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Weiss was never good at expressing her emotions.
Even as a child, before her father had raked his claws into her, she'd found emotions hard to articulate. As she grew up, and her mental walls hardened and toughened, she found it even harder. At the time, she considered it a blessing. No emotions meant that she could perform more clinically, without morals. Just as her father wanted her to.
And then, Winter began to teach her how to fight. How to use a sword, how to care for weapons, then how to attack and block. And Weiss was quite good at it.
At that point, she'd found her first emotion in a long time. Passion, enjoyment. She liked fighting, she liked using her big sister’s weapons to take down training drones. Adored the rapier she'd received from Winter as a parting gift. Her grandfather, her biggest idol, had been a hunter, and now she could follow after him. She could become a huntress.
Then she went to Beacon and became part of team RWBY, where she discovered, very quickly, how toughened her emotional walls had become. In Atlas, everything was cold, isolated, hard, solitary. She hadn't a need for her emotions, so they'd remained locked away, frozen in a permafrost beneath the snow in her heart.
She had been dubbed the ice queen, after all.
Then things started to change. Team RWBY was warm, and chip by chip they cracked through the ice surrounding her. Despite everything, Weiss began to have fun, began to feel free and happy. She found something she hadn't realized she'd even lost in the first place.
Herself.
It wasn't without gracious help. All of her friends had whittled her down day by day. Yang and Sun's infectious humour, no matter how ridiculous and corny it was. Blake's reticent and taciturn nature, but wisdom beyond her younger years and shared experiences. Team JNPR and their rambunctious energy, a rivalry, but also a second family. A sisterhood, a friendship.
And then, there was Ruby.
Ruby, the flowery scented tornado that quite literally exploded into her life and started the damage that broke down those walls to begin with. Ruby was a lot of things; their leader, her partner, her friend.
The longer Weiss spent with Ruby though, the more their friendship... shifted.
She knew what a friendship was. She considered Yang and Blake as her friends, nigh sisters. Pyrrha and Sun were friends. But sometimes her and Ruby’s relationship felt more mature. Older, deeper.
For a while, Weiss had thought it was because she'd considered Ruby to be her first best friend. She was an original, subject zero so to speak. It made sense in her mind for Ruby to have a richer relationship with her.
However, when Jaune and Pyrrha had finally broken the ice between themselves, and become a couple. It made Weiss realize something.
Perhaps it was love she'd been feeling.
Her stunted emotional growth, paired with her upbringing, had starved her of feeling that emotion. She had Winter, of course, but that was family. Though they’d been together since infancy, their bond tested and raised from the ground up, they still were quite sterile with each other at the best of times.
Pyrrha had spoken to her countless times before she'd finally broke the news to her own partner. Pyrrha had always believed Jaune, despite his tendencies and lack of experience. To her, he was a breath of fresh air, someone who hadn't seen her as just another famous fighter, someone who’d seen her for her . A human. A girl who wanted to save lives, just trying to make her way in the world.
Jaune hadn't cared in the slightest that she was a world class fighter, or that she'd won tournaments. He hadn't cared about Pyrrha Nikos, famed junior huntress. He only wanted to learn about Pyrrha Nikos, the girl. And she'd loved that. His quirks were just an added bonus.
And Weiss found herself describing Ruby in a… hauntingly similar way.
Their introduction to each other had been… rough. Weiss acknowledged her attitude had been far less than welcoming. She'd treated Ruby horribly, and had continued to for several weeks even after initiation despite her best efforts not to. She'd been snappy and sharp, and downright awful.
But Ruby had come back, had looked past the name and the attitude and straight through to who she'd dubbed “Nice Weiss” and dragged her out kicking and screaming. Ruby Rose had demolished her emotional barriers, for lack of a better term. Blown them away with just as much vigor as the day they'd met.
They'd always seemed closer to one another, complimentary, two sides of the same coin. As Weiss shifted into her role in the team, with Ruby, she'd learned that the two of them slotted together perfectly. Chaos and balance, red and white. Even their weapons, both opposite sides of range and precision.
So, Weiss Schnee had deemed herself ‘in love' with Ruby Rose.
Was she going to do anything about it? No .
