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“He is doing what?”
Rose blinked a few times, trying to wrap her head around the news she had just heard.
Finn shrugged. “Yeah, well … we had to give him something to do out here. It’s not like the First Order is going to fall right away. Might as well put him to work.”
Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. “Does General Organa realise that he might build some sort of weapon out of those spare parts?”
Finn again looked up from his data pad. “I know. It’s what I told her, but she said that even Hux couldn’t get away from Endor without serious help. And since the Ewoks aren’t exactly building spaceships every day … well, he would have to be one heck of an engineer to pull that off.”
“I can’t believe it! I will go over there and have a look myself!” She huffed. Stars, didn’t they know how much voltage even a small droid had if rigged properly. Hux might set up walking bombs to kill them all.
Finn finally put his data pad down, chewing on his lower lip. Rose noticed that he was wearing one of Poe’s shirts … again. “Listen, Rose. I get it. Hux is bad news … but I think General Organa is right. We can’t leave him rotting in a cell; he has to have something to do.”
Rose crossed her arms. “I know, but all the more reason to see what he’s up to.” With that she left.
A couple of minutes later—after marching through the small encampment the Resistance had put up right next to the Ewok village—she arrived at the repair shop.
Hux was sitting at a workstation, next to him was a bored looking guard. Rose hadn’t seen the former general for a while and was surprised to see him sporting a beard and some rather loose khaki clothes.
Gone was the smooth, slicked back look she had to watch holo after holo. Next to him was a tiny repair droid, with its belly panel pulled open. Cables and chips were laying on the table but still connected to it.
Somehow she had expected him to be in uniform, laughing maniacally while setting up the next Starkiller.
He looked up, surprise visible in his wide-eyed stare. “You.”
Rose puffed herself up. “Yes, me.”
The guard, Cere, turned his attention towards Rose but remained mute. Rose cleared her throat. “I want to know what you are up to, Hux.” She peered on the workstation. “Huh, upgrading the gyro, are you?”
Hux crooked his eyebrow. “If you are here to question my competence, I have to disappoint you, Sargeant—”
“That’s Lieutenant Tico to you, Hux.”
He glared at her. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Just for the record, I don’t doubt your competence … far from it actually. I’m just wary of your motives. You might rig up some battery to blow up in our faces.”
The tiny droid Hux was working on beeped, distressed, tapping with its small metallic feet. Rose immediately felt bad and patted it. “Don’t you worry, BT-01, you will be alright. Nobody is making a bomb out of you.”
Hux nodded. “Indeed, if anything, I’ll make you more efficient.”
BT-01 honked sadly. Rose gulped. “You are already efficient, buddy. Don’t worry about it. You are great even if your charges don’t hold that long. You are just a bit more tired than the other droids, it’s fine.”
Hux frowned. “It’s not fine. All it needs are a few adjustments and its power banks will last considerably longer.”
Rose could have told him that it was in vain, that BT-01 had a faulty core, that it simply couldn’t last as long as the other droids. That she had tried to fix him herself three times already and that the little fellow was desperate to be useful.
She didn’t know if droids could feel sad but if they could, BT-01 would certainly be miserable. Always lagging behind, leaving tasks unfinished despite its best effort.
Of course a man like Hux wouldn’t understand. He was used to squeezing everything out of his troops, and he probably thought he could ruthlessly improve the Resistance as well … come to think about it; why was he helping them … at least from the looks of it?
She stayed, and watched him fix gonk droids, astromechs and fix-it droids. When the sun set, the guard shackled him and was about to lead him back to his cell when Rose stepped in.
“I’ll do it—I need to have a chat with Hux first. You go have dinner, Cere.”
The guard eyed her. “You sure? He’s vicious, as far as I know.”
“Oh, believe me … I know.” Memories of Hux sneering at her as he gave the order to have her killed came back to mind. Her holding half of the medallion she shared with her sister … “Nothing I can’t handle.”
Cere exhaled. “Alright.” He gave her the shock prod and left.
“Come on, Hux. How about a walk before we turn in?”
Hux crooked an eyebrow. “My my, Lieutenant. Is this an assassination attempt? I have to say, you are rather sloppy, leaving a witness.”
Rose ignored Hux and ushered him towards the slightly longer route through the base. Broken down equipment, burnt fighters and used up shield generators hemmed their silent walk as they moved through the run-down camp.
“You can’t fix BT-01,” said Rose suddenly, causing Hux to glance at her sideways.
“Why not?”
Hm, interesting, he wasn’t going on about how brilliant he was. She slowed her step and so did he. “Its core is faulty. You would have to dismantle it completely.”
Hux glanced at the ancient, worn-out equipment around them. “It’s you, isn’t it? You were the one to add the subprocessor in its power bank?” He straightened his back. “I can fix BT-01. I just have to find a way to improve its energy consumption.”
