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Eloise is standing near a door frame watching Penelope and her brother from a distance. She gave Penelope until the end of tonight’s festivities to tell her brother she was Lady Whistledown or else Eloise herself would do the honours.
The hall is full of people, bodies constantly moving in a swirl of limbs and fabric. Penelope glances back to Eloise, who gives her a pressing look, and then back to her now husband, whispering something into his ear. Together they head towards the exit and Eloise loses them out of sight for a moment. She is about to follow suit, when a light touch on her arm stops her.
“Eloise.” Cressida's sweet voice makes her turn and briefly forget the disappearing couple.
Cressida is beautiful under the soft candle light. She has - and Eloise couldn’t be more delighted - convinced her mama to leave the outrageously gigantic sleeves behind and is wearing a gown more reassembling of her first season out - attention grabbing yet classic. Uniquely her.
The fitted rose dress wraps perfectly around Miss Cowper’s body and Eloise steals a quick glance at the neckline before coming to her senses.
Cressida presents herself as a rather lovely but unwanted distraction, and Eloise does not have the time for that.
“Cressida, I am afraid I have to find Penelope and my brother to discuss an irritating matter.” She gives her new friend’s hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go. “But I’ll find you soon.”
She leaves Cressida behind before the other woman can muster a single word. Cressida's looks are distracting enough without her sweet voice to go with it. So she hurries out of the dancing hall to find Penelope and Colin before more thoughts of Miss Cowper's dress could plague her mind.
—---------------
She didn’t find Penelope nor Colin that night, but apparently nobody had.
After escaping to have their personal conversation, the couple disappeared from Eloise’s view completely. Gossip said both left separately.
The following day the Bridgerton estate was in complete chaos. Not a single person knew where Colin was, and Penelope had closed herself off from the world in her chambers.
Every Bridgerton spent the day trying to help somehow. Some consoling mama, others looking for Colin, and Eloise took on the responsibility of trying to get through to Penelope.
At the end of the day, with much sweat, it all went well for the Bridgertons. Eloise reconciled with Penelope, Colin was found, husband and wife spent hours locked away talking and, Eloise guessed, doing whatever husband and wife did. But she couldn’t care less for what happened between the pair. She was much more focused on what would come on the next day: Lady Whistledown’s final bow.
—---------------
That day, Eloise receives her Lady Whistledown from the woman herself.
“I hope you gave your best with this one, Pen.” She moves her eyes through the text giving it a once over.
“Me, too.” Her friend locks her arm with hers. “I tried to catch up with the gossip and give a good finale to the season.” They both laugh, but Eloise’s is cut short. She stops on her tracks.
“Eloise?” Pen turns to her friend nervously looking between Eloise and the slip of paper. “Did I write something you disapprove of?”
“I-” She once again reads what made her lose her footing.
“And it seems that amidst the festivities of the Bridgertons’ engagement ball, Lord Debling proposed to Cressida Cowper and the answer was yes! After the small wedding celebration the day after the proposal, it seems the Lord, now with his Lady, is ready to return to his estate in the countryside. This author only wishes the best to the newlyweds of the season.”
—---------------
Eloise arrives at the Cowper estate as fast as she can. She leaps out of the carriage and runs to the door. When knocking she notices another carriage waiting in front of the building.
After a moment the footman opens the door, “Miss Bridgerton.”
“Good morning, I would like to speak to Miss Cowper.” She makes her way inside not waiting for a welcome and makes a point of waiting at the foyer.
He is caught off guard, “Certainly. If you could just wait a moment.” He disappears into the house. Even at the entrance the house looks, and worse, feels like a mausoleum. Mere seconds waiting there pass through like hours.
She hears footsteps and the footman emerges followed by - a rather cross - Lord Cowper.
“Lady Bridgerton, I don’t think I’ve made myself clear to you, but I do not see in good light your friendship with my daughter and I would deeply appreciate if you-”
“With all respect, Lord Cowper.” She interrupts before he single-handedly forces her to leave. “I must insist on seeing your daughter. If rumours are to be true she has accepted Lord Deblig’s proposal and I only wish to say my farewells. As her friend.”
He approaches her with a tense jaw, “You will not change her mind.”
“Respectfully, if that were my goal I think I would've done that long ago.” She smiles dryly.
They stare at each other for a moment. He tenses his jaw even more. Their eyes seem to have an argument of their own.
