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EP.1: Lipstick Testing! (Sponsored by SK-III)
Daniel Park lives a very normal life. He does the same things every day - he sleeps, he goes to work at the local convenience store, and he streams.
To be precise, Daniel is a mukbang streamer. Fried chicken, pizza, kimchi, you name it, he'll probably eat it. He's done eating challenges, like timing himself to see how many hotdogs he can eat in five minutes. He's never broken any records, though, and he usually has to cut the stream short so he can sit in front of the toilet and hurl for the next hour and generally regret all his life decisions. Most of the time, he just does ASMR eating or cooking streams, however. As much as he adores fried chicken, or exploring the nearest restaurants for the best or wildest food options in sponsored restaurant recommendation streams, nothing really beats the pleasure of a good, home-cooked meal.
Of course, he's done his fair share of collaboration streams too. A few years ago, he'd found kinship in Rapper Duke - both of them were fat and previously bullied in school, which had developed a wicked kind of sass in Daniel and a respectful 'too cool for you' vibe in Duke. They still eat together every now and then, although Daniel doesn't sing with him anymore.
Daniel had found a friend in Vasco not long after, oddly amused by the gym-tuber's strange way of thinking. He'd let Vasco, who was very earnestly worried that Daniel would get coronary heart disease, convince him to do a long-term exercise challenge. After doing one-hundred push-ups, one-hundred pull-ups, one-hundred squats and running ten kilometres with Vasco every single day for four months, Daniel didn't even recognize himself in the mirror anymore. It's been four years since then, and Vasco still makes Daniel do all that exercise with him. Now, Daniel's lost twenty kilograms of weight and he's grown a couple inches despite swearing he was too old for growth spurts. He's not sure if he loves or hates Vasco anymore.
Daniel has other streamer friends too - Zack Boxing, who probably has some kind of anger issue and is terrifyingly protective of his not-girlfriend; Hobin Yoo, who's better known as How To Fight, and seems to be embroiled in some kind of political controversy that Daniel is politely ignoring...
His best streamer friend, though, has to be Zoe. He and Zoe go way back - she found him revolting at first, back in middle school when Daniel had a pig-like belly and a half-blind fatty's face to match. Somewhere along the line, probably when she started her beauty and fashion NewTube channel 'skyypark', her disgust had morphed into a morbid curiosity to see what Daniel would look like if he actually dressed to match his body type instead of his budget.
Their friendship had blossomed when Daniel lost so much weight thanks to Vasco. Since then, she's been testing out all kinds of make-up on him to make him a swoon-worthy K-pop idol-esque model instead of a common loser.
So now, watching Zoe's videos out of obligation or by force is part of Daniel's schedule. She doesn't even need it, honestly. She has two million subscribers! But Daniel was one of her first followers, and she was his, so their tradition of watching each other's streams continues.
Daniel usually mutes her videos, although he'll never tell her that. She's gorgeous, that's undeniable, but her voice is just a little too piercing, and she streams for a mostly female audience, after all. She talks about handsome K-drama actors a lot, and sometimes she mentions idols Daniel recognizes from his brief stint as an idol trainee at PTJ Entertainment (he was pretty much kidnapped by the talent scout, those are bad memories for him), but at the end of the day he's a straight guy, okay? He likes plush lips and nice, squeezable chests, although Daniel would rather throw himself out the nearest window before asking Zoe if she'd let him touch hers. She'd probably kill him. He's been hit for less.
Well, maybe telling a girl "damn, you got them mommy milkers" when she hugs you and basically shoves your face into her boobs isn't quite the compliment Daniel thinks it is. He only meant well! Zoe has a great chest! She told him she already knew that, and chased him around while smacking him with her handbag until he screamed for mercy.
To this day, Daniel Park is Not an armpits guy.
The star of today’s video is none other than a mystery girl with the nicest mouth Daniel has ever seen. She doesn’t speak, only parts them or smacks them at Zoe’s request. It’s not every day that Zoe gets a model for her makeup tutorials, since she usually does them on herself, but maybe it’s different if you’re being sponsored by a makeup company and paid to test out their latest lipsticks. Lip tints. Whatever. Daniel honestly can’t tell the difference, and nothing Zoe can do will ever change that.
It’s easy to watch while Daniel eats his jajangmyeon. His mother had given it to him to take home when he visited her over the weekend, and it’s every bit as delicious as Daniel remembers it being in his childhood. Things are much better for them now that King Daniel earns a steady salary from simply eating on Kwitch, but his mother just prefers their hometown in Chungcheongdo over the hectic Seoul city life.
She doesn’t know he streams, though. She thinks he has an office job making videos about food, which isn’t entirely wrong of her, so Daniel isn’t bothered correcting her about it. She doesn’t have to know he’s lazing around right now while watching some girl’s stupidly pretty mouth. It’s already plush and pink without any makeup, it’s gorgeous according to Zoe, and Daniel would be a fool to disagree. For a brief moment, Daniel wonders what it would feel like to touch those lips, to feel them under his fingertips. He wonders how it would feel to be kissed.
