what are you asking me to do?

It’s difficult to believe that the war is over. Perhaps it’s because around every corner of their journey back to Renais is filled with reminders. Scorch marks where fire magic took place, gashes in tree bark from some sort of blade…

Eirika knows those reminders will continue to grow the closer they ride to home. At least now she can view the destruction of their homeland as something that they can immediately turn their attention to repairing, rather than something that must be left for later. It had been difficult to leave behind the damage Orson had only made worse.

When they make camp that night, Seth says they should make it into Renais within the next few days. Soon, Eirika thinks, she’ll be able to sleep in her home again. No matter the state of the castle, it’s a nice thought.

They’ve had a watch set for every night they’ve been on the road lately, and tonight is no different. Unsurprisingly, Seth volunteers to take the first one and tells the rest of their entourage to catch some much-needed rest.

Eirika lays down next to Ephraim. Her brother has never seemed to have difficulty falling asleep quickly — perhaps a side effect of his previous experience in the field — and his breathing deepens in little time while Eirika remains wide awake. She stares up at the sky, which still has a touch of sunset color. It won’t be long until the stars take their turn.

The downside of their journey coming to an end is she’s running out of time to address the thoughts that have been circling her mind. They’ve grown more intensely since the end of the final battle. Everyone is embarking on a new future, and as the future queen, she has a large role to play in shaping it. Is it selfish of her to also be thinking of her personal future, and not just that of her beloved kingdom?

Slowly, she sits up. Tonight is as good of a night as any to have the conversation. There’s no guarantee that she’d have Seth on his own again for the rest of the journey, and then what?

He’s seated on a log just a few feet away, rotating his gaze from the sleeping members of their party to his lance and to their surroundings. Though he must be as tired as the rest of them, he looks perfectly alert. She approaches, trying to remain quiet so as to not wake anyone, but not so silent that she startles him.

“Seth?” she asks quietly.

He looks away from his lance. “Is something wrong, Princess?”

“No,” she says. Then pauses. “Not exactly. Would it be too much of a distraction if I talked with you for a moment?”

“Not at all.”

Seth shifts further down on the log, freeing up space for her to sit next to him. As she does, she thinks of those nights they’d spent together as they fled to Frelia. How long ago that seems. She angles herself towards him to speak.

“I want to talk to you about what you said regarding our positions,” she says. “I fear we will be too busy once we’re back home.”

He’s a clever man. He has to know where she’s going with this. Yet he looks at her steadily, the firelight reflecting in his eyes and making him look — dare she think it — more handsome than usual.

“One of the things you said then was that if I cannot send men to die, I’m not fit to rule. I still agree with that, but I also believe I’ve now proven that I can. And that I will fight alongside those same men.”

“You have proven that you are fit to rule,” Seth agrees, “but fate willing, you will not have to fight alongside us in the future. Your soldiers will handle the front lines once more, as we did before.”

Eirika doesn’t want to return back to before. Of course she wants a return to peace, of course she doesn’t want to have to face down demons and other monsters on a regular basis, of course she wishes her father and Lyon were still with them — but to pretend like she hasn’t grown from this experience?

“I understand. But Seth…my point is that you feared that I would not be able to send you into battle because of feelings for you, and that hasn’t been the case. I know you are the best of our knights, and that means to keep Renais safe, I must put you in danger. It will always be my decision, even when we’re fighting the worst evil the continent has seen.”

That gives him pause. She knows she’s going back on much of what she’d said during that conversation, but wills him to understand that she’s not doing so lightly.

“These…feelings are larger than you and I,” he says finally. “As queen, everything you do will have a ripple effect. Even if we both believed the feelings can be separated from duty, there will be people who do not, and I cannot allow you to risk your rule on someone like me. Especially not when the kingdom is in need of much work.”

“If thinking of you fondly did not prevent us from defeating Fomortiis, I refuse to accept that doing so will prevent us from rebuilding Renais.”

“Lady Eirika —”

“I understand if you do not see it the same way. The last thing I want is to complicate your relationship with your duty when you’ve done it so well for all these years. Yet I would hate to lie to you even more, and to pretend that I still agree with all of that conversation would be false.”

Seth just stares at her. She wishes that some hint of emotion will cross his face, to give her some indication as to how he feels about what she’s said. But he shows the same steadiness that reassures the soldiers, and now only serves to leave her uncertain.

Perhaps if words are not enough to convince him, she will turn to actions. Action is how they’ve come this far, after all.

Eirika shifts closer to him, head angling up to keep their eyes locked. He swallows. She waits a moment, then moves closer still, her knee bumping against his leg. There’s less than a knife-length’s distance between their faces now.

“Princess Eirika…” Seth starts, but he doesn’t stop her. Doesn’t lean away. And as she starts to fully close the distance between them, he even meets her in the middle.

Eirika’s eyes close as her lips brush his. On occasion, she’d imagined this moment. But she hadn’t been able to account for the gentleness of Seth’s hand on her cheek, the warmth of his presence. Her hands rest on his arms, feeling the strength coiled up in him, the strength that played no small part in bringing them to victory.

The strength that had saved her on more than one occasion and made this moment possible.

When they pull away to breathe, his fingers linger on her jaw. She doesn’t move. If she does, she’s terrified he’ll retreat back into his shell of propriety that she’s finally managed to pull him out of. And after sharing the kiss, after seeing the future that could be theirs, she can’t bear that thought.

“You will be my queen,” he says finally. Their faces are still close enough that his breath stirs her hair as he speaks.

“I will.”

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he withdraws his hand, and Eirika immediately misses its absence. It’s a warm night, yet her cheek feels cooler.