She hadn't the foggiest idea of where to even begin with something as complex as this emotion was. Weiss didn't know or understand what love was, and no amount of research was going to help her in that regard (Trust her, she tried.). So she did what she always did when it came to emotions and shoved it as far back into her mind as it would go. Hopefully to never see the light of day again.
Where it remained, until right this very moment.
The dorm is mostly quiet this late into the night. Yang is definitely asleep, snoring softly with limbs splayed out in every direction and her pajama top half ridden up her torso. Blake, well, Weiss could never tell with Blake. The cat faunus rarely moved in her sleep, but she could have been awake just as easily.
More than once had Weiss been frightened to spot Blake's golden eyes glinting at her in the darkness, watching and observing them all as they slept. Usually, she was the last to sleep. An old habit from her time in the White Fang, she had explained.
Then there was Ruby, who, on a normal night would be in the same state as her sister; sprawled out and unconscious to the world. Tonight, though, it seems it was different.
Every ten minutes or so, Ruby would shift above Weiss' bed, rocking the brunette's entire bed frame dangerously above Weiss' head. (She loved bunk beds, but hated Ruby's death trap—) The wood would groan and the ropes shift and rubbed, followed by a disgruntled groan from Ruby as she tries and fails to get comfortable.
Which left Weiss lying on her back, staring up at Ruby's constantly swaying bed with a prayer that she'd not be crushed and a vein bulging in her head.
Weiss hates the quiet, it gives her mind the space to wander and she doesn't enjoy it when that happens. Usually it meant she's overthinking something to oblivion or, like tonight, she'd uproot something she'd tried hard to forget. Which wasn't helped by the swaying nuisance above her head.
Ruby shifts again, and this time Weiss decides she's had enough. She scrunches her face as dust falls from beneath Ruby's bed, before pushing herself up and out of her blanket’s suffocating warmth. She shivers at the chill in the air, her night dress far too thin in the colder nights of winter, and uses a glyph to lift herself up a little.
Her fingers curl around the base of Ruby's bed, stopping the swaying as she glares into the bundle of wrapped sheets in the dark. She can't see Ruby, but Weiss knows she's there.
“Ruby.”
Like a moth to the flame, silver eyes suddenly appear in the mist of the night, wide and alert and not tired looking at all. Weiss furrows her brows at her, and hopes the frustration on her face conveys enough of her current situation.
“Oh, hi…” she whispers meekly, voice muffled behind sheets as she wriggles the rest of her face free. “Sorry… Did I wake you?”
“I haven't gotten to sleep yet,” Weiss huffs, her grip tightening on Ruby's bed as it waves. Ruby curls closer to herself, a sheepish look in the dark looking back at Weiss.
“Sorry— I'll, uh… be quieter,” Ruby snuggles into her blanket, and Weiss physically watches as she tries to slow down her breathing. Which she does by holding her breath.
“What's wrong?” Weiss rolls her eyes, grabbing the edge of Ruby's blanket and pulling it back slightly so she could see all of her partner's face. Heat whafts from beneath the blanket, and it makes Weiss long for her own.
Ruby squirms, looking away as best she can without actually turning her head, “It's…” she pauses, moonlit eyes pan back to her icy blue, obvious hesitation on tired features. Weiss waits for her partner’s confession, only to be met with, “...Nothing…sorry for waking you up. I’ll be quieter than a mouse so you can sleep.”
Well, now Weiss is worried. “Are you going to keep tossing and turning?”
“Stiller than a statue,” Ruby smiles softly, pressing her face harder into the pillow beneath it.
Weiss doesn't believe her, but tiredness pulls at her eyelids and a yawn breaks from her throat, so she decides it's in her best interest to trust her. “Alright… good. Goodnight.”
“Night…”
Weiss dissipates her glyph slowly, creeping back into her bed, nestling beneath the blankets with a heavy sigh as she relaxes. For a time, she figures Ruby might've actually fallen asleep, and slowly starts to slip into the realm of the unconscious as well.
However, when the bed above her begins shifting and tilting again, the groaning wood immediately wakes the heiress again.
This time, there's a small thump of bare feet against the ground, and a presence looking behind her.
“Weiss…?”