Daniel’s mouth pops open and he drops his chopsticks with a clatter when Zoe zooms out to thank her model. She’s giggling, and rightfully so, because her comment section is exploding with questions. Daniel’s brain is exploding too.
Huhhhh?? That’s a boy?! Willing to let Zoe test lipsticks on him?
And the most important question yet - oh fuck, oh fuck, why is Daniel’s first thought, he still looks kinda kissable???!?!!!?!?!?!??!?!!
EP.2: Window Shopping Part 10: G3000 For Tall Guys
Daniel blessedly forgets about Zoe’s unfortunately male friend with nice lips overnight, only to be reminded of his existence in the morning when Zoe texts him to laugh about her followers begging for the poor guy’s contact details and whether he has a girlfriend.
Ugh, Daniel complains, must be nice to be tall and good-looking.
Girls won’t date guys like Daniel, even if said guys have the face of a K-pop trainee. They hate being taller, and although Daniel is Zoe’s designated ‘cute’ guy friend, being ‘cute’ like a child is not what Daniel wants, and not what girls want in a boyfriend either. This is why most of Daniel’s viewership is male. His little hype men like to goad him to eat more, eat more, eat until Daniel feels a little sick, but luckily he has a few .
Just to spite Daniel, Zoe invites her guy friend back for another video. He’s just as unfairly handsome as he was last time, with his absurdly well-shaped jawline and straight nose and full lips. He’s got no makeup on, unlike Zoe, who has clearly put in a little effort to look good enough next to her prince-like companion. Zoe’s gone all out on her eye makeup, and it looks good on her.
On the other hand, her friend doesn’t even have eyes. Or he might but they’re covered by long platinum blond bangs that somehow look cool instead of cringey as fuck.
Well, Daniel might not be quite as attractive, but he’s good at being spiteful. He keeps watching out of sheer spite, because come on, there’s no way Zoe can make him look good in those atrocious G3000 suits, right? They don’t even look that good! He’s waiting for Mr Tall, Blond and Gorgeous - like a french fry, yeah, that’s what Daniel will call him - to fuck up somewhere. Hopefully he’ll burst a button somewhere, that would be embarrassing!
Daniel ends up sorely disappointed.
Mr French Fry (okay, Daniel does know his name, Zoe had said it but Daniel just refuses to remember it because he’s petty that way) changes into a simple dress shirt and slacks first. Zoe says the way the cutting of the shirt frames his shoulders is obscene, and when he strolls out of the changing room like a supermodel onto the catwalk, wearing the most simple formal outfit of all time, all the saleswomen in the store stop and stare.
Daniel is so jealous.
Not only is Mr French Fry tall and handsome, his body proportions are also possibly better than Vasco’s, and Vasco is the guy with the best body Daniel knows! He’s got wide shoulders, a narrow waist, and such a nice ass Daniel has to pause the video to stare at it. For a moment, he forgets his irritation of the guy, because damn that is most certainly an ass of all time. Daniel sets the video on double speed to catch up to Zoe’s stream, and to make things worse, he realizes that the white dress shirt is just a little translucent. It’s enough to reveal the ridges of well-defined pecs and rippling abs and bring Daniel’s immense jealousy to an all-time high.
Zoe puts Mr French Fry - real name Jay - into a suit jacket. He rocks it, obviously. His skin tone is hideously nice in navy blue. She makes him wear a three-piece next, showing off the difference between buttoning and unbuttoning the top button when Jay takes the outer layer off. He looks so much like royalty it’s actually getting ridiculous.
Well, apparently he’s rich enough to be a prince too, if his wardrobe at home really is full of Prada and Dior.
Daniel very unwillingly finds himself wondering whether Jay is interested in sugar babies. Like, if you subtract Daniel’s school fees, eating fees, living fees, rent, and monthly payments to his mother from his Kwitch salary, he doesn’t earn that much, really. It’s enough for him to scrape by, but a little more financial support other than Kwitch user asdf’s million-won balloons would be nice, you know? Saliva pools in his mouth, and Daniel is certain it’s because he’s thinking of money, and definitely not because he can’t stop himself from subconsciously ogling Jay’s unfairly sculpted body. IF he’s got his top off on camera, he has got to be showing off.
Predictably, the girls in the chat go wild. Daniel gulps down the saliva in his mouth before he actually starts drooling.
Yes, Daniel is jealous. That is the only possible reason why he can’t stop looking at Jay. He catches himself mid-look at Jay when he’d been telling himself to pay attention to Zoe mere moments ago, and almost bites his tongue trying to stop himself from screaming in frustration and getting the cops called on him by his neighbors again.
