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Obito was running a routine courier mission, happily using it as a vacation with the help of Kamui. Currently, he was relaxing in an onsen, a towel placed over his eyes. Nearby, he could hear four men talking shit about women. On any other day, Obito might punch them, but Minato had warned him that the next time he got himself into trouble for fighting in another country, Konoha would not help him. So, instead, Obito did his best to ignore them.
“I’m definitely going.” Obito’s ears perked. Maybe this was something he could do while on the mission? He still had three days to kill, after all. Regardless of the men’s shit takes, they might have some not-bad opinions on leisure activities.
“Where’s it at?”
“You know that old fuck that lives in the mansion about a mile north? It’ll be on his estate tomorrow afternoon.”
“I can’t believe they managed to capture one… they’re the stuff of legends!”
“I can’t believe you’re dumb enough to believe it.”
“You’re the one going.” Obito had never heard a middle-aged man sound so petulant. He would be right at home next to the Academy students.
“Yeah, to see what they’ve done! They’ve probably got something pretty convincing, at least. Prolly just hired one of those shinobi to do their mind-fuckery.”
Obito tuned them back out, considering his options. On the one hand, if it was just a shinobi, Obito didn’t particularly care, since he could easily see through henge and genjutsu. However, he’d seen some interesting civilian displays in the past.
“—ing your wife?”
“Fuck no! I’m bringing that sweet tailor’s daughter. She’s got the most fucking delicious rack—”
What Minato didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Obito would just have to not get caught.
The mansion was honestly kind of hideous. Obito wrinkled his nose at the delusions of grandeur. He was ninety percent certain that half of the portraits were of the man himself. He was also receiving some pretty disdainful looks in his shinobi gear. Not that he fucking cared, but it was interesting. Normally, civilians were pretty curious about shinobi, and Obito had slept with more than a few women who were into it.
The small crowd—turned out you needed an invite, Obito had acquired one from the trash husband—were led into a basement, and Obito shuddered at the sudden temperature drop. He furrowed his brows when he began to hear the splashing of water. Please, tell him this wasn’t going to be a mass murder wherein they drowned them?
Okay, that was pretty ridiculous, and likely something that would’ve gotten him an unimpressed look from Kakashi.
As they rounded the corner, Obito’s eyes widened, and he heard more than a few gasps from the civilians around him. Rightfully fucking so. Because that was a fucking mermaid.
Obito squinted.
Merman? Ah, who gave a shit? A fish-person!
They were beautiful, with silver hair styled into an undercut, and a long, silver tail that faded to black to match it. In the dim lighting of the room, they seemed to glow. Obito allowed his Sharingan to activate, convinced this had to be a genjutsu.
Because fish-people didn’t fucking exist!
He could see sharp claws tipping their fingers, colored a deep black that matched the tip of their tail. Gills ran down where ribs would be on a normal human, and, when they opened their mouth and fucking hissed, Obito could see razor-sharp teeth.
Obito’s gaze stopped on their face, taking in the all-black eye that lacked a white sclera, and wasn’t that just terrifying, and—
“Kakashi?!”
The fish-person whipped to face him and fuck.
Shit.
That was Kakashi. That was Kakashi who some attendant was slinging a slip lead onto and pulling. Obito watched in horror as Kakashi scrabbled to loosen it, snarl filling his expression. It was a bit of a relief when Kakashi gripped the thing and yanked, pulling the attendant into the water with him and ripping them to shreds.
Obito probably shouldn’t find that as hot as he did, but here they were.
The tank was rushed by a slew of other attendants, all rightfully terrified of getting close. But the old, fat fucker sitting nearby was still barking orders and threats. The man stood in a hurry when Kakashi slammed into the side of the tank, causing it to crack. Kakashi slammed again, and this time, Obito sprung into action.
“Kakashi, wait—”
Again, and the glass shattered. Obito took the opportunity in the mayhem to kill off any attendants attempting to recapture Kakashi.
Kakashi, despite having an entirely new appendage, seemed to be doing just fine. The bastard. Obito watched as he electrocuted one of the soaked attendants, a vicious grin on his face. He couldn’t help the shudder that went down his spine at the sight of that terrifying grin.
Obito stalked toward the old man, twirling a kunai and chuckling when he tried to scurry behind his chair.
“Who–Who hired you? I can pay you double! I’m sure that’s worth it—”
“Oh, you think someone hired me to kill you?”
“Y–Yes?”
Obito couldn’t help the way he leaned close, an insane grin on his face. “Nah, I’m killing you because I want to.” He didn’t miss the fact that Kakashi’s hair had been cut, and he knew how his teammate felt about other people coming close to him with sharp objects.
“No, please! How much do you want? I can—”
“Shhhh.” Obito placed a finger over the man’s lips, snickering at the way he fell silent. “No, you don’t seem to understand.” He tilted so that Kakashi was visible—still gleefully ripping into the attendants. “That person? That’s my best friend. And you kidnapped him.”
“I–I didn’t—”
“Does it matter?”
“P–Please—” Obito struck out with the kunai, and the man fell silent.
Obito stood, wiping the blood from his cheek, and grimaced. He didn’t want any of that man’s body matter on him. Who knew where he’d been?
The room was now eerily silent. When Obito turned around, he found Kakashi poking curiously at one of the attendants that Obito had killed. He seemed interested in the cut wound, tilting his head in interest.
“Come on, Bakashi, you’ve seen a slice wound before.”
Kakashi looked up at him, blinking slowly.