Then he finally gives in with a hard smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “Say your goodbyes, Miss Bridgerton.” The smile drops completely from his face. “And be brief.” He spares one look at the footman as he walks away. “Lead her up.”
—---------------
“I think this is the last one.” Her mama says as she closes the last trunk. Normally the maids would be the ones to put away all of Cressida’s belongings while the Cowper women would only point and command. But Cressida insisted her mother do this with her. The idea of leaving everything behind to move in with a man she barely new was starting to grow a fear within her. It was as if she could burst into tears at any given moment and she much rather cry in front of her mama than her maids.
She slowly walks towards her dressing table where a hardcover book lays on top. The Complete Encyclopedia of Birds. Eloise had lent it to her and she didn’t have the opportunity to return it.
She moves her fingers over the cover while trying to fathom a reason for her friend to own a copy of such a book. A smile almost creeps on her lips, but she recalls her present situation and her brow furrows without her even intending it to.
“Cheer up, Cressida.” Her mother approaches her from behind and rests her hands on Cressida’s shoulder. “He’s a good man.”
“He is a good man, mama.” She breathes heavily. And walks away from her mother to stand by the curtained window. “That’s exactly the problem.” Blood rushes through her ears as soon as the words escape her mouth. Her parents promised to shelve this matter as long as Cressida stopped mingling too much with other girls and focused on getting a husband, but here she was bringing it up herself.
Honestly, she thought she would do just fine. After all, she was just being curious when her parents found her with a girl friend. They were barely teens, and it was just a kiss. Practice, they said. Ultimately, the feelings would stop, she would find a husband, marry him and eventually love him. She was determined. Until her friendship with Eloise started to bring back feelings she had promised herself never to feel again.
“He travels a lot, Cressida.” Her mama’s tense voice brings her back to the moment. “You’ll be mostly alone at the estate. That’s especially nice. Especially for someone like you.”
With that, Cressida looks back at her mother. Was that sympathy? Kindness? Sadness? Grief? She’s about to ask, when a knock on the door takes both women by surprise.
“Come in.”
The Cowper’s footman opens the door slightly.
“Excuse me, madams. Miss Bridgerton is here to see Lady Debling.” He looks at Cressida. Her new title being said by the footman with such ease, yet turning her skin inside out almost takes away the joy of hearing Eloise's name. She eyes her mother briefly. “The Lord has permitted.”
“Very well.” Lady Cowper signals to let Eloise in.
The footman leaves while Eloise enters the room. Her firm footsteps echo in the chamber, but they stop in their tracks as soon as she locates Cressida by the curtains. Eloise is breathtaking as ever, though slightly flustered, which makes Cressida's skin burn for unknown reasons.
Lady Cowper raises an eyebrow, “Miss Bridgerton, is this the time?”
“I wish only to say my goodbyes.” She holds Cressida's gaze. “It won’t take much time.”
“I do hope -.”
“Mama,” Cressida cuts in, “could you leave us alone for a moment?” She breaks the eye contact with Eloise to send a pleading look to her mother.
Lady Cowper looks at both before nodding and heading towards the door. “I’ll send the footman up to get the trunks.”
She leaves, closing the door behind her and the pair is left alone. Heavy silence fills the air for a moment while both women search for words in the other's gaze.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Eloise breaks the silence, maintaining her distance, her voice quiet and husky. It sends shivers down Cressida’s spine. “I had to read it on Whistledown for God’s sake.” The words are spoken with either hurt or anger, Cressida cannot make out which.
"Time was short," she starts, "How could I have possibly-"
"Cressida." Eloise pleads.
Her name on Eloise's lips is more than she can handle at the moment. She was ready to pass it off as unimportant. As if telling Eloise didn't even cross her mind. It would be easier at this moment to pretend that the woman standing in front of her didn't occupy her thoughts. That she wasn't even worth mentioning something so grand as an engagement to.
Humiliating how something so ordinary as your own name being said by another render a person complaisant.
“I tried. At the party. He asked to meet me in private saying he had a questions to ask. I ran to you," The memory of that night starts to bring back all the frustration and anger she felt. Eloise barely looked her in the eye when Cressida needed her help. "But you were so preoccupied with whatever problem was occurring between Penelope and Colin that you couldn’t spare a single second to hear what I had to say.” With each word she moves towards Eloise. Tears gather in her eyes, but she would fight them. She would not cry in front of Eloise Bridgerton.