Zoe’s breasts are bouncing, which usually never fails to catch his attention, perverted as it sounds! Zoe has an incredibly nice chest, big tits even without plastic surgery! So why isn’t he distracted by them right now when he needs it most? Please, why can’t he just appreciate a female body in peace?
Daniel wants to cry. What’s wrong with his eyes? What’s wrong with his brain?
When the dreadful (okay, it wasn’t really that dreadful, Daniel did get some fashion tips on what short guys like him shouldn’t wear) stream finally ends, Daniel almost sobs in relief.
This better be the last time Jay goes on your streams, Daniel texts Zoe afterwards. She’ll think he’s joking, jealous of Jay boosting her views more than Daniel did when he made surprise appearances, but there’s a fraction of truth in that statement.
Nah, says Zoe, he’s funny, and chat likes him. And you shouldn’t be so mean to him, she adds afterwards. He’s one of my IRL friends, but he’s also your fan, you know. He watches your streams. Like, obsessively.
Daniel scowls to himself. That changes things slightly. But you know what they say about never meeting your idols, right?
EP.3: Introducing My Guy Friend to Yoga!
Over the course of the next few days, Daniel makes it his personal mission to find out everything about Zoe’s friend Jay. Out of spite, of course. Nothing else.
So Jay’s last name is Hong, apparently. He’s the son of H Group’s CEO Steve Hong, but nobody - or rather, Wikipedia - barely seems to know Jay, only having information on his older brother Kitae and little sister Joy, who are respectively a businessman and a high school model. Jay comes from money, living alone in a massive penthouse Daniel would probably have to sell all his organs to afford even a mere fraction of the rent. He became friends with Zoe through his little sister, Joy, who also adores fashion and makeup and goes to yoga classes with Zoe. Jay’s a basketballer, apparently. He’s selectively mute, but his hoop-shooting skills are unparalleled.
Daniel gnashes his teeth at the thought. He’s not a big fan of basketball, not after his middle school bullies had thrown him around like basketball, but apparently Jay - irritatingly handsome, absurdly charming Ja - had been bullied in school too, which makes Daniel’s irritation at him dissipate somewhat.
Why are you so obsessed lmao , asks Zoe.
Daniel flushes angrily, glad that Zoe can’t see his red face. He’s not obsessed, he’s just… Just…
Okay, yeah. He supposes his Jay Hong investigation frenzy could be called some form of aggressive obsession. Still, he tells her he’s not obsessed about Jay Hong. Just curious about Zoe’s friend. He's doing this for her! Like what if he’s got bad intentions? Not that Daniel can think of anything off the top of his head, but still! What if he’s secretly crazy for Zoe?
He tells her that, to which she responds oh, that’s definitely not true 😂😭.
Daniel fumes to himself. Jay Hong keeps making him feel like he’s having a heart attack, and Daniel will find out why, one way or another.
So Daniel waits for Zoe to invite Jay as a guest onto another stream, eagerly hoping the blond will fuck up somewhere and reveal his true intentions. He feels like a lion hiding in the grass, waiting to sink his jaws into his unsuspecting prey.
Zoe brings Jay back for yoga, of all things. His protests go unseen and unheard, as his little sister Joy registers him as part of the class with a devilish grin. Joy Hong is cute, but she’s enough of a menace that Daniel has high hopes for her to subtly push Jay into messing up somewhere.
In his shock at Jay’s natural prowess at yoga, Daniel forgets about Zoe and Joy. Jay’s movements are fluid as water, and he carries himself with a grace that most men - including Daniel - usually don’t have. Apparently, he did gymnastics before, and when Daniel imagines him in a skimpy leotard, he’s immediately horrified at two things - one, he imagines it a little too clearly; and two, Imaginary Leotard Jay actually looks good .
Maybe it’s because of his yoga pants. They’re skintight, hiding nothing of his toned calves and leanly muscled thighs. Daniel swears Jay’s legs are several miles long, or maybe that’s because of Zoe’s camera panning, from the perfectly arched soles of his feet, to his calves, his knees, his thighs… it seems to go on forever! Daniel is hypnotized against his will by those lightly flexing muscles. They’re definitely not feminine in the slightest, so why is Daniel’s saliva pooling in his mouth? Why won’t it stop? Daniel doesn’t have a foot kink, or a leg kink, and he’s not gay, so what’s going on?!
Jay and Zoe follow the instructor’s next move, Jay following after wobbling slightly. Zoe’s only in a bra top and shorts, so when she stretches her arms above her head, straining to keep her balance with only one foot on the ground, the pervy dudebros in her NewTube live chat immediately start fawning over her armpits.
Gross.