Obito took a second to process what he was seeing before panic set in. “Oh fuck! Oh shit! You broke your tank! Can you even breathe right now? Are you dying? Is there any water nearby? We’ve gotta—”
Kakashi’s head tilted again, looking at him like he didn’t understand him. He opened his mouth, revealing those truly horrifying teeth, and chirped.
Fuuuuuuck.
“Okay, okay. This is fine.” Obito hurried forward. “You seem fine, anyway?” He quickly scanned Kakashi’s body, resolutely ignoring the way his face heated at the sight of so much skin from a man who was normally covered from the nose down. His gaze latched onto the gills, which seemed… closed?
“Oh, thank fucking god.” Obito collapsed on the floor, not even caring about the way the water that had spread everywhere soaked his ass. Kakashi looked at him in concern, a low warble escaping him.
It was really cute.
“You’re kind of adorable like this, you know?” Obito said, taking great joy in the way Kakashi just continued to look at him in confusion. “You can’t even yell at me!”
Wait. “You know your name, right?”
A trill as Kakashi started to ignore him, poking at the dead man again.
“Kakashi?”
Kakashi’s attention snapped back to him, that single black eye wide and oddly expressive despite the lack of sclera.
***
“That’s a relief.” Obito allowed himself to think about what the fuck he was going to do. Kakashi continued to poke at the man, before quickly ripping a chunk free and stuffing it into his mouth. Obito lurched forward to stop him, only to be on the receiving end of an innocently confused stare. He stared into a singular dark eye before releasing Kakashi’s wrist with a huff. “Fine, whatever. I hope you remember all of this when you’re conscious again.”
A chirp that sounded distinctly happy as Kakashi dug into his meal. Obito forced himself to look away lest he puke.
“Well, we’ve gotta get you back to Konoha…”
A content warble sounded and Obito turned back to find Kakashi licking his fingers. If he ignored what, exactly, he was licking off, Obito could find it in himself to admit that he stared at his tongue for a bit too long.
***
“Alright.” Obito scooped Kakashi up, ignoring the startled chirp that escaped the man—merman?—as he tried to adjust for the fucking tail. No matter what he did, it seemed that the fin was going to drag on the ground. He glared at the appendage, trying to figure out what to do.
Kakashi solved it for him, somehow maneuvering himself to Obito’s back—Obito had flashbacks to a spar that ended with Kakashi’s thighs wrapped around his head, Obito was glad that Kakashi hadn’t noticed his reaction, then—and threw his arms around Obito’s neck, tail wrapping around his torso. Are there no bones in that thing?
“Oh. That’s more flexible than I was expecting.”
Kakashi’s head nudged into his own, and Obito just about cooed when a low purr-like noise escaped him.
“You’re so fucking cute right now. Why can’t you always be like this?” Obito tested his range of movement. Not great, thanks to the tail, but enough that he can move. “Let’s go home, I guess.”
Obito sighed when he only received a chirp in return.
It was a simple matter to use Kamui and deliver the package and return it directly to Konoha, right in the Hokage’s office. There was another shinobi in there, but Obito thought his situation of being lovingly picked at by a human-turned-merman Kakashi took precedence. He’d tucked his hands under Kakashi’s tail to keep him from slipping and thus was forced to ignore the way he could feel Kakashi… grooming him.
What the fuck was his life?
“Sensei,” Obito gave a small bow of his head so as to not dislodge Kakashi’s fingers.
“Obito, I’ve told you multiple ti—” Minato finally turned to look at him and did a double take. “You. Out,” he ordered the other shinobi, who hurried to comply, though Obito could see the way they kept staring at Kakashi on the way out.
They stood in awkward silence, only Kakashi’s soft chirrups and low purring filling the space as he used those dangerously sharp claws to pick at Obito’s hair. Obito didn’t even want to know how his hair must look right now.
“Obito. Please, tell me that’s not Kakashi?”
“Um…”
“What happened?” Minato hurried forward, and Obito noticed that he seemed to be resolutely ignoring Kakashi’s tail.
Kakashi hissed and lashed out with his claws, and only Minato’s infamous speed saved him from losing an eye.
Obito blinked at Minato, staring in shock. Minato was gaping, and he didn’t miss the flash of hurt that showed on his features. “Well. It seems that he doesn’t recognize people.”
“What? No, he definitely does.”
“Obito. If he did, that means he just attacked his sensei.”
“But…” Obito turned his neck, and Kakashi must have been able to tell what he was trying to do because he maneuvered himself to be propped in such a way that made him tower over Obito and lean forward. He chirped eagerly, a grin on his features. “Kakashi?”
A low trill, and for the first time Obito realized that Kakashi’s ears were different, almost looking more like fins than ears, and they wiggled as Obito spoke.
“He seems to recognize his name, at least,” Minato said dryly. Obito snapped his attention back to him. Minato scrubbed a hand down his face, clear worry and just a slight bit of hysteria visible. “Report.”
Obito did so, not missing the way Minato sighed longsufferingly at the news that he’d be receiving a bill from the onsen for the destruction of property. However, as he continued to listen, his gaze darkened, fingers tightening.
“Sensei, what mission was Kakashi running? What on earth could possibly cause this?”
Kakashi chirped at the sound of his name, poking at Obito’s cheek curiously. Obito couldn’t help but reluctantly smile.
Minato’s expression was severe. “He was investigating a smuggling ring, known for trafficking both people and animals.”
Obito scowled. “He wouldn’t have gotten caught by some simple smugglers.”