Rose gestured to him to keep walking. “Some things can’t be fixed, not without building a new droid.”
“It’s that defeatist attitude that will lead to your demise,” said Hux coldly as he started walking again. “Even coal can be moulded into a diamond with enough pressure, with enough skill.”
Rose remained silent for a few moments. Then she glanced again at Hux. Only now she noticed that he looked tired, tired and paler than he used to. How long had he been their prisoner? Three months? Longer? She couldn’t remember.
How odd, seeing how she had looked forward to having him in their custody. And yet she had barely bothered to visit him, gloat as she had imagined she would. But it had felt hollow; all the gloating in the galaxy wouldn’t bring Paige back.
Hux must know by now that the First Order wouldn’t mount a rescue, as he had claimed right after being captured on Takodana.
Why was she even here? A small voice in the back of her mind whispered that maybe she had hoped that he was up to no good so that at least something made sense.
Was this why she had stuck around, watching him work? To make him see, to make him understand? That they were all tired and worn out. That sometimes a tiny droid doing its best was good enough.
Of course he—
“I just want BT-01 to be better.” Hux had spoken quietly, almost to himself.
“Not everything has to be perfect, Hux.” She exhaled. “We are all doing what we can. Telling BT-01 that it needs to be ‘better’ will only make it miserable.” She smiled a little. “It’s best at planning ahead because it knows that its battery doesn’t last very long. All the other droids just scurry about and waste time and energy. But not BT-01 … it is lovely just like it is.”
She almost bumped into Hux as he stopped and turned to face her. He looked baffled … no not baffled, this wide-eyed look was more one of agitation. “That’s not true.”
“What?”
“It's weak! Making it accept its weakness will only make it contemptuous, make it—” he broke off. “Weakness must be expunged, ruthlessly so, if necessary.”
“What for?”
Hux all but gaped at her. “What for?! How can you ask this? You are an engineer yourself—surely you must value efficiency above anything else.” He chewed on his lower lip. “Useless, anything but perfection is useless.”
Of course a First Order officer would say something like that. Ruthless efficiency before anything else; there was no place for individualism in Hux’s mind. In a way it was sad. Was this why he was looking so haggard, so unhappy?
Because he drove himself to what he believed was perfection? “Do you really believe that?” The question was out before she could stop herself.
Hux pressed his lips together, but didn’t answer.
Huh, she had expected him to insist on being efficient. She cleared her throat. “I only came over to make sure that you are behaving. And I intend to keep an eye on you. I have seen the schematics you have drawn up, Hux. You are …” brilliant, “... not without skill.”
That got a rise out of him. “‘Not without skill?!’ How dare you, I improved the power grid of the Supremacy, I designed the oscillators—”
“Stars! Will you shut up?” groaned Rose. “Fine! Your designs are inspired, alright?”
He stared at her, blinking. “What?”
“Yeah, the way you aligned the sub-processors to absorb the excess heat in the grid was … it was interesting.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I should have known; you are an engineer, aren’t you? From which academy do you hail from?”
She shrugged. “I’m a mechanic, but in order to fix things I have to understand engineering as well.” She pointed the shock prod at him. “You are smart, too smart for your own good, Hux.”
He huffed. “A reluctant compliment? I’m flattered, Lieutenant.”
“Make of it what you will, but know this. Just because we don’t go on about efficiency all the time it doesn’t mean that we underestimate you. I will be keeping my eyes on your crafty hands, Hux.”
“Hands can’t be ‘crafty,’ the word you are looking for is ‘deft.’”
Rose took a deep breath. One of these days she was going to have to shock him to make him shut up. “Whatever. Come on, time to go to your cell.”
***
Over the next few days, Rose watched Hux fix droids. He, however, didn’t appreciate her frequent inputs on how to improve the droids.
“Decreasing the voltage will decrease the overall energy output!” Hux snapped, glaring at her.
“Banthashit! It will make sure that BB-5’s battery won’t deplete itself again!” she shot back, grabbing the hydrospanner, and sitting down next to him. “Stars! If you won’t do it, I will!”
They continued to bicker until the guard sighed loudly, making Rose conscious of how loud they had been. She cleared her throat and smiled at BB-5. “Sorry, Bee, you just wait; I will make sure that you can steer the cargo ship the whole route.”
BB chirped quietly, clearly distressed by its inability to function during a long-haul flight.
Rose tenderly wiped over its optic sensor. “Aw, come on, you know that I love you, right? Who else can focus on thrusters like you do? Your landings are always so soft and smooth.”
Next to her Hux was eerily silent, probably questioning her sanity because of her sympathy for droids.