Daniel is different, and he’s not sure if he likes the specifics of it. Instead of politely ogling Zoe’s body like he usually would, his eyes have once again strayed to the strip of pale skin revealed when Jay raised his arms skyward and his shirt rode up. Jay’s waist is narrow, almost as narrow as Zoe’s when Daniel compares the two with his fingers. But he’s also rocking a six pack compared to Zoe’s flat stomach. Daniel peeks at his own belly, sighing. He’ll go for a run after the stream. God knows he needs the exercise.
It’s when they get to the cat pose that Daniel truly loses his mind. It’s an easy pose. Just get on all fours and arch your back, that’s all there is to it. Zoe’s butt jiggles slightly when she does it, and Daniel has no shame admitting that he looked. He likes doggy as much as the next guy, alright? No shame in that!
So why is he looking at the sinful curve of Jay’s back again? Why is he staring at how those broad shoulders taper down to a slim waist and a nice, round bubble butt? Daniel swears, if he ever sees that ass in real life, he’ll spank it in revenge for all the nasty heart palpitations he’s been getting right now.
Is Daniel having a heart attack? Or does he just have to go on a run and throw himself into the Han River on the way? Argh! Stupid Jay Hong!
EP.4: Kabedon Prank: Hot Gay vs Straight Guys!
Daniel has no idea what’s wrong with him. A day after Zoe’s yoga stream, she asks what he thought of it, and whether he’d consider going with her next time.
What can Daniel possibly say? He’s sure “IDK what to think, I had a very inappropriate dream about your guy friend and his sexy yoga pants last night” is not what Zoe wants to hear. Or she might, but not in the context of a streamer asking for feedback. Not that Daniel will ever tell anyone about that dream anyway. It was… really inappropriate. Daniel has never even dreamed about hot girls like that before, ever, so he’s not sure why his brain thinks it’s okay for him to dream about a guy instead.
Oh yeah, Zoe adds, you wanna meet up for lunch tomorrow? Feels like we haven’t seen each other face to face for a long time lolllll
Daniel checks his schedule. He’s got a stream tomorrow night, and he knows he tends to wake up late on weekends, but he’s free for the afternoon. Sure, he answers, the same fried chicken place I brought you to last time?
YES, Zoe replies within seconds. Daniel is pretty sure she’s meant to be dieting, but once again, so is he. ILYSM YOU DA BEST DANNY <33333
Daniel licks his lips in anticipation. No dieting scheme can keep him from his greatest love.
Daniel is very sure Zoe said lunch would be a catchup session with just the two of them. So can somebody tell him why Zoe came with Jay Hong in tow? Daniel stares at Jay, and the blond waves at him shyly. Daniel keeps staring, unable to do anything else, until Jay fidgets nervously and Daniel remembers he actually has a tongue inside his suddenly dry mouth. “Zoe, what is he doing here?”
Zoe, seeming to deliberately ignore Daniel’s inner crisis, just beams at him. “You’ve asked him a lot,” she says, barreling on without a care in the world to the angry, embarrassed flush on Daniel’s cheeks, “and he talks about you nonstop, he’s just a lil fanboy, aren’t you, Jay?” Jay makes an embarrassed sound. “I just thought you guys would get along!” Oh god, she’s got the puppy dog eyes and she’s laying it on thick. “Jay, sweetie, you know I can’t be your only friend.”
Jay buries his head in his hands, and when Daniel attempts to get a closer look at whatever expression he’s making, the blond makes an embarrassed noise and attempts to crawl under the table, either trying to flee or hoping the ground will swallow him up.
Daniel can’t deny that flustering a near-perfect male specimen kind of boosts his ego quite nicely. “I guess you’re not too bad,” he declares begrudgingly, much to Zoe’s delight. “Nice to officially meet you, Jay Hong. My name’s Daniel Park, but, uh, you already know that.”
Jay bonks his head on the table, and Daniel almost fails to stop the spontaneous thought of “Aw, that’s kinda cute” from flying out of his mouth. Daniel has no idea why he keeps thinking Jay is kind-of-sort-of-maybe really cute, mainly in a kind of “aw, look at that stupid Golden Retriever puppy tripping over itself” kind of way. Is it because Jay looks and acts a little like an oversized Golden Retriever puppy? Or because he cuts up his fried chicken with a fork and knife like a classy surgeon (he is a rich boy and a med student) instead of eating with his bare hands?
Daniel’s cheeks are red from his own embarrassment, and he fears his flush will become permanent when Zoe asks Daniel how his streams are going, which cues Jay to launch into a passionate text-to-speech ode to King Daniel’s wonderful streams and the world of food and how King Daniel’s streams make the loneliness of living alone fade away, if only for a few hours every day.
Daniel, flustered to the point of forgetting that the text-to-speech voice came from Jay’s phone, shoves a lump of boneless chicken in Jay’s mouth in an attempt to shut him up. Jay looks at him, eyes wide under his bangs, chewing slowly. They stare at each other, mutually lost for words, Daniel’s fork still raised.