“No, he wouldn’t. So, while we try and figure out what is going on with him, I’m going to send an ANBU team to comb through that man’s mansion. There’s probably something there.” Minato sighed. “Meanwhile, I’m going to have Rin take a look at him. Maybe she can figure out what… he needs. Jiraiya-sensei, too. He might be able to figure out what caused this.”
“So, should I just take him to the hospital?”
“Yes. Just… go directly to one of the rooms. No need to make him a spectacle.”
Obito knew his glare darkened dangerously by the way the ANBU hidden in the shadows shifted. “Yes, sensei.” With that, he used Kamui to leave.
Kakashi did not like the hospital. Or, rather, he seemed to despise being left alone. When Obito had tried to grab something to eat, Kakashi latched on, making low warbling noises that sounded distinctly pleading. Obito froze, thinking back to all of the times Kakashi had snuck out of the place, only to end up at either Minato, Rin, or Obito’s house. More frequently, Obito knew that Kakashi had been hiding out in Obito’s house because Minato and Rin would make him go back to the hospital.
Obito looked at the pleading attachment to his arm, tail wrapped around his leg. He could easily escape, but the singular dark eye seemed to be filling with tears.
Obito had never known what to do when Kakashi cried, because it happened so rarely. And, if it did, Obito seldom saw it—just the aftermath.
“You’re an idiot,” he said affectionately before crouching to allow Kakashi to climb on. “Come on, let’s go get some food.”
Turned out, Kakashi was very much a carnivore in this… form. The teeth should’ve been a dead giveaway, but no one had ever accused Obito of being particularly smart. That was his current leech’s purview.
Obito watched as Kakashi glared in offense at the bowl of fruit that Obito had procured. He’d offered one to Kakashi when he’d seen him eyeing the food, and Kakashi, after observing Obito eat some, took a bite before quickly spitting it out.
With a sigh, Obito pried Kakashi off of him, ignoring the rather heart-wrenching squeaks of distress, before he used Kamui to appear at the butcher’s shop. The woman jumped but quickly relaxed after noticing him. Konoha had long since gotten used to Obito just appearing in places.
“What do you need, boy?” she demanded, chopping the head off a chicken.
“I need raw meat. As fresh as you’ve got.”
The lady paused. “What kind? Fish? Chicken? Beef?”
Obito considered, glancing toward the back of the shop. “Give me all of them.”
“Right away.”
When Obito reappeared in the hospital room, it was to the sound of a repeated, prolonged trill. He could hear the distress in the way it wavered. Kakashi was not on the bed, where Obito had left him, but instead tucked between the empty wardrobe and the corner.
“Kakashi?”
He barely had time to react before he was tangled in a lunging embrace, nearly tripping over the tail that wrapped around his legs. Low chirrups sounded in his ears as Kakashi aggressively rubbed his cheek against Obito’s own. Obito sputtered as silver hair got into his mouth.
“Woah, Kakashi—”
Kakashi screeched as Obito tried to remove him. Obito’s ears were ringing now. Fantastic.
“Okay, okay.” Obito scowled as he shuffled toward the bed, flopping down and finally causing Kakashi to loosen his grip, sure that Obito wasn’t about to leave again. Obito shoved the bag in front of Kakashi. “Food.”
Kakashi sniffed at the bag before his expression lit up and he was once again chirping.
“If only you were normally this easy to please,” Obito muttered, but unable to help the fond smile that took over his features. He watched Kakashi tear through the meat, those vicious teeth shredding through the tough meal. Leaning back, he popped another piece of fruit into his mouth, the loud pop of the skin breaking an odd match with the wet squelch of the meat.
The door slid open, causing Kakashi to hiss and wind himself around Obito. Obito watched in despair as his fruit bowl tumbled to the floor, rolling away and finally stopping once it hit the new person’s feet.
“Oh,” Rin gasped. “I see why Minato-sensei said I had to see for myself…”
Obito grumbled as he tried to loosen Kakashi’s grip. “Come on, Bakashi, you’re strangling me here.” Kakashi’s arms only tightened—had he always been this strong? Obito gave up, allowing his arms to flop back to his sides as he gave Rin a pleading look.
Rin giggled, but approached with her hands clearly visible, slowly shuffling forward so as to not startle Kakashi. The noises he was making were raising the hairs on the back of Obito’s neck. Deep, visceral hisses and growls that spoke of danger. Rin paused when they somehow managed to get louder and took a few steps back.
Obito was stunned. Kakashi didn’t like Rin? Everybody liked Rin! Even if Obito was slightly biased due to the crush he’d had on her for most of his formative years, he’d seen evidence of it with his own two eyes! Even that annoying bastard Hiashi was—and Obito couldn’t believe this was even a thought that graced the sanctity of his mind—nice to her. Even nicer than he was to his own daughters, which wasn’t saying much, but it was still an accomplishment.
And yet the hair-raising hissing didn’t abate.
Standing slowly, Obito gave Kakashi plenty of time to readjust his grip. Kakashi made a small, confused warble before settling. Obito shuffled toward Rin slowly, and it seemed to be working better. While Kakashi still tensed from his position on Obito’s back, there was no hissing or defensive posturing. Rin gave Kakashi an easy grin, though that didn’t seem to soothe him.
“See? I told you he liked you.” Rin was far too amused by this situation.
“Rin, please.”
“Oh, come on, Obito—”
“He doesn’t like me like that. I think he has a weird sense of protectiveness after I saved him.” Obito thought for a moment. “Though, honestly, he was pretty much ready to save himself. He’s much scarier when he takes joy in killing people.”