Weiss grunts and rolls, finding Ruby standing alone in the darkness beside her bed. She sits up, rubbing at the corners of her eyes with a yawn as silver eyes watch her
“...what?”
Ruby pinches the muscle of her arm beneath her hand, gaze glued shyly to the edge of Weiss' mattress. She shuffles where she stands, and it reminds Weiss of her brother when he was younger.
“Um… Can I…” Ruby looks up, and Weiss finally sees vulnerability in silver when she awkwardly stutters, “Can I sleep… with you… tonight?”
Weiss blinks tiredly at her, and stifles another yawn as it comes, “Why…? Is there something wrong with your bed, other than the fact it’s an obvious hazard to both of our healths?”
Ruby huffs nervously, “No…There’s nothing wrong with my bed… I keep having… bad dreams...”
Weiss lands Ruby a glare of exhaustion, glancing at her charging scroll and the ridiculous time that glows dimly across the minimized display, “Aren't you a bit old to be asking to sleep in somebody's bed after having a nightmare?”
Ruby rubs at her arm harder, “Y-yeah, but I keep waking you up… and…”
“And? Why not sleep with Yang then?”
“Cause I wanna sleep with you…” Ruby mutters, eyes downcast for a moment before hopeful puppy-like eyes meet Weiss’ once more, “you make me feel safe, too… so”
Well, dust. How was that fair?
Weiss lets out a long, withering sigh, before shifting her body back onto a cold patch of the mattress beneath her and lifting her blanket. “ Only for tonight. And only because I want to actually get some sleep too.”
Weiss looks away bashfully as Ruby's face lights up, and she eagerly moves in to slide beneath the sheets. Weiss turns her back to her partner as she gets comfortable. It takes a long minute of shifting and turning before Ruby eventually comes to a still.
Weiss feels a rush of hot air against her neck as Ruby lets out a hard sigh, and heat rises to her cheeks.
“Thanks Weissy,” Ruby whispers gratuitously, shifting closer to the heiress’ back. Weiss can feel the ghost of Ruby's hands on the middle of her back, and Ruby's head against her nape. “You're the best.”
“Just be quiet and go to sleep,” Weiss mumbles back, trying to ignore the way her body reacts to Ruby's warm presence behind her. “And not a word of this in the morning.”
Ruby giggles slightly, “Right right…”
They fall silent after that, and Weiss decides that this is worse than the bunk bed swinging on top of her. She can feel every breath Ruby takes and gives along the exposed skin of her neck, feels the way her slender body wants to fall into the mattress dip that Ruby is in. At one point, Ruby shifts and the top of her knee grazes off the back of Weiss' thigh, and Weiss jerks away like she's been burned.
If she wasn't confident in her… adoration of her partner before, then she sure is now.
Ruby mumbles in her half-asleep state, nestling closer into the warmth of Weiss' back. Weiss goes rigid, goosebumps erecting along her skin as she tries to focus her mind and relax. She thinks it may be working when a sharp gasp behind her brings her back.
Ruby flinches and whines, and curls tighter into a ball behind her. Weiss frowns, casting a glimpse over her shoulder to find her partner awake again.
“Ruby?”
“Ah!… sorry,” Weiss can't see her, but she can hear the shakiness in Ruby's voice. “...Sorry.”
“Another nightmare?”
“Yeah… sorry, I didn't mean to wake you…”
“Would you stop apologizing…” Weiss rolls over and faces Ruby. Silver eyes almost glow at her in the dull light of the dorm when she finds them. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Huh?”
“Your nightmare,” Weiss reiterates, pulling the blankets up over her shoulder so that she could hide in the heat while she helped her partner through whatever this was. “What is it about?”
“Ah, you shouldn’t have to worry about it. I’ll get over it in a jiffy! Just gotta sleep first…get my beauty sleep, y’know.” Ruby smiles nervously, backing away a smidge and curling her hands into her chest. She looks so small like this, vulnerable. Weiss doesn't know the last time she'd seen Ruby look like a kid like this. The heiress frowns softly, furrowing her brows.
“When I was younger, Winter would often help comfort me after frightful dreams by having me tell her about it,” Weiss explains. “ I’m sure Yang has done something similar, but since she’s sleeping. I'm offering the same, if you'd like.”