After working for a couple of hours she went to get some caf for herself, Hux, and the guard—Cere was again on duty. When she came back, she saw that the guard was stretching his legs, walking around, glancing disinterested at the spare parts on the shelves.
She slowed her step when she saw how Hux looked around as if he wanted to make sure that nobody was watching him. Rose ducked into the shadowy entrance and watched him. Now she would see what he was really up to.
Working next to him had given her the impression that he was single-mindedly fixing droids, that he was … defeated for a lack of a better word. But perhaps it was all an act and now he would unveil his devious plan!
Hux haltingly reached out to BB-5, mirroring her gesture when she had cleaned its sensor. “Don’t you want to be perfect?” he quietly asked, stroking BB’s spherical body.
BB whistled, equally quiet. It was heart wrenching … it knew that it was faulty, but it wanted to be of use so badly, so desperately that its tiny antenna quivered.
“I know,” said Hux, wetting his lips. “I was a sickly boy, so I had to work hard to become … more.”
At this moment Cere returned to the workstation and Hux fell silent, continuing to work on the circuitry. Rose approached him and distributed the caf.
Her curiosity was piqued. Rose had known from the start that Hux was a person, but this was the first time she had gotten a sense of who he really was.
At the end of the day, she offered again to take him to his cell and Cere agreed, handing her once again the shock prod. “I don’t know why you keep showing up, Rose. I am paying attention, you know.”
“Sorry, I just … I have to make—”
Cere laughed. “You like tinkering, I know. And you truly love those droids, don’t you?”
“Yeah, well, maybe a bit.”
Hux watched the exchange with a crooked eyebrow; when they were walking through the base he spoke up. “You are sentimental, Lieutenant.”
“Because of the droids?” She laughed, causing him to frown. “Call it what you will, but I like them. And I suspect you do too.”
“I resent that statement! Droids are merely tools.” The tips of his ears turned pink.
“Banthashit. I saw you, you know. When you thought nobody was looking … you were gentle with BB-5.”
Hux gaped at her. “I …”
“It’s okay to be nice, you know.” She gestured towards the broken equipment around them. “The galaxy is shitty enough as it is. A bit of kindness is what we all need.”
Hux stopped, looking at her somewhat hesitantly. “That is not how the galaxy works, Lieutenant. ‘Kindness’ is not going to save you and your rag-tag band of rebels.”
Rose exhaled and sat down on a crate with spare parts. “See, that’s the difference between us. I believe that’s exactly what will save us. Because in the end we are all flawed, organic and artificial beings alike. Didn’t you see how sad BB-5 was because it thought it had to be just like all the others when it's such a wonderful droid in its own right.”
“You were serious when you told it about the smooth landings?” Hux asked somewhat incredulously. He stood before her, almost as if he was standing at parade rest.
“Sure, everybody can contribute to the good fight.” She smiled.
He averted his gaze, staring at a broken power generator. “All my life I have been told that I was useless. ‘Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless.’” He turned to face her. “I despise you and your kindness, you know. My fath—my first commanding officer didn’t offer me one word of encouragement, only the back of his hand!”
Rose pulled up her legs, sitting now cross-legged on the crate. “If you hated how he treated you, why are you then acting like him?”
Hux paled. “What?”
“Going on about efficiency … tormenting poor droids by telling them that they are not good enough, that they need to be ‘efficient’ instead of simply doing their best with the resources they have.” She shrugged. “It’s what your old man said, right? ‘Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless.’”
He stared at her.
“Parroting mean things people say isn’t going to help anybody, Hux. I should know because for a very long time I did the same … hating myself for who I was instead of trying to be my best self.”
“How did you—”
“I have been working with you the past few days, Hux. You look so sad and miserable whenever you talk about efficiency.” She hugged her knees. “Has nobody ever told you that you don’t have to be so hard on yourself?”
Hux blinked, a shuttered breath escaped him. “No.”
How was it that the galaxy was filled with sad people who were cruel just because they had been taught to be cold and unfeeling? It was a depressing thought … if only Hux had been straight up evil. But then again, there was no such thing as pure evil, was there?
“I guess then that you didn’t have many friends.” She smiled a little and slid off the crate. “A good thing that you have already found some; I’m sure BB-5 will love your work on its gyros. You don’t have to be miserable, you know.”
Hux blinked again. “Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not pathetic! I don’t need your pity!” He hissed the last word.
Rose remained silent for a few moments. “Come on, Hux. Let’s go have a cup of tea in the cantina.”
He all but gaped at her. “What the—”
“Do you want tea or not?” she said, taking in the man before her. He really looked like death warmed over. Perhaps a cup of tea would fix him, at least a little bit. It would make at least her feel better, not watching another being so damn unhappy.
She could almost hear the gears in his head turning; he clenched and unclenched his hands. He was probably trying to make up his mind if she was trying to poison him.