Rin raised her brows as she slowly placed glowing green hands on Kakashi’s arms. Obtio hurried to pet Kakashi’s sides when he jolted and hissed.
“Hush, you. She’s just helping.”
Another hiss.
“Kakashi.”
Kakashi flinched and made a low chirp, clearly confused by the sharp tone Obito took. But he stopped hissing, so Obito was counting it as a win. Even if he felt like a major dick for snapping at him when he was just scared and confused. However, surely he knew that Obito wouldn’t let someone hurt him?
Rin hummed thoughtfully. “His vitals seem fine, if a bit strange. But I honestly don’t know what would be considered normal for him. His heart rate is a bit slower than normal, and all of his systems seem to be functioning normally, but I can’t detect anything further without hooking him up to some equipment. I’m a bit concerned about the gills and lungs. Does he need water? Or will he be okay without it? And if he needs it, does he need saltwater or freshwater?” She pulled away scrubbing a hand down her face. “I almost wish mermaids weren’t a myth. Maybe then I would know how to help him.”
“Hey, don’t you dare. You patch us up after missions enough. There’s nothing more you need to be doing.”
“I just wish I could be—”
“Rin. You’re the best medic in the damn village. You run the hospital. You have single-handedly wrestled the council into submission for more funding. What more could you even do without collapsing?”
Rin sighed, resigning herself to conceding the point. “Fine.” She looked sadly at Kakashi before a spark lit her eyes. “Wait. If I explained to you exactly what I needed you to do, do you think you could help me get some of his diagnostics?”
“Is that even allowed?”
“Probably not, but this is a strange situation and we need his vitals. Jiraiya-sama is supposed to be coming by, and he needs a basis to work with to ensure that, should there be a seal involved, it’s not hurting him. And that it won’t hurt him to remove it.”
“Okay.” Obito was not looking forward to this.
Obito never, ever wanted to hear Kakashi call him a crybaby again, because this was ridiculous. He had not stopped making distressed trilling noises ever since Rin got out the equipment to take his vitals. Obito didn’t know what to do. Because this reaction wasn’t normal. Kakashi complained about hospitals, but he would reluctantly submit to them. Was that a matter of him usually allowing his self-restraint and logic to reign in his reactions? And he just lacked those right now?
Or was this something more?
Obito really, really wished he’d made that old bastard suffer more.
Resigning himself, Obito waved Rin off when she tried to approach with the blood pressure cuff. “No. You can’t get anything worthwhile when he’s this worked up, right?”
Reluctantly, Rin nodded.
What the hell were they supposed to do here? How did one soothe someone who lacked higher cognitive abilities at the moment? Kakashi could clearly sense moods and gauge tones, but he also couldn’t quite seem to determine what was a threat and what wasn’t. In fact, the only person he seemed to truly respond to was Obito himself, and wasn’t that the most fucking insane thing Obito had ever heard?
“Kakashi, come on.” Obito wasn’t whining. No. He was just… gently complaining. Yep. No whining here.
A few successive chirrups were his response.
“Maybe try… petting him?” Rin suggested hesitantly.
“What the fuck? He’s not a pet!”
Rin slapped his shoulder, yanking her hand away when Kakashi hissed at her. Obito refused to admit he preened when Rin glared at him. “I didn’t mean it like that, you jerk. Just… he seems to like touch. He keeps trying to grab you again, and Minato-sensei told me he was practically grooming you.” Obito still hadn’t looked at his hair. He refused. “I’m just saying that it’s consistent with any other animal—human or otherwise—that thrives off physical contact. Grooming is a common bonding behavior. Has he done anything else?”
Obito thought about the way Kakashi practically attacked with with aggressive cuddling when he arrived from the butcher’s. “Yeah. He rubbed his cheek against mine and seemed to enjoy being carried around. Granted, that could just be because he can’t walk.”
“This is Kakashi, Obito. He could probably channel his inner Gai and hand-walk if he needed to.”
“That’s… true, I guess.”
“See what I mean, though? He likes touch. So… pet him.”
Obito grumbled. This just felt weird. Sure, Kakashi was acting almost feral, but he was still Kakashi.
God, he hoped Kakashi wouldn’t remember this when he was back to normal. Forget everything about wanting to embarrass him. This was too embarrassing for Obito. Kakashi would never let him live this down. And he’d definitely find a way to turn any teasing back on Obito, leaving him a flustered mess that couldn’t string two syllables together.
Obito, with a heavy exhale, gently began scratching at Kakashi’s hair, marveling at the shorter strands and allowing his fingertips to graze over the soft prickles of his undercut. Kakashi’s eyes immediately when half-lidded and low purrs escaped him.
“He’s like a big cat,” Rin said in clear amusement. “You always did have a strange affinity for them.”
“I guess,” Obito mumbled. He let Rin pass him the blood pressure cuff, slipping it easily up Kakashi’s arm with no resistance, even though Kakashi jolted a bit when it tightened. Obito just shifted his scratches to be behind Kakashi’s ears and he melted once again, leaning into Obito’s palm enough that he was sure that, should he remove his hand, Kakashi would topple from the bed.
“Great! Blood pressure is a bit lower than what would be considered healthy, but nothing too concerned since he seems mostly cognizant.” She noted something down on her clipboard. “Could you take this flashlight and look at his eyes for me?” Rin leaned closer as Obito shone the light in Kakashi’s eyes. Kakashi whined but didn’t fight too much, even with Rin’s proximity.
“I feel like I drugged him or something.”
“It’s just the endorphins. He’s fine.”
“If you say so.”