“I’m sorry, Cressida.”
The words caught her by surprise. She deeply cherishes Eloise’s friendship but she knows that the younger woman is a difficult one. The fact that the determined look and serious tone gave place to an apology was unexpected.
Eloise’s brow is furrowed and her mouth is opened but no other words come out.
“It’s Lady Debling, now." She reminds her friend and herself. "We got married yesterday.” She turns towards her dressing table and to the book. Not bearing to look at Miss Bridgerton anymore.
“You didn’t even invite me.” Eloise’s voice is soft. And though Cressida can hear the humour, the hurt speaks louder. She takes a deep breath before daring to speak.
“I didn’t invite anyone.” She rests her hand on the book’s cover. “Lord Debling is a lonesome man and my only friend left me when I needed her the most.” She takes the book and holds it close to her chest, still not turning.
“If I had known, of course I would’ve listened to what you had to say that night.” Eloise’s voice grows closer. “But how does that change things? You would be leaving anyway, wouldn’t you?”
Cressida lets her arms fall beside her. The hand holding the book tenses gripping it.
“I wanted to ask you what I should say,” she blurts out.
“You wanted my blessing?” Eloise mockling asks, anger tracing the corners of her voice.
“No, Eloise.” She turns towards her friend. Looking deep into her vibrant blue eyes. “I wanted you to tell me if you wanted me to marry him or not.”
They stare at each other's eyes. Silence makes itself present for the first time since they started to talk. A silence filled with heavy breathing and words unsaid.
And breaking that silence, a whisper.
“Why?” Eloise looks into Cressida’s eyes, searching, hunting for an answer she knows she won’t get through words.
Cressida holds her gaze for as long as she can manage. And then she breaks it by looking down at her own hands.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” She shakes her head. “What is done is done.”
She gives a small sad smile. “Here,” Cressida holds the book to Eloise. “Thank you for lending it to me, but Lord Debling probably has a copy of his own.”
Eloise unwillingly takes the book. “Cressida-” A knock on the door cuts her off.
“My Lady.” The footman appears once again. “Your mother has asked me to gather the trunks.”
“Of course.” Cressida takes a step around Eloise and points to the trunks that should be taken by the footman and the coachman. As they leave Cressida turns to Eloise.
“I shall go,” the new Lady Debling announces, “The carriage is waiting. I’ll be leaving for the countryside. After all, Lord Debling has found his wife. He has no need for the city anymore.”
They are standing too far apart. They should embrace, Cressida thinks. They will not, she reckons. It's their loss.
She gives the smaller woman a gentle nod and is about to turn and leave when Eloise's words stop her.
“Say no,” she calls out.
Cressida looks back at the Bridgerton with a puzzled nervous look. “I beg your pardon.”
“If I had listened to what you wanted to ask me at the ball” - Eloise claps her own hands together and tries to stand still - “I would’ve suggested you say no.”
Cressida cocks her head slightly. Her eyes seem to shine for a single second. “And what reason would you have given me?”
“That I wouldn’t want to lose-'' She takes a deep breath. Cressida observes her as she hesitates to put into words whatever crosses her mind. “-your friendship. I value it deeply.”
“That's it?” A glint of disappointment passes through Cressida’s eyes. She hopes that her daring tone will make Eloise say whatever she's keeping in her heart.
“Would you have wished for me to have given you any other reason, my Lady?” Eloise says. A small smile playing on her lips.
Cressida tries to contain the smile that's forcing itself upon her and opens her mouth-
“Cressida!” Her father’s voice calls from outside the room.
She looks back to the door before returning her gaze to Eloise. So that's it. They will leave things unsaid. Perhaps in the future they will find the courage to say them. Cressida will hold onto that. The future.
“Goodbye, Eloise.” Her jaw tenses. She doesn’t know why but she curtsies.
Eloise curtsies back. They share an amusing look before Cressida takes one final look at the room she is in and at the girl standing in front of her and turns to leave.
“Good fortune, Lady Debling.” That stops Cressida’s step at the door. The words echo in her head, the raspiness of Eloise’s voice seeming stronger than ever. “To you and your husband.”
She glances back. One last glance. One last opportunity for their eyes to say their goodbyes.
“The same to you, Miss Bridgerton.”