“Really? It's… kind of stupid… and it's late.” Ruby mumbles her contemplations of the idea for a long minute, mulling it over in her head. Weiss can see her eyes grow unfocused in the dark, pupils wide. Have her eyes always shimmered like they are now?
After a moment, Ruby comes to her conclusion, shaking her head, “you should be sleeping, I'm —”
“Don’t you dare apologize or I swear to the Brothers you’ll be sleeping in the hallway for the rest of the week.”
“Sss—sleeping… Yep! And I’m totally not…sorry?”
“Ruby.”
A sigh, and Ruby shifts to lay flat on her back, turning away from Weiss' watchful gaze to instead stare at the slats of her bed from below. “I’m just— afraid of being alone someday.”
“Alone?”
Ruby raises her hands above her head, watching them move and gesture as she spoke, “I mean, you’ve got the whole Schnee Dust Company thing, Yang wants to go explore the world probably without her little sister always tagging along, and Blake wants to fight the White Fang and fight for faunus… And we won't always be in Beacon, and… I don't know if we'll be with each other forever.”
“…”
“I don't want what happened to my dad's team to happen to us. I don't want to be apart. I want to be able to protect everyone, you , “ Weiss watches her partner curl more into herself, lifted arms slowly retracting to rest on her chest and gripping, “I won’t be able to do that if you're not around, and—”
“We don't need protection. We're huntresses , Ruby, we can fight and protect ourselves.”
“My mom was a huntress too…” It’s a weak mutter, but the undeniable pain that crosses over Ruby’s features tugs on Weiss’ heartstrings leaving her with an unbearable ache. One that fills her with the urge to embrace the woman in front of her.
“Ruby…”
“I just don't think I can live without you guys anymore… if we lost just one, I.. If I lost you, Weiss…”
Weiss swallows hard. The heavy implication that sentence carries, the emphasis on her. She shouldn’t read into it. Ruby most likely is using her as an example because of the fact she’s the only member of the team currently awake and their close proximity. Yet, still…
“Is that what you were dreaming about? Losing somebody?”
Ruby hesitates, a pregnant pause in the air before a heavy sigh breaks it, “Something like that.”
Weiss shifts her weight, sitting up on her elbows to hover over Ruby alongside her, unable to help the question that passes by her lips, “Was it me?”
Something painful flashes over Ruby's face, and it's all the proof to tell Weiss that she is right. Ruby, stubbornly, covers her eyes with the back of her hand and chews on her cheek.
“I know you can handle yourself,” Ruby’s voice wobbles as she speaks. She sounds like it’s a whisper away from shattering, but she holds it together. At least, Weiss thinks she does. “You're one of the best fighters I know, but…”
“But?”
“I keep dreaming of turning around to watch you fall, or see Myrtenaster jam, o-or you run out of dust, or you make just one little mess up and—” she stops her rambles before her thoughts can escape her, taking a tight, shuddering breath that makes Weiss' throat tighten and ache in pity.
“And then you fall, and I can never get to you in time. Every time I'm just a second too late,” she snarls at herself, in pity of disgust and Weiss hates it. She hates that Ruby is digging into herself over this.
Gently, Weiss reaches forward and lifts Ruby's wrist from her eyes. The skin there is damp, but Weiss chooses not to comment on the evidence of Ruby's tears. Her grip slides comfortably around the slender wrist in her hold and squeezes.
“That's not going to happen,” Weiss promises softly, but it does nothing to convince her partner. The brunette rolls to her side, her wrist still held softly by Weiss' cool hand.
“But what if it does?!” Ruby slightly raises her frail voice, grits her teeth, fresh tears glistening in silver. “You can’t promise that…it could happen. It could happen today, tomorrow, or in a few hours, or in a few seconds-”
“You're right,” Weiss calmly agrees before guiding Ruby's hand across the short gap between them. She places Ruby's hand up against her chest, above her heart, where she knows it beats steadily in its cage. “But tonight. I am safe and alive. I’m okay.”
Ruby's face scrunches up, a weak sob rattling her chest as she nestles closer to her partner. Her fingers tighten onto the fabric of Weiss' night dress, causing Weiss to blush hotly as it tugs at the collar. Ruby holds on, feeling every quickened beat of Weiss' heart, learning the rhythm, and memorizing it. Etching the sensation into her brain.