“Now for the blood drawing.”
Obito didn’t shout, but it was a near thing, “What? I can’t do that!”
“I don’t think you have to.” Rin gestured to Kakashi as if it proved her point and, honestly? It kind of did.
And Rin turned out to be right. Kakashi didn’t like being stuck with a needle, and Rin had a lot of difficulty finding a vein that would be good—Kakashi did not like the tourniquet—but he didn’t fight it.
“Great! That was pretty much everything we needed that I couldn’t get from the medical scan, but I’m not entirely sure if we’re missing anything. BMI would be pretty useless, considering the tail.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
“I’ll be back later with the results of his blood test. Just… keep him entertained, I guess. See you later, Obito.”
“Bye, Rin.” Obito watched her leave and lamented the loss of a true speaking partner. Not that Kakashi was normally very chatty, but this was on a whole other level.
Kakashi just chirped and rubbed his cheek against Obito’s own.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Another chirp.
“Fuck. I can’t believe I’d ever see the day where I’d say that I missed your lecturing. This is just uncomfortable.”
Kakashi chirped, and Obito wanted to cry.
Never mind, because he’d take Kakashi’s chirping over Jiraiya’s… everything.
“Fascinating,” Jiraiya murmured as he kept poking at Kakashi’s tail. Unlike Rin, the man had just barged forward regardless of Kakashi’s warning growls, and Kakashi, stunned, had warbled in shock and watched Jiraiya warily.
“It’s definitely a seal,” he concluded but continued to look at the changes to Kakashi’s body. Even Obito could feel himself growing defensive over Kakashi, so he couldn’t imagine how Kakashi was feeling. Was this how those poor women felt whenever Jiraiya peeped into the baths? “I have never seen a seal like this before, though. It’s clearly different than most forms, as I can see that it almost seems to draw on natural chakra to stay functioning. In other words, it’s more… permanent than most seals of this nature.”
“Permanent?” Obito resolutely ignored how high-pitched his voice was.
Jiraiya waved him off, seeming to squint at Kakashi’s scales. “Not in the sense that it’s irreversible, but in that the thing could theoretically function indefinitely. The changes to his body almost mimic Sage Mode, but without the need for him to draw on natural chakra himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if, after this ordeal, his body is more receptive to nature chakra and he finds himself capable of going into Sage Mode, himself.” Jiraiya grumbled, “Lucky bastard. He gets to skip all of the grueling training.”
Obito was almost dismayed by the fact that he agreed with Jiraiya. Kakashi really did have it easy when it came to learning new jutsu, even though Obito was the one with the Sharingan, and it seemed this would be no different. “So how are we gonna remove the seal?”
Jiraiya laughed, “We? No, it will just be I, the Legendary Sannin, Jiraiya of—”
“Can you do it?” Obitio cut in, not interested in the man’s boasting.
“No one lets me have any fun anymore,” Jiraiya muttered before straightening with a sigh. “Yes, I believe so. I will have to consult my scrolls and likely have Minato and Kushina look over my work. However, it shouldn’t be too bad. It may take some time, though.”
“Does he have to stay in the hospital?” Obito was wary of leaving Kakashi there when it was clear that he hated the hospital itself and being alone in one.
Jiraiya raised his hands in surrender. “I’m not a medic, don’t look at me. But it doesn’t seem like he’s in any danger.” He glanced toward Kakashi’s tail. “Maybe some water wouldn’t be remiss. Even if he doesn’t need it to breathe, his tail could dry out, and that would be painful.”
Obito nodded, that made sense. Jiraiya probably knew what he was talking about. Maybe he should talk to Rin? He’d need her permission to check Kakashi out, anyway.
“Thank you, Jiraiya-sama,” Obito bowed slightly.
“Don’t worry about it, kid. Anything for this brat,” Jiraiya ruffled Kakashi’s hair. Obito was shocked when Kakashi just hissed indignantly, not swiping out with his claws.
“How’d you do that?”
“Do what?”
“That!” Obito pointed to Kakashi’s hair.
Jiraiya just blinked. “He’s just scared. It’s like a cat. He just needs to be acclimated to people again.”
“If he’s scared, though, shouldn’t you respect that?”
“Exposure therapy, kid. It’s the most effective method of dealing with fears.”
“Oh.” Obito blinked at Kakashi, who was still glaring at Jiraiya, but wasn’t hissing anymore. His black eye was sharp with caution, but Obito thought he could see his shoulders losing their tension, and it totally wasn’t because Obito spent an inordinate amount of time staring at Kakashi. Nope.
“Well, I have to go report to Minato about this. I’ll see you later, kid.” Obito watched Jiraiya disappear out the window. When he turned to Kakashi, he saw him staring curiously at where Jiraiya had disappeared.
“Oh my god. He’s the one that taught you that!”
Kakash chirruped at him, tilting his head.
Obito groaned, “I’ve gotta teach you sign language or something.” He paused. “I don’t even know sign language!”
Obito signed Kakashi out of the hospital without any complications. According to Rin, his blood work came back fine, and she told him to just keep feeding Kakashi the raw meat since it’s clear that’s what his new diet was.
Now, Obito found himself with his hands on his hips, watching Kakashi lounge in an ice-cold bath. Rin told him that Kakashi probably shouldn’t get too hot, since he might be unable to regulate his temperature. Kakashi certainly seemed fine with the cold temperature, happily sagging into the tub even though he was way too big for it. The end of his tail—a shiny black—hung over the edge. Obito couldn’t help but trace the droplets that ran down his chest, fighting off activating his Sharingan only barely, with the thought that Kakashi might remember this holding him off.