Zoe clears her throat, suddenly looking very, very interested. She has her phone out, the camera facing Daniel and Jay, which cannot possibly mean good news in any shape or form. “Jay,” she says sweetly, a devil-like smile on her face, “remember what I taught you?”
A pink flush spreads across Jay’s cheeks. He gestures for Daniel to sit facing him, which Daniel does obediently, even though he’s still confused. “What’s up?”
Jay gestures for Daniel to clasp his hands together, which Daniel follows, then asks him to stick the fingers of one hand up, which Daniel does. The next thing he knows, Jay has intertwined their fingers and pinned both of Daniel’s hands above his head with a loud bang that makes Daniel gasp. Jay grins, looking thoroughly pleased with himself for caging Daniel between himself and the hard wall behind Daniel.
Daniel’s heart is racing in his chest, his eyes blown wide. If he was standing, he’d be weak-kneed, suspended by Jay’s iron grip alone.
He’s so close. Jay’s muscular thighs press against Daniel’s, his firm chest emanating heat. God, even his lips are gorgeous up close, plush and perfectly pink. Jay leans closer, his lips pursed just a little.
For a brief moment, Daniel thinks they might kiss.
For an even briefer, hysterical moment, Daniel thinks he might not mind.
An embarrassing whimper spills from his lips when Jay leans closer yet. He’s straight, he’s straight, but he can feel Jay’s soft exhale fanning across his heated face and it makes a moan bubble in his throat. Daniel swallows the desperate sound, frantic, his eyes squeezing shut as he mentally prepares himself for a kiss that… never comes?
Jay Hong, the man, the bastard, smirks when Daniel’s eyelids fly open. He almost goes cross-eyed as Jay wipes away a spot of sauce on Daniel’s upper lip with the pad of his thumb. He keeps watching, embarrassed and flustered and god forbid, he’s actually kind of turned on, as Jay slowly, sensually licks the pad of his thumb. Jay swallows, his lips still curved up in that god-forsaken smirk as his Adam’s apple bobs.
Daniel exhales shakily. His heart is pounding in his chest, the blood in his body seemingly confused as to whether it should flow normally, rush to Daniel’s face, or make its way down south. “Zoe,” he squeaks in an unintentionally breathy voice that makes the girl in question grin like she’s possessed, “am I having a heart attack? I think I’m having a heart attack. Can you order me some water in case I, uh, you know, collapse?”
Nobody hands him any water.
Jay’s smirk wobbles, then melts into a beaming grin of genuine amusement as Zoe starts cackling like a witch and fiddling with her phone. Daniel sighs. “Alright, Zoe, what were you filming me for?”
He has a sneaking suspicion she hasn’t stopped, but she’s wheezing too hard to say anything coherent. When she can finally speak again, her entire face is red, and there are tears in her eyes that she’s still frantically trying to fan away. “Oh my god,” she gasps, “okay. So. What Jay just did with you was the gay kabedon challenge.”
“Ah.”
Daniel had seen it on TicTacToc, laughed about the impossibility of his five-foot-three self doing it to anyone, and promptly forgot all about it. “I see.”
“But we also made it a fragile masculinity challenge, since Jay is actually gay…” And apparently, none of the other five straight guys had reacted the way Daniel did. There was no chemistry, as Jay describes it. Zoe calls it sexual tension.
“Excuse me,” Daniel says politely, his heart racing a mile per minute, “I think I’ll leave first. I, uh. I have to walk my dogs.”
“Daniel, you don’t even have dogs!” Zoe cries out as Daniel flees to have his crisis in peace.
When he finally streams that night, he rants to his chat about it. Half of them are from Zoe’s raid - she’d gone through a few more guys after him, and Daniel remains the only unfortunate one who had completely fallen for it. Once he’s sure Zoe is really gone and not lurking, he spills everything, even the errant thought that he’d let Jay kiss him even though Daniel is straight.
Dude, says Kwitch user ‘snakejh’, you’re bisexual. Time to face the truth, man.
EP.5: Pocky Day Special Mass Collab Stream
The craziest thing is, if you asked Daniel if he liked men two hours ago, he would’ve said no. But now, after being baited by his chat - Kwitch users ‘snakejh’ and ‘hudsun’ in particular - into watching and reviewing reels and reels of recommended ‘hot’ men dancing and posing and working out, he’s not sure anymore.
He does still like girls. That much is certain, and will always be certain. But apparently, Daniel has developed a thing for bleached blond basketballers with full lips and smouldering charisma with a side of cute. It’s the worst! Because Zoe had given him Jay’s number (at Jay’s request), and Daniel knows Jay watches his streams and is a hardcore fan of King Daniel, there’s absolutely no way Daniel can just text him like “hey! I think you made me gay! Take responsibility!”
