Edwin, and at the same time warming to Charles’ heart like nothing else. Charles couldn’t help but return it, stroking his hands down Edwin’s arms, something swelling in his chest.
“Charles?”
“Yeah mate.”
“Will you kiss me?”
Charles leaned closer. “I thought you would never ask.”
Their lips touched. It was more of a long peck, than any kind of snog, but Edwin was quickly reaching for another and Charles was happy to oblige. The kisses became longer, Charles opening his mouth to show Edwin the way and being met only too eagerly, Edwin pulling him closer and closer until Charles was practically lying on top of him on the sofa.
Charles shuffled until they lay facing each other, their heads together on the arm of the sofa. His hand found Edwin’s hip, stopping himself from falling off as much as pulling Edwin closer. He thought he would feel embarrassed touching Edwin like this. For all his talk of potentially getting it on with Crystal he’d never actually got that far with a girl. Oh he’d kissed plenty. With one girl he’d proper fancied it had got pretty hot and heavy, but he couldn’t even remember her name now. It had been fun, but it hadn’t mattered, not really. This mattered so much to Charles, this with Edwin. These slow kisses, Edwin’s hand on his cheek, his own dipping under the edge of Edwin’s shirt, sliding round to Edwin’s back. He should feel hesitant, nervous…But there was none of that. It felt as natural as breathing had felt to have the boy he loved in his arms.
“Can you feel that?” Edwin whispered between kisses.
Charles paused if only to admire how beautiful he looked. When he did his brain started to click back on.
“I can. I can feel you…”
Edwin cut him off with a hand on his chest. “Here.”
“Yeah. It’s…it’s not like we’re alive.” He focussed on the warmth in his chest. It wasn’t just warmth. He couldn’t think of any other way to explain it: it felt like Edwin. Like his soul had been branded on Charles’ chest. He experimented, letting his hand wander lower over Edwin’s bum and gasping in tune with him as exactly how Edwin felt about that reflected in that place in his chest. “It’s not physical. It’s…” He leaned forward barely an inch to kiss his lips gently, felt the slight whine as he pulled away. “It’s like I can feel what it means to you.”
“Yes,” Edwin said breathily. “I feel the same. With you. Charles,” Edwin’s hands both came to his face, pulling his head down so their foreheads touched. “Charles, I know you’re telling the truth.”
As if Charles ever lied to Edwin, but he knew what he meant. They had both been through a lot. Been betrayed, lied to, trapped, discarded. To know, to really know, that you were safe, that this person was exactly who you thought they were…as mates they knew they would stay together forever. Now they knew it as boyfriends too.
That thought made Charles look Edwin in the eye again with a grin. “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”
If Edwin could have blushed he would have. “I-I suppose. Yes. Boyfriend. That would be…accurate. Though perhaps…” he petted at Charles’ top feebly, looking at his hands. “Perhaps we don’t need to advertise it. It would be unprofessional.”
Charles could feel his uncertainty, his desperate need to protect this fledgling thing they had and kissed his brow. “Whenever you’re ready, love.”
…………………..
It would be less than a week before Edwin ostentatiously kissed him in front of Crystal. Charles would cherish her squeals of surprise and delight for much longer.