“Do you normally like baths this much?”
A happy chirp as Kakashi propped himself up on the end of the tub, palms supporting his weight and making him look straight from the paintings of sirens luring men to their deaths.
Obito would happily waltz to his own death if Kakashi looked up at him like that.
Fuck. Shit. How is he gonna handle this? He caught himself tracing the lines of Kakashi’s biceps before he snapped his eyes away. With a groan, he turned and walked straight out of the bathroom. He heard Kakashi trilling in distress and picked up the pace.
As he was returning with one of his shirts, he heard a loud crash followed by another trill and hurried back.
In the bathroom, he found Kakashi sprawled on the floor, struggling to move in the cramped space. When he heard Obito, he looked up and chirped rapidly. Obito snorted and crouched, scratching Kakashi’s hair and smiling when Kakashi calmed again.
With a grunt, he hefted Kakashi back into the tub, despairing as he looked at his soaked floor. “You’re such a little shit.”
Chirp.
Obito groaned and reached in to pull the plug. Kakashi watched the water disappear in confusion. He really was quite adorable like this. “Come on, we have to at least dry your top half off.”
Kakashi, seeing Obito reach for him and now familiar with the motion, reached up and wrapped his arms around Obito’s neck to help him. Obito lamented how much heavier Kakashi was like this, considering he had multiple feet added to his length. If he was able to stand upright, Obito would guess that Kakashi would tower over him.
It took Obito a while to wrestle Kakashi into a shirt since Kakashi no longer seemed to understand what that was. He’d chosen his softest nightshirt, worn in and threadbare so as to not irritate the area where Kakashi’s gills were. After he managed to wrangle Kakashi into it, he let out a sigh of relief. Now those delectable abs were hidden, and could no longer tempt Obito’s gaze. Because even though Kakashi couldn’t speak, he had to know what he was doing?
He opened his eyes and found Kakashi rubbing his cheek against Obito’s shirt and purring. Again.
Holy shit. It was his scent. How did Obito not think about that? Even normally, Obito was aware that Kakashi had a sensitive nose—it was one of the reasons he wore his mask all the time—so why would that change when he was a fish person? But then surely the others would smell nice to him? Did Kakashi not like the way they smelled normally? Or was this due to the fact that they were strangers to him?
Obito watched Kakashi shove his nose into the neck of the shirt. Did Kakashi always like his scent this much?
Woah. He shouldn’t be getting ahead of himself here. Kakashi didn’t even remember who Obito was. Much less whether or not he liked Obito.
Obito pouted, watching Kakashi practically bathe in his scent and purr in contentment. It wasn’t fair. Kakashi got to live in blissful ignorance of what he was doing to Obito, while Obito had to live with the fact that Kakashi didn’t really feel like this.
With a sigh, Obito pushed himself to his feet. “Well, come on then. It’s time for bed.”
Kakashi looked at him for a moment, before reaching his arms up and a soft, questioning chirrup left his mouth.
Obito immediately melted. “Fine, fine.”
He was so fucked.
Obito was woken up by Kakashi prodding at his cheek curiously, careful to not hurt Obito with his claws. When he opened his eyes, he found Kakashi looking at all of his scarring in interest, warbling in confusion.
“Oh,” Obito breathed a laugh. “I got them protecting you. They’re better than they look, don’t worry.” He smiled to try and reassure without words.
Obito’s scarring was mostly surface-level, and he received the worst damage to his arm, from the elbow down. He’d been subjected to an experimental jutsu to heal it and reconnect the nerves, and it’d worked out decently. He didn’t actually have much sensation in that part of his arm, but it was better than losing it entirely.
Kakashi warbled, clearly not understanding, but seemed to get that the scars didn’t both Obito. He wondered if Kakashi always felt guilty for them, or if this was just another case of him not remembering things.
Except for his name.
Why did he remember his name and nothing else?
Obito looked at Kakashi in consideration before, climbing out of bed with Kakashi hanging off of him. Kakashi chirped in annoyance as Obito just laughed at the way he hung from Obito’s waist. Narrowing his eye, Kakashi poked him harshly in the ribs.
“Ow! Hey!”
Kakashi chirped, and Obito could see a distinctly smug look in his eye.
“You’re such a bastard. You’re lucky I love you.”
Oh. Fuck.
Kakashi, thankfully, just continued to look at him with that same innocent stare. Obito held still while Kakashi scaled up his back, settling easily in his now-usual position. Obito was really, really hoping that Kakashi didn’t remember any of this shit when he was turned back to normal. He didn’t know how he’d face him if he did.
“Come on then. I have something I wanna test.”
Going to his small study-slash-library, Obito pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote something down:
Hello.
He tapped it and handed Kakashi the pencil. While Kakashi did have some webbing between his fingers, it ended at the second knuckle, so it shouldn’t get in the way.
Kakashi blinked at him for a moment before considering the pencil and then the paper. He stared, warbling slightly in confusion.
Obito deflated, shoulders drooping. Kakashi appeared to flinch slightly and rubbed his cheek frantically across Obito’s hair, letting out low croons and barely-there trills.
Obito straightened after a moment, brows furrowed. “What…?” Oh. Shit. He should’ve known. Kakashi, even in human form, didn’t respond well to criticism, talking it as a personal failing no matter if it was his fault or not. Obito had no idea how Kakashi could really tell he was disappointed—smell, maybe?—but it was clear that he could, and he was worried he’d upset Obito.