He asks Zoe about it very vaguely, pretending it’s a friend’s problem and not his own, but she guesses it’s about him after the first text and proceeds to absolutely demolish his fragile ego by saying “yeah, you vibe like the kind of guy to let your girlfriend peg you, so I’m not really that surprised. No offence.”
She’s not even wrong! He would, unironically, get on all fours for a hot girl who could boss him around. But the thought of being manhandled by someone like Jay… If Jay was a girl, Daniel would do it in a flash, no questions asked. But with Jay as he is… the thought of it brings a shiver to Daniel’s spine, making him flush deeply and feel an urgent need for a private trip to the toilet.
So Daniel’s next tactic is to friendzone Jay.
Surely Daniel’s traitor brain wouldn’t consider Jay date material if he’s Just A Friend, right? Daniel texts Jay first, because that’s what he absolutely does not do when he has crushes.
Jay turns out to be hilarious over text. Daniel is semi-horrified to realise his plan had backfired so badly, he and Jay now have chemistry and are getting along as well as Daniel does with Zack, a self-proclaimed ‘BoxToker’ who is also Daniel’s closest friend alongside Zoe and Vasco.
Jay Hong has no right making Daniel kick his feet and giggle at every text. Daniel has never even giggled in his life! Giggling is a cringe teenage-girl thing, and Daniel is a whole adult man!
Oh dear god, Jay has managed to perfectly reduce him into - oh god, please don’t make him say it - a teenage girl with a crush. He’s acting worse than middle school Zoe, and she was the giggliest .
It’s the silent guy rizz, Zoe explains unhelpfully. She also says some equally unhelpful things about Daniel’s love life, or lack thereof, which Daniel would very much like to reach through the screen and smack her for. BTW it’s pocky day tomorrow, she adds, join my totsu pocky challenge.
It’s not even a request. How bad can Pocky even be?
It’s not even that bad. Daniel does it with a few of Zoe’s fellow beauty streamers, including Rumi, who turns out to be close friends with Hobin. She giggles when she hears about Daniel and Hobin’s good ol’ days of bonding over going from losers who were bullied, to successful streamers who gave no shits about their bullies anymore. He and Rumi get close enough to Zoe’s pre-set goal before Rumi’s very threatening boyfriend clears his throat, an even more threatening expression on his face. Yikes.
Doing the Pocky challenge is mostly fine, because pretty much all of Zoe’s friends are girls so limits are very obviously set, and Daniel is the only guy-
Not anymore, apparently. Look who just arrived fashionably late.
Zoe nudges Daniel deviously, handing him a Pocky stick. “If you do it with him and get this much left of your Pocky stick without screaming your head off about it being gay, I’ll treat you to lunch at that fancy place you said you wanted to go.”
Zoe spending money on Daniel is rare. But her conditions… “Your fingers are literally touching. And that’s gay,” Daniel can’t help but say, because it is gay, not just gay, but maybe actually Gay with a capital G. And how gay even is he, really? Isn’t it probably less than fifty percent? Not enough to be Gay?
Zoe raises an eyebrow. “Oh, so you’re turning down my offer for free lunch? That’s not the Daniel I know, but okay.”
Daniel does not have a crush on Jay, he’ll swear on his Kwitch account, but he still flips her the bird before snatching the Pocky stick out of her hand. Damn that girl and her uncanny ability to put Daniel in positions of immense shame.
Daniel walks up to Jay with a lot more confidence than he actually feels. Jay’s eyes widen when Daniel threateningly jabs the Pocky stick at him.
“Yes,” Daniel mutters. “You. Me. We’re doing this.” Daniel is just in it for the food. That is all he’s looking forward to.
“One centimetre!” Zoe crows from behind the camera. “You got this, babes?”
Jay’s eyes are still wide under his bangs, and he flails wildly.
“Huh? Do I wanna bite, or do I want you to do it?” Daniel hums. “You do it.” He doesn’t trust himself not to chicken out and run away, or worst case scenario, he ends up actually accidentally kissing Jay.
Daniel holds the Pocky between his teeth. Everything is fine. Everything will be fine.
He almost bites down out of shock when Jay cups his cheek to hold him still. Jay’s palms are larger than Daniel’s, callused although his fingers are long and elegant. Daniel’s eyelids flutter shut. Jay’s breathing is gentle, careful not to make Daiel feel disgusted at the air fanning across his face. Jay gets closer, bite by bite, and when Daniel squeezes his eyes shut so their eyelashes don’t brush across each other like a kiss, Jay strokes his cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Daniel dares to open one eyelid, just a crack, and the sight that greets him makes him squeeze it shut again. Jay is so close. They’re closer than the kabedon challenge, close enough for Jay to need to tilt his head slightly so their noses don’t bump.
Once again, Daniel finds himself thinking: come on, Jay, kiss me .