“You’re okay…” Ruby whispers, her voice trembling, filled with a mix of relief and lingering fear.
"I'm okay," Weiss repeats softly, wrapping an arm around Ruby in an attempt to console her. She hesitates for a moment when Ruby flinches slightly, feeling unsure. Physical displays of affection are unfamiliar territory for Weiss, and Ruby isn’t used to receiving them from her. But she tightens her hold, trying to convey a sense of safety and warmth.
First time for everything, Weiss thinks, feeling a strange mix of awkwardness and determination.
Ruby’s pitched breathing slowly mellows back to a pace they both recognize. She releases Weiss’ night dress, but instead of pulling away fully, she tentatively wraps both her arms around the Schnee’s midsection, her embrace gentle but firm. “You're still alive,” she murmurs, her voice a fragile whisper laced with vulnerability.
“A-allegedly,” Weiss stammers, her face burning insistently as Ruby nestles her head beneath her jaw. Goosebumps rush up her back as she registers the sensation of hot breath against her collarbone. She swallows hard, trying to maintain her composure. The closeness is overwhelming, but not unwelcome.
Why does this feel so... right? Weiss wonders, her thoughts racing. She’s never been this close to anyone before, not like this.
Ruby’s arms tighten softly after a moment. “It's just a silly dream,” she says, her voice trembling but beginning to steady. The reassurance is as much for herself as it is for Weiss.
Weiss glances towards Blake’s side of the room, chewing on her bottom lip. After a moment of thought, she sighs, bringing her arm up to brush through the back of Ruby’s tousled hair soothingly. The gesture feels surprisingly natural, and she finds a small comfort in it. “You're such a dunce, Ruby,” she murmurs, her tone affectionate despite her words.
“I know,” Ruby giggles softly, her voice still tinged with lingering fear. “You love me though.”
And there it is. The admission Weiss has been avoiding, the one that makes her heart race and her mind spin. “And who told you such a blasphemous thing?” Weiss replies, trying to inject a note of teasing into her voice, though her heart pounds at the admission.
“Just a hunch,” Ruby says, her grin audible even in the dim light.
Weiss can’t help but smile, though she rolls her eyes, “Well, your hunch is misleading.”
“Do you, though?”
“Do I what?” Weiss asks, though she already knows the answer. She can feel the question hanging between them, heavy and significant.
“Love me.”
Weiss hesitates, her heart pounding. She wants to answer, but the words feel too big, too overwhelming. “That's… That's a very loaded question, Ruby.”
“Not really…” Ruby’s voice is small, vulnerable. She sounds so young, so fragile, and it makes Weiss’s heart ache.
Weiss takes a deep breath, considering her words carefully. “I picked you over Jaune. Does that cover your criteria for an answer?”
Ruby’s grin widens. “Come on,” she coaxes, her voice light and teasing. “Just admit that you like me.”
Weiss rolls her eyes, though a small smile tugs at her lips. “I wouldn’t consider you a friend if I didn’t like you.”
“So you do like me?” Ruby presses, her voice hopeful. There’s a vulnerability in her tone that tugs at Weiss’s heart.
“Ruby.”
“That’s not a no? So is that a yes?” Ruby’s persistence is both endearing and exasperating.
Weiss sighs. “Stop being such a pest and go to sleep.”
“Hehe, okay, okay,” Ruby giggles, snuggling closer, her fear slowly ebbing away in the warmth of Weiss’s embrace.
As the room falls silent, Weiss continues to gently stroke Ruby’s hair, her mind racing with unspoken thoughts and unacknowledged feelings. She watches the steady rise and fall of Ruby’s breathing, feeling the last of her own anxiety melt away. Maybe she doesn’t have all the answers yet, but for now, being here, holding Ruby close, is enough.
Weiss’s thoughts drift as she holds Ruby, feeling the soft weight of her in her arms. This feels... right. It scares her how right it feels, how much she cares. But maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to let herself feel this way. To admit, if only to herself, that she does love Ruby. That she always has.
“...Weiss?”
“What now?!”
“Are you having a heart attack? Your heart is beating really fast.”
“...Shut up and go to sleep.”