Obito reached back and patted Kakashi’s hair. “It’s fine. I was just hoping that you’d have some way to communicate…”
While teaching Kakashi how to write or perhaps even sign language would be useful, Obito didn’t even know how long he would have. What if he tried to do it only for Jiraiya to show up tomorrow with a way to fix him?
Obito listened to Kakashi’s low croons for a while longer. It was clear that each sound meant something different, but they weren’t varied, and Obito wouldn’t be able to discern specifics even if he memorized them. A distressed trill could mean Kakashi didn’t want him to leave, or it could mean he was in pain. Obito wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Kakashi probably could, if their situations were reversed.
Kakashi poked his cheek again, leaning into Obito’s space and blinking his large, black eye. Unfair that he was still beautiful, even like this.
“I’m so screwed,” Obito lamented.
Obito adapted to living with Kakashi surprisingly well. Not that Kakashi was all that difficult to take care of. If anything, he was like a more complicated plant. Obito plopped him into the tub every morning, let him rehydrate, fed him, and then just generally lazed around his house. He couldn’t exactly carry Kakashi around Konoha, and leaving the village was out of the question with those smugglers still running about. Kakashi certainly didn’t seem to mind the close quarters.
A few days in, Kakashi had learned that he could drag himself around the house by walking on his hands. The image was hilarious, and Kakashi had warbled at Obito when he’d fallen into hysterics the first time Kakashi did it. Since then, Kakashi had taken to ignoring him whenever Obito couldn’t help but laugh at him. He’d even seen Kakashi huff at him, scowling. So. He’d probably figured out that Obito was laughing at him. But he didn’t react further, and considering Kakashi could still easily gut him—or electrocute him, Obito hadn’t forgotten about that, no sir—Obito took that as permission to continue.
Kakashi had found Obito’s books and took to flipping through the ones that had pictures.
When Obito walked into his office-library, finding Kakashi warbling in concern at the Icha Icha series, he’d lost it. Obito still couldn’t look at Kakashi without laughing. Because he’d never thought he’d see the day that Kakashi turned down those god-awful books. Granted, poor Kakashi didn’t even really seem to understand the pictures, pointing and making low warbles, eye wide with worry.
Obito lost it again.
He supposed faces of pleasure did sometimes look like pain. And Kakashi certainly wouldn’t understand what sex was, right now.
Wait.
“No, Kakashi! Your innocent eyes!”
Kakashi had also made himself at home in Obito’s bedroom, no matter that Obito tried to get him to sleep in the guest room. He’d effectively turned Obito’s bed into a nest of blankets and pillows, and Obito wasn’t even aware that he’d had so many.
Some of those were definitely his shirts, but he didn’t dare try to move them. The one time he tried, Kakashi had cried, and Obito refused to do so again.
As long as Kakashi was still wearing a shirt, Obito could deal. He’d rather deal with sleeping in a makeshift nest. He wouldn’t live if Kakashi decided to add the shirts Obito was putting on him into the pile because that was just testing restraint that Obito didn’t have.
The butcher lady was growing concerned by how much meat Obito was buying, but he couldn’t exactly say, “Oh, I’ve got a fish person to feed at home.” He’d rather she think he was just eating ungodly amounts of meat than think he was insane.
Kakashi had an insane appetite like this. Obito would give him food, turn around to grab his own plate, and turn back to find that Kakashi had already finished everything.
He was gonna go broke at this rate, he lamented. He forked over more money to an ever-growing-concerned butcher and Kamui’d back home. Kakashi was already waiting for him, now content that Obito would come back. As long as Obito wasn’t gone for more than an hour, Kakashi was okay.
“Here, Bakashi. You’re gonna owe me so much money after this.”
Kakashi chirped and dug in, innocently oblivious to life’s hardships such as finances.
And, finally, Minato arrived with the solution. Obito was simultaneously relieved and reluctant. This Kakashi was perfectly willing to cuddle and show Obito affection. If Minato turned him back, Obito would lose that to the more prickly, aloof Kakashi.
Obito fell in love with the latter, of course, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss the easy cuddles.
“Are you sure that’ll work?” Obito asked, hoping his voice didn’t reveal his apprehension.
“Positive. It wasn’t so bad, in the end. We just had to—”
Obito tuned him out, knowing he wouldn’t understand it anyway, instead focusing on Kakashi, who was again lowly hissing at Minato as he approached. Thankfully, he didn’t lash out this time, allowing Minato to place the seal. Obito watched as it seemed like his tail… unraveled? That was the best way to describe it. Seals that he’d not noticed before—was that why the end was black—vanishing in a spiral formation, revealing Kakashi’s feet first, then his calves, then knees, thighs, groi—
Obito snapped his gaze away, flushing brightly and staring resolutely at his own ceiling. This was much more interesting than Kakashi’s—
Not. Thinking. About. It.
“Kakashi?” Minato asked warily, and Obito assumed that the seal finished its job, but still refused to look just in case Kakashi was still naked in nothing except Obito’s own shirt.
Maybe just a peek? A glimpse with his Sharingan—
“Maa… sorry for attacking you Minato-sensei.”
Oh fuck.
Kakashi remembered. Kakashi remembered. Obito wanted to die. Maybe he could ask Fugaku? No, one of the Uchiha elders. They’d never liked him, anyway—
“Thank you for taking care of me, Obito.”
Obito snapped his gaze down, eyes wide at the open vulnerability.
“I’m sorry for being a burden—”
“You weren’t,” Obito blurted, flushing bright red right alongside Kakashi.