Jay’s thumb grazes his cheekbone once more, and Daniel exhales heavily through his nose when he hears the familiar muffled crunch of Pocky. Jay eases away, most of the chocolatey side being chewed up.
Jay taps his cheek until he opens his eyes. Bite.
Daniel does, and the blond catches their falling Pocky in the palm of his hand, holding it out for Zoe to measure. Zoe whips out her trusty mini-ruler and shrieks. “How is it exactly one centimetre?!”
Jay grins smugly. He makes eye contact with Daniel, and they share a moment of silent, triumphant delight. If Daniel was braver, he might’ve suggested that Jay could leave no centimetres of Pocky between their lips next time.
But he’s not that shameless, not that confident in his current heterosexual – bisexual, bicurious, whatever – status, so the only thing he says is “nice job, man.”
Cringe.
Daniel isn’t sure if he’s just seeing things, or if Jay’s bright smile really dims just a bit after hearing that. Because even if Jay is gay, and he could successfully turn Daniel queer (which he probably has), Jay is still, at the very least, miles out of Daniel’s league. Even if Daniel does want something more permanent than just a kiss to sate his inexplicable hunger, which he can’t bring himself to think seriously about, they’d look peculiar next to each other, like a prince and a potato.
There’s no guarantee Jay’s interested in him beyond flirting anyway.
So Daniel avoids Jay, playing the Pocky game with people that are definitely not blond or male and wondering why he doesn’t get the same kick he did when he and Jay were nose to nose, their lips close enough to touch. Jay seems to disappear into the crowd like he knows Daniel is avoiding him, and even when Daniel dares to try to find him in the crowd, just to feel his heart race at the sight of long blond bangs and a mysterious smile, Jay is nowhere to be seen.
Daniel leaves early enough for Zoe to frown at him. She doesn’t understand the frustration rolling inside him - irritation at Jay for making Daniel question everything he thought he knew, and angry at himself for going along with it until he’s changed so much he doesn’t even recognize himself sometimes.
If he looked back, he would’ve seen Jay gazing at his retreating form forlornly, and scowling at everyone who came close.
BONUS EP: Joy Hong’s Christmas Bash!
Mariah Carey is slowly defrosting in the shopping mall playlists, which can only mean two things - the most obvious one, Christmas is crawling over; and two, it’s that time of year when Daniel struggles to buy presents.
Before becoming a streamer, Daniel had no friends to buy gifts for anyway. A while after he met Zoe and Vasco and Zack and started his Kwitch career, he’d been too broke. Now, he has too many friends and too many acquaintances and no idea what to buy for who. His close friends mean too much to deserve generic gifts like scented highlighters, so when Daniel goes out to buy them all meaningful gifts, he’s usually near tears by the end because his shopping bags are full and his wallet is empty.
This year, he has the added problem of Jay. They’ve texted each other every day for almost a month now. Daniel doesn’t actively avoid him anymore, but it’s not like they actively meet up or anything either. Are they friends? Acquaintances? Or if Zoe and Zack’s analyses of their chat history is correct, are they actually in a situationship that could become a relationship if either one of them grew an actual set of balls?
Alright, they talk too much for Jay to be an acquaintance, and even King Daniel’s most loyal viewers ‘asdfj’, ‘snakejh’ and ‘hudsun’ insist Daniel and Jay are close enough to buy each other Christmas presents, so for now let’s just say they’re friends.
So the problem now is: what the fuck do you buy a guy who’s already got everything money can buy, and is probably rich enough to consider the cost of your black-market-sold organs petty change? Daniel could sell his entire ASMR set up and it still wouldn’t cover the cost of a single ring on Jay’s finger.
And then Daniel finds it - the perfect gift for Jay. It feels strange for a man in his mid-twenties to buy another same-aged man a soft-toy, but the golden retriever plush is cheap, insanely soft and fluffy, and reminds Daniel of Jay. They’re so similar in looks and in vibes, it’s not even funny anymore. Daniel can’t resist squishing the plush’s cheeks out of cuteness aggression and imagining it was Jay instead. He can literally imagine the expression Jay would make if Daniel squished his cheeks: that half clueless, half protesting smile he makes whenever Daniel tries to convince him that he really doesn’t need to replace his shitty, half-broken phone; that puppy-like cuteness, good lord…
Daniel might be, in Zoe’s words, ‘just a little down bad’.
(She said "you're down horrendous", but the meaning is the same, right?)
Since Jay’s little sister Joy has invited Daniel (and at least - at least! - thirty other people) to her Christmas party (hosted at Jay’s massive penthouse, because… because why, again? Joy, it’s not even your penthouse! Jay’s not even a streamer!) Daniel thinks he probably has to get her some kind of gift too. He knows she likes cute and girly things from what Jay and Zoe have told him, so he ends up getting her a poodle plush with a bow. It’s cute, but not as cute as Jay.
Jay’s dog plush, Daniel means.