“What’s your angle?” he finally asked.
“Trying to get a hot beverage into that pale mug of yours?” she offered.
When he still hesitated, she added: “Look, I’m not forcing you, okay? I just thought you might want to have a cup before returning to your cell.”
He frowned a bit, then he nodded. “I would like some tea.”
“Okay, let’s go then.”
***
Hux pulled out the tea ball and carefully put it on the tiny saucer next to him. Rose could smell the scent of his black tea and took a sip of her caf. The cantina was half empty; most of the Resistance members had already had dinner and were relaxing in their room … or so she assumed.
Without Finn and Poe she hardly spoke to anybody. Too much to do and not enough time.
“I guess that’s not really up to your old standards, huh? Bet you had all kinds of fancy teas back in the Order.”
“Hardly, I didn’t have enough time to indulge in … luxury.” Hux frowned again—it seemed to be his default facial expression. “I didn’t think that anybody wanted to spend time with me, especially not a rebel … why are we really here?”
Ah, the question she couldn’t answer, at least not yet. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “Perhaps I’m just curious. I had this idea,” she gestured in his direction, “about you. Thinking that you were evil, ruthless … being in the Order and ...” she trailed off.
Hux had been in command of the FO destroyers when Paige had died above D'Qar. She looked up into his pale face, his blood-shot eyes. If only he had been his old self, smooth and cold, but seeing him fixing droids, talking to them so gently when nobody was looking …
“Ah, you are one of those do-gooders, trying to ‘save’ me.” He sneered. “Why is it that you insist on being kind to the likes of me? Does it make you feel better about yourself? About all the soldiers you have killed during your ‘good fight’?”
There was a hint of desperation in his eyes, he was fidgety. He was usually calm and focused, now it seemed that he was on edge. All because she had offered him tea? “Maybe. As I said, I don’t know why we are here.” She shrugged. “And so what if I’m being kind to feel better about myself? You still got a cup of tea out of it, didn’t you?”
“Hm, I admit that I can’t quite get a read on you, Lieutenant Tico.” He took a sip of tea. “How can you not know why you are wasting your time with me?”
Rose leaned back in the chair. “How come that you keep chastising yourself? Are you waiting for me to contradict you? Do you think that I’m so soft that I want to make you feel better about yourself?” She huffed. “Sorry to disappoint, but that’s not going to happen.”
Hux scoffed. “I’m not chastasing myself, I’m merely stating facts.”
Rose decided to ignore him and continued. “I kind of get it, you know. I also don’t like myself very much. Probably the reason why I prefer the company of droids.” She sighed. What was she doing? Why was she telling Hux all this?
He eyed her but remained silent.
“Paige was the social one. My aunt Peery often wondered how two sisters could be so different. It always felt like I was somehow the beta version of her, despite her being the older one.” Rose wiped over her face. “When she died, I kind of tried to live up to her memory, you know. Making friends, being more outgoing instead of sitting in my room all day or moping around in the hangar, fixing the things I could fix.”
Hux held her gaze. “Is this where you expect me to say I’m sorry that she’s dead? I take it that she was killed during a battle of some sort.”
Rose glared back at him. “I don’t want your empty apology. Didn’t you listen? I’m only interested in fixing things I can actually fix.” She sniffed a bit, and wiped again over her eyes. “The galaxy is a pretty shitty place. This base is dreary, full of broken things and broken people … but we still have to fix things. We have to move forward.”
“On that we can agree,” he said quietly, much to her surprise.
“Oh?”
“The Order is obviously no longer interested in my services, so … I’m not uninterested in working on droids.” He looked contrite, the tips of his ears were a light shade of pink.
“Yeah, I thought so. But just to make things clear—I will still keep an eye on you. So that you don’t build that bomb after all, killing us all.”
“Stars have mercy! Do you intend on pestering me with your ‘suggestions’ even more?” He leaned back. “Your shortcuts are a disgrace to every engineer.”
Jerk! “Then it’s a good thing that I’m a mechanic and not an engineer, right? Besides, don’t think I didn’t see you overclocking that processor like I suggested.”
He crooked an eyebrow. “Even a blind gundark finds prey from time to time.”
Rose took another sip of caf. “Funny, thought the same when you were right about the power lines in the BB-4 unit.”
They glared at each other. Finally Hux spoke again. “About the gyros and the propeller thrust in the hydraulics … we could bypass the issue with a slight redesign.”
Now it was Rose’s turn to lift an eyebrow. “How?”
Hux drew breath and gave a lengthy explanation for the redesign. High and mighty like always, thought Rose when she interrupted him from time to time to point out flaws in this thinking, but two hours later they were still talking and Rose had to admit that Hux wasn’t completely wrong about his approach.
Perhaps she could work with him after all.
The end