And he smiled. Obito really hoped that wasn’t the sensation of his Sharingan activating, but based on Minato’s snicker, he assumed it was.
“Well, Kakashi, why don’t you borrow some of Obito’s clothes? Get dressed. And report in to me in an hour. We need your help with those smugglers.”
Kakashi’s face returned to his default neutral, and Obito had never been angrier at Minato than in that moment. “Yes, sensei. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
Minato left, and Obito didn’t know what to do. “I’ll, um, get your clothes!”
He bolted to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him and burying his hands in his hair.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” he whined. Dragging his hands roughly down his face, he snatched clothes from the nest on his bed, marched out, and threw them at Kakashi’s head. “Here. Get dressed. I have some medical masks in the bathroom that you can wear.”
Another soft “Thank you.” So much softer than Obito ever knew Kakashi to be.
“No problem,” Obito said gruffly.
After Kakashi was dressed, he called out “Obito?”
“Yeah?” he asked reluctantly, turning to find Kakashi still bare-faced, a medical mask dangling from his fingers. And Obito couldn’t stand it. He still retained the undercut, meaning those bastards had definitely cut it, and his eye was just as expressive. Had it always been so and Obito just never bothered to pay attention? There was a blush riding high on his face, and Obito realized he’d been staring for way too long to be socially acceptable. He cleared his throat. “What do you need?”
Kakashi quirked his lips. “Well. I seem to remember you saying you loved me.”
“I didn’t!” Obito blurted. “Or, well, I did, but I didn’t mean it like that—”
Oh. That. That was. That was pure devastation on Kakashi’s face before he carefully locked it away. Obito wanted to take it back—
“I see,” Kakashi said, voice neutral. “Right. I’m sorry for assuming.”
And he was gone.
Fuuuuuuck.
Obito didn’t see Kakashi for another week. After the first two days, he had to admit that Kakashi was avoiding him, because no matter where he looked, Kakashi wasn’t there.
It would turn out that he’d gone to hunt the smugglers down. One by one. With a brutal efficiency that had gotten him the Silver Fang name, taken after his father and a play on his Anbu Hound mask. They really were just normal smugglers, albeit with an above-average understanding of fuuinjutsu that allowed them to trap Kakashi.
Obito didn’t even care that he didn’t get to kill them himself. As long as Kakashi was safe from them. Besides, it was kinda hot to imagine Kakashi hunting them down himself.
Obito was visiting Rin for lunch, as she was babbling excitedly about their other teammate.
“Jiraiya-sama ended up being right, you know? Kakashi can use Sage Mode now—”
“Really?” Obito butted in, excited, before immediately deflating. “I… didn’t know.”
Rin hummed. “Yeah, I know he’s been avoiding you.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“Obito. My sweet child. Why do you think I was so adamant that he liked you?”
“Wait. You knew?!”
“Of course I knew!” Rin said in offense. “Believe it or not, Kakashi and I are actually good friends—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Rin leveled him with the driest look he’d ever seen. The Land of Wind had nothing on her. “Obito. I want you to think about what you just said. Slowly.”
Obito pouted, slouching low into his chair. “Point taken.”
“He still does, you know. He just never thought you’d like him.” She rolled her eyes with the emphasis. Obito wondered who she thought was unworthy of who, because it was definitely Obito. Kakashi was beautiful, and talented, and so smart—
Obito banged his head into the table. “Help me?”
“Why, Obito, I’m glad you asked.”
“Seriously?” Obito grumbled as Rin straightened his tie and shoved a bouquet of flowers into his hand.
“I know you probably don’t believe me, but Kakashi is actually very romantic. The cheesier the better.”
“He reads porn in public!”
“Obito. Sweet, darling Obito. He has said before that he reads it for the plot.
Obito gaped.
“He was serious!?”
Obito couldn’t believe that he was doing this. He looked up at Kakashi’s door, took a deep breath, and knocked. When the door opened, Obito immediately went into his spiel:
“Look, I know that I fucked up because I told you I didn’t love you. That was a lie. The biggest lie. I have been in love with you since we were teens and you single-handedly stabilized me enough to get me back to Konoha. By that point, I’d been falling out of love with Rin, seeing how she looked at you. And who wouldn’t look at you? You’re smart, funny, kind, and so fucking beautiful. I can’t believe—”
Obito took a deep breath, cutting off his tirade.
“I’m sorry. Will you please go out with me?” Obito thrust the flowers forward, bowing his head.
He heard a snort before the person fell into uncontrollable giggles. Obito’s stomach dropped.
Because that was Tenzo. Fuck his life.
“I mean—” Obito sputtered. “Oh my god… someone please just kill me now.”
“I would love to.” There it was. His voice. The best voice. Obito would kill someone for that voice. When he peaked up from under his lashes, he found Kakashi looking over Tenzo’s shoulder.
“Really?”
“Did you think I’d built a nest in anyone else’s bed?”
“Wait, senpai, what—”
“Um, well–”
“Obito. Please, don’t tell me you’re that oblivious.”
The silence spoke for itself.
“You’re lucky I love you,” Kakashi sighed, and Obito couldn’t help but smile.
“So do you really like my scent that much?” he teased. And, oh, that was a lovely blush that he could see peeking over the top of Kakahi’s mask. And he didn’t even fight the activation of his Sharingan this time.
“Shut up," Kakashi mumbled.
“Oh? Do you want—”
“Obito.”
Obito had never been so lucky in his fucking life, even as Kakashi leaped forward to try and clamp a hand over his mouth, embarrassment clear as he tried to explain to Tenzo.