When Christmas Day, and by default the day of Joy Hong’s party, finally arrives, Daniel makes his way to Jay’s penthouse, arms laden with gift bags. He enters just in time for Joy to greet him at the door, and Zoe to shout: “Mistletoe!”
Daniel looks up - sure enough, there’s a sprig of mistletoe hanging above his head. Joy grins at him, her eyes sparkling. She and Zoe are wearing cute little matching Santa dresses and hats. “Well, Danny, aren’t you going to give me a kiss?”
Daniel rolls his eyes, offering her a gallant kiss on the back of her hand. “There you go. A kiss.”
Joy pouts. “Aw, spoilsport. Nice to have you here, though! I think Oppa is… uh… I don’t see him, I guess if he’s not lost in the crowd he must be hiding in his room with one of his expensive drinks like a little coward. Ya! Oppa! Where are you? Daniel’s here!”
Daniel watches her prance off, her hat on the verge of falling off. He’s not sure who exactly she’s talking to when she shouts “Oppa, I got a kiss from Daniel~” across the room.
He chats to Zoe, gets caught under the mistletoe again , and kisses her cheek, which makes her giggle. Apparently, she and Joy put mistletoe everywhere and are secretly filming the chaos.
Daniel gets caught with Zack (he kisses Daniel on the nose, his girlfriend Mira made him do it), then Vasco (he pecks Daniel’s forehead and makes Daniel squawk because of all the stubble, then laughs and offers Daniel a headband with reindeer antlers), Vin Jin (he tries to run away screaming, but his K-pop cover-artist friend Mary shoves them together and they accidentally kiss for real, which makes both of them run away screaming), and other people he doesn’t entirely recognize. Usually, he just alternates between cheek, hand, forehead kisses and the occasional scream of “Ew!!!!!”
(Not “ew” as in “that’s gross, that’s gay”, but “ew” as in “you’re gross, if I had to choose between kissing you and killing myself, I’d jump out the window”. That’s what Daniel thinks about Vin Jin, by the way. Zack barely managed to stand still for long enough before wiping his mouth and the tip of Daniel’s behind Mira’s back.)
Of course, after all his other gift exchanges are done, Daniel starts his proper hunt for Jay. Of course , Joy and Zoe deliberately move them to stand under the mistletoe. Daniel gulps, looking up at Jay from under his lashes. Jay is gorgeous like this, slightly flushed from the expensive wine he’d been drinking instead of Zoe’s shitty beer. He hasn’t taken off his coat despite the excellent heating system, but the first two buttons of his dress shirt underneath have come undone. Daniel wants to touch him so bad it kind of hurts. “So, I guess this means we have to kiss, huh?”
Daniel doesn’t move.
Jay inhales, exhales, inhales, exhales, and just before Daniel bursts into hysterical giggles and calls it a joke so he can back off and flee, Jay grabs Daniel by the collar and kisses him.
It’s not a gentle kiss, with Jay fiercely mashing his mouth against Daniel’s and Daniel grabbing the lapels of Jay’s coat to stop his knees from buckling. He’s been pulled onto his tiptoes, his head tilted up and Jay’s head turned down to meet him. They’re both breathless and wide-eyed at the intensity when Jay pulls away.
“Fuck,” gasps Daniel, his brain probably melting out of his ears, “I think you made me gay.”
Jay laughs softly and kisses him again, again, and again, until they’ve forgotten they’re not the only ones around. Zoe hoots, and they jump away from each other. Daniel’s lips are still tingling. Jay’s entire face is red.
“Jay, you madlad,” shouts Zoe, “you did it!”
Jay somehow reddens even more at her words, hiding behind his new golden retriever plush. A voice in Daniel’s head is wailing: he’s so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee!
“Oppa,” Joy shrieks, “finally!”
Jay makes a noise like he’s dying, and Daniel laughs until he chokes. “Yah, Jay, I thought you were just a fanboy! And the whole time, you actually like- like me? I thought I was going crazy!”
Jay nods, then guiltily hands Daniel his phone with the Kwitch app open. Daniel squints at the screen. It’s the profile of Kwitch user ‘asdfj’, but it’s editable, which only makes Daniel wheeze harder.
“When you said you watched my streams, I didn’t expect you to be obsessed with me.”
Jay makes an attempt at bolting, before remembering they’re in his bedroom and this is his house and there’s literally nowhere for him to hide.
“But it’s okay,” Daniel coos, grinning up at the blond as his hands wander to finally hold that plump rear, “I like you too. You’re cute- oh! Mm~!”
They kiss again, frantic with Jay’s years of pining and Daniel’s recent pent up state and Jay licking into Daniel’s mouth like he can’t get enough of the taste, until Zack accidentally wanders in and faints at the sight.
It’s okay. They have plenty of time to kiss (and maybe do more than just